Thousand Mile Wish
Inspired by Finger 11's song Thousand Mile Wish. See where I got the title? Original, eh? But yea, listen to it, it's awesome. Some of you may not see how they're similar. That's because you suck. I wasn't going to make this a story, but my sister nagged at me until I did. Enjoy. Or, like I say occasionally, don't, your choice.
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Chapter 1
It was often said amongst the student body that he was heartless. If that was true he must be imagining this sensation.
Pain ripped through him. His thought processes seemed to have sped up and stopped at the same time, creating a broken record of speeding words. He sat heavily in a soft, green chair. His favourite chair. Oddly, it offered no comfort at the moment. He stared at the fire, his face blank of emotion.
"Severus?" a voice asked shakily. So familiar, yet at the moment it was completely alien. Who was he really? And had Severus ever really known him?
"Severus," the voice said again. He'd thought he'd known him. "Severus." Desperately this time. "Gods, Severus, I'm so sorry. I'm so-"
"How long?" Severus Snape asked.
A long beat of silence. "Two months, about two months," he answered. His voice was still shaking. Good. Let him feel some pain too.
Severus swallowed thickly. "Why?" There was no quiver in his voice, no emotion on his face. He was completely numb. It wouldn't last.
"I don't know," he whispered. "I honestly don't know."
I don't need this now, thought Severus. I've got too much to do to deal with this too. OWLS and NEWTS were coming up. Odd how he cold think of such a mundane thing as this when his heart was being ripped apart. People are indeed curious things.
Severus took a deep breath through his nose. "Get out," he said, releasing it.
His head shot up and his neck cricked. "But Severus, we need to talk about this!" he said, sounding shocked.
"We have." Severus could feel the numbing effects of his initial shock wearing off. He leaned forward and put his face in his hands. Another breath. "Get-out."
"But-"
"Did I stutter?" Snape demanded, raising his head, all his pain and hurt etched in his eyes. "Get out, Lupin."
Remus' heart nearly stopped at the coldness in Severus' voice, at being called 'Lupin; for the first time in years. He swallowed the lump in his throat and rose, moving towards the door.
He stopped with his hand on the knob. "I'm sorry, Severus; I didn't mean for this to happen," he said, desperate to get these words out before their fate lines were ripped apart. "It just… did." He turned back towards Severus; still in the chair by the fire; still staring at him, each emotion visible, and each another stab at Remus' heart. "I'm sorry," he whispered, his voice shaking. "I… I love you…"
Severus put his face back into his hands. He wanted to believe that. Gods, how he wanted to believe it. "Leave," he managed to whisper around the lump in his throat. Remus didn't get it. Just go. Get out. What the hell is the matter with you?
As soon as the door closed behind Remus, Severus let down his walls. He raged at the stars outside the window, broke a lamp, smashed pictures of them.
Eventually he came down and fixed everything. He passed out on the couch; the same couch they'd had their first kiss on; the same couch that they'd made out on innumerable times; the same couch where Severus had finally opened up, shared his emotions and past. He slept, the scent of Remus' aftershave intoxicating his troubled dreams, comforting and painful. He slept.