It doesn't mean much

It doesn't mean anything at all

The life I've left behind me

Is a cold room

I've crossed the last line

From where I can't return

Where every step I took in faith

Betrayed me

The Colors of my Heart

My name is Kagura Narita, though I prefer Kagura Hamasaki. I believe myself to be a strong woman, with a strong character and a tough personality with lots of dignity, honor and a grace full of poise. The eastern belief, no the worldly belief is that a woman cannot be strong. I will not bend. If someone takes your honor, that dignity that you worked so hard to posses, you would go through any an every obstacle in your way to get it back. That's exactly what I've done.

I tried to be tolerant and reasonable, but there have been far too many blows and the damage is now irreversible. If my dear neurotic husband thinks he can get away with humiliating me, thinking he can expose me, that he could get even by sleeping with a slut I once called friend, he's mistaken. I've worked too hard to get where I am now in the world. He's an idiot just like his fool father. So I've decided to deal with him in the same way I deled with my beloved father-in-law.

She picked her Motorola out of her purse as she did almost 95 kilometers per hour. With the aid of her teeth she opened it, and rapidly dialed the numbers 77 on her speed dial. She waited and turned down the volume on her Audi's radio. Finally some one picked up.

"Moshi Moshi." A male voice began through her phone on the other line.

"Yes, hello, is Takemaru there please?" she asked impatiently.

"This is him, how may I help you Miss?"

"This is Kagura Hamasaki, I don't know if you remember me or not?"

"How could I forget my Kaze no Hana! What brings you to call after so long?"

"Do you still work with Ryuukotsuei?"

"My one and only cousin and partner of course I still work with him."

"Good, I have a job for you both again."

"Oh really? Do tell."

"Remember Toga Narita. Well I want you to take care of his son the same way you would Toga."

"Right, Which one?"

"The oldest, my Husband Sesshomaru Narita. And that reminds me, I hope you have a two for one special."

"Maybe Winds, well see."

"There is a girl, her name is Rin Yamaguchi. I'll give you all her information at a designated location. Somewhere more private."

"Alright Winds, where do we meet and at what time?"

"Today at the Starbucks near Shibuya. Around six thirty tonight. Is that good?"

"Perfect, babe, I'll tell Ryuukotsuei to be there as well."

"That'll do Takemaru, Thanks for everything again."

"No problem beautiful, for you anything."

"One more little detail Takemaru, never call me babe again. Ja ne Takemaru."

"See ya at six winds I'-"

She hung up the phone with a swift flick of her wrist.

'This will prove to be interesting.' She thought as she pulled up into the garage of the apartments.

'The sky seems so peaceful from here, like nothing ever bothers it, as if all the problems surrounding us are barely a tickle, a frivolous thing that floats in the wind.'

His classic stance, right hand draped over his right knee, left leg stretched out before him. Head raised to the sky, well in this case, a cell window.

"Why does it seem the world is on my shoulders?" he asked to no one in particular.

"Talking to yourself again, huh, Sesshomaru?" This was the voice of Jaken Gama, one of the inmates and Sesshomaru's cellmate. He was a little toad of a man, short in stature and pudgy, with an outward mouth that resembled a beak and he was a sickly green hue. Jaken was in prison for setting his ex girl friend's house on fire.

"You want to talk about it Narita?"

"No I –"

"Come on Sessho now were al herrrrreee!" Sesshomaru groaned, Jakotsu was in his cell. Jakotsu was part of the main gang there in the jail. They called themselves the Shichinin-tai.

"Tell us Narita, was goin' on." Bankotsu had arrived as well. He was the leader and head of the Shichinin-tai. Sesshomaru sighed. There was a group forming now, he believed in respect for another's privacy, but when the boss tells you to do something you do it. Shichinin-tai and Sesshomaru were on good terms.

"You guys know that I'm here for statutory rape right?" He hated the way it sounded.

"Yes, and you know than her for sexual harassment, first-degree murder, second de –" Some one cut Jakotsu off. "We don't care Jakotsu, don't interrupt Narita!" Sesshomaru began to rub his temples.

