Disclaimer: Yada yada....see the first chapter.
Chapter 9
Sirius was about to have a mental breakdown. It was two days after his 'reprimand' from Remus and it was time for him to go see Harry. He had gotten no sleep the previous night yet felt insanely awake. 'Oh Merlin...what am I going to tell Harry? What if he doesn't even want to see me?' he questioned himself. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. "Now is as good as ever I suppose," he muttered out loud to himself.
Harry was feeling as nervous, if not more, as Sirius. Remus (as Professor Lupin made him promise to call him) came by that morning to let him know that Sirius would come by later for a visit. Harry had felt panic rise in him but Remus must have noticed this and promised Harry he would stay with him if he wanted. As good as that sounded, he didn't want to seem like a complete baby. So now it was just him waiting...Madame Pomfrey was in her office but that didn't really count. She soon joined him though with a potion in her hand.
"Mr. Potter, you really must calm down. All that fidgeting cannot be helping your body heal." He felt much better then he did when he arrived at Hogwarts a few days ago but still had some physical healing to do. People had left him alone about what had exactly happened, but with Sirius coming he knew that would soon change.
As Madame Pomfrey gave Harry a calming potion, Sirius stood outside the infirmary doors wishing he could have one himself. He took a deep breath and opened the doors quietly.
"Hey Harry," he said gently. Sirius saw Harry's body immediately tense up and cringed. 'Yep, definitely a bloody bastard there Padfoot,' he though grimly to himself. He realized he was still standing in front of the doors so he walked slowly over to the bed Harry was in. He looked for a chair and dragged it over next to the bed and sat in it.
"Hi," Harry said quietly, looking at his hands instead of up at Sirius. They sat in silence for what seemed like forever, with Harry keeping himself ready to defend his body, if need be.
Sirius finally blurted out," I'm sorry kiddo. I was a bloody bastard to you the other day. You can hex me into oblivion..hell I want you to!"
Harry jerked his head up and looked at Sirius. "Remus said the same thing," he whispered. He could tell Sirius was sincerely sorry but that didn't mean he could relax just yet. He might just be waiting to attack him with no warning. He was afraid to ask but did so anyways. "Why?"
Sirius knew that was coming but still wasn't sure what he was going to tell him. "Harry, I...I have something to tell you. Nobody knows of this except Dumbledore and after I tell you, I'm trusting you not to tell anybody. Also, please don't interrupt me, okay?" Harry just nodded, wondering what he was about to find out.
"This by no means excuses how I acted but hopefully it will help explain some." Sirius just hoped he would be able to make it through telling Harry this.
"I'm not really sure how to start so I'll just jump right into it. When I was a few years younger then you, I had a best friend named Katie. We lived two houses down from each other for almost our whole lives. We created some pretty big chaos in our time...some that could even rival that of the Mauraders. Just like you, I recieved my first Hogwarts letter when I was eleven. Katie was a witch but was only ten so she wouldn't be getting hers until the following year." Sirius had to stop for a moment to collect himself. "She was always getting 'mysterious' bruises and such but always claimed them on her being clumsy. I suspected that her dad did it but she denied it, obviously. The day before I left for Hogwarts she had bruises all over her. I finally called her on it because they were hand/fist shaped and her having no coordnation couldn't have done that. I made her promise to tell somebody since I couldn't be there to make sure nothing worse happened." Sirius's voice was now getting rough with held-in emotion. "She just joked about how she would be joining me the next year and we could raise all sorts of chaos on the school. There was no next year. Two weeks into the school year I found out she died. Her father had gotten drunk and beat her to death." No matter how hard he tried, tears were now rolling down his face. "When Remus and I found you...and then you claimed to be fine and didn't know what happened the other day, I just lost it I guess. I love you Harry and I'm just so scared...I don't want you to end up like Katie." Sirius was openly crying now and had his head in his hands.
Harry sat completely still in shock. 'Wow...' He had no idea what to say to Sirius. That definitely explained his behavior...he didn't feel as scared of him now. Not knowing what to say, he just tentavely reached his hand out and put it on Sirius shoulder and rubbed it some.
Sirius was trying to stop the tears but they kept coming. 'Oh Merlin...I hope Harry understands now...' He got his answer when he felt a hand gently land on his shoulder and rub it a little. He felt relief fall over him. He looked up, trying to wipe all the tears away with his hands. Harry was looking at him with understanding in his eyes. "Oh Harry...I'm so sorry for the way I acted."
"I understand...if I was in your shoes I probably would've acted the same way," Harry said, looking into Sirius's eyes, letting him know he meant it. "I forgive you."
Sirius stood up and pulled Harry into a big, yet gentle, hug. He felt Harry's body stiffen at first but then relaxed into the hug. "I love you too Padfoot," he whispered.
Unknown to them, Dumbledore stood outside the infirmary doors watching the two. He knew this was something that they both needed and would be on their way to healing. He smiled to himself and set off to his office, hopefully to finish something that would bring even more healing to the two.
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Okay, Sorry it took me awhile to update this. I had some major writers block that kept showing up. Wasn't too sure how to end it, so once again lol, sorry if the end sucks. Oh! And it's not beta'd cause I just typed up most of this and wanted to go ahead and post it. Hope you enjoyed it!
