2A/N: If this is the first time you have read this chapter of the story, than there were some changes. I had to get rid of the lyrics in this chapter and several chapters along the way. So, no lyrics, no more. I had to get rid of it all. So, just find the lyrics or listen to the song(s) and see what it means to set the mood between the characters of the story. So, enjoy. Look for Hoobastank's "The Reason", Britney Spears' "Every Time" and Usher's "Burn".
THE REASON - Part Nine: Burning Every Time
Summary: Tommy is left with a guilty conscience. He pulls out memories from his relationship with Kim, finding out he truly misses and needs her. Kimberly sheds tears of guilt for hurting her true love more than she needed to. She sits in her car, looking at the stars, holding a photo of Tommy close to her heart. And she realizes she needs him more and more as the days go by.
Disclaimer: Power Rangers belongs and will always belong to Saban Entertainment, BVS Entertainment Inc., Renaissance Atlantic Entertainment, Village Roadshow KP Producations Limited, ABC Kids, ABC Family and Disney. And to all other affiliates with the Power Rangers concept (ie. Sentai–the original Power Rangers). And, yes, before I forget, the main title of the story does tie in with Hoobastank's "The Reason". And Britney Spears' "Every Time" and Usher's "Burn" Thanks for the inspiration.
A/N: I thought I never really saw myself using such songs as these in my stories. To Britney Spears and Usher, I'm sorry I used your songs in my story, but it made sense at the time. Give me a break. But I do give you credit. I'm not sure if they are the exact lyrics, but close enough. It's sorta rough, but it's still sad. I think it is. But you know the deal. Read. Review. May the Powers protect you always.
"How else can I say that you still live inside me, when all I feel is anger and pain every time I see you now?" –Eclyptyk Neo
Hours passed.
Tommy figured that Ethan had many questions to ask him about his relationship with Kim, but refused to speak of it. Tommy didn't want to rush him with the answers or trying to force the questions out of him. The drive to and from Ethan's place was quiet. No radio. No talking. Only the wind blowing passed the jeep as it went sailing down the road.
Tommy sat there, alone, in the living room staring blankly at the wall. He had been there for some time. He didn't move. Caught in an empty void.
What happened? He thought. That was never supposed to happen. Damnit, Jason, if I find out you were behind this, I'll kill you. It was our problem, not yours. And shouldn't I be the one to confront her about this?
He wasn't mad. Not really. Actually, he wasn't sure how he was feeling. He never felt so empty inside.
He looked at the coffee table seeing his cell phone sitting beside something wrapped in black tissue paper. He took the phone into his sprained hand, the wrapped object in his other hand.
He opened up the package, and found a small locket inside. He caught his breath, opening it up. On the right side was a picture of himself and Kim. His arm wrapped around her waist. She was turning into him, hand on chest. Both of them wearing a warm smile on their faces. It was taken ten years ago, when they first started going out. When they had made it official. It was taken by Trini. On the other side, their names were engraved in script inside a circle: Thomas Anthony Oliver + Kimberly Anne Hart. 1994.
No. Not a heart. But a circle. Hearts break, but circles go on forever. He told himself, as he told her the day he presented it to her.
It was the first gift he had given her after their first-month anniversary.
He covered his face, trying to fight back the tears again. But they escaped slow.
He found a note attached to the bottom of the package. He opened it up, and read it to himself. "Hey, Tommy. Obviously, if you are getting this than you didn't give me a chance to explain myself. I understand. I kind of came unexpected, and I apologize for that. But, I really wanted to talk to you. Needed to talk to you. I admit that I was a fool for not telling you I had met someone down in Florida in person, instead of writing it in a letter. But I was scared. And right now, I'm scared for you. I still care about you, Tommy. I still love you. That other guy was just a cover-up. He didn't provide me with the same happiness you gave me. He was a pawn for my pain in never seeing you. But I miss you so much. I never realized how much I needed you until now. I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you the way I did. But if you don't want anything to do with me, well, at least you know how I feel about you. I hope we can start over. Please forgive me. Love-Kim. P.S. I would assume that if you keep the locket, than I assume you don't want anything more to do with me, but at least you know the truth. I love you, Thomas Anthony Oliver, and I'm not going to give up until we're together again. And forever."
Tommy finally found his breath again. He pushed the locket to his heart, the memories of his past with her played in his head like home movies. He did miss her. He knew inside how much he needed her. The moment he saw her only a few feet away after three years crushed him. He wanted to hold onto her. Never let her go, but instead he never felt so angry to see her. He just wasn't sure if he wanted to live with the pain again. He could see it happen all over again, and he wasn't sure if he could deal with it, especially now.
Then he remembered. "...Didn't I tell you that once you found true love, you can't let it go. She'll come back to you. And you'll go back to her. It's what we call love. It's quite a great gift to have, especially now. But it's the games that tests your loyalty toward each other, and will prove how much you truly need and care for each other. Don't let her go, Tommy."
