I do not own Twilight
Warning: angst, brief references to prostitution, references to suicide and references to character deaths.
Jasper
What am I doing walking down this street? I know that Alice has gone hunting with Rosalie and asked for some time to herself. While it isn't uncommon, it usually means she needs to talk to them without me. I'm always worried when that happens. I love her with my entire heart, so the idea that I could have done something wrong is intolerable.
It has taken time, but over the last five years, the family has finally started to recover from the events in Forks. Unsurprisingly, it's taken Edward the longest. The first year everyone was a wreck. All of us expected to return within weeks, so we were reluctant to settle properly. It soon became apparent that we were here for the long run. After that, everyone started to relax, and return to life as we previously knew it.
That was part of the reason we had gone away for a while. Alice, Emmett, Rosalie, and I decided to spend three months travelling and having some fun. We didn't have any commitments, and it was nice to enjoy the world without needing to think about anything else.
We were moving around together but spending time mostly in couples. It's refreshing to have some privacy. However normal the listening ears are, we always take the opportunity to be alone together. Alice loved travelling around America visiting the sights. It didn't matter how many times I showed her, she looked at them as though it was the first time she had ever seen them. I suspected that part of the joy I felt was forced for my benefit, but I bathed in it anyway.
Her emotions are something I could spend forever in. She radiates such bright and refreshing emotions that I often find myself lost in them. I smile to myself remembering her delight at seeing Chinese Gardens earlier today.
Thinking about her reminds me of the fact she is gone. Emmett may have been happy to chill in a hotel with the TV, but I've grown too restless. Deciding a walk is a good bet, I ended up here. No aim, just killing time until Alice comes back.
Somehow, I managed to end up in the darker part of Portland. I'm considering heading back when I hear a cry.
Before meeting Bella, I never would have considered getting involved. Humans would be humans, what was the point of saving one when they'd just go on and hurt another? Now, I stop.
I listen closer for a moment, trying to identify the source of the sound. It's faint, but I can locate it. Backtracking on myself, I head down an alley.
"I said no," a sickly female voice says.
"Come on, honey, you served the other guy. I'll give you extra." This voice is sickening. I'm close enough to get a feel for the emotions, and it's gut wrenching. Lust, determination, and greed. They roll off him in strong waves that make me want to vomit, if I could.
"Please, not today. Go around the corner. There's plenty of other girls there you can choose from." The voice is croaky, muffled. There's a slight rasp to each word that sounds painful. Whoever this is, they are clearly in a bad way. Should I really get involved? It's just a human. I don't need to be getting myself dragged into some mess involving police and witnesses.
I'm about to walk away when I notice the emotions, or lack thereof. They're completely blank. No, not blank, numb.
That decides it for me. I need to help this person. I know that numbness, having to face a world so horrific and brutal that you bury everything deep, deep inside, switching yourself off from reality to save yourself from atrocities you're facing and forced to participate in.
"Awe, but I want your pretty face. I love your… innocence."
"I'm far from innocent, sir, as you well know." Why is she being so polite to him? She's said no, and from the feelings I sense, he isn't backing away. I'm not far away, but there are too many witnesses to move faster.
"I remember well." His voice is laced with malice. "Just a quickie. I know you need the money." He's teasing her. What happened to the days when men were raised to respect women? To treat them like they're royalty, and the most precious being on the planet?
"She said no, sir," I say clearly into the darkness. I know he hears me; I see him flinch. "I think you should bid her goodnight and be on your way."
I can't see the woman he's talking to; she's hidden in an alcove under bundles of blankets. The odour is overpowering. She's clearly homeless; the stench of body odour, urine, and trash gives her away, but underneath, there is something I recognise. I can't quite place it.
There isn't time for that now. I need to get rid of this man, preferably without killing him.
"Oh yeh, and what you gonna do bout it, fancy boy?" He's squaring up to me, trying to intimidate me. Unfortunately for him, he is picking a fight with the wrong man.
Sending out a small wave of fear, I say, "I'm not going to do anything unless I need to. My suggestion to leave still stands."
"Now, I'm not after no trouble. I was just talking to the slu… lady." How disgusting. Does he really only see her as an object for pleasure?
"Good day." I throw a little more fear towards him. He looks like he is going to wet himself at the idea of coming closer to me, so I step back slightly to allow him clear passage.
I watch him leave, feeling satisfied.
"You didn't need to do that," the small voice says. It's weary. Broken.
"My pleasure ma'am." I allow a small amount of my southern drawl to come through. It's something that I know the ladies love and find reassuring.
What do I do now? Something about her prevents me from wanting to leave. It's like I'm meant to be here, meant to do something. I wish Alice were here, but knowing her, she's already seen this. It could be the reason she went off alone.
"Just leave me alone." Her voice is cold and detached. My charm didn't work? Was she too far gone to save?
I edge closer, hoping to get a glance at the woman. I'm successful, but I wish I wasn't.
Buried beneath a mountain of ragged blankets is an ashen white, heart-shaped face. The once beautiful long brown hair now lays limply around her face. It's greasy and matted, generally uncared for. Looking closer at her face, I see bruises in various states of healing. What strikes me the hardest are her eyes. They're completely empty.
"Bella?" I whisper.
She can't be here. What could have happened in five years to land her somewhere like this? I can't help but wonder if this was my fault.
"Does it matter?" she snaps. "Just leave me alone."
She's starting to shiver. Her cheeks are sunken and flushed, clashing sharply with the sickly white of her face. The illness is clear, but I am unable to identify what it is.
