Disclaimer: I don't own most things I put in this story.
A/N: IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ!!! This story is in response to my own challenge. At the end of this story you will find a list of other people who responded to the challenge. Please read them and vote for the one you like best. Also, the guidelines will be posted at the end of this story.
"Twas the Night before Christmas," read Sirius quite clearly off the title page of dusty old book. "Hey, let's read this one!"
"No! Come on, Sirius, you read that one last year!" argued Harry.
"Yeah!" argued Ginny Weasley. "We wanted you to read us that Christmas story by that Mr. Moose fellow!"
"Do you mean Dr. Suess?" asked Sirius.
"Whatever," said Ginny.
"Well, I'm the reader and I say we're reading Twas the Night Before Christmas," said Sirius.
"Well, you're full of fishsticks, you fool," said Ron.
All of Gryffindor sat in the Common Room, waiting for Sirius to read his annual Christmas Eve Story. They had just had their dinner and were now lounging comfortably anywhere there was room.
Sirius cleared his room with finality and began to read. "Twas the Night before Christmas when all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. All the stockings were hung by the chimney with care with the hopes that Saint Nicholas soon…"
"Who's Saint Nicholas?" interrupted Dean Thomas.
"Santa Clause," said Sirius emphatically.
"Aw, he's not real," responded Dean.
"He certainly is," said Sirius.
"Come on, Sirius," said Harry. "We're not little kids."
"I'm telling you, he's real," said Sirius.
"Then how does he get around the world in one night?" asked Parvati Patil.
"Time Zones!" exclaimed Sirius. "It's not night at the same time everywhere!"
"Fine, then how doe she get around the world in one day?" asked Harry.
"He's got a time turner."
"That's the greatest invention since sliced bread!" exclaimed Hermione.
"I still think we should have read something by Captain Moose," said Ginny.
"DR. SUESS!" exclaimed Sirius. "And anyway, all of you guys are going to get a lot of coal because you don't believe in Santa."
"Sirius," said Harry emphatically.
"Let's just get on with the story," said Sirius reopening the book. "All the stocking were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be there. The children were nestled all snug in their beds while visions of sugar plums danced in their…"
He was interrupted again as someone asked "What's a sugar plum?"
"Really now," said Sirius exasperatedly. "How do you expect me to read my annual Christmas story if you keep interrupting me?"
"Well, you could just seriously not read the sorry story," said Ron.
"Ohh!! You could read us Lord of the Rings!!!!" exclaimed Ginny.
"No way," said Harry. "That Frodo guy is always getting himself into the weirdest predicaments." Everyone stared at him strangely.
"And that Gandalf guy," started Ginny. "Really, nobody is that powerful and wise!"
"Oh, I don't believe that," said a voice from the Portrait Hole. Professor McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore were standing there and it was Dumbledore who had talked. "Aww how nice it is to see a little inter-year cooperation. What are you reading? Anything good?" asked Professor Dumbledore.
"And why aren't you sleeping, like good students should?" asked McGonagall.
"I'm reading them a story. It's a new tradition!" exclaimed Sirius excitedly. "And really, Min', it's not that late."
"That's a fact that I think I can debate," responded McGonagall.
"What? Are you speaking in rhyme?" asked Sirius confusedly.
"And it's really hard to do all the time," answered McGonagall.
"She and Professor Snape got into a little spat and she got hit with a rhyming spell," answered Dumbledore.
"And now I think I'm in a sort of living hell," she spat.
"Well, I'm afraid I have an announcement to make," said Dumbledore. "While it is a good thing that the protection spells surrounding the castle are powerful…"
"I read about that in Hogwarts, A History," interjected Hermione.
Dumbledore continued, "I'm afraid that tonight they were slightly over-zealous."
He paused as he waited for Professor McGonagall to add something, however he realized that it wasn't easy to rhyme something with the word "over-zealous" so she probably wouldn't. He continued.
