A/n: You know something is wrong when I'm up and posting this at 3:30 AM lol. Long story short, I got heavily blindsided by something on the personal front this week, and on top of it with the stress over what's going to happen to the Pokemon anime, I've just been in an awful head space.
Which is why I want to apologize, because I don't think that this is written well. I wanted this fic to be perfect, but for now whatever I could manage in this week is being posted and I can only hope it's half decent.
This fic is set roughly four years after G-rev, my own assumption is that all of G-rev happens during a summer vacation, possibly the one after Tyson and Hilary would have started middle school. Fast forward four years and they're starting the second year of high school. It's going to be told (I think) entirely from Hilary's perspective, so if Tyson feels OOC it's because she doesn't know what's going on in his head, and it will just be filled with a lot of typical teenage angst and misunderstandings.
1 – Bittersweet Spring
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Hilary watched with groggy eyes, as a lone cherry blossom petal floated down from above and attached itself to her window, reminding her that school started again today and she could not afford to waste another minute in bed. She willed herself to crawl out of the blanket, surprised by how heavy her body felt, hoping that she hadn't fallen sick, having never missed the first day of school before. There wasn't much left to do as she had already packed her bag and ironed her uniform the night before, and after washing up, she felt more awake and energetic, ready to start the new school year on a hopefully bright note.
Once she had put on her uniform, Hilary stared at her reflection in a full-length mirror standing tall next to her closet. And that heavy feeling from earlier returned, only this time, it settled in her chest.
Just a week ago, she had spent a day shortening the hem of her uniform skirt, which was against the rules and not exactly Hilary's style either, but being the only girl who wore the uniform correctly for an entire year had not been an experience she'd enjoyed, so she was ready to do whatever it would take to not stand out in the crowd in the coming year. Now that she had finally worn the shortened skirt, however, Hilary knew that this look didn't suit her, that it seemed obvious she was trying to be like everyone else, and that some might even see it as her trying too hard.
But it was already too late to fix the mishap.
She stood in front of the mirror for quite a while, first playing with the hem of her skirt, pulling at it in feeble attempts to get it to return to its original length, then consoling herself that no one would notice the change because she would be blending in with the rest of the girls anyway. Next, she tied up her hair in a high ponytail, before letting it fall back down below her shoulders again, repeating the same process several times with different hairstyles until she was ready to pull all of her hair out in frustration.
No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't make her reflection in the mirror turn into a Hilary she could confidently walk out of her room as.
She couldn't even remember where she had gone wrong.
How she looked when she stepped out of the house was something that had never seemed to bother Hilary as a child. Sure she enjoyed shopping for new clothes and throwing a cute look together as much as any other girl, but it had never mattered to her how other people would see her, as long as she was happy with her clothes and hair, nothing else could come in her way. Until suddenly she was older, and could finally hear the whispers behind her back, or could tell what was hidden behind all those polite smiles that were sent her way. It became more and more difficult for to shut her surroundings out and before she knew it, she found herself worrying about whether a certain hairstyle would make her seem like she was trying too hard to be noticed, or another one might make it seem like she wasn't trying hard enough.
Ever since she started high school she was easily caught up in thoughts like, which didn't really make the thought of waking up for school every morning very enjoyable.
But new school year, new Hilary.
That's the motto she had decided to follow from today so when her mother's voice floated into her room, telling her that she was getting late, Hilary hurriedly ran a brush through her thick brown hair, letting them fall freely past her shoulders and rushed downstairs to get breakfast. Her mother may have sensed her nerves getting worse as the first day of school edged closer because their dining table was decked with all the dishes that Hilary liked. Graciously thanking her mother for reminding her of the time and for the delicious food, she sat down and picked out the strawberry cream sandwiches, deciding it was far too soon for her to start worrying as it was just the first day after all. A new class would mean some shuffling, and possibly some new faces, all she had to do was watch all the other girls in her class carefully today and adopt a new strategy that would help her fit in with them from tomorrow.
