Cooking With Astrid

So, here's the deal, I've decided to create an entire section for a bunch of NSFW short stories that I have in mind, and I may also move some of my older NSFW short stories to this as well. Starting with this rather unique idea that I had that you're just gonna have to read to see what it is.

Enjoy!

Hi, Astrid here.

So, with humans and dragons becoming recent friends, you probably have a new scaly friend living in your house, and it can be a bit tough to feed both yourself, your family and your dragon.

Sure, most dragons will eat whatever fish you present them, but have you ever considered making food that can be enjoyed by all creatures that live in your house?

Well, not to worry because I'm going to show you how to make a super simple, super tasty fish pie that can be enjoyed by dragons and humans alike. There are a few ingredients involved here that you may find a bit controversial, but trust me, one taste and your family and dragon will be begging for seconds.

Let's get started. First, we are going to make the crust, now you can use a pre-made crust, but it really does show that you care when you make the crust yourself, and it's super easy to make.

For this crust, you just need a few things. Flour, a little salt, cold yak butter, and a special ingredient that we will get to in a second.

So, just mix your flour and salt together in a bowl then cut in the cold yak butter until it's the size of pebbles. You want to make sure the butter is cold as possible as this will lead to a much flakier crust in the end.

Ok, once all that is nice and mixed up, it's time to add the special ingredient. To help give me this ingredient, I've brought in my girl, Stormfly. Stormfly?

*Stormfly walks in and Astrid gives her a pat on the head*

Hey, girl, is the special ingredient all ready to go? *Squawk* Perfect! Well, let's see them.

*Stormfly stands up a bit more, exposing her two-nipple udder that nestled between her legs. Astrid grabs a large cup, places it under one of the nipples, and begins squeezing away*

Yep, that's right, the secret to this crust is fresh dragon milk. Course you could use water, but nothing beats the richness and flavor that dragon milk brings. Now, the sooner your dragon milk can go from the dragon's teats or udder to the crust, the better. If you have a male dragon living with you, don't worry, if a neighbor has a female dragon, then you can totally ask them for some milk.

*Stormfly begins to groan as Astrid works away at her udder."

Sometimes you just need to work that nipple a bit to get the milk to come out…come on…there we go. *Stormfly's udder sprays a stream of milk that goes straight into the waiting cup in Astrid's hand*

You may be wondering, is it safe to consume dragon milk? The simple answer is, yes. You see, dragon milk not only contains tons of nutrients that aid in the growth of hatchlings, but, due to their fiery nature, it's also completely sterile and free of any bacteria, as long as you use it right away.

*The stream of milk stops, so Astrid pats Stormfly's udder before Stormfly leans in to get a head pat.* Thank you, Stormfly. *Stormfly squawks in joy and leaves*

Now, different female dragon species will produce milk with different flavor profiles, but those flavors are quite subtle and since we're only using a small amount in the crust, you really won't taste the difference so feel free to get the milk from any female dragon that's available to you.

Now, you want to add just enough dragon milk or water so that all of this comes together and forms a soft dough. You should only need a few tablespoons. *Adds a bit at a time until the dough forms* Be careful you don't overwork the dough, as you want it to become lovely and tender in the end.

Great! Now, you will need to wrap up and let the dough sit in the fridge for about 30 minutes to allow the yak butter to firm up but also to let the gluten strands relax. Now, in the interest of saving time, I do have a dough that I made earlier, so I'll just pull that out. *takes other dough out and unwraps it*

Alright, so you're gonna want to roll out the dough on a floured surface until it's about a quarter inch thick. Don't worry about making it a perfect circle, because we are going to trim it once we get it into the pie tin.

*Once the dough is rolled out, Astrid puts it onto the rolling pin and lays it into a ready pie tin* Alright, so I'll just trim the edges so it looks a bit neater and so those edges don't burn in the oven. I also like to crimp the edges so you get a nice, decorative crust but you don't have to do this.

Now, I'm just going to prick the dough with a fork a few times before putting it in the oven. You want to bake the crust now so it becomes nice and crisp in the end.

