Prologue

I never should have gone to that stupid party. My mother and father always said that parties were not good for young girls. It was distasteful and a bad image. Petunia, of course, carefully followed their rules and barely stepped out of the house. I had obeyed faithfully and gladly…up until now.

It wasn't that I was tricked into going. No one said, "Hey Lily, we're organizing a study group at James Potter's house." I knew it was a party, and I figured that I would go to keep them all in check. Plus, though I hated to admit, James Potter was growing up. He was actually supportive and mature when a Slytherin seventh-year dumped water on my head one morning. While many laughed, he covered me up with his cloak and escorted me to the Gryffindor common room so I could change. Granted, he performed the Bat Bogey Hex on the Slytherin later, but it was still a defining moment for him.

A tiny bit of Floo Powder was handed out to each of us at the end of term – except for me, though, being Muggle-born. I was given a Portkey in the shape of a locket. It would be activated on July 16 at nine p.m.

It surprised me when I began to panic about my makeup and outfit an hour before the party. I really hadn't cared before; I just dressed casually in Muggle jeans and a pink-and-blue striped blouse with very little makeup. To be on the safe side, I tied my hair up in a messy-looking ponytail.

When it was time, I paused only a moment before touching the Portkey. I was eager to go, which was both surprising and unnerving. Taking a deep breath, I reached for the locket.

James Potter's house was huge. I felt my jaw drop as I stared at my surroundings. I was in the front entry, with a huge empty room in front of me and the grand staircase behind. I guessed that we'd be dancing there. People were coming out the room on the left, rubbing soot off their outfits. I was slightly horrified to see most of them wearing robes while I wore Muggle clothes.

Slowly the grand room filled up. I could see people who would be going into seventh year, like I would, and I saw recent graduates from Hogwarts. There were also some people I didn't know…but, of course, James had more of a social life than I did.

"So, you made it!"

"Sirius Black!" I gasped, whipping around in surprise. There he stood: tall and handsome, rich, pureblooded Sirius Black. He was practically a brother to James. You barely ever saw them apart from each other. Though now, it seemed, he was by himself. "Where's James?"

"Aw, how cute. You're concerned about James!" he teased. I narrowed my eyes.

"No, I'm not. I just think it's odd that you're here and he's not. Is he planning some sort of prank, and you're here to distract me?"

Sirius looked puzzled. "No, he's not. He'd never do something like that to you, Evans. He's in love with you."

"In love? Please. He's just suffering from a boyhood crush. He'll grow out of it." I turned to look for James. There he was, in the center of the room, surrounded by people. I could see Peter Pettigrew behind him, listening to his every word. Remus Lupin was making his way toward them, holding drinks.

"Ah, getting out the punch already!" Sirius laughed, rubbing his hands together gleefully. "Come on Evans, let's introduce ourselves." He put his arm around my shoulders and led me toward the crowd.

"Remove the arm," I warned, but Sirius only winked.

"Make way!" he bellowed, and the crowd parted. Sirius stepped back then and gave a false little bow. "Your lady, Master Potter," he joked. I could feel my face turning red with embarrassment. Not wanting to further humiliate myself, I raised my chin and walked up to James.

"James Potter," I said, holding out my hand to shake his.

"Lily Evans," he said, and kissed it. I snatched it away, shocked. I could see him blushing. It was actually very satisfying to see him blush. His head was so inflated and his ego so large that to cause him embarrassment in any way was quite a feat. "I'm glad you could make it. Now," he grinned, "let's get this party started!"

The torches suddenly dimmed and the flames began to change colour. Music started blaring from somewhere overhead. All at once people began to grab partners and dance. Before James could even ask me, I headed over to the snack bar and poured myself some punch.

"Hello, Lily," came the quiet voice of Remus Lupin. I smiled and said hello back. Out of all the Marauders, Remus was the one I trusted and considered a friend. I admit I even had a crush on him for three years. "You might not want to drink that."

My hand froze, the goblet touching my lips. "Why not?"

"Well…I have a feeling Sirius has something planned."

"The old 'Spike the Punch' trick?"

"Probably. I doubt he'd do it when the party's just beginning though, so it's probably safe."