Chapter 9
Sirius was about to have a mental breakdown. It was two days after his 'reprimand' from Remus and it was time for him to go see Harry. He had gotten no sleep the previous night yet felt insanely awake. 'Oh Merlin...what am I going to tell Harry? What if he doesn't even want to see me?' he questioned himself. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. "Now is as good as ever I suppose," he muttered out loud to himself.
Harry was feeling as nervous, if not more, as Sirius. Remus (as Professor Lupin made him promise to call him) came by that morning to let him know that Sirius would come by later for a visit. Harry had felt panic rise in him but Remus must have noticed this and promised Harry he would stay with him if he wanted. As good as that sounded, he didn't want to seem like a complete baby. So now it was just him waiting...Madame Pomfrey was in her office but that didn't really count. She soon joined him though with a potion in her hand.
"Mr. Potter, you really must calm down. All that fidgeting cannot be helping your body heal." He felt much better then he did when he arrived at Hogwarts a few days ago but still had some physical healing to do. People had left him alone about what had exactly happened, but with Sirius coming he knew that would soon change.
As Madame Pomfrey gave Harry a calming potion, Sirius stood outside the infirmary doors wishing he could have one himself. He took a deep breath and opened the doors quietly.
"Hey Harry," he said gently. Sirius saw Harry's body immediately tense up and cringed. 'Yep, definitely a bloody bastard there Padfoot,' he though grimly to himself. He realized he was still standing in front of the doors so he walked slowly over to the bed Harry was in. He looked for a chair and dragged it over next to the bed and sat in it.
"Hi," Harry said quietly, looking at his hands instead of up at Sirius. They sat in silence for what seemed like forever, with Harry keeping himself ready to defend his body, if need be.
Sirius finally blurted out," I'm sorry kiddo. I was a bloody bastard to you the other day. You can hex me into oblivion..hell I want you to!"
Harry jerked his head up and looked at Sirius. "Remus said the same thing," he whispered. He could tell Sirius was sincerely sorry but that didn't mean he could relax just yet. He might just be waiting to attack him with no warning. He was afraid to ask but did so anyways. "Why?"
Sirius knew that was coming but still wasn't sure what he was going to tell him. "Harry, I...I have something to tell you. Nobody knows of this except Dumbledore and after I tell you, I'm trusting you not to tell anybody. Also, please don't interrupt me, okay?" Harry just nodded, wondering what he was about to find out.
"This by no means excuses how I acted but hopefully it will help explain some." Sirius just hoped he would be able to make it through telling Harry this.
"I'm not really sure how to start so I'll just jump right into it. When I was a few years younger then you, I had a best friend named Katie. We lived two houses down from each other for almost our whole lives. We created some pretty big chaos in our time...some that could even rival that of the Mauraders. Just like you, I recieved my first Hogwarts letter when I was eleven. Katie was a witch but was only ten so she wouldn't be getting hers until the following year." Sirius had to stop for a moment to collect himself. "She was always getting 'mysterious' bruises and such but always claimed them on her being clumsy. I suspected that her dad did it but she denied it, obviously. The day before I left for Hogwarts she had bruises all over her. I finally called her on it because they were hand/fist shaped and her having no coordnation couldn't have done that. I made her promise to tell somebody since I couldn't be there to make sure nothing worse happened." Sirius's voice was now getting rough with held-in emotion. "She just joked about how she would be joining me the next year and we could raise all sorts of chaos on the school. There was no next year. Two weeks into the school year I found out she died. Her father had gotten drunk and beat her to death." No matter how hard he tried, tears were now rolling down his face. "When Remus and I found you...and then you claimed to be fine and didn't know what happened the other day, I just lost it I guess. I love you Harry and I'm just so scared...I don't want you to end up like Katie." Sirius was openly crying now and had his head in his hands.
Harry sat completely still in shock. 'Wow...' He had no idea what to say to Sirius. That definitely explained his behavior...he didn't feel as scared of him now. Not knowing what to say, he just tentavely reached his hand out and put it on Sirius shoulder and rubbed it some.
Sirius was trying to stop the tears but they kept coming. 'Oh Merlin...I hope Harry understands now...' He got his answer when he felt a hand gently land on his shoulder and rub it a little. He felt relief fall over him. He looked up, trying to wipe all the tears away with his hands. Harry was looking at him with understanding in his eyes. "Oh Harry...I'm so sorry for the way I acted."
"I understand...if I was in your shoes I probably would've acted the same way," Harry said, looking into Sirius's eyes, letting him know he meant it. "I forgive you."
Sirius stood up and pulled Harry into a big, yet gentle, hug. He felt Harry's body stiffen at first but then relaxed into the hug. "I love you too Padfoot," he whispered.
Unknown to them, Dumbledore stood outside the infirmary doors watching the two. He knew this was something that they both needed and would be on their way to healing. He smiled to himself and set off to his office, hopefully to finish something that would bring even more healing to the two.
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Okay, Sorry it took me awhile to update this. I had some major writers block that kept showing up. Wasn't too sure how to end it, so once again lol, sorry if the end sucks. Oh! And it's not beta'd cause I just typed up most of this and wanted to go ahead and post it. Hope you enjoyed it!