Knox looked down and gazed adoringly in to Chris's eyes. She was playing with the buttons on his shirt he was running his fingers through her soft blonde hair, twirling the pieces at the base of her neck around his fingers. They were sitting on her parents couch, wrapped in a blanket in front of a roaring fireplace.

Knox began to massage Chris's neck and she giggled, kissing him lightly on the stomach.

"I missed you."

"I missed you too, babe. It's so horrible that we have to be away from each other for so long. Did you talk to your parents about letting you move back?"

"Yeah, but you know how they are. They're still so mad at me for embarrassing them in front of the Danbury's. I tried to ask but they said no. You know how they are. The only thing that matters to them is saving face. At least with me out of their hair, they can claim that the problem is being solved."

"I know, I know. And there's nothing you can do, but I still miss you like crazy!"

"I know. I miss you too, Knoxy. I really do."

Chris reached up and kissed him gently on the neck. He lifted her chin to his and kissed her gently on the mouth. He pulled away and smiled. She was so beautiful. Her hair shimmered in the firelight and reminded him of the way the early morning sun would bounce off of Charlie's wet hair after an early crew practice. Knox sat up straighter and shook his head slightly. He had to quit thinking of Charlie. He couldn't stand it anymore. For the past couple of weeks, everything Knox thought about he related, in some way, to Charlie. Knox stared off in to space, trying hard not to think of how much Chris's house reminded him of Charlie's. He was trying so hard to keep Charlie out of his mind that he completely missed Chris sliding her hand in to Knox's pants.

Knox smiled slightly and moaned. He stared at the fire and leaned his head back. He felt himself grow hard and he moaned louder. In between moans he would whisper to himself, things that he only dared tell himself when he knew his door was locked.

"Ohm....mmmm...oh fuck...mmm....oh yeeeaahhh...mmm...Chaaarlieee ...mm....ohh Charlie, just like that...mmmm yeah...just like that baby..."

He felt his body as he tense as he came with a small scream. He drew his eyes away from the fire and looked at Chris, smiling.

"Thanks baby. That was great."

Chris just looked at him. He could see that she was upset. Knox was puzzled and racked his brain trying to figure out what he could have done to make her go from smiling to being on the verge of tears. He slid toward her on the couch, moving his arms to embrace her. Chris jumped up and walked backwards towards the wall. The tears were pouring down her face now, and Knox stood up, walking toward her slowly.

"Chris...baby...what's the matter," he moved toward her slowly, trying again to slid his arms around her waist and embrace her.

"Don't touch me. You...you QUEER!"

Chris turned and ran down the short hall to the bathroom. Knox heard the door slam and felt himself slide down to the floor. He hung his head in his hands and sobbed. He knew that Chris was upset. She had every right to be upset. He had just dropped quite a bombshell on her. He hadn't actually planned on telling her or anything. It had just happened. Of course, if Knox could have taken back everything he had said in his moment of bliss, he would. But he couldn't and now he had bigger problems than regret to fry. He stood up and walked slowly to the bathroom.

He knocked on the door tentatively, hearing Chris crying inside, "Chris...we need to talk. There's something I need to tell you..."

He set his head against the door and took a deep breath. When the door opened, Knox couldn't bear to look at Chris and see her red-rimmed eyes, even though he could hear her sniffles. She didn't say anything to him, she just sat back down on the toilet lid and continued crying in to her hands. Knox crossed to the bathtub edge across from the toilet and looked at the floor, which he now found surprisingly interesting.

"Look, Chris, I know what you're thinking. And I know what you're feeling."

"No, you don't."

Knox looked at her to see her eyes flash with hate, a hate he had never seen before.

"Alright, I don't. But I promise you that I didn't want to hurt you Chris. I would never want to hurt you. I love you."

"Don't tell me you love me! You don't love me! If you loved me you never would have said someone else's name while I was...well, you know. And you never would have said a GUYS name, that's for sure. If you loved me, you would have left me alone to be with Chet. Because of you I had to move 300 miles away! I had to leave my family, my friends, everything I love, all because you told me you love me! But you don't love me! You're a...a...a queer!"

"NO! I'm not. I mean, I am...I don't know Chris. I don't have any answers. I don't know anything anymore. But I am still sure that I love you, that I love kissing you, being with you, seeing you smile and laugh, and I wouldn't ever want to hurt you...especially like this."

"Well Knox, you did. As much as you didn't want to you did. You hurt me a lot. Knox...leave. Please. I don't want you here now."

Knox looked up at her to see if she was serious. She looked back at him, the hate in her eyes replaced with a stony indifference, a look that put more pain in his heart than any look of hate ever could. He nodded and stood up slowly. Before he left the bathroom, he looked back at her.

"I'll write you. I still love you, Chris...I'll always love you."

"No Knox. I don't want to hear from you. Just go. Just go and...and leave me alone. Please."

Knox nodded again, realizing that this was the end for him and Chris. He walked across the living room, which was beginning to grow cold as the fire dwindled to embers. He grabbed his coat, and saw the newest poem he had written to her fall out of his coat pocket. He picked it up and turned it over in his hands. He placed it on the coffee table in front of small vase of flowers and turned to leave. He truged up the stairs with a drooped head, his hands shoved deep in to his coat pockets. He peddled his bike home quickly and went straight t bed, ignoring the anxious and curious looks of his friends.

Knox knew that he shouldn't be home yet. Usually when Chris was in town, Knox was out all night, sneaking back in to his room at all hours of the morning. Which is why his classmates were so surprised to see him getting ready for bed at nine o clock. Knox brushed his teeth quickly but wasn't able to get rid of the bitter taste in his mouth. As he wrapped himself in his comforter, he noticed the moon falling on his face and he turned to look at it. The moon beams hit his face directly and he smiled slightly at the comfort he found in its slivery, watery light. He felt himself drift uncomfortably off in to a sleep that he knew wouldn't last.

After about an hour, Knox woke with a start. He didn't open his eyes, because he felt that he was being watched. He lay in his bed, still as he had been sleeping when he felt a warm breath on his forehead and then, even more surprisingly, two soft lips on his forehead. It took all the strength he could muster not to open his eyes. He heard soft footsteps retreat toward the door and he cracked his eyes enough to see the siouhetted frame of Charlie Dalton out of his room. Knox's eyes widened and he rolled over, facing the wall, confusion and false hopes soaring thourhg his brain. But, as much as he tried to stop it, sleep over took him before he had time to sort out that nights events.

Chris oepend the bathroom door slowly, making sure her face was clean and her hair was in place. She entered the dark, cold basement and sat down on the couch, staring at the now ashy fireplace. She noticed a small envelope on the coffee table in front of her and she switched on the table lamp. She picked up the envelope and noticed his fmialiar hadwriting. With shaky hands she opened the unsealed envelope and withdrew the thin notebook paper. She unfolded it slowly and felt the tears run cool down her flushed, hot cheeks. She began to read words that were once beautiful but now meant nothing but lies and deception.

Chris
My love
My angel
Love of my life
and heart of my soul
My one my everything
Blessed with your laughter
as frail as the tinkling of sliver bells
Graced with your radiant smile
beautiful as the dew
on the early morning grass
To know you
To touch you
To be in your arms again
Brings to me a joy
I have never known before
And though we may be seperated
know that forever shall you be
kept inside my heart.

Chris brought her legs to her chest and sobbedd in to her knees, the thin notebook paper crumpled in a small ball in her hand. She threw the ball across the living room and lay down on the couch slowly, wrapping herself in a blanket and drawing it over her head, sobbing until she had no more tears to cry.