As relieved as she felt, Hilary was still late and could barely get through one sandwich when the chiming of their living room clock reminded her that she had to leave now or she would be at risk of being labelled tardy. Wishing her parents a good day, she threw on a coat before rushing out of the house.
She ran as fast as she could, praying internally that Tyson would be late, as always, to their meeting spot too.
They met up every morning at a street near her house, and then took the bus together to school. The public school the two of them had chosen to attend was in a different ward, which made it impossible for them to walk every morning as they had done up until middle school. Kenny had managed to place first in the entrance exam for a private school which was closer to their homes and had received a scholarship that covered the school's expensive fees. Hilary knew her parents would've preferred for her to attend a school closer to home, and she would have been able to snag a scholarship for it like Kenny too, but Tyson had decided that he didn't want to bother his father over school fees and had stuck with the more affordable option, making it easier for her to make the choice as well.
Of course, when people asked her why she didn't choose the more elite option, Hilary just stuttered and diverted the conversation, because how was she supposed to admit the truth out loud? The truth, that she was afraid of losing the only common ground that kept her and Tyson stable together. Which didn't necessarily mean that Tyson and Kenny were no longer friends, or that he didn't stay in touch with the rest of the BBA team, in fact, she was sure that he was closer with any of the other boys, even Daichi than he was with her and that's exactly why she needed something to hold the two of them together. She needed an excuse to see him every day, a way to make sure that even without tournaments to win or a team to manage, they could still spend time with each other.
And time with him was all she needed to feel better about herself, the minute her eyes found him standing outside their go-to bakery, eyeing the morning menu displayed through the window with contemplation, all the doubt and insecurity disappeared from her mind and a smile appeared on her face out of habit. She picked up her pace, realising that he hadn't noticed her yet because of the large headphones he had on, which were probably blasting some ear-deafening music. She walked up to him and lightly tapped his shoulder.
Tyson turned, removing the headphones from above his ears and letting them hang around his neck, and sure enough, she could hear the loud sounds of a guitar riff, definitely not the kind of song she would pick to listen to so early in the morning.
"Good morning." Hilary greeted him, with her usual smile, bracing herself for whatever quip he would throw her way for being a little late.
But when Tyson looked at her, his curious eyes fell immediately towards her skirt and he looked taken aback by the sudden lack of its length. Hilary flushed under his stare, she would've been able to handle him chiding her for being late, but she was sure that if he made a joke about her uniform, she'd burst out of embarrassment on spot. To her surprise, however, when Tyson met her gaze again, he didn't make fun of her attempt to follow the unspoken standards of uniform set by the girls in their school, instead, he stared at her in disappointment which somehow made her feel infinitely worse.
"G'Morning." He replied without his usual enthusiasm and started to walk in the direction of the bus stop.
Hilary would have preferred his teasing, she would have been able to tolerate it if he pointed at her and laughed, but she couldn't bear letting him down, which she had because that's what the look in his dark eyes and the tone of his voice had conveyed, that he had thought she was better than all of this.
As she watched him get further away, Hilary managed to remind herself that she was doing this for herself and not for Tyson's approval, though his acceptance was something she would have gladly welcomed. After all, in the end that was all she wanted, to be accepted by the people around her, and in this case by her fellow classmates. Even if Tyson did think that what she was doing was superficial or unlike her, eventually he too would understand her reasons for behaving this way. Telling herself that if she was going to succeed at making more friends in school this year, she couldn't allow herself to get so easily affected by Tyson's reactions. Shaking her head to clear her mind, Hilary ran forward briskly, catching up with the navy haired boy in no time.
"Sorry, did you have to wait too long?" she asked him as soon as she was at his side, in hopes that the two could fall into their usual pattern of conversation.
"Just about five minutes," he said, eyebrows raised in surprised over how quickly she had swept his reaction from earlier under the rug. Maybe he wasn't in the mood to pick a fight so early in the morning either, because it was her turn to be surprised when his face lit up with humour as he smirked at her, "But possibly the longest five minutes of my life."
