Hurtful Memories
Rating just to be safe
Authors NoteTA DA! My first ever Fruits Basket fan fiction! And who better to write about then Hatori-san? Even though it is a sad angst-y fic about him and Kana…sniffles Akito WILL pay! gets duct tape, gas, and lighter Anyways, I hope this is good, I haven't written in ages cause I was 1.) Uninspired 2.) Out of ideas of what the heck to write, and 3.) way behind in school, and failing History severely (still am tee hee). So those are my lame excuses. Please forgive meh! This is a one-shot song fic, I'll quickly add.
Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket (Hatori, Shigure, Ayame, and Kana), Lucky Natsuki Takaya does. And also, I do not own the lyrics to the song "Missing", Evanescence does.
The song will be separated from the story with the sign (and in bold), and the memories will be separated from the present time by the - sign (andin italics)
On with the story!
Hatori sat on the cold bench deep within the park, sighing deeply. He took out a cigarette and lit it up.
'One of the main things that help me get through another day,' he thought, crossing his arms and leaning back into the bench. Lately, Hatori had been thinking about Kana, and it got him upset. She was his everything, and Akito took that away. That, and the sight from his left eye. Not to mention, his will to be happy. To sum things up, Akito took Hatori's life from him. The only things left were his job and Shigure and Ayame, his two best friends. However, Hatori only really blamed himself. He let Akito take those things away from him; he went along with the plan. In the end, of course, he only had regrets.
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
Maybe someday you'll look up,
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:
"Isn't something missing?"
You won't cry for my absence, I know –
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
Hatori sighed again, and let the cigarette smoke flow from his mouth and disappear into the wind. Kana flashed through his mind again, reminding him about an old memory.
-
Hatori and Kana were taking a break from their work outside by the garden. Kana was talking about how beautiful the flowers were, while Hatori started to light a cigarette.
"Hatori," Kana said, looking at him, surprised. "I didn't know you smoked!"
"I try not to smoke in front of others," he replied, putting his lighter away. "I couldn't help but light this one just once. If it bothers you, I will gladly put it out."
"No, no, it's not a bother," Kana said, giving him a small smile. "However, it really isn't good for you, you know."
"Yes, but I can't help it," Hatori said, blowing a small amount of smoke from his mouth. "I started in high school, and it's been hard to even think of quitting."
"You could try cutting down, maybe?" Kana suggested with a smile. "It's just, it could lead to early death. You should know that, Hatori, you are a doctor, aren't you?" She paused and laughed a little. "Or are you just pretending?" Another of Kana's common teasing. It always seemed to make Hatori smile.
"Yes, that's it," he said jokingly, while pulling out his wallet. "My real name is Hisho Watami and I secretly work for the FBI. See?" he flipped his wallet opened and showed, what he thought was, a picture of himself in a suit that would make anyone assume he was from the FBI. However, when Kana started laughing uncontrollably, he took a look at the picture. He saw a 5 year old Hatori wearing an embarrassing rabbit costume his mother had made him wear for Halloween.
'How the hell did this picture get in here?' he thought, irritated. Then he remembered. Earlier that day, Shigure was over at his house, and he was looking through Hatori's wallet, which caused Hatori to throw a book at him. Shigure must've switch picture or something while he wasn't watching.
"Idiot Shigure," Hatori muttered, while also starting to blush.
"Aw, such a cute little rabbit, Hatori!" Kana said, pinching his cheek. That only made him blush more. She kept commenting on the picture for a few more minutes, and then after her teasing was complete, they walked in silence. Which was good; it gave Hatori time to think.
"You know," he started after a while, "I think I'll cut down a little. Maybe I'll be able to stop at some point." He put out his cigarette and gave her one of his rare smiles.
"That would be nice," Kana said, smiling back.
-
If only Hatori had kept going with that. After Kana's memories were erased, he started smoking his regular amount, which was half a pack a day. Of course, feeling dreadfully alone, he started to smoke 1 pack. Not only did he give up, but he got worse.
'What's the use,' Hatori thought, staring up at the gray sky. 'It's no big deal anymore.'
A small kid ran happily along the side walk that was in front of Hatori, shortly followed by his parents. They all looked so happy and carefree. Sometime, he'd wonder what life would have been like if Kana didn't have her memories erased, and that they were actually allowed to be married. Hatori pictured a small girl that looked exactly like Kana, except with his eyes. That would never be, however. It was sometimes hard for Hatori to remind himself of that.
