Lord Wyldon's Karaoke Moment
A/N:
Thank you! ThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyouThankyou to all those people how reviewed! These are all the wonderful people who get cookies! : elemental-girl, Fauna Greywolf, Joren's Kel, Atlanta Enchanted and Jeweled Rose!
Cookies for you! –Throws cookies at randomly appearing fans-
Disclaimer:
A Suspicious-Looking Character, wearing the coolest pair of glasses you've ever seen (the kind with fake ears and a fake moustache attached) creeps into a big, darkened room filled with filing cabinets. She proceeds to take out a handy-dandy flashlight and peer at all the documents filed away. Suddenly, a magnificent person wearing a Super-Man costume flies into a randomly-appearing window, stopping in front of the Suspicious-Looking Character.
"All hail……the Tamora Pierce! And what do you think you are doing, Suspicious-Looking Character?"
Tamora Piece whips-off the Suspicious-Looking Character's Super-Cool Glasses.
"Ah-ha! It's HeartKel! Trying to steal Kel again, aren't you? AREN'T YOU?!?!"
"YES! MWAHHAHAHAH! I'm also going to steal my precious Dom, and Meat head, and Yuki, and…."
Two hours later, as police officials are carting up HeartKel into the back of their Super-Cool shiny cars, HeartKel is still muttering…
"…and Alanna, and George, and Daine, and Numair…"
So, unfortunately, all these Super-Cool Characters still belong to Tamora Pierce.
The moral of this sad, heart-sickening story is: Next time, Try Harder! Also, take a box of cookies to eat in your next short visit to jail.
On with the Story! ...Oh, wait….I also don't own Kelly Clarkson…I don't think I want toS….
Five hours later, Neal came skipping back into Queenscove's Great Hall, where he was holding all of his guests hostage.
"Hey, every body, I thought of t….HEY! WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING?!? You're being HELD HOSTAGE!!! "
Neal had entered the room in time to see all of his guests playing various games. Alanna, Daine, Yuki, Thayet, Buri, Eleni and Lalasa were all playing Twister, while Neal could distinctly heart Kel call out colors in her Super-Duper Commander voice ("alright….Left Foot, Red! No, no….Alanna! Alanna! I said red, not blue….Hey! NO CHEATING!!!").
Their husbands (excluding Everybody's Favorite Meathead, and, well, Myles and Jon, too) were enjoying the delightful view they were receiving, whistling at the more spectacular ones ("Raoul! I DON'T CARE IF I'M YOUR WIFE, STOP TRYING TO LOOK UP MY SKIRT!")
Lord Wyldon, King Jon, Myles and the rest of Third Company sat playing a colossal game of Truth and Dare (Hmm, Lerant…erm….I dare you…to kiss Wyldon, for 10 gold nobles." "TEN GOLD NOBLES!! Are you crazy?!? I'd rather pay!)
So, after Neal had a little fit, and forced everyone to stand in a straight line ("All bow to my powerful Green Magic…..yes, you too Numair, Alanna…or not…just….stand there, ok?), Neal revealed his All-Powerful Plan to every body.
"So, here's what I'm going to do! I am going to……hunt for clues! Everybody, turn out your pockets!"
With much grumbling, all the guests threw all items they had on their respective persons (NO! Do not think dirty!) into a pile on the floor. With the air of someone embarking on a treasure hunt (actually, more like a bloodhound sniffing out a bone), Neal dug through the pile.
"Let's see what we have here……a rock, nope, don't need that!"
Neal through the shiny rock over his shoulder, which landed on Numair ("Owwie…")
"…A piece of wood, don't need that!"
Clunk!
"….a Super-Shiny dagger, nope! "
Clank!
"…Kel's special string collection, who would want that?"
Ploosh! ("Grr…that was special Neal! Imported from Sarain!")
"…Alanna's purple contact collection, who in their right mind cares about their eye color?"
Clatter! (A/N This just became a noise……now!)
(Nealan! Those cost a lot! Just wait till I get my hands on my sword….)
"....a Super-Slimy frog, who let the frog in?"
Plop!
"…A letter from Wyldon to me….Hey! A letter for me! Lemme read!"
"Nooo! It's supposed to be private! Nooooooooooo!!"
"Ahem!.....Dearest Neal, I've wanted to say this for a long time. Even as you were getting married. When I received word that you had a daughter, I knew that I had to tell you this; I love you. I've loved you ever sin…….HEY! This is a love note! From a MALE!"
"Yes….it's finally out in the open….Neal, I love you!"
"Eww……I am so not hearing this! Hey….in an act of jealousy, you could have stolen my poor, unnamed daughter! YOU STOLE MY DAUGHTER!"
"Yes! I did! I was so mad; especially since you led me on, making me think you were available! Well, here's how I feel!"
In the most girlish voice a man could produce, Wyldon started singing when music suddenly appeared out of nowhere.
(A/N: In case you want the song, it's called Since You've Been Gone, by Kelly Clarkson)
"Here's the thing we started off friends
It was cool but it was all pretend
Yeah yeah
Since you've been gone
You dedicated you took the time
Wasn't long till I called you mine
Yeah Yeah
Since you've been gone
And all you'd ever hear me say
Is how I pictured me with you
That's all you'd ever hear me say
But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
What I want
Since you've been gone
How can I put it? you put me on
I even fell for that stupid love song
Yeah yeah
Since you've been gone
How come I never hear you say
I just wanna be with you
I guess you never felt that way
But since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you
Now I get
I get what I want
Since you've been gone
You had your chance you blew it
Out of sight, out of mind
Shut your mouth I just can't take it
Again and again and again and again
Since you've been gone
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get
I get what I want
I can breathe for the first time
Im so movin on
Yeah yeah
Thanks to you (thanks to you)
Now I get (I get)
You should know (you should know)
That I get
I get what I want
Since you've been gone
Since you've been gone
Since you've been gone"
When he finished, he left some amused, some in horror, and Raoul, Buri and Alanna laughing hysterically on the floor.
"What? What?!?! That wasn't funny!"
Neal, after 20 minutes of horror, used his Ultimate Green Powers to see if Wyldon had been telling the truth. Unfortunately for Wyldon, he was not telling the truth of having stolen Neal's Poor, Unnamed, Missing Daughter, so he was the first unlucky one to leave Neal's party, being sent to the palace like a bad boy.
"Good Riddance…Kel, remind me to NEVER let me near Wyldon again. Well, one down, and Alanna, Daine, Yuki, Thayet, Buri, Eleni, Lalasa, Kel, George, Numair, Jon, Raoul, Myles, Dom and the rest of Third Company to go!"
A/N:
Not amusing, I know. I am personally surprised that people thought it was good.
Cookies for you, if you review! )
You're not going to review, are you?
ARE YOU?!?
Just…please…review.
Oh yeah! Give me any suggestions you might have for the next chapter!