Hello. I am here, typing. YAY! This story is done, it's just a matter of getting it up. Mentally challenged peoples: I do NOT own Johnny, Rev. MEAT or anything else. All I own is a neat pebble I found at school, and I guess, technicly I stole that. So don't sue me. I love my pebble. MY PEBBLE DANGIT!!

The sirens were getting closer. I hoped I was far enough away from my little 'project' that they wouldn't notice me, but inside, I knew I wasn't. I looked around for somewhere to hide, anywhere. I was in the outer parts of town. While not having the stink of the city, they also lacked it's abundance of dark alleys.
I saw an abandoned house. It had nothing but dirt for a lawn, and the windows were boarded up. I don't think there was even any glass in the frames. I ran down the path, and kicked the door open. It offered almost no resistance. I ducked inside, and closed it behind me. The speeding police car saw none of this, and went right by. Somehow, they always did. I wondered if maybe that was a fault of Senor Diablo's.
To my surprise, I heard a sound from below me. It sounded like screaming. I bit my lip, and hoped the police cars were gone. I looked out from between two boards, and saw a few more go by. No such luck.
'Oh, isn't THIS interesting.' said a voice from behind me. I spun around, but I didn't see anything. Just a couch, a TV with bunny ears, and, for some reason, a table with a Bob's Burgur Boy statue.
'I'm the statue, just FYI.' said The burgur boy. 'call me Reverend MEAT"
"Um…Ok…Shoot. Now I've got THREE inanimate objects that talk to me. I'm so lucky"
'The luck is gonna end if you're not out of this house by the time Johnny comes back upstairs. He's really pissed off right now. Somebody spray painted his car.' "Ok…"
'They got caught doing it, though. That helped a lot"
Another scream came from downstairs. I looked outside. A steady stream of people came walking down the street to look at what the policemen were doing. Stupid civilians. I looked down at my blood-splattered shirt. I HAD picked the PERFECT day to wear green. Lime green. I liked this sweater, too. Ah, well.
'I liked that sweater, too.' Said Elijah. He was my little amethyst heart. I keep him in my pocket.
'It was worth it, though.' said Damon. He's a stuffed bear I keep in my backpack. 'That guy was a serious offender. He shouldn't have grabbed you.' "Yeah, I know. I just wish I had worn a different sweater"
The sounds of stomping came up the steps. I jumped to the doorway, stood there, where he couldn't see me. I pulled out my second-favorite knife, (the first was already dirty) and held it at the ready.
He had a knife, too. I didn't see it until he had already passed me, though. I silently cursed at not attacking when I was in the clear. Now he had the advantage. He seemed to know that there was someone up here. He looked around, and it took him three seconds to spot me. I had to admit, it would have taken me four.
"What the hell? How did you get in here"
"Um… The door"
"WHY"
"Because there's a LOT of police cars out of there. I'm not exactly in casual dress here." I held out my arms without lowering the knife. I took a second to realize that he had blood on him too.
He thought for a second. He made the wrong decision, and lunged at me. His knife was bigger, but I was faster. He missed, and almost went off balance. I took the opportunity to nick him in the shoulder. He gasped as blood rolled down his back. For a second, I wondered if maybe I hadn't cut him too deep, but he whipped around, and caught me in the side. Note to self: Bread knives HURT if they're sharp enough. I sunk to the floor, but I kept my eyes on him. He obviously though he had gotten me worse than he had. He turned, a fatal mistake, and I threw my knife. It landed between his two bottom ribs on the right side, and went in halfway to the hilt. I knew from experience that not many people recovered from an injury like that, unless they had immediate help. And I don't think help was coming. I grinned, and for a second, wondered if I would bleed to death before or after him. I didn't get to wonder long, because everything got kinda hazy, then went black. Around me, the Universe ceased to exist.
(I have never killed anyone in real life, and for this reason have NO IDEA whether or not this would kill you. So sue me. All you'll get is my pebble and a whole crapload of VOODOO EVIL!)