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
I breathe deep and cry out,
"Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?"
"Oh, Kana," Hatori said to himself. His eyes were starting to get a little watery. "I wish you were here with me. I want to see your smile. I want to hear your laugh. I want to tell you I love you, but, most of all, I want you to be happy." Maybe her memories' being erased wasn't all that bad. She didn't have to worry about the Zodiac Curse, and be in love with someone she can't even hold.
"Hatori?" someone called his name. He turned to see who it was, only to find Shigure and Ayame walking towards him.
"There you are, Tori-san!" Ayame said in his, what Hatori and Shigure like to call, hyper voice.
"Oh," Hatori replied, turning forward again. "It's just you two." He took the cigarette from his mouth to let the smoke flow out once again.
"What do you mean, 'oh'? Aren't you happy to see us, Haa-san?" Shigure asked, sitting next to him. Ayame sat on the other side of Hatori. "We are, indeed, the great Shigure and Ayame Sohma. Our presence should thrill you out of your shoes!" His joking wasn't amusing to Hatori. It never really was, actually, but especially not now.
"Whatever," Hatori replied in a dull voice as his eyes started to go into a daze. Both Shigure and Ayame noticed, and, somewhat, dropped their joking mood.
"Aw, what's wrong, Tori-san?" Ayame asked, resting his arm on Hatori's shoulder. When he didn't answer, Ayame shared a concerned look with Shigure, who started to come up with something to say.
"Is it about Kana?" he asked, in almost a whisper. Hatori looked over at Shigure, but didn't say anything. Of course, being friends with him almost all his life, he could tell it was indeed about her.
"Would you like to tell us what happened?" Shigure asked him in a calming voice. After 10 minutes of complete and utter silence (which was surprising, being that Ayame was there), Hatori was finally able to speak.
"I keep having flashbacks of her," he said, putting his cigarette out. "Sometimes even dreams." He paused for a few seconds before continuing. "I really miss her."
"It's alright to miss her, Hatori," Shigure said. "In fact, it's a good thing you do. Most people lose those kinds of feelings after things like that happen. You're lucky you haven't, you might've forgotten how to smile completely."
"I agree with you, Gure-san!" Ayame replied. "It also gives you more experience in life! Besides, you wanted her to be happy, right? From what I've seen, she is. Though I'm not denying she'd be happier with you. That would all be true if it was to have happened."
"I bet you most of her smiling is secretly cause by you, Haa-san," Shigure said, smiling mischievously. "Be happy that she's happy."
Hatori looked at both Shigure and Ayame. Though he hardly said it aloud, they really were good at cheering him up. 'I guess today's an exception,' Hatori thought.
"Thanks guys," he said, giving them both a small smile. "I feel a lot better now." Shigure and Ayame gave him a smile back, while also feeling like they made a huge accomplishment. Hatori rarely smiled since Kana was forced to forget about her relationship with him. Knowing they made him feel better, and even smile, made them feel better, as well.
And if I bleed, I'll bleed,
Knowing you don't care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
I'll wake without you there,
Isn't something missing?
"Why were you guys looking for me, anyways?" Hatori asked as the legendary Mabudachi Trio walked to his house.
"Ask Ayame, he's the one who dragged me along without even telling me why he was doing so," Shigure said, smiling.
"Oh, but it was for a good reason! We came because the great Ayame had a wonderful idea!" Ayame said dramatically.
"That is..?" Hatori asked, though he was quite sure he didn't want to know.
"We should all go to the Sohma summer house for a nice vacation! We could bring along Tohru, Yuki, and Kyonkichi as well! What a perfect opportunity to do some brotherly bonding with Yuki, too!" Ayame said gleefully. Hatori and Shigure looked at each other with blank stares.
"No," they both said, still heading towards Hatori's house.
"But," Ayame started to complain, "I have very good reasons other than those! I shall list all 30 of them!"
'This is going to be a long walk home,' Hatori thought, and he smiled to himself. He really did have great friends.
Author's Note- Well? How was it?? Good? Sorry if any of the characters were OOC, it's 3 in the morning and I dunno if I'm thinking clearly lol. Please review, I'd appreciate it!
P.S I WILL return to Harry Potter hopefully soon, just in case you were wondering! (Also will continue writing Fruits Basket )