Cautiously, I took a sip of the punch. "It tastes fine," I said. "Smells normal, too."

Remus poured himself a cup a sniffed it. "Yes, it's fine." He took a sip, then looked over at me. "Lily…I think…there's something you should know." He looked uncomfortable and began to stare at the floor. "You see, James and Sirius aren't bad guys. Peter's pretty good too, once you get to know him. They're the best friends a guy could ask for…especially a guy like me."

"I never said that they're bad. But they can be so immature sometimes!"

"I know. But when the situation calls for it, they're all-work-no-play. Lily, what I mean is…oh, you really wouldn't understand unless you knew the circumstances…"

"Remus, I know that you're a werewolf," I said quietly. "I figured it out ages ago."

There was a long pause. "Oh," he finally said, taking another sip of punch. "Well, that's…good…I suppose…anyway. Do you know what they did when they found out?"

I shook my head, listening intently and putting my goblet down.

"They became Animagi."

"They DIDN'T!" I gasped, horrified. "But that's dangerous, and very advanced magic!"

"They all did it. They mastered it ages ago. But it was James's idea, you see. And they all did it so they could help me through the…the transformation."

"Wow…but Remus, what if one of you had gotten hurt?"

"There were a lot of near-misses. And probably a lot more to come."

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Because I know how much James cares about you. And I know that you hating him is killing him."

"I don't hate him, I just disapprove of some of his choices and actions. But I don't hate him."

Remus finished his punch and smiled at me. "Well, enough of this talk. Let's dance."

Remus and I danced for a couple songs, then went and sat down. About thirty seconds later, a girl came over and asked him to dance. At first he politely refused, but she wouldn't quit. Eventually he was dragged off.

"So Evans," Sirius said, sitting down in Remus's chair. His dance partner sat down on his lap and started playing with his hair. "Enjoying the party?"

"It's enjoyable."

"You can say that again. No Clara, not the hair. I'm just kidding! Mess it up all you want." His girlfriend giggled and ruffled it. "Danced much, Evans?"

"Yes, Remus and I were out there."

"I saw that."

"Then why'd you ask?"

"I wanted to know if you'd danced with James."

I made a face. "No, of course not! He's too busy with that Ravenclaw prefect." I looked for them to point them out to Sirius, but the Ravenclaw prefect was flirting with some older boy. "Or…he was…there he is, chatting with Peter."

"He'd like you to dance with him."

"I know that, Sirius Black."

"So why don't you?"

To be honest, I couldn't come up with a response. Sirius grinned knowingly and took his date onto the dance floor again. I stood up and got another goblet of punch.

"Hi," said a tall blonde boy across from me. He quite literally took my breath away. He was gorgeous, with stunning blue eyes and a little nose and tanned skin. He was a stereotypical Prince Charming. He couldn't possibly be real!

"Hi," I replied.

"I'm Derek," he said, reaching his hand across for me to shake.

"Lily." I shook his hand.

"Yeah, we all know who you are. James Potter's one-true-love."

"Well, that's not exactly—"

Derek laughed. "I know. You don't love him. Do you?"

"Oh no, of course not!"

Alright, I realize that I was being incredibly stupid. But all I wanted to do was flirt and dance with this boy. James Potter? Who was he?

We chatted for a bit, and I noticed his hand was covering mine. But it was so hard to care with a guy so lovely…

Pop!

"Oh, no!" I said, reaching for my fallen button. I smiled sheepishly and blushed, then looked around for the culprit. It didn't take long for me to spot Sirius laughing and tucking his wand back in his pocket. "Sirius Black, you arrogant little prat! I'm sorry, Derek, but I have to fix this…I'll be right back." I ran off in search of James, but couldn't find him through the mass of people.

"Looking for someone?" Remus asked.

"Yes," I replied thankfully, clutching my blouse together. "Yes, I'm looking for James. I need to fix my button. Sirius thought it would be funny if it suddenly popped off."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Yeah, that sounds like Sirius. Come on, I'll show you where his mother keeps her sewing supplies."

"How do you know where?"

"James sends me up there to get needles sometimes."

"Oh."

