Every Heart For Years

Chapter Five – Lost

Trust… such a small word with such big meanings. And everyone has his or her own definitions, which could quite possibly make it the hardest word to describe. There are many things to 'trust', like you trust your best friend will be there on time, or that your boyfriend will remember your birthday. Or maybe it's more than that. A trust that you feel could never be broken. A bond within the family between a mother and daughter, or sister and brother.

Either way you pray that trust will not be broken. For most of us, it takes a lot to give it in the first place. For trust to be thrown away, in a way… it's a blow that can cause major damage. And almost everyone could say it's happened more than once. Though some are able to forgive those who have betrayed their trust… some only because they knew it was an accident. However, the more the people betray us, the harder it gets to give it back out.

When we are children, we have no choice but to lay our trust on others shoulders. We aren't capable of living without help. And a few people eventually end that way, relying on other people completely instead of taking care of themselves. Luckily this is a small number, and we can proudly say we can take care of ourselves. But in the end, there is one question that plagues the mind.

Can we really survive without relying on at least one person?

---

The wait for Knives was actually longer than what both girls had expected. Instead of returning, like he had said in his previous letter to Milly, he sent another one shortly after. Milly flatly refused to let Meryl see it, which wasn't like the big girl's attitude at all. Meryl summarized easily that it had something to do with Vash, and later that same day overheard Milly telling the Sheriff that the townspeople should beware. The Stampede was heading back their way…

Meryl could have sworn her heart stopped for a good long moment in shock. Part of her wondered if he was looking for her, but the sensible part just laughed at her. He shot you idiot. The only reason he'd come back is to finish the job he left behind. Crossing her arms over her chest, she headed back towards the doctor's house. Within a few short hours, she noticed that people were boarding up their windows and doors, and as the moons started to rise into the sky, the people disappeared quickly from the streets.

Rolling her eyes a little, she knew that if Vash were serious enough, no amount of wood or stone would keep him from destroying such a small town. Running her fingers through short hair, she took in deep breaths and tried to relax her nerves. She felt so lost… she had made so many promises just to herself, especially about wanting to help Vash. But how did you help someone who simply shot you because you looked like someone he once loved dearly.

Groaning she flopped down on the bed, pulling her shirt up just a touch to examine the bullet wounds on both her left and right side. Her fingers trailed over the scars, which she had also noticed had started to fade from view. In her mind, she vaguely remembered all the scars that laced over Vash's body. So pain in so many years… She groaned again and threw one arm over her eyes as the other pulled her shirt back down. " A nap before dinner couldn't hurt."

---

When Meryl woke a few hours later, it was completely dark outside. The light from the moons no longer flooded into her windows, which either meant it was midnight or well after. She flinched and sat up, glancing over at the nightstand next to her where she knew Milly would have left something for her to eat. She hadn't planned on that long of a nap, but she couldn't help that she was still so worn out.

However something in the air was dark and heavy, almost alarming. And it just wasn't the air; it was lying heavily on her mind too. It took her a moment before she finally slid off the bed and padded quietly to the room across the hall. Inching the door open slowly, she saw Milly asleep with her chest taking deep breaths and small murmuring sounds emerging from the woman's throat.

Okay… so it's not coming from there. She scratched the back of her head before heading back into her room, pulling out a derringer from a shelf that Milly had placed them in when they found her. She sighed and shook her head, staring down at tiny gun beforeputting it back. Paranoid Meryl… god that's what they'll call me. She muttered under her breath before turning out her room and started for the stairs walking as quietly as she could.

It felt weird inside her head. Like someone was using her to see their own path, like... she wasn't the only one using her eyes. Heading down the stairs slowly, she glanced around the dark room, unsurprised by the fact that she could actually see rather well in the dark. All of her instincts pulled her towards the front door, and as much as common sense told her to run the other way, she started towards the door. The closer she got, the weaker she felt her muscles become. Reaching for the doorknob sent a shiver of pain shoot through her body.

" Don't!" She nearly fell back by the sense of urgency that was laced through the thought that shocked her mind. Or maybe more so from the person it came from. She stared numbly at the door before muttering under her breath. " Vash…?" She shook her head and reached for the doorknob again, the feeling of sharing her mind and body suddenly fled as she opened the door. In front of her, the two twins stood. She never really realized how much they did look alike until they stood so close together.

Yet somehow Vash… he looked so vulnerable. Knives looked almost murderously towards his own brother, but Vash's eyes were locked on her. He looked torn just like he had been in the dream. Onlyfor a momenttime stood, until Knives notice what exactly his brother was staring at. He looked like he had been muted; ready to kill his brother and she interrupted the process. Vash opened his mouth to say something, but his brother's movementcut his thoughts off and he raised his gun toward his brother.

Meryl was frozen in place, lost in her own world. She knew Vash killed a lot of people, but she had seen a different side to him. Granted it wasn't the best side, but it seemed that he was slowly improving. She doubted he would have ever looked at her like that if he had never kidnapped her in the first place. Or maybe it was just all her imagination. Being so lost in her own world, eyes glazed over that she didn't even realize the two had been taking shots at each other.

