Every Time
Every time I see you, my heart fills with happiness,
I love you too much; it's just not right or fair, that you are clueless to this.
Every night I cry, because you still haven't figured it out.
Are you truly that dense?
When I speak with you in person, I smile and I laugh at every joke, I never miss a beat.
I pretend that you love me back, so I don't have to think about how you don't.
It's a good solution, isn't it?
You would think so, wouldn't you?
But it isn't. It's the worst of the worst, and causes me more pain when I'm without you,
Left with only the truth.
Everyday brings more tears, every moment I hurt more and more.
I wish I could tell you everything that is on my mind.
I wish I could tell you everything that is in my heart.
But I can't, and I don't think I ever will.
I'm so lost in this world, and you are the light guiding me.
I come to that light like a moth to a flame, and will suffer the same fate.
You must think I'm so pathetic, but I don't blame you for that.
I could never blame you for anything.
So I sit alone in my room, staring at the walls
Wondering if this pain will ever go away.
I wish it would.
I wish it could.
But it never will, and never could go away
I feel so plastic, pretending all the time.
Barbie is more real than me at those times.
I don't want to feel this fake.
I don't like it in the least, but I stay like this.
Will I always?
Perhaps.
When you call me on the telephone I can't stand to speak with you.
I'm distracted by the thought that you don't love me.
So I'll just wait this out.
I'll be okay don't worry about me.
I'll make it through,
I'm sure of it.
I'm sure of it….