He led me up the stairs and into a dark room at the end of the hall. Lighting a torch, he opened a cabinet drawer and pulled out a needle and pink thread. "Um…I'll go find you a cloak or something…" I watched him while he searched. "So, are you having a good time?"

"Well, I was. I was talking to this guy named Derek when Sirius played his little prank."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I thought of asking him to dance, but then this happened."

"Probably for the best. The only Derek I know is a jerk."

"I don't think it's this Derek."

"Is he tall and blonde with a really dark tan and blue eyes?"

"Yes…but there are lots like that, aren't there?"

"Not with his personality."

"He seemed quite charming."

"Hah! You should chat with Sirius's new girlfriend sometime. She'll tell you all about Derek. Here," he said, handing me a cloak. He was carefully avoiding my eyes.

"Remus? Are you alright?" I asked. "You look pale."

"It's close to full moon. I'm feeling a bit peachy."

"Oh. Are you sure that's what it is?"

"Yes. Plus I think Sirius played with the punch a bit."

"Remus," I said quietly, "look at me."

"I can't." There was a hint of panic in his voice.

"Why?"

"Because if I do, I'll kiss you. I…I can't believe I'm about to say this, but lately I've developed these feelings for you and…well, if I did, I might as well stab a knife through James's heart. And I could never do that to James. Lily," he said, giving my hand a little squeeze, "I'm sorry."

"I understand." I took the cloak.

"He's a great guy," Remus said very quietly. I barely heard him. "I know you could grow to love him the way he loves you."

"Why does everyone say he loves me? It's only a crush."

"No, Lily." Remus finally looked at me, but his expression was almost…almost cold. It was very uncharacteristic of dear, sweet Remus Lupin. I listened intently to his words, almost afraid not to.

"It started out as a crush. Then in fifth year, when you got fed up with Gertrude Bulstrode and dueled her, he realized that he was in love with you. He never told Sirius and I. We knew from the way he talked about you. How his voice would get soft and his eyes would mist over. He'd smile a little and sigh, then stare off into space – or at you, if you were around. And all last year he tried to change his ways so that you'd like him. Remember how Sirius got thirty detentions and James only had twenty? That's because of you. Lily, he's in love with you."

I couldn't speak. Remus glanced at me once more and then left the room. I stood there, my mouth hanging open, clutching the cloak, needle and thread. I shook myself out of that state and began to fix my blouse.

By two in the morning, everyone had left the party with the exception of Sirius, Remus, Peter and I. I fingered my Portkey, waiting for it to activate. Ever since my conversation with Remus, I had stayed by the wall, thinking about James. Derek came over and asked me to dance, but I refused, saying that I was tired and a bit dizzy from the punch. Turns out Sirius did add a "special ingredient".

I saw James take the punch bowl into what I presumed was the kitchen. The other three were getting stuff off the walls. I followed James and saw Remus look over at me and nod.

"Hello, James," I said. He whirled around and blushed upon sighting me.

"Lily."

"I had a good time tonight."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. So, how'd you manage to convince your parents to let you throw a huge party like this?"

"They're in France on business. They said I could have a small party if I cleaned up after, rather than let the house elves do all the work. So, you had fun?"

"Yes. James, let me ask you something."

His eyes went wide with that deer-in-headlights expression. He gulped. "A-alright."

"You seemed really different last year. Like you'd decided to grow up. How come?"

"Well, I just decided it was time…you were right all along, I just needed to realize it…"

I hadn't realized that I'd moved closer until James took a step backwards. "I rather like the new James." I tried to shut myself up, but found I couldn't. I decided to blame the punch if it came to…that. "I could get used to him."

"Lily, I…look, there's something I have to tell you. It will only bring me further embarrassment later, but I can't hide it from you anymore. Lily, I'm in—"

"Shh," I said. "I know." And before I knew exactly what I was doing, I was leaning in to kiss James Potter. I felt our lips barely touch before the Portkey decided to activate and I fell flat on my face in my bedroom.

"Lily Evans, you twit!" I scolded myself. "You lost control! You let Remus's little tale get to you and look what happens! Oh, I never should have gone to that stupid party!"