It's what Jason told him weeks ago on one of his routine phone-call check-ups.
Tommy looked at the locket and note on the table, than at the cell phone still in his hand. He let out a breath and began to dial her cell phone number.
He pushed the receiver to his ear and waited.
Kimberly found a quiet spot in the woods just outside of town. She pulled the car into park, and hugged the wheel for sometime trying to force back the tears. She never felt like such a fool. She never felt so empty. She didn't expect that to happen. But she saw exactly what Jason had warned her about. The isolation. The distance. The pain.
The radio played quietly in the background. Kim turned it up, hoping it would relay some of the emptiness she felt inside.
"...hey, what is up. This is DJ Flip," the radio dj said over the radio. "What is up, radio ears! Anyways, we got a new song here from Britney Spears called "Every
Time." You know the deal, listeners. Rate it. Hot or not."
The song began.
The song ended, leaving behind a silence with it.
Kimberly wiped her face again, realizing she had been crying throughout the entire song. She never would have thought that such a song as that would hit her so hard, considering she didn't give much credit to Britney Spears. But even she knew that Ms. Spears had her own problems with a certain successful solo act by the name of Justin Timberlake.
She turned off the radio, looking away."How could I be so stupid? How could I have ever let you go, Tommy? Please, forgive me. Tell me you still love me just as much as I love you. You knew me better than anyone else. And I know I knew you like no other. Please, can we get back together and make things all right?"
She heard the ring of her cell phone sitting on the passenger seat, and held it up. It read: "Incoming call. Tommy."
She held her breath, but placed the phone back on the seat. She didn't want to talk to him. Well, she did. She just couldn't really find it in her little form to pick up the phone. Not at that moment in time.
"The voicemail will get it." she admitted.
Then it stopped ringing. She didn't bother to look at it, realizing she was holding a picture of Tommy, a pic given to her by Jason, close to her heart. He was wearing a business suit and white lab coat. A gentle smile on his face. It was his teacher mug for the yearbook at Reefside High School.
She ran her hand gently down his face. "I love you, baby. I don't want to let you go again."
The phone rang.
And rang.
And rang.
Each ring felt like an eternity that pushed them even farther apart. Tommy became more fearful in leaving behind a message, or didn't have a clue what to say if in fact she did answer.
The cell phone clicked, and the voicemail began. "Hey, it's Kim. Sorry, but I must have been far too busy to pick up the phone. Just leave a message and name and I'll call you back when I can. All right?"
BEEP!
Tommy hesitated, trying to figure out what to say. "Um...hey, Kim. It's Tommy. Look, I, uh, I just...I want to apologize for how I reacted around you. That wasn't like me, I know. I'm sorry, but after three years, it's kinda nothin' new. I was just upset. I didn't mean that... No, I mean I did...but I didn't...I just didn't want it to be that harsh. I'm sorry." He chocked back some tears. "Look, I know that first impression must of sucked ass. But you did catch me at a bad time. ...Anyways, if you want to do something...get together and resolve our differences...I'm up for it. Give me a call back, all right? I'll see ya when I do. Bye."
He placed the phone down, waiting to see if she'd call back.
But nothing.
He retreated back to his room, and went into the closet to retrieve a decent-sized box from the top shelf. He carried it out into the bedroom, and collapsed on the bed in front of it. He turned on the stereo, hoping there would be a song that could clear his mind of the matter.
He popped the box open revealing every little possible thing that reminded him of Kim. The pictures they took. The letters written. The songs she had recorded for him. The gifts she had given him. Everything that was manageable to keep.
The minutes felt like hours as he began to dig through the box. Time slowed around him as he recalled all the great memories he had shared with her. Every time he saw her smile. Every time they shared a kiss. Every time he held her in his arms. And it had never went beyond that. Didn't go under the covers. They were waiting. Waiting for the special moment. And Tommy wasn't sure if it would ever come.
"...that was Hoobastank's "The Reason". This is DJ Flip for KSFX 102.4 FM, Cisco-Magic, San Fran's best music station and real hits," the dj said. "But right now, let's take it a little slow. This is for all you guys out there strugglin' with a relationship. Hope it works out for you." The song beginning in the background. "This is the Flipsta hitting it on KSFX, 102.4 FM, Cisco-Magic."
Tommy forced out a breath, as he took in the lyrics of the song, hoping that it wasn't true. But when it came down to it, it was true. Damn it, That's one reason why I don't like to listen to the radio. Playing all these songs that can tell my whole life story.
He turned down the volume, pulling out a framed picture, sent by Jason, of Kimberly standing against a wall, one hand up for support, the other wrapped around her waist. She wore a pink baby T-shirt, with some faded denim jeans. There was bright smile on her face.
And Tommy rolled into bed, falling into a sleepless slumber, holding the picture by his heart, never wanting to let go. The song playing like a record in his mind as he tried to find peace in his heart.
To be continued...