"I got a visit today, it was my wife." The group erupted into laughter. Comments of all sorts were heard until Bankotsu raised his hand and all was silent." You mean to say that that little babe is your wife Narita?' Sesshomaru just nodded his head. " This little broad that you fucked better be worth it all if you took the bait and left a piece like the one I saw today." Silence. "Continue." Commanded Bankotsu.

"Basically my wife came and bitched and cried, laughed and bitched some more, and that was basically it."

"That's it!" Renkotsu shouted from somewhere in the middle. "Yea." Sesshomaru responded.

"You are such a drama queen Jakotsu, you told us that Narita had big ass problems and that his wife royally screwed him over!" Jakotsu just smiled. And the Sesshomaru was laughing.

"My wife screws everyone else before she screws me over!" They all stared at him and then all began to laugh and yelling for him to give them her phone number. "So what was it really Narita, I mean your bitch screaming at you for taking the jail bait and all that shit, it couldn't just be about that If she's the whore you say she is."

"Yes, you're right, she told me lots of shit I never wanted to hear or believe, family matters and shit."

"She hit home, huh, Narita?" Bankotsu asked.

"Yes she did."

Just then the Warden came and was blowing the whistle. "Back to your cells! Time for ritual checks, lights out!"

"Be seeing you Narita." Bankotsu waved as he walked away his long braid of hair swaying behind him. Soon all of the men were gone and only Sesshomaru and Jaken were left.

There were two bunk beds, one against the back wall and the other on the right wall. Jaken slept on the bottom on one side, and Sesshomaru slept on the top of the one closest to the window. They were in clear view of each other. Sesshomaru took his classic musing stance.

"Sesshomaru, I know you are still troubled. Talking to another always helps. I will be glad to help you."

"Thank you Jaken." He sighed. Then he began to speak.

"I never loved my wife Jaken. I married as a last request of my dying father, it was almost like an arranged marriage. After the wedding I did try to love her, I really did. I tried to harbor at least a spark of affection, but it never worked out between us. The only thing we had going was lust or the need of having a partner. In the beginning of our second year of marriage, I was searching for some papers to take to my office. As I rummaged through the files I found Abortion papers and bills all in her name. She had never told me about her pregnancy, and I never suspected anything because we always used protection. Then it hit me. It probably wasn't mine. After that in the following months my wife was moping around a lot and really trying to connect with children. She didn't know that I knew of her abortion and I suspected she felt guilty. I imagine abortion is a hard process to go through. In that time period she was hanging out with her friends younger sisters and playing with her sisters kids a lot too. Until one day she brought a young girl home. The jail bait. My wife raved on and on about her new little friend. At first I recognized the girls' beauty and let it slide. I wasn't in love at first sight, I was just acknowledging her good looks. She really is beautiful. At first it was pleasant having her around, it was "cute" I guess but the longer she stayed with us the more attached we all became. She even became good friend with all of our friends. Did I forget to mention that she's an orphan? That was an advantage in some ways. Every time Kagura left me I used to take her out with my brother and just chill. We had fun. And every day I would see her as ore than a friend, and I used to beat myself up for it. I thought it was so wrong. She was just a girl of sixteen and I'm a grown man of twenty-five. I knew I had to take those thoughts out of my head as soon as possible. Then around June two of our friends were getting married. I was with Kagura but when the reception came about she disappeared. I was sullen, I hated the way she made me look. I was going to get a drink, when I saw her. She was all alone, sitting in a corner she was perfect, just perfect. But she was frowning. I went and walked over to talk to her. Pretty soon we were laughing on how our dates had ditched us. I stared at her sparkling eyes full of mischief and excitement. I told her that we could get out of there, just us, and go out. She laughed and said that we could ditch every one like they had ditched us. I remember everything perfectly. Her wind blown hair, her flushed cheeks. They way her red dress bounced when we ran. At the end of the escapade I took her to a nice restaurant outside of the city. I had a few drinks and got drunk. I told her all my problems and she comforted me. I never imagined she felt something for me. In her attempt to make me feel better I ended up with her on my lap, kissing until we couldn't breathe. She hadn't had anything to drinkso I knew that she wasn't under the influence, she knew what she was doing. She drove us to her place. It was probably around three in the morning. We went upstairs and I screamed for her inside, but I gathered up my thoughts and knew that it was wrong. We didn't do anything, and I knew that I had hurt her that night. But I knew that her first time had to be special and not like that. I felt like shit. My wife might have been ok with cheating, but I wasn't. I fought my body with every thing I had and left her apartment. I hated when my bitch of a wife ruined every thing. That night was the best of both worlds. Even though I had hurt the girl I knew what I was going to do. That night I knew that I loved her, and next time my wife wouldn't ruin it." Jaken just stared at Sesshomaru with wide eyes.