Shrugging off my jacket, I offer it to her. She just looks at me with a pointed stare. Hoping she doesn't stop me, I gently place it on top of the blanket pile, hoping it will help in some way. I sit down next to her in the small alcove.
"Of course it matters!" She's avoiding looking at me now. "What happened?"
She laughs slightly. "Wouldn't you like to know."
"I would. Would you tell me?"
I wait patiently, but receive no response.
"Can I at least get you something? Some food? Something hot to drink?" I pause for a moment, wondering if I should continue. "I'm worried."
Again, a small laugh. "I'm fine, thank you. Just leave me alone."
It's then that the problem occurs to me. Last time I'd seen her, I'd taken a snap at her. She wouldn't want me anywhere near her.
"Emmett's not far, I can call him if you prefer…"
She interrupts me with a sharp, "No."
At least it isn't just me. Besides, I don't feel any fear coming from her.
"Did you know that man?" I ask, trying to get any response.
She sighs loudly. "You could say that. Seriously, just go away and forget you ever saw me." I know from her tone she is deadly serious.
"Can you even look me in the face and assure me that you are alright?" She turns her head further away from me, fixing her stare on a nearby rock. "Let me help?"
"Help! You want to help!" She snaps her head up to glare at me. "I don't need any more help from your kind." I notice her jump as she realises what she has said; clearly, she hadn't intended to tell me that much.
I don't say anything. With any luck, she will start rambling excuses, which will lead to more information. I can wait. I really hope her body can, too.
I'm in luck, and a few moments later I hear a sniff. She's crying. I brush a small amount of comfort towards her, encouraging her.
"She killed them all. I lost everything." Tears flowed freely down her face. "Victoria. She picked my family off one by one. Ripping everything from me. Started with Charlie. Made it seem like something to do with work, but I knew better. There wasn't another logical reason why he would have been drained of blood at a spotless crime scene. Renee wanted me to go home, but there were only a few weeks left until graduation. Those weeks were hard. I spent most of my time with the pack. I assume you know about the wolves?"
She looks at me, so I nodded in affirmation. "Well, there's a new pack, Jake's.. He helped me so much that year. Both when you guys left, and then when I lost Charlie. I was safe from her on the res, or so we thought, so I spent as much time there as I could. Jake and I got closer. What started as a brotherly relationship, soon developed into something more…"
She trails off, obviously caught up in a memory. I'm horrified that we were the reason she lost her father. I said Victoria needed dealing with at the time, but I was overruled. Edward hunted her for a while, but his tracking skills are beyond useless. It hadn't even occurred to me to help. He wasn't in a good head space at the time, and I'd just been grateful for a break from his self-pitying emotions.
"Sorry. Well, we started officially dating about a year after you left. I didn't have enough money to go away to college, and after pretty much flunking that last year, my chances of getting in were slim anyway. One day the new chief came to visit me. He had news that Renee and Phil were found dead. Their car had gone off a bridge not far from home. My world broke and Jake yet again spent months rebuilding it. I knew it was getting more serious between us. To be honest, it scared me to death. I pushed him away, but he was unrelenting. Steadfast through it all.
"Two years after you left, we started discussing the future, our options. I knew he had a ring; I'd already found it when I was doing it laundry one day. I was almost happy. The proposal was beautiful. Small, intimate, me. Marriage wasn't something I'd ever seen in my future, but it seemed like the next logical move. It wasn't. Jake imprinted. A split second, and I was dismissed. Thrown in the trash.
"I'd sold Charlie's house long before, so I had no where to go. All of my savings had been stupidly joined with his we were working towards our own house. Anyway, Seth found out what happened, and offered for me to stay with him for a while. I felt weird being on the reservation. Being around Jake and Sophie. I was pregnant."
I snapped my head towards her. She had been pregnant! Bella had a child.
"It was Leah who figured it out. Damn shared mind meant I couldn't even sneak away. Being a descendant of the pack, I knew I'd never be allowed to raise her away from the reservation. I also knew that I couldn't stay.
"The next seven months were torture. I told no one of my plan. I'd decided that once the child was born, I'd leave her with Jake and Sophie. I'm not mother material. She'd be loved, cared for, wanted. I didn't know if I would even be able to look at her without my heart breaking at what I'd lost. Two weeks after she was born, I took what little I could fit in my truck and left in the middle of the night.
"I found an apartment and a job here in Portland. If they looked for me, I never saw them. Didn't see any missing notifications or anything else. That hurt bad. I'd been forgotten. I missed my daughter. Every day I fought the urge to go back and claim her as my own. I just couldn't go crawling back to a man who would only ever see me as burden.
"It wasn't long before Victoria caught up with me again. She tortured me for days. I begged her to just kill me, but she wouldn't. I'll spare you the details. She left me in a street near my apartment. I could only watch as she set fire to the building. I was hurt, alone, and with nothing but the rags I was wearing. I couldn't afford medical care.
"Someone helped me, I don't know who. I'm sure you must be disgusted by me, by what you heard, but it isn't easy. I have to find a way."
"You could never disgust me," I say firmly. "I'm horrified, not by you, but by the way you've been treated. I'm amazed at your strength, your courage, your fight. You are an incredible woman, Bella."
She's only now realised she's crying. A thin,filthy hand snakes its way from beneath the bundle and scrubs at her face.
"Anyway." Her cold tone is back. "Thank you for the company. I'd like to sleep now."
The story and emotions must have exhausted her. I can see her eyelids are starting to droop.
"Do you really expect me to leave you here? To leave you alone like this? Let us help you. Please." I know I'm begging, but I can't leave her here like this. Not when it's practically our fault she's in this mess.
"Yes, I do. Goodbye Jasper."
Her eyes close.