Monique turned the corner in to the cave, sighing when she the dim outline of Todd's body. She had been looking every where for him. She had tried his room, Knox's room, Charlie's room, the cafeteria, and the library before making up her mind that the only place left for her to go was to the cave. And there he was. She walked in, the leaved crunched underfoot, brown and dying. She walked farther in to the cave, and Todd still didn't turn around, but she expected that. She knew him, knew how hurt he was. So she took a deep breath and opened her mouth to explain everything.

"Todd, I'm so sorry. I never meant for you to find out like that. I know there's nothing I can say to make things any better. I know what I did has hurt you more than anything, and I'm so sorry for that. But know that I still love you. What has happened with me and Jeffrey- it wasn't planned, it wasn't hoped for; it wasn't what I meant to happen. It just...did. He came up one weekend, asked me for where you were, we got to talking and the rest...well, you know. Things happen. And I know that this apology won't make what I did okay. And I know it won't take away your pain. Nothing can do that."

"That's where you're wrong, Monique," Todd's voice was whisper thin, lost of all emotion. It was at that very moment that Todd turned around and faced Monique, his eyes rimmed in red, tears streaming down his face and the blood poured from his wrists, trickling down his arms, forming a small brown pool in his lap. Monique gasped in shock, reaching out, trying to stop the bleeding. But it was too late, and they both knew it. "What you did killed me inside. My own...my own," Todd's voice grew weaker as his face grew whiter and whiter with each second that passed. He began to cough and shiver, and his grasp on the small letter in his hand became so weak that it tumbled to the ground. Monique bent down to pick it up, and when she sat back up, Todd's eyes were closed. She knew what had happened.

Monique placed her head on Todd's shoulders, taking one of his blood stained hands in hers. It felt the same. It wasn't cold yet, and it still felt as rough as ever. Monique almost dared to smile, her mind drifting back to times when she had wanted more than anything to have this hand in hers. But she had brought all of this on herself, and, more tragically, on Todd, and as that thought crossed her mind, an extreme sense of guilt filled her heart. She knew that this was her responsibility. She knew that she could hurt him. She knew that she would hurt him if she had done what she did. And she had done it anyway. She turned the blood stained letter over in her hands, a sob racking her body when she saw her name on the front fold. No envelope, no lined paper. The note was written on the back of some flyer for a chemistry club, and it was written with a dull pencil, the writing already beginning to fade. She unfolded the paper and began to read, her own tears mixing with the blood and tears that were already on the page.

Monique-

I won't ask how, or why, or when. I have a feeling that I don't want to know. All I know is that, as much as I hate you right now – and believe me when I say that it quite a lot – I sill love you with all of my heart, at least what is left of it. Monique, we'd talked so many time, about so many things. You were the only person who knew how I couldn't sleep, how I cried all the time, and about how much a truly missed Neil. You were the only person, and you remain the only person to this day. And you knew how I felt about my brother- about how much I've hated him for as long as I've been old enough to know what hate was. How my father ignored me because of Jeffrey, and how much he's always been what I never could be. And you always told me that you knew that I was the better brother, that I had what Jeffrey never could. And then...and then you did the one thing that could take my heart and smash it in to even more pieces than it was when Neil died. But you know what, that's okay now, because at least now I have a reason to do what I always wanted to do. If nothing else, you gave me a reason, an excuse, and that means more to me than you could possibly imagine. You did me more good than you could have intended to. Because now I don't have to hurt anymore. I don't have to be here, on this earth, where everything is cold and bitter and hurtful. For a brief moment in my life, the moment I kissed you to the first time, I began to think that this thought was wrong, and that everything could be different. It's only now that I see how wrong I am. I was right the first time, and I know that now. And so I'm saying goodbye and going to be in a place where there isn't any of this. And I'm glad. I get to be with Neil, at last, and with your brother. I get to be with all the people I ever loved, minus you, of course. Monique, I know you feel guilty. And you are, but I want you to forget about that. That's not what matters. What matters is that now I don't have to suffer anymore, and everything is going to be okay because of you. I don't have to hurt, you don't have to make a decision, and Jeffery finally gets everything he's ever wanted- to be an only child. All I want you to do is say a little prayer for me and tell Knox and Charlie that I'm sorry for this, and that I know how much this is going to hurt them. But I love them all the same, Pitts and Meeks as well. Just tell them that. And know that I'm sorry. Sorry for hurting you by doing this, sorry for making you choose, sorry for ever deciding to come to Wellton Preparatory School for Boy's.
Todd

Monique bent over the letter, sobs shaking her body. She cried for hours and hours. She cried while the sun set, and then when it rose again. She cried until the sun began to set the next day, and only when she felt as though she herself wanted to die did she lift her body off of the cold, hard ground and make her way back to the school. Her first job was to tell the office what she had seen, and having to go through every last detail – first to the administration and then to the police – simply brought even more tears to her eyes. But for her the hardest part was telling the rest of the boys. She walked up the stairs slowly, the letter in her hands. Giving them the letter was the only way she could think of to tell them the news that would ruin their lives. She knocked on Charlie's door and heaved a sigh of relief to see all four boys in the same room, hunched over their textbooks, an air of tension in the room. They all looked up simultaneously as she entered the room, smiling, but their faces fell when they saw her tear stained cheeks and the letter in her hand. Knox began to shake his head, the worry in his heart after not seeing Todd for a full two days finally reaching his heart. Monique simply lay the letter down on the table and turned, walking out, shutting the door behind her. Just as she reached the top of the stairs, she heard a sob echo out of the room, more sobs soon accompanying the first. Monique simply sank down to the top of the stairs, still hanging on to the banister. Jeffery came along some time later, embracing Monique in his arms, as she cried in to his shoulder for the first and only love she had ever lost.