"That was an interesting story, but what does it have to do with your wife visiting you and you getting all bummed out?"

Sesshomaru moved his head out of his favorite pose and looked straight at Jaken.

"My wife came and told me that I was just like my father."

Jaken just raised his eyebrow.

"By that I mean that she knew I hated him, she knew how I never wanted to end up like him. I knew that there was something between them but I never dug deeper. But before my wife Kagura came into our lives there were other things. My father cheated on my mother. He was in a loveless marriage. But I never knew that until recently. He cheated on her with my now half-brother's mother. She was young and beautiful, just like Rin."

"Rin?" asked Jaken.

"She's the jail bait."

"So what happened to them, your parents that is?"

"When my mother found out she tried to kill Izayoi, my brothers mom. They stopped her and m father cut the rumors and all the other scandals that might have ruined our company. My mother escaped to somewhere in Europe, not sure where but around Romania. I was still a kid when all this happened, and never hearing from my mother again, I blamed it all on my father. I felt rage against him and his new bride. But now I understand him and everything he did. I felt horrible when it all dawned on me. My father died knowing that I hated him. I didn't even go see him on his deathbed. My half brother is all that I have left. Even Izayoi died a few months after my father. We suspected it was from a broken heart. These past five years haven't been good to me. But when Rin came in to my life, it was like the sun peeking out from gray skies. She's the greatest thing that's ever happened to me, and I'll be damned if I loose her too." Sesshomaru had reclaimed his previous stance, looking out into the night, but this time his fist was clenched.

As I walked off the train and onto the platform I gazed at the crowd before me. In the sea of chaos I looked down and checked my watch. I would have driven here but traffic was a bitch. All these people don't know who I am, and all of the terrible things I have done. They had it coming I suppose, every last one of them. I do what I have to do to survive, and to be successful. It's a dog eat dog world. I know I deserve things so much better and fulfilling. I know it. I glanced back at my watch, 6:25, right on time. I walked out of the station, my black Menolos clacking against the pavement, my black skirt down to my knees, hugging my hips and then flowing freely at the bottom. My white blouse was open just above the curve of my breasts. This was pure business. I walked about two blocks before reaching the Starbucks that knew to be toga's executioner. I only walls could talk. And then again it's a good thing they don't.

I walked inside and ordered a Moccachino, my personal favorite. When it was ready I made my way to the cleanest table at the far most corner on the left side of the building, our old meeting table. I looked out of the glass windows and for a split second I thought I saw Sesshomaru. I gasped and nearly jumped out of my seat. Maybe it was a sign, maybe I should just call everything off and just go back to the apartment and just ask for the god damned divorce. I loved Sesshomaru I really did, in my own special way. I loved him like I loved my wifehood. Something to be respected and tolerated. I couldn't help my body's needs, it was just something that Sesshomaru couldn't help me with. Or maybe I loved him because he looked just like his father the resemblance is uncanny. I would be a hypocrite to hate Sesshomaru because he cheated on me that wasn't what angered me. Not even the Rin factor bothered me that much either. The fact that I hated him was because he didn't respect the title our marriage had. To him I wasn't his wife and never will be. In his eyes I'm just a whore, a nobody, another bother to put up with. Well he has another thing coming. If he thinks he can treat me like dirt and just shake me off, he's gonna have to pay the consequences just like his old man.

