Brian's POV

Those Kind of Smiles

A knock at the door pulled me out of my thoughts as I gazed unseeingly at the ceiling. I half hoped it would be Angela while the other half never wanted to see her again. I mean she knew I wrote that letter, knew I told him what to say, and what does she do…nothing. She knows my feelings straight out and she does nothing. I can't believe her. I just can't believe her.

But I was relieved when I got to the door that it was Rickie and not Angela. "Oh, hey Rickie."

"Hey," he shifted uncomfortable on the door step. There was a long moment of silence where I just watched him fidget. "Um…may I…ya know…come in?"

"Oh…yeah…of course. Sorry. Please come in." I stood aside as he came inside, then shut and locked the door behind him.

"No, I'm the one who should apologize. I know this is a weird time to come over."

"Huh." I looked at the clock on the wall and noticed for the first time it was nearly 11:00. "Oh yeah. What are you doing anyways?"

He looked a little uncomfortable but finally said. "Can I stay here tonight?" I raised an eyebrow and he quickly continues. "It's just that…well…I was staying at Angela's for the weekend, you know to give Mr. Kaminski and his partner some private time, and well Jordan came over…and…yeah." He ended very nervously, looking around and refusing eye contact.

I could see what he was hinting at and, like him, I felt my cheeks blush a little. "She'd do that? With her parents home?"

"Well…" he said still blushing a little, "her parents aren't really home. They're at a resort, spa, type thing. But yeah, they like, do it now." He must have seen my face fall because his face took on a hint of sympathy. "Sorry."

I shrugged it away. "I don't care. Why should I care?" He gave me a look that showed he didn't believe my words. "Really. Why should I care about her? It's not like she ever cared about me."

He only smiled at me. One of those smile where you don't know what they are thinking or what it's suppose to mean. I hate those kind of smiles.

"Have you ever kissed a guy?" I could tell my question shocked him as his head shot up and looked at me, his eyes wide and cheeks a clear pink.

"What?" I repeated my question in a causal voice. "Well…no…n-never." I shrugged and went back to staring at the ceiling.

We both were now in my room, talking occasionally but mainly just relaxing. I had brought blankets out of a closet and laid them on the floor in a make-shift bed where Rickie seemed more then satisfied. "Why?" came his question after a few minutes.

I look over at him to see his eyes where closed and his face directed toward the ceiling. Total peace shown on his face and had he not just asked a question I might have thought he was already asleep. Not caring that he couldn't see me, I shrugged. "Just wondering. Wondered if it was different than kissing a girl."

In one flowing move he sat up and spun so that he faced me. "Then my input wouldn't do much good. I've never kissed either."

"I kissed a girl once." I commented, sort of off handed, closing my eyes. It was a girl named Nicole, who was the daughter of my mother's friend and attended my Bar Mitzvah. She took me aside and kissed me before running off and giggling with her friends. She didn't speak to me again and moved shortly after because of her father's job transfer.

"Oh, really?" I could guess from his voice he didn't know what I was leading to. And I guess I wasn't really leading to anything.

"But I've never kissed a guy so…" I trailed off and ended the sentence with a shrug.

I heard ruffling beside me as Rickie moved. Paying it no mind I was a little startled when I felt a pressure change as he sat on the bed. I was about to ask if something was wrong when I felt a pressure on my lips as he covered mine.

My eyes shot open. At first I was too shocked to move, then I found that I wasn't pushing away because it wasn't really all that bad. After a second I was actually surprised to fine myself responding. We were both clumsy and it was apparent it was our first time kissing a guy, or in Rickie's case anyone. But I don't think my kiss with Nicole really counted when compared to this one.

My kiss with Nicole was quick peck on the lips. This kiss with Rickie was so much more intense. When I started to respond Rickie's tongue licked my bottom lip and then he started to nip and suck on it. I gasped in surprise, which seemed to have been what Rickie was going for, as his tongue found its way into my mouth. In response to the coaxing and rubbing his tongue inflicted on mine I also dared to explore, leading to my tongue in his mouth.

His hands had made their way to my neck and hair. While one was tangling itself in my hair the other was giving a miniature neck rub. All in all it was getting harder and harder to tell this was his first kiss. Meanwhile my hand remained motionless by my side.

Soon enough, too soon in my opinion, we both became aware of the lack of oxygen to the lungs and we both broke away. Neither of us said anything for a while and I could tell Rickie was getting a little nervous. He was looking down at his hand, which he was wringing in his lap. "So…" he said eventually.

"Wow," was all I could manage but apparently it was enough to satisfy Rickie; who as a response to my lack of proper speech ability started to chuckle and smiled brightly. "Where did you learn," I didn't know what to call it so settled with, "that?"

Now the other boy was blushing, rather profusely at that. "Well, I didn't want to be completely in the dark when I met someone so…I just kinda…well you know…read up on some…techniques…and stuff." Now it was my turn to laugh, which caused Rickie's blush to grow deeper, if that was even possible.

"So…um…is it different?" he stuttered, clearly trying to change the topic.

"Huh."

"Is kissing a guy different from kissing a girl?" His blush was lessening slightly.

I smiled shyly as I responded. "If I say I don't have enough information to answer that question will you show me some other stuff you read?"

As Rickie leans toward me he smiles. One of those smiles where you don't know what they are thinking or what it's suppose to mean. I love those kind of smiles.

LF: There we go. This site needed a My-So-Called-Life slash fanfic. -beams with pride-

Bakura: You know you're going to get flamed for this story right?

LF: Hell yeah. But they're reviews so that's okay.

Bakura: -sighs- I don't get you at all.

LF: You are not the only one. I promise you. I'm sure half of these readers think I'm nuts.

Bakura: I can't argure that.