*Places crust into oven.* While that is going, we will work on the filling. Now, as I said, dragons love just about any raw fish, but of course humans aren't as into that idea, so what I do is cook some fish into the pie then, for Stormfly in this case, I'll put a bit of raw fish on top for her to enjoy, just make sure you don't mix up the two when you serve.

Any fish will do, here I have a nice salmon, something that Stormfly absolutely loves, well besides chicken of course but that's for another day. So, just get the fish ready by taking out the guts, the head and all the gnarly stuff, and also cutting out the central bones so that the fish can open up flat inside the pie.

Now, there is one other ingredient for this filling that might be as controversial as what I put into the crust. For this, I've brought in my boyfriend's trusty dragon, Toothless.

*Toothless walks in.* Alright Toothless, you ready with your special ingredient? *Toothless grunts and proceeds to lift his hind left hind leg, exposing his coconut sized balls and half hard, knotted cock. Astrid gets down, places a bucket next to her, and begins stroking said cock*

That's right, the key to this pie filling is fresh dragon semen, and just like with the milk, fresher is better. *Toothless's tongue hangs out as the pleasure builds up inside him and his cock becomes fully hard*

Now, the semen will be making up the majority of the filling, so you really should try out the semen of different dragons to find the flavor profile that you like.

If you like spicy food, then Monstrous Nightmare semen is right for you, Gronkle semen has an earthy taste to it due to their rock diet, Nadder semen has a wonderfully sweet aftertaste, Zipplebacks are great because they can produce twice the amount of semen than say a Nightmare and does have bit of a funk to it, if you like that sort of thing.

Now, the semen of a Night Fury, like Toothless here, is a bit of a Berk exclusive that you can only get from Berk, as Toothless is the only Night Fury that lives around here, but I will tell you that one taste of this big, black boy's semen and you won't want anything else. It's really the perfect blend of sweet, salty, spicy, musky, and everything in between.

*Toothless continues groaning and his hips begin to involuntarily thrust into Astrid's hands* When your dragon begins humping like that, it just means that he's really into it. You'll want to make sure to have a bucket near you as once this semen starts coming out, there's nothing stopping it until these big balls are drained. *Pats balls and picks up the pace with stroking* and it's going to happen very fast.

You'll know he's close when his penis starts to expand in girth and the tip of the penis begins to fill with sperm that is ready to come out.

*Toothless's cock does just that as he nears orgasm, so Astrid places the bucket right to the tip, just before the cock explodes with hot semen that fills up the bucket in seconds* Excellent job, Toothless. I can tell you haven't had the chance to cum in a bit. *Once Toothless's cock was drained, he flops to the side on the floor as Astrid brings the bucket up to the counter*

Ok, we're almost done with the hard work. Now, our crust is just starting to brown, so now it's time to add our fillings. Just lay the fish out onto the crust, add in some herbs, seasonings and a bit of lemon peel, then pour in the semen, gratefully provided by Toothless. *Toothless was still passed out on the floor."

Great! Now, this is going to go back into the oven until the filling starts to set and the crust is fully browned, once it's done, let it sit on the counter until it cools completely. *Pulls out already made pie* Here's one that I did earlier, just to show you what it should be like.

*Smells* Ah, the smell of that fish mixed with the musky semen, I just want to dive right in there. Well, I'm going to slice this up and give it to some friends, until next time, I'm Astrid Hofferson.

*Hiccup walks up to the window* "Astrid, have you seen Toothless?" *Video ends*

Sitting on their sofa, having watched that, Ruffnut and Tuffnut stare blankly at the wall. "Hey, Ruffnut?" Tuffnut asks.

Ruffnut replies, "Yeah?"

Tuffnut adds, "Remember that pie that Astrid gave us the other day?"

Ruffnut replies, "I do."

Tuffnut nods. "What ever happened to that pie?"

Ruffnut pauses for a moment then replies, "I…ate it. All of it."

Tuffnut nods and gives Ruffnut a side eye. "What are you thinking now that you know what's in it?"

Ruffnut stands up and replies, "Uh, I think I'm gonna go throw up. See you in a week." She proceeds to go to the bathroom.

Thanks for reading this very unique story, I do hope you enjoyed it, if you did then please let me know, if you didn't…well, then that's on you.

See you next time!