"Says the person who made me wait for forty-two minutes at the cinemas last week." Hilary scoffed but was still unable to stop the relieved smile from taking over her face. She knew that at some point, she would have to explain what she was feeling to Tyson, and it might lead to an argument, but for now, she was content with them playing out their daily routine of being themselves.
"And yet, we didn't miss a single commercial or trailer." Tyson reminded her, puffing out his chest proudly in an overdramatic gesture.
"We're not supposed to miss those, they're the best part!"
"The movie is clearly the best part, you're so weird, Hils-"
His laugh was cut short when they turned a corner and watched the bus they were supposed to get on depart from the stop not too far away from them. It was futile to run and attempt to catch it now but the two tried anyway, groaning in unison when they reached the stop and the bus had pretty much disappeared from sight.
"The next one doesn't arrive for another twenty minutes," Tyson said, checking the timetable displayed at the stop, adding in a decisive tone that she found hard to argue with, "we're going to have to take the train."
"No, Tyson, anything but the train!" Hilary whined, trying to avoid his advance by taking a few steps back but he somehow managed to grab onto her wrist and dragged her along with him towards the direction of the train station.
She hated taking the train so early in the morning, it was always crowded with more people than the compartments could fit and it made her feel weirdly claustrophobic. Hilary's aversion to the morning rush hour was why the two always took the bus, it was slower in comparison and that's why their mornings were built around a strict, timely routine that she had somehow managed to mess up today. Not one thing had gone her way this morning and Hilary was starting to dread whether all of this was just a sign of the terrible year that awaited her ahead.
"Should've thought about that before making us late, your highness," Tyson called out to her, as he tugged at her hand, possibly in an attempt to get her to stay focused on her surroundings.
While she did have the perfect response for him, it died in her throat when she saw the throng of people ahead of them thundering down the steps that led to the station in unison, mostly adults in suits with some uniformed students scattered here and there. They could still turn back, she thought, maybe her father wouldn't mind driving them to school if she threw a tantrum, but Tyson's grip on her wrist was too strong for her to wiggle out of, making her feet shuffle hurriedly to match his pace as he marched ahead.
Even as they fell into step with the rest of the people entering the station and passed through the entry gates, Tyson did not let go of her wrist, which Hilary thought was odd. Did he really think that she was not capable of navigating through the platform on her own, or that she would turn on her heels and exit the station to avoid getting on the train, or maybe he had simply forgotten that he was holding onto her, it was always hard to tell what was going on in his head these days and even more so with his back turned to her. Just a few minutes later, however, she was grateful for his hold because Hilary would not have managed to enter the train on her own once she saw the crowd move forward. But Tyson not only got them on the train, he somehow manoeuvred through the minimal space that was available inside the compartment to get them to stand in a spot which was right in front of a row of occupied seats.
He let go of her hand as he passed her a smug smile, proud of himself for saving them from being late on the first day, and Hilary had no choice but to appreciate his efforts with a nod of approval. She made to pull out the novel that she was currently reading out of her bag but Tyson nudged her and shook his head, sending a warning look in her direction. She just shrugged in response and pulled out the book anyway, how else was she supposed to spend the next thirty minutes on the train, it's not like she carried her MP3 player around everywhere like him. Besides just because she didn't like travelling on the train in the mornings, didn't mean that she never took the train, she was capable of reading her book and keeping her footing stable at the same time.
Just as Hilary opened her book to the page where the bookmark was tucked in, the train swerved a little roughly, knocking her off balance.
Her hands moved on their own, one slipping into Tyson's and grasping it tightly so she could steady herself, as the other one held onto the book so that it wouldn't fall onto someone's head. Her ears turned red as a few eyes landed on her, reminding her strongly of her hatred for crowded trains once again, a slight slip in her footing and she was at risk of being a nuisance to ten other people, only if Tyson hadn't been standing next to her. He took off his headphones and glanced at her, strengthening his hold on her hand and pulling her closer, so she could fully lean onto him for support.
