A/N: I was so happy to see that people are actually reading! Thanks for the reviews. I love getting suggestions – keeps me motivated!

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Chapter 4

Sam stumbled through the front door of her house, exhaustion overwhelming her. Dropping her keys and purse on a small table, she made a beeline for the sofa. As she fell heavily into its wonderful softness, she sighed. Life simply did not get more hectic than it was today.

Ever since her return from P6Y-441, her world had been in turmoil. She'd thought she had been doing a good job of pretending otherwise, since neither Daniel nor Teal'c had questioned her. Of course, now she understood their silence. They had been pretending every bit as much as she had been.

Not everyone in her life had accepted her performance. On the one occasion she'd seen her father, Jacob had repeatedly expressed his concern. Luckily, he hadn't stuck around long enough to do much digging.

And then there was Pete.

Sam had wrestled with whether or not to tell him about the incident, but eventually decided it was in his best interest to keep it quiet. After all, she never would have slept with Jack, were it not for that horrible concoction. And she knew it could never happen again. Telling Pete just seemed like the coward's way out. It would ease her guilt at the expense of his feelings, which hardly seemed fair. She tried to rationalize her lie by thinking of the whole trip to P6Y-441 as "classified." Unfortunately, it didn't help.

Lying to Pete might have been just a smidge easier had he once gotten upset about her ever-shortening fuse. But he hadn't. He could sense there was something dreadfully wrong in Sam's life, and no matter how she had lashed out, he'd withstood it and tried to comfort her in any way she'd let him. She just couldn't allow herself to be close to him, emotionally or physically, after her return from the Colony.

And now she was going to break his heart.

Sam choked back hot tears. Never in her life had she met someone so willing to accept her, faults and all. Pete didn't expect her to be superwoman. He let her relax and be herself. It was a relationship unlike any other she'd ever had. All of her close friends, even those she thought of as family, were part of her work with the SGC. No matter how much they shared, there was always a certain level of professionalism expected, especially amongst those in the military. Especially with Jack.

She could not have had two more different relationships than the ones she had with Pete and Jack. With Pete, everything was open and demonstrated. Sometimes she was even a little uncomfortable with how expressive he was toward her. Compared to the totally unspoken bond she shared with Jack, Pete's intensity was a little overwhelming.

How could she possibly feel so strongly about two men who were so completely different? Sighing, she realized it really didn't matter. Today's revelation was guaranteed to be a deal-breaker with Pete. And, in spite of everything that was going on, Jack had made no mention of any kind of romantic future for the two of them.

Sam wasn't going to lie to herself. The last four weeks had been a combination of bitter, hellish guilt, and dreamy, sweet remembrance. It seemed as each day had passed, she'd recall some small detail of her night with Jack, which had previously been buried in drug-induced amnesia. Usually, these tidbits of memory would hit her when she saw him walking down the hallway or sitting in the mess hall. One minute, she'd be perfectly fine, and the next minute, she'd be overwhelmed by images of Jack tenderly caressing her face, or reverently speaking her name. The outcome of those incidents wasn't pretty. The most recent, of course, had resulted in her fainting in the hallway.

Daniel had just explained her painful encounter with the energy crystal, when Jack had turned to look at her. The concerned intensity in his eyes seemed to complete a circuit in her brain, and all at once, she saw that same look in eyes glazed with passion. He'd been so gentle with her. He had treated her as though she was made of glass. Gone was the gruff, heavy-handed General O'Neill, and in his place was her tender, sweet Jack. Sitting there, in the briefing room, remembering all she had lost, she'd actually begun to feel ill. Now, of course, she understood the physical reaction.

And here she was. Back to the one thing she'd been skirting since she'd gotten home. She was pregnant. With Jack's baby. He had stated his intentions toward the child with no room for uncertainty. He would be part of his child's life. And, as such, he would be part of hers. But not once had Jack made any indication that he wanted more from her than a mother for his baby.

