Every Heart For Years

Chapter 2 – Heart

Courage, a small word for something that's practically invisible and impossible to point out. Life is dear, that's why we have the will to survive no matter what happens to us. Whether we lose those close to us, or we are faced with certain death. Courage is something that everyone holds inside of them. It's something that born inside everyone, however it us that have to learn to use it.

It's hard, that's why most people prefer to look the other way when someone else is in trouble. " It's not right to stick your nose in other people's business." Is that true… or is it because we're afraid to lose our own life while trying to save another? For some people it's not even a question and they'll jump right in, but every year that number grows fewer and fewer. Why? I don't even know that answer.

Sometimes though, those 'heroes', they just can't find the courage inside of them anymore. The wonderfully nice personalities get used, abused and sadly, they end up dying on the inside. People prey on their courage and use them for their own selfish reasons, and in the end, doesn't matter whether physically or not, but they kill them. Our faults, because we can't find our own courage to save ourselves, however when there are no more heroes to help us…

What then?

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Meryl whimpered softly, feeling the pain in the back of her neck throbbing. Each jolt of the thomas below her sent pains straight through her back into her neck. She had woken up on the bird; when the last thing she remembered was jumping across the bed towards the Typhoon who practically declared he stripped her down to judge her body. Snorting softly she leaned back only to look up into the yellow sunglasses.

" Shit." He grinned down at her before pushing her off his chest, which she had landed on when she went to lean back. Sure she had been lying on him while she slept, but now that she was awake he wanted no part of her touching him. Though parts of her screamed to try and jump off the overgrown bird, she knew better already. With her neck in bad shape and her mind fuzzy, he'd catch her. Besides, even if she could run, he'd easily take her down with one shot.

" Shit? You say that a lot." She blinked and glared over her shoulder at him, noticing he was still staring at her. " You're a rather bitchy one aren't you?" Growling she tried to turn herself around to grab at his neck, but he simply reached over and grabbed both her wrists. " Sit straight and still already. Geez I was just kidding." She nearly sputtered at the words that just spilled from his mouth. " Kidding!?"

He laughed and shrugged, releasing her wrists. " Okay fine, you are bitchy… happy now?" Oh my… is he messing with my head!? He almost sounds… nice!? She rolled her eyes after a moment, crossing her arms over her chest, sitting straight up to make sure she wasn't touching him. How the…? She whimpered slightly. This man was confusing. After a moment he growled and stopped the thomas, sliding off the back and suddenly grabbed her around the waist pulling her off.

The look on his face told her that he was mad. Though mad at what or about what, she couldn't place it. As light as she was though, he lost he balance and they both ended up lying in the sand next to each other, his glasses falling from his face as well. She blinked at him as a strange look crossed over his face. A look like he was being torn apart on the inside. Growling sharply he jumped up and glared down at her. I will not go back to… to that! " Stay there, we're going to camp here for the night."

Meryl was lost. One minute he was acting like a complete, but almost sweet idiot, and the next he looked like he wanted to tear her open inside out. Mumbling under her breath, she simply crossed her arms and leaned against the rock behind her. This is so stupid, I could run and he knows it. It's like he… " You trust me to stay here?" She purposely strained her words, causing him to look at her. He looked confused, gapping a moment before looking away. Reaching down, he grabbed his sunglasses and put them back on, despite how dark it was.

" First of all, if you were going to run you would have done so quietly, and second, chances are I'd hear you anyway and I'd shoot you, and I think you know that." She clenched her teeth in anger as he mocked her, with a grin on his face as he went back about making up the camp. Closing her eyes, she tried everything she knew to get her boiling blood down to a normal simmering pissed state. It wasn't working.

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After awhile of silence between the two of them, she started to feel awkward about it. In a strange way, she'd rather have him talking to her than be so silent and… mysterious. Oh come on… like he isn't already? The most you know about him is he killed millions of people and he has mood swings worse than a woman on her period. She grinned a little at the thought, before opening her eyes. Blinking a moment, she found herself staring straight into soft looking blue green eyes.

As much as she wanted too, and even though she knew it was him, she couldn't tear her eyes away. At that moment, any traces of an evil man-killing machine were gone. Pained eyes stared at her, lost and confused. And yet they held a bit of curiosity. However the moment didn't last long. She let out a squeak and let her hands fly. They landed on his chest, in an attempt to push him away. He didn't budge but instead reached out and grabbed her hands, holding them firmly yet much different than before. No pain coursed through them and she found herself staring at him, a blush starting to form on her face.