"I told you to put the book away." He murmured quietly over her head.
Hilary raised her head to face him, fixing him with a defensive glare before she replied in the same hushed tone, "We wouldn't need to take the train if you only had-"
But Tyson didn't bother to wait for her to finish speaking and promptly put on his headphones, shutting out any argument she would have made for herself, rolling her eyes at his behaviour and seeing that some people were still eyeing her suspiciously, Hilary decided not to take the conversation further for now and closed her eyes as she allowed her head to rest against Tyson's shoulder. If she strained her ears hard enough, she could hear the tunes of the song that he was listening to faintly, and while their tastes in music still differed greatly, trying to make sense of the lyrics kept her mind occupied and away from thoughts about all the bodies that were pressed tightly together around her in this small compartment.
The comfortable rhythm was broken a few minutes later when the next station was announced and the humdrum compartment came alive with people pushing their way towards the doors. She was lucky that she was still holding onto Tyson's hand, otherwise with her eyes shut she would have missed the two people who were sitting in front of them vacating their seats. Tyson and her didn't waste a second in moving forward and grabbing the empty seats, a relieved sigh escaping both their lips as they settled down.
Hilary's repose only lasted about a minute, as she very embarrassingly realised that with the shortened hemline of her skirt, when she sat down it rode up more than usual, showing more skin than she was usually comfortable showing, especially while sitting in crowded trains. She hoped that her flushed face didn't make her discomfort too obvious as she placed her bag on her lap to cover up as much as possible. She was taken aback when Tyson dangled his own bag in front of her legs, shielding them from any and all unwanted gazes. It was a sweet gesture, one that made her want to throw her arms around his neck and hold onto him until the end of time, but since she lacked the courage to do so, Hilary just nudged his shoulder gently with her own and mouthed a quiet thank you, to which Tyson responded with an over-the-top imitation of the shrug she had sent his way when he'd warned her about reading while standing. Knowing that he did that to lighten the situation and not make her worry too much, Hilary was still slightly disheartened by him ruining a rare, tender moment between them.
After checking that their school was still a few stations away, Hilary happily opened the book from before, only to hear Tyson snicker next to her.
"What else am I supposed to do?" she whispered, turning her head to face him, "We still have six more stations to go, and you're not exactly providing me with any scintillating conversation." She defended herself, shooting a pointed look at the headphones hanging around his neck.
"Well sorry about that, Hils." Tyson replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm as he added, "It's completely my fault that I don't have a life update for you in the ten hours that have passed since we spoke on the phone last night."
They really did spend all their time together, Hilary realised and saw that Tyson did too, as his cocoa eyes softened when they landed on her, making her heart beat faster.
"I don't even remember the last time we were in different classes," he said.
"I don't think we ever have been."
"Never say never." He laughed loudly, earning a glare from almost every person in their vicinity, her own heart sinking at his words.
It was a joke, Hilary reassured herself, it meant nothing. Of course, Tyson wouldn't want to be in a different class from her, who would help him stay awake in class or remind him about all the homework that was due, who would make sure that he didn't forget his class duties or cover up for him when he was asked a question he didn't know the answer to? She knew that Tyson understood she could pick up after him in a way that nobody else could, so he had to understand that he needed her just as much as she needed him, right? She felt her eyes water, and it took her all her self-restraint to blink back the tears threatening to fall, disappointed in herself for reacting so strongly over something that Tyson had clearly said without thinking.
"Relax, Hilary." He must have noticed the change in her mood too, his voice was gentle when he spoke but she could sense a hint of nervousness in it too, as if he knew that he'd said something he shouldn't have, "Jeez, I was just kidding, no need to get all sentimental on me."
She decided not to respond to him, she wasn't confident about keeping her feelings in check and speaking only as much was required at the moment. The silence that settled between them was unlike the one they were used to, it was awkward and tense and it put both of them on edge. For the rest of the ride, she could feel Tyson fidgeting and often shaking his leg, which got on her nerves and only made her mood turn from bad to worse. She couldn't wait to get off the train and breathe in the fresh spring air filled with the scent of the cherry blossoms that would help soothe her mind so she could forget all about what Tyson had said, and somehow still secure a good start to her year.
