Emma took in a deep breath, inhaling as much warmth as she could from the hot chocolate sprinkled with cinnamon, that she held gracefully between her hands. Sitting on the steps of her two-bedroom rental, even with her beanie and coat on, the crisp morning air caused Emma to shiver, but there was a smile on her face. This was the only part of the day, she could just sit back and focus on the sunshine, when it occasionally broke through the clouds. Across the street a family of four rushed into their car heading off to school and work, joggers laughed together making their way through the park and a couple walked along the footpath in front of her holding hands, all these activities so mundane. However, they all looked so happy to Emma and even if they weren't, she liked to believe they were, that it was possible, to be that effortlessly content with life. There was a bittersweetness to this morning routine, it was the only time, Emma was honest with herself, about how unhappy she truly was, but this awareness only led to daydreaming, not any action. Henry came out of the house and sat beside his mother, nudging her right side gently with a smile, too tired to verbally say good morning, Emma felt better as soon as he appeared, the one good constant in her life. She rested her head on his shoulder for a minute or two, enjoying the peace with him, wishing she could give her son a better life.
"So, how'd you go?" Emma asked eager.
"Well, I'm still tweaking the ending, I just don't want to leave any loose ends, but having everything wrap up perfectly, I might as well end the story with 'and they all lived happily ever after'," he answered conflicted.
"That's what stories are for, they give us hope, get us to believe... or something"
"I'm just, not inspired right now"
"It usually comes from the most unexpected of places"
"Everything you just said, sounds like a line out of a fairytale"
"Henry" Emma said chuckling "come on, you never know what's right around the corner"
"Henry didn't respond for a moment his mother's tone wasn't convincing, trying his best to think of a new subject to discuss, Emma was quietly frustrated, she wanted Henry to believe in happily ever after even if she didn't. To have hope, but without any herself, she didn't know how she could possibly inspire him, to believe there was more to life then this. However, it didn't take long before Henry remembered something he'd been waiting to ask Emma about, a perfect way to change the subject.
"You haven't told me what happened with that raise?" He asked curiously.
"I haven't told you, because it's not going to happen,"
"That's insane, you run that place"
"It's not that simple Henry." she said with a small shrug.
"I wish it was"
"It's fine, I like my job as it is"
Henry sighed quietly seeing through his mother's lie, his gaze went down to the end of the street trying to distance himself from this moment. Knowing Emma was lying, only in a misguided attempt to protect him and in a way herself, but this wasn't the only lie, her life was full of them. It had become a coping tactic Emma had refined, convincing herself every time something started to fall apart, it was just a bad day. Like wrapping tape over a leaking pipe, but now it seemed there was only tape holding together every aspect of her life. There were moments however, when the truth broke through, making it impossible to deny the leaks, as the water poured out soaking her. Henry stood up letting out a deep sigh, noticing a car out of the corner of his eye, coming towards them and began walking down the steps to the sidewalk in a huff. Thinking on what his mother had said earlier, about not knowing what's around the corner, maybe she was right, but in this case, he was better off, not hoping.
"Better go, before I miss the school bus" he said, looking back up to her.
"Have a good day, dinners in the fridge, I left the heating instructions on the bench" Emma called out, as he walked off.
Henry was familiar with the microwave, his mother had been working double shifts for the past six months, almost every day. But Emma always had food left for him, it was the best she could do. However, if Henry was being honest, he would feel better just having her there at the dinner table, these morning chats were the only time they could spend together, most days.
While she watched Henry make his way to the bus stop, Emma noticed what had made him get up so abruptly. Coming down the street at a crawl was a police cruiser, her heart started to race while she breathed in deep. Please don't stop, please don't stop, she said over and over in her head. But wishing would not work, it never did, the car slowed at the curb out the front of their house, as suspected.
"Have a good day at school bud" Neal called out to Henry, getting out of the car casually.
Henry didn't even turn around to wave, in fact he picked up the pace, disappearing around the corner. Neal watched sorrowful, but his guilt never made anything better, it certainly didn't make him a better father.
Now keep out of trouble" the man said, giving Neal a stern look.
"Of course, thanks for the ride, Sherriff" he said with a smirk.
"Yeah, your lucky I was already coming this way" he mumbled, stepping back into the car and driving off.
Neal hesitated by the curb for a moment, knowing he'd have to explain himself to Emma, who hadn't moved from the steps, still sipping her beverage. Trying to enjoy the peaceful moment for just a little bit longer, eventually Neal's need for sleep took over, he stammered up the courage to walk up the steps and face Emma.
"Are you ok?" she asked.
"Great" he responded sarcastically.
"Neal, what happened? I assumed you already left for work, did you even come home last night?" she asked terrified.
Realising now, Henry was home alone until Emma finished her shift, at four in the morning. There was no time to dwell on it now, knowing Henry was safe headed off to school, but her stomach had already turned to knots, thinking about it.
"No, got held up" Neal said bitter, walking past Emma and back into their house.
"What about your shift this morning?" she asked, following Neal inside, her fists clenched.
"Seen as I no longer work there; I don't think they'll miss me" he said, while he began scrummaging through the fridge for food.
"We needed that money Neal" Emma replied, exasperated, trying her best not to let the tears slip out.
"Emma, I spent the night in lockup, I'm tired, can we do this later?" he answered flustered, before stuffing some cold leftover pizza, into his mouth.
"Sure" she replied frustrated, letting out a deep breath.
Seeing the sadness in Emma's eyes, guilt swept over Neal, and he came over to her while she promptly turned her back to him, knowing from the look in his eye what he was about to do. Taking her hand softly, Neal eventually managed to get Emma to look him in the eye again, and he put his best sympathetic expression on, his standard tactic when he knew he was wrong.
"You look beautiful today"
"I know, and just because you are trying to be sweet, doesn't mean your off the hook" Emma said, trying not to smile as she looked into his eyes, those same eyes that once brought her such joy.
A loud crash and bang, rang out, through their home, the sound had originated from the neighbouring house, this wasn't unusual, just another frustrating part of their life here.
"Shut up, dammit" Neal yelled.
Constant racket day and night and yet they continued to tolerate it, the truth was Neal treated Emma the same as he did, the noisy neighbours, as if she were a burden on his life. Ignorant to all that Emma did in a day, to just keep a roof over their heads and food on the table.
"What are we going do, Neal?"
"I'll have a new job by the end of the week"
"You promise" she replied, sarcastically.
"Yeah, everything's gonna work out, like it always does" he said confident, before leaning in for a quick kiss, but Emma backed away.
"I don't know what fairytale you're living in; things aren't working out Neal"
He looked away ashamed, Emma was right nothing had ever worked out for them, both had to grow up fast and alone, they only ever had each other, until Henry entered their world. Lately, it seemed their son was the only reason they still stuck around each other, never moving forward, that's exactly what they were now, stuck. Neither able to let go of the idea, of being a happy family, not letting their truth be a reality, simply tolerating each other and their life together.