" Why?" His voice matched his eyes, and she wondered if he even realized she was staring right back at him. " Why what?" He frowned and let go of her hands, flopping down Indian style in front of her. His gaze was staring to un-nerve her as she reached up slowly to brush her bangs from her face. " Why are you…?" She tilted her head a bit in question and he simply stuttered for a moment before adjusting himself so his back faced her, towards the fire. She growled and started to reach for his neck again. " You're driving me nuts!"

He gave a soft laugh, making her stop again before she realized what was in front of her face, backing down a little so she wasn't staring straight into the gun once again, she crossed her arms across her chest. " If I didn't know any better, I'd say you have no heart." The comment made him stiffen sharply. Putting the gun back where it belonged he twisted himself back to face her, eyes looking like they were on fire.

" Would it even matter? I have my life, you had yours… what in the hell does having a heart have to do with this?" She blinked and opened her mouth, before sighing and shrugging. " I didn't mean literally. Everyone has a heart, yours is just black." He growled and leapt at her. One strong hand made it around her neck and tightened almost to the point where he cut off her breathing… almost. Obviously telling him the truth bothers him…

He clenched his free hand for a few seconds before his voice came out dark and cold as when she met him. " Why don't you look at yourself? Not everyone is perfect. Just because I chose to live my life this way doesn't mean I'm the evil one." She stared at him before giving a snort, loosening her neck a little from his grip. " No, taking lives is wrong. You have no right!" He didn't tighten his grip, just shoved her harder into the rock behind her. " Don't ever say that again." Releasing her neck, he took a step back while her hands reached up to her sore throat, rubbing it a few times.

" I can say what I want. But something tells me… you weren't always like this, were you?" He ignored the question, moving next to the fire and ran his gloved hands through a few things before finding what he was looking for. Tossing her a piece of stale and very dry bread, he went back to digging in the bag. Catching it, she stuck her tongue out for a moment, before nibbling on it. " You had a heart. A good one." He simply grumbled at her as he held out his left hand towards her. " Give me your wrists."

Maybe I went to far, I'd rather have him a stupid joking idiot than this. Groaning slightly, she held up her wrists and he tied them tightly. Flinching as the rope literally started to cut into her skin, she watched him tie the end to his wrist. " I don't trust you. I trust no one." Frowning a little she went back to nibbling the stale bread as he lied down in front of her, closing his eyes.

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Morning went by rather fast for her. She felt like she had only gotten a few moments of sleep before he was pulling her up by the rope, which cut a little further into her skin. He seemed to notice she was bleeding but didn't say anything as he left her tied, even as he got her up on the thomas. She groaned inwardly. This is the last thing I wanted to do today.

Unlike the last two days, she had seen him with his hair in an untidy mess, which she found to be kind of attractive, but now he had spiked it back up, covered his eyes with his glasses and he truly looked the part of the demon killer. For some reason she was far more pissed at him than she would have thought. Both went through the day just muttering under their breaths about how the other was far more than just an annoyance. However when night fell and he tugged her off the thomas by the rope, she gritted her teeth and tugged back, which wasn't the smart idea, already having the ropes ripping her skin open.

" Stop pulling me around like I'm an animal!" He grumbled at her and grabbed her forearms, reaching down with his free hand to untie the rope. Instead of letting go like she thought he would, he simply pulled her down to the ground and held her wrists out in the moonlight. Tilting his head back and forth a few times he reached into the bag beside him and pulled out several supplies, and much to her delight, bandages were apart of that.

He didn't spend long on each wrist, but he was gentle again. She kept her mouth shut, not wanting to try and take care of her wrists by herself. Once he finished, he still hadn't muttered a word at her. He was still mad, she could feel the waves of hatred pouring off of him. And most of her felt guilty, knowing most of it was towards her.Why though she'd never figure that out, at least not at the moment. Grumbling under her breath, she uttered something along the lines of a thank you before separating herself from with a few feet of distance.

" Sit next to me." She blinked and glanced over at him. His voice had been gruff, but it was soft again and she smiled slightly and crawled over to sit next to him. He laid back to let his eyes rest on the sky, and before long, she heard a soft snoring sound coming from him. Reaching over carefully, she removed his glasses to find his eyes indeed closed. Placing the glasses off to the side and out of harms way, she looked down at him. Broom-headed idiot…

Smiling a little more, she reached and brushed the bangs hanging over his face. " I think I was wrong. It's not that you lost your heart… you buried it." She hadn't even realized her fingers trailing down the side of his face. Blushing a little she jerked her hand back and laid down next to him, facing her back towards him. Stupid stupid stupid!

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Yes I know Meryl may be a bit OOC, but at the moment Vash isn't who he was in the anime so she has reason to not act the same. Anyway still don't own Trigun, but maybe someday.