"Unfortunately, the protection spell gave a certain really jolly, slightly plump, red-clad man and his sled a little zap when it got too close to the school. Now, don't you worry, it didn't hurt him. But it did spook the reindeer causing the sled to jerk a bit causing all of the presents to fall into the lake. Now don't you worry, because we've just had a few words with the ducks out there and they said that the presents are just fine and that they will help us retrieve the presents from the bottom of the lake before the night is over."
Everyone in the room, except Sirius, stared at Dumbledore as if he had gone crazy.
"Supercalifragilisticepialidocious," said Ginny incredulously.
"What?" asked Sirius, confused.
"It's a word to say when you don't know what to say!" she said.
"Well, run to the window and see for yourselves if you don't believe me," said Dumbledore.
"You can see Santa's sleigh. It's parked by the tree," added McGonagall.
"Geez, Min', you sound like Dr. Suess," said Sirius.
"Don't call me 'Min', you big moose," she responded.
Meanwhile, the students had flocked to the window. Sure enough, there was a sleigh parked by a tree. Only there weren't reindeer attached to it; there were hippogriffs. And that definitely was not a jolly fat man, but instead….
"Hey, that's Remus Lupin!!!" exclaimed someone.
"Well that's absolutely amazing," said Ron.
"Amazing, but not Technicolor," responded someone else.
They all turned around and stared at McGonagall, Sirius, and Dumbledore.
"Well, there was a… and they just… and then Remus volunteereded…" rambled Sirius.
"Volunteereded?" whispered Harry as everyone just stared at Sirius because of the lack of grammatical clarity.
"It was their idea!" exclaimed Sirius pointing at McGonagall and Dumbledore.
"Well, it was about as good as Gimli's idea to go into Moria!" exclaimed Ginny.
"Stop it with the Lord of the Rings references already," said Harry.
"Sorry, precious," said Ginny.
"Well, let's go then," said Sirius.
"Where are we going?" asked Harry.
"To get the presents out of the lake!" exclaimed Sirius.
And after they fished the presents out of the lake, they all had hot chocolate.
THE END
A/N: Wow. That was random. Okaythere are other versions of the story that are out there. Read them all and then let me know which one you like best. Mine doesn't count. Happy Holidays!!!!
Lady Potter, Lamina Court, and Whitelighter Enchantress all responded to my challenge. Please read thier versions as well. They are all listed in my favorite authors list.
And here are the guidelines:
The story's title must be "Twas the Night"
The story must start out with Sirius reading "'Twas the Night Before Christmas" in the Gryffindor Common Room to the students. The year is up to you. The reason why Sirius is reading to them does not need to be stated.
It must be Christmas-time. I realize this is a humorous story, but setting it in the middle of June defeats the purpose.
At least one statement made must be so grammatically incorrect that the other characters can only stare at the speaker.
Should you choose to put Ron Weasley in the story, he must have at least one example of alliteration in every sentence he says.
There must be at least four statements/objects/references that show that the characters are aware of the uncanny parallel between the Harry Potter series and the Lord of the Rings series.
The word "Supercalifragilisticepialidocious" must be used in context.
No original characters may be used in the story. This is to broaden the story's appeal and decrease confusion.
Hermione may only say "I read that in Hogwarts, A History" or "That's the greatest invention since sliced bread!"
There must be one reference/allusion to a Broadway Musical, either current or former. The reference/allusion may be subtle. The musical does not need to be well-known. However, it must be there. I WILL pick up on it and if I can't, one of my sisters will. If you stump us all, you get bonus points.
One character (your choice) must speak only in obvious rhymes.
The story may not turn into an MST, as set aside in the guidelines of
The story must be no less than three pages long, but no more than 20.
Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall must appear at some point with an important announcement. The announcement must involve ducks somehow.
As much as I love truly random stories with no rhyme or reason, this story must be well-written with a definite beginning, middle, and end.
The last line must be "And after they fished the presents out of the lake, they all had hot chocolate". The line must be used in context.