Sam had no idea what she was going to do about any of it. She was too exhausted, emotionally and physically, to dwell on it tonight. She knew she should get to bed, but she allowed herself the luxury of just resting her eyes for a moment…

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An incessant pounding woke Sam from a deep slumber. Forcing her eyes open, she realized she was asleep on her living room sofa and that someone was knocking on her front door. Glancing at the clock on the wall, she was surprised to see that it was only 9 pm. It felt like she had been asleep for days, but had actually only been a few hours.

Rising painfully from her awkward position, she shuffled to the door. Glancing out the front window onto her porch, Sam froze. It was Pete. And he was carrying a huge, colorful bouquet of flowers.

Steeling herself, Sam opened the door. Seeing his bright, cheerful smile just about did her in. She wanted to sit down on the steps and weep. Mostly, though, she wanted to avoid the conversation that was about to take place. And she knew without a doubt that it had to take place.

Seeing the grim look on her face, Pete's expression slowly changed from cheer to concern. "Hey, baby, what's wrong?" He took a step toward her and placed a light kiss on her lips. Handing her the flowers, he said, "I was in the neighborhood, when I saw this lovely bouquet. It reminded me of you, so I thought you should have it."

Sam took the sweet-smelling blossoms and motioned for him to come inside. "Pete, they're beautiful. Why don't you have a seat while I put them in some water?"

"Sure thing, gorgeous." Pete winked at her. Looking supremely confident, he walked into her living room and plunked down on the sofa. Sam moved quickly into the kitchen, trying to gather her thoughts while she fetched a vase for the flowers.

"Were you sleeping? You look beat." Pete's voice drifted in from the other room.

"Yeah, just took a little nap. It was a long day," she replied. She arranged the blossoms carefully until she realized she was just stalling for time. Taking a deep breath, she turned and strode purposefully into the living room.

As she appeared in the doorway, Pete smiled and patted the spot next to him on the couch. "Why don't you sit down and tell me about it?"

She did walk over to him, but instead of curling up beside him, she pulled up a chair opposite him and sat down so they could be face-to-face. Seeing the utter seriousness on her face, Pete's grin faded away. "Sam?"

She inhaled deeply, looked him square in the eye and spoke slowly. "I'm pregnant, Pete."

At first, his eyes only registered shock. "Pregnant? Wow." Then, slowly, a bright light of something pure and happy began to glow within them. "Sam, that's–"

Hating herself for having to do this, Sam pushed on. "It's not yours, Pete."

He looked as though he'd been punched in the gut. "What?" The word came out in a strangled gasp.

Trying to remain calm and matter-of-fact, Sam gently placed a hand on his before continuing. "I went on a diplomacy mission about four weeks ago. While I was there, I accidentally drank the traditional fertility beverage of the local people. The drink contained some very powerful drugs. Sort of like ecstasy, but with hormonal side-effects as well. In my drug-induced state, I…" she paused, searching for words. Not finding a delicate way to phrase it, she forged ahead as best she could. "I slept with someone. The drug seems to have induced fertility as well, because in spite of my birth-control pills, I'm pregnant." The raw betrayal in his eyes completely tore her up inside. Swallowing tears, she continued. "Pete, I'm so sorry! I know I should have told you right away, but I didn't want to hurt you over something that was so completely…" she stopped. She had been about to say "meaningless," but the word wouldn't come. She'd lied enough to him already. Instead, she finished, "irrelevant to real life." She squeezed his hand. "It was a mistake. One I never, ever, would have made if I'd been clear-headed. I care far too much about you to do that."

Pete just continued to stare at her. Looking almost resigned, he spoke dully. "Who was it?"

She should have known he'd ask. Frankly, she'd never gotten past her terror of explaining the pregnancy to think that far ahead. She shook her head. "It's really not important. He was just as much a victim of circumstances as I was. In fact–"

He interrupted. "Was it O'Neill?" Seeing guilt flash clearly in her eyes, he swore. "Dammit, Sam!" Ripping his hand away, he stood up and put several yards of distance between them.