That was until a bullet sailed passed her ear, just barely missing her. She let out a yelp and ducked down. It caught Vash's attention, but Knives didn't even glance in her direction. He either took her yelp to help distract Vash, or just plain didn't care. And she wouldn't be surprised if he didn't. Knives took his shot and Vash didn't have time to move, the bullet sliced cleanly through his shoulder. He didn't cry out, but it was enough to send him to his knees.

Meryl was again torn. And yet somehow that didn't matter. Her legs ran straight towards Vash, regardless of the fact that Knives was taking another shot at his brother. She fell on knees in front of him, a hand falling on his good shoulder as she leaned him back from his kneeled slouch. He was staring at her, she knew it, but she preferred to ignore the stare for the moment. She didn't need to be blushing or all caught in the moment while he was hurt.

She ran a finger near his wound and he hissed, closing his eye tight. " You're helping me…" He sounded surprised. After all he had been the one that shot her… twice. And yet it seemed to be within her mind that she didn't care. He blinked in wonder after a moment though. He HAD shot her, why was she able to move so freely? At a moment's notice he had completely forgotten about his brother at Meryl's intent to help him.

However Knives didn't seem to forget it. Or lose his concentration. His gun was still aimed at Vash, and of course, now Meryl. Meryl seemed to know it too, as she glanced over her shoulder at him. Knives didn't even say anything to her… he just fired. Either he had bad aim, which she doubted, or he gave her a fire warning, but she felt a sting pass through her left arm. He was shooting at her too! My god, what is with these two!? Is it just plain fun to shoot me!?

Meryl might have actually bitten Knives if she had been close enough, looking ready to stalk and kill. Vash was a little different… okay a lot different. However she had spent so much time around Knives already that she didn't actually think he could be THAT cold. Quite possibly worse than his brother… and yet there was something with his stance. The way he stood, held his gun… she could have pegged him to be the murderer rather than his slouched brother behind her. She moved to say something, but someone else got there right before she could say anything.

" Knives you… shot her." That caught his attention. It wasn't a question… Milly had seen it. All the words that had been Meryl's mouth just vanished. The look on Milly's face practically screamed betrayal. Knives seemed pretty stuck too, looking like a cross between a half guilty puppy, and a murderer caught in the act. And then everything crashed in on her. The last time she had seen Vash. Vash shot her, pain in the chest, pain in the sides, sharing her body, watching Vash get shot, Knives shooting her, Milly's pain. She could feel it all at once, even if some of the pain didn't exist anymore. It felt like someone knocked her off her feet, her head spinning worse than when Vash had hit her upside the head with his gun.

She felt herself fall, like a faint only awake at the same time. And even with his injury, he still caught her. She felt Vash's arms, she felt his pain thentoo.

---

" Vash I'm sorry about all this." Rem muttered softly, holding the small shivering boy close to her. Vash's face was pale white, like he had seen a ghost. She could see why though, not too far from them, were several dead bodies, which she knew had been the crewmembers… one of them… father. Meryl felt like a ghost, only to realize, unlike her dreams she was there and yet… she was still only watching his memory. How, she wasn't sure how but she was.

" It wasn't your fault Vash. I'm so sorry you had to see this. I can't believe… he'd do such a thing." The small boy looked up at Rem, eyes wide as he tilted his head. " Who?" Rem shook her head, and looked straight up at Merle, almost like… she could see her. Then again, she wasn't ready to doubt the abilities Rem seemed to have naturally as well. Even if it was just a memory.

---

Meryl's eyes shot open, not really surprised to find she didn't see any light. She sat up slowly, running her fingers through her short hair and looked up. Mildly surprised this time, she saw Vash staring down softly at her. His hand reached out, stroking her left arm where she had been shot. " You healed already. You've been sleeping for days and you…" He stopped, almost shocked to find that he was saying anything at all. Meryl shifted a little, not quite shying away from his touch.

" You left town… with me didn't you?" He only nodded and stared at the floor. She raised a hand to his bad shoulder; even it still had a little ways to go before being completely healed. She sighed softly and leaned back against the wall. His hands came up into his hair as he continued to simply stare at the ground. " I shot you… I…" Meryl did something she hadn't done in a long time. She let out a giggle. And it obviously surprised him. He looked at her, raising his brow in confusion.

After a moment, Meryl shook her head. " Rem always liked to laugh didn't she?" She looked to the ceiling as Vash stared at her in disbelief that she even knew such a thing from a person she had never met. Meryl didn't looking the least surprised. " Red flowers… even when she was no more than five. She always used to put flowers in her room." Now Vash looked completely puzzled. " And how do you know that?"

Meryl shrugged and looked over at him. " Rem had a sister… Marina." Vash just nodded before trying to figure it out himself. " Your… one of Marina's decendents?" Meryl shook her head.

" Vash… I am Marina."

---

Okay so no I didn't get another chapter up, but thank you to those who noticed I started to spell Meryl differently. It's left over from the Escaflowne days. Hehe, anyways just small edits of names, there may be one or two left over but I think I got most of them! (Don't ya love my cliffy?) Please R&R!