Tyson on the other hand, wanting to make up for the slip-up earlier, talked constantly from the moment they exited the train, which made it difficult for Hilary to concentrate on emptying her mind of any confusing and gloomy thoughts. She regretted not being honest with him about how nervous she had felt about starting school this year, maybe if she would have explained her fear of not being able to make new friends this year beforehand, he wouldn't have looked so disappointed by her change in uniform or made this offhand joke. Even though she was annoyed at him for talking so much, she knew she was more at fault than him, for keeping him in the dark in the first place.
She just needed some time, to collect her thoughts well, and Hilary thought that the school day that lay ahead of her would be perfect for that. She'd try to find time in between classes to scribble down her thoughts coherently and approach Tyson with them at the end of the day. In his own odd way, he had a knack for understanding these things better than she did, so even if she didn't explain everything in vivid detail, he would still catch onto the bigger picture.
By the time their school came into sight, Hilary had already regained her confidence about starting the day on a good note. The entrance was crowded with the first year students getting photos clicked with their parents next to the welcome banner, the scene bought a smile to her face when she remembered how Grandpa had forced her and Tyson to take one together last year, she had never seen herself or him look so stiff in a photo before. They navigated their way around the enthusiastic parents and embarrassed first years until finally, the notice board set up outside the building entrance came into view, a lot of their classmates from the previous year were still hanging around it and when they saw Tyson and Hilary, they came forward to greet them and engage in the usual small talk.
What Tyson had said earlier, was just a joke, Hilary knew that and she was sure that he did too, yet when the two pushed themselves through the crowd of students to get to the front to look at the new class lists, she felt Tyson mirroring the tenseness that had taken her over as well.
It was a joke, not a prediction, she reminded herself as her eyes began to scan the second year class lists with a sense of urgency. Next to her, Tyson suddenly inhaled sharply, indicating that he had found his name, so Hilary turned her own attention towards the list he was reading, but once her eyes had gone up and down it twice, she realised that her name was not on it. She went back to the first list again, and sure enough, towards the end, she found her name.
Her fists curled tightly at her sides as she attempted to control all the emotions inside her that wanted to break free in the moment.
This was not Tyson's fault, it was just a stroke of bad luck.
Hilary understood that and still, she found herself turning to look him in the eye, her voice shaking with remorse that should not have been directed towards Tyson, "Are you happy now?"
She shouldn't have said that because Tyson looked just as lost and disheartened as she felt. She hated herself for blaming him and knew that eventually, he would hate her for it too. Maybe that's why she didn't bother to wait for him to respond, leaving the notice board in a daze as her mind tried to console her that all she had to do was make new friends, and then she wouldn't feel alone at all. But it was a difficult thought to come to terms with, especially when she entered her new classroom and noticed that the groups had already been formed, the conversations were already flowing and there was no opening left for her to slip right in. She took her assigned seat in a corner, her eyes drifting towards the window as she tried to tune out the chatter that surrounded her. The lone cherry blossom tree in the courtyard caught her attention, most of its flowers had wilted and lay beneath it in a pink, lumpy pile. Only one blossom was still holding onto the tree's thin branch and she realised that she was much like that flower, while everyone else around her had taken the plunge into something new, she was still clinging onto a hope that would no longer bear any fruit.
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A/n: Not my best work for these two, I know T.T But yeah, let me know what you thought.
In Japan people are very silent on the trains (imagine the amount of culture shock I experienced when I answered a call and talked loudly when I first went there lol) so that's why the train scene has fewer dialogues.
And things will only get fluffy around Chapter 4-ish, so if you want, you can wait out the updates and read it in one go at the end of the month. Now I'm gonna go sleep, hopefully tomorrow I'll feel better enough to work on the next chapter.