"Pete, it wasn't like that–"

Staring numbly out the front window, he laughed humorlessly. "Sam, just save it." Slowly, he turned to look at her, anger and hurt emblazoned on his features. "If you had slept with anyone else – anyone – I could accept your explanation and forgive you. If it had been that Jackson guy, or that big, scary alien with the gold thing in his forehead, I could get past it. But, of course it wasn't either of them. It was him." Pete clenched his jaw so tightly that it cracked. "Sam, you and O'Neill have been sleeping with each other in the privacy of your own minds for years now. I never held it against you, because I knew it wasn't something you chose." He seemed to wilt a little. "You can't help who you love. And you had clearly accepted that he'd never love you back. At least not enough to give up his career. Sam, I thought you were over him. And maybe you were. But that's obviously not the case any longer." He began to pace. "I knew something was wrong. I could feel how distant you were. Never in a million years would I have guessed this…" He trailed off, looking defeated.

"You have to know, I didn't do this on purpose. I was literally out of my mind when it happened!" Sam felt anger bubble up inside her. The cosmic injustice of the situation was almost too much to bear. "I was committed to you one-hundred percent. I feel terrible about it, Pete, but I can't change what happened."

His head snapped up. "Don't even try to tell me you aren't responsible for this."

Sam rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Of course I'm responsible for it. I'm not trying to squirm out of accepting the blame. I just want you to know I would never have chosen this if I had been in any reasonable state of mind. Never."

Pete sank back down on the sofa, looking completely spent. "He doesn't love you like I do, Sam. I'd have given up my career for you in a heartbeat."

She sighed. "I wouldn't have let you, Pete. Any more than I'd have let him."

He looked away. Then, quietly, he asked, "Does he know about the baby?" Slowly, he turned back to her, awaiting a reply.

Sam just nodded.

"And is he going to stand by you through this?"

She nodded again.

He sighed. "Then I guess there's nothing more to say between us, Sam."

"Pete–"

"Samantha, don't. We all know who had your heart first. I just hope someday he deserves it." With that, he leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. "Take care, gorgeous."

And then he left.

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Sam woke up the next morning feeling dry-mouthed, gritty-eyed, and… nauseous. Swallowing, she tried taking deep, even breaths as she slowly rose from the bed. Remembering Dr. Brightman's advice, she tried to recall if she had any soda crackers in the house. Since she was pretty sure she did not, she decided to settle for dry toast instead.

Grabbing a comfortable terrycloth robe from the hook on the back of her door, she shrugged it on and wandered down to the kitchen. Two steps into the room, she stopped.

The large, festive bouquet of wildflowers seemed to mock her from its place on her countertop. She had totally forgotten about it the night before. Now it seemed to mock her.

Blinking back tears, she gently moved the flowers onto the kitchen table and proceeded to make herself toast. Maybe, if she was feeling up to it later, she'd bring the flowers to Janet's grave. No sense in wasting a perfectly good bouquet. On the other hand, there was simply no way she could stare at it every day until it wilted.

She tried not thinking about the flowers. As she ate her toast and, later, got dressed, she kept shoving the image of those flowers from her mind. Something about them really made her want to cry. The issue kept nagging at her, until she finally gave in and faced it.

It wasn't just the loss of Pete, she decided as she drove into the Cheyenne Mountain complex which housed the SGC. It was the loss of everything he represented. From now on, Sam pretty much guessed that her life was going to be free of flowers. It wasn't as though she got out enough to meet anyone, much less a man who would be willing to accept her with another man's child.

Feeling utterly depressed, Sam made her way to her office, situated deep in the underground complex. On her workbench was the metallic cylinder with the glowing crystal that they had retrieved from P3X-812. Glad that she at least had work to lose herself in, Sam walked to her desk to get a notebook and a pad of paper.

It was there she noticed something unusual. On the corner of her small filing cabinet, in a Styrofoam cup, was a single, small daisy. It was placed back far enough that the casual observer would never have even noticed its existence. Tucked under the cup was a small piece of white paper, folded in half.

Carefully picking up the slip of paper, she opened it and read the note inside.

Sam,

Smile. That's an order.

Jack

As she folded up the note and tucked it in her purse, Sam sincerely hoped nobody came into her office for a few minutes. She had no idea how she would have explained the tears running down her cheeks.