okay, if you would, just skip over this stuff. it isnt the real story. just a plot bunny. although, some people like it. it was originally designed to irritate people enough so they would leave death threats.so, the story is the next chapter. enjoy.
werning. bad grammar. bad punctuation! tHis fic was made to irritate you enough to make death threats. oh..and gays, fags, smoke, and mirrors.
rated. C for confucius.
The day it all went to hell.
(ding-dong, the boy's dead)ah, yeah, another note? character death.
the family that lived at #4 privet drive were perfectly normal thanx u very much. they had however, a secret, the prominate black sheep of the family..except he wasnt black at the moment, not at all , you see, at the moment, thier nephew and charge, harry potter, was green. with purple spots. and neon green feathers sprounting from the wings on his back. so it sufficed to say that the family of #4 privet drive, the dursleys, were quite baffled, and in the case of the dursley patriarch, quite puce-colored in the face.
of course, you can hardley blame hime can youe? its not every day that some gothic freak with a snake fetish is incinerated on your nice grass along with your only whale of a son now is it? the freakish things kids do now-adays!all that ...magic! it did those freakish things to their nephew..who was now thier niece! as in..opposite of a nephew! who was currently shagging on the porch with some greasy black-haired man that looked to be his father..only with a larger nose, and an oristocratic blonde! lthe positions they were using were not even near anything that could be called sex..and it was hard looking apon such a site as the one that they were watching , on ethat had not even been concieved in the great wisdom of the kama-sutra!
This had to be the worst day in the life of Vernon Dursley.
so he sat down and smoked marijuiana. and watche4d his now supposed gay nephew(or neice?) shag two people at the same time in inconcievability.and he mused.
oh he mused.
gay meant happy right?
well it made sense.
gay people were happy beause of all the gay things they did, and happy people were usually gay.so...did that mean that in order to be happy, he had to be gay?
this made sense to vernon dursley.
so he leaft for the carribean. unfortunatley, because of his obesitey, he was jailed for indescent exposure, and jailed for ten years.
where he lived a very gay and happy life with his cellmate..bob.