Summary:

The Iscariot and Hellsing are forced to spend Christmas together to help further goodwill between the two organizations. The most classic of fanfic plot devices get their own story in this silly extra multi pairing fic.

Genre: Humor/"romance"/parody. To be taken with a pinch of holiday cheer.

Warnings: This fic should be fairly light on spoilers (mangaverse) and just about everything else. So PG-13 will most likely do to cover my wandering mind.

A.N on pairings: This is my attempt to do something totally original and wacky. The first few chapters will be our "set-up" of sorts, but the endings it what should really make it shine. Yes I said endings. This story has a ton of extra endings planned for most every possible outcome. If there is a pairing you would like to see get an ending (romantic or not) just suggest it in a review! I'm goin' all out for this.

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Integra sat at her desk, chewing angrily on her cigar as she stared at the memo sitting on her desk.

-

Dear Sir Integra Wingates Hellsing,

It has come to our attention that the hostile "incidents" between the Hellsing organization and the Vatican's Section XIII Iscariot have been on the rise of late.

In these times it has been agreed upon that these two like minded institutes should start to settle their differences and learn to co-operate together.

In the spirit of the season we have sent a formal request for the Iscariot to pay a visit this Christmas to Hellsing in the interest of improving relations. The Pope graciously accepted and has since informed the members of Iscariot of their invitation.

We would like you to know this is not merely a request, but an order that your groups get along with each other for the entirety of December twenty-fourth and twenty-fifth. Please begin making arrangements for the Iscariot's stay as soon as possible.

Happy Holidays,

Elizabeth Alexandra Mary II - Queen of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland

-

Integra read over the letter for a third time, her knuckles beginning to turn white as the corners of the paper crinkled under the pressure of her grip.

She closed her eyes, forcing herself to lay the document on her desk before taking a few deep breaths.

"Walter!" she shouted in a tone that clearly indicated the Hellsing heir's state or ire.

The aged butler was almost instantly poking his head through the door, quite used to being on call for whatever his lady needed.

"Do you need something Sir Integra?" he asked with the slightest tinge of humor in his voice that made it quite obvious he knew what this was about.

"Are you aware of her majesties' request for this holiday season?" Integra asked, taking a calming drag off her cigar.

"Ah yes, I take it you mean the little get together she plans for us to have?" he asked casually, ignoring with practiced ease Integra's barely suppressed fury.

"Yes Walter, that one." her eyes twitched slightly, "I take it you can take care of the preparations?" Integra was not a social creature by nature, and the last thing she needed weighing on her already full load was the task of planning a "party".

"I've already started making arrangements," he assured her. It had been a long time since

Hellsing had done much to celebrate Christmas, and he was quite happy at the prospect; even if they were to spend it with Iscariot. But when life gives you lemons...

"Good." she said simply, shuffling a stack of papers from one side of her desk to the other. Even with her more than capable manservant on the job, the thought Christmas with that warthog did not exactly sound like her idea of fun.

"What would you like to do with Sir Alucard?" Walter asked casually, that hint of mirth back in his voice.

Integra arched one eyebrow as she thought about it. God knows what would happen if they tried to put Alucard in close proximity with any member of section XIII and told them to play nice.

The corner of her mouth twisted up as she considered her options. At the very least his presence would keep Iscariot's young leader in check. She resisted the urge to tent her fingers and cackle as she wondered how much she could allow Alucard to threaten him, but still keep it in the boundaries of their forced truce.

"Oh I don't know. Get him a Santa hat and make him and Seras help you with the decorations. I'll make sure he behaves." she almost laughed at the thought, thinking this would be a nice opportunity to torture her servant as well.

"As you wish Sir Integra," he said with a slight bow before taking his leave. His mind was busy with thoughts of the things he could do to make this gathering a success. The one thing for sure was that one way or another, this was going to be one hell of a Christmas.

"You weren't serious about the Santa hat, where you master?" Alucard asked playfully as he slipped through the wall to her right.

Integra's smirk found its way back to her lips "You keep eavesdropping and I might be."

The vampire's mind whirled busily, wicked possibilities filling his head. "Does this mean the Judas priest is going to be here?" he asked with barely contained glee at the prospect.

She glanced at the letter; it said the Iscariot organization, which meant all of them presumably.

"I believe it does, which means you are going to have to control yourself." she said in a voice that promised dark things if he didn't.

"Yes master. I promise there will be no maiming done by me during your gathering." he said with an exaggerated bow. There were still plenty of things he could do that didn't involve too much overt violence.

"Although I can't promise the same from him!" he said with a dark cackle as he phased back through the wall. God he loved Christmas.

"Alucard," the blonde growled as she stamped her cigar out in her crystal ashtray. The thought of the barmy priest and either of her pets near him did not bode well at all. Poor Seras would likely be frightened to death.

With another tiny growl she shook her head and attempted to turn her attention back to the stack of documents on her desk. God she hated Christmas.

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Drop me a review and tell me what you thought of this start. And again I say, if there is anything you want to see in this story, just ask!