On the wall clock it read 6:45. They're late. I took another sip of my coffee, I knew I should have brought some form of reading material. Being in this place brings back memories. Back to the years before I married Sesshomaru, back to when I planned the death of Sesshomaru's father and his dammed woman Izayoi. But to get to that point I have to go deeper, back to my past.

I would like to say that I had a rough life, it would give an edge, but no. I was a normal girl raised in a middle class home, sometimes struggling and sometimes doing just fine. The pride of my parents, with golden grades and nice friends, living in an okay neighborhood, yet it didn't make me happy. I was born with an ambition, a will to rebel, I knew I could get to the top and become something great. That feeling ate me alive. When I was fourteen I began to express that part of me that I could never show. It was a rebirth, needless to say not everyone agreed with it. The more they objected, the more I began to get in touch with that "Bad Girl" I wanted to be. I began to explore the world more sexually, more maturely. It went on for some years. I got around a lot, an I knew things most people just dreamed of knowing. By the time I got out of high school, I secretly married a man who had made a fortune in smuggling illegal car parts into Russia and the United States. He was 75 and I was 18. He died to some months later, and I swear I had nothing to do with it. Contrary to popular belief I didn't want his money. I wanted his status. His two sons and daughter were older than I was. They got his company, his house, and part of his fortune. I made off with a clean 10 million and a fully furnished apartment in Tokyo. Naraku was my ex husband's attorney. He took me in and showed me the ropes of the corporate world. In all of this he introduced me to Toga, and his development company, Western Lands Developing. Toga was great and Naraku convinced him to see me. I wanted to invest in his company, and of this he was eager to see me. To him I was just a woman with lots of investing money and lots of connections. As one of his best investors he introduced me to his family. With time we became close and he even told me about his previous wife and the heated affair with Izayoi.. I was the daughter he never had. For a while things were fine, until I figured out that what I felt for Toga was more than daughterly love.

One night we were alone in his office and it was late. I remember asking him if he loved me. He just smiled and said that he loved me just like a daughter. But I shook my head and asked if there was something more to it. He was stunned, I began to make my way towards him, unbuttoning my jacket and then the rows of my blouse. He shook his head and tried to stop me with out stretched arms, but I was unwavering. I straddled him on his black leather executive armchair. He tried to push me away but I grabbed his hands and kissed his fingers. I pushed into him, but there was no response. That was the biggest shock for me. He grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me. He explained that he loved Izayoi and that he could never betray her. He told me he loved me too but in a different way. He told me how wrong it was, and that I was almost young enough to be his daughter. Tears were streaming down my face. In a rage of sadness I quickly collected my blazer and clumsily tried to put on my heels and ran out of his office. He just rubbed his temples over and over. I ran into the closest women's bathroom and just spilled my heart out to the sink and the mirror. His rejection hurt more than anything I could have imagined. I must have been there for at least some twenty minutes. I made up my mind, in the bathroom I fixed my hair and makeup and walked out with my head held high. I made my way to the parking lot of the offices. I glance and noticed that Toga still hadn't left. I jumped into my black Lexus and didn't look back. On my cell phone, I dialed as fast as my fingers could go. I called a man called Takemaru, one of my best acquaintances, an active member of the Yakuza. I asked him to meet me here in this same Starbucks right then and there. Once her I lied by telling him that Toga had raped me. I even cried. He was furious and told me no to worry, he said that he and his partner Ryuukotsusei would restore my honor. They planned to rid me of Toga Narita. After our little meeting Toga was suddenly struck with a strange illness. A month later Toga was dead. Before he died, to my "luck" Toga told his oldest to marry me, that he knew I could make him happy. Lord knows why Toga did it. He knew it would hurt me. He probably knew I was involved in his death. But he gave me his son. Did Toga ever love me? Would he forgive me if he were still here?

Everyday I regret what I did all those years ago. I should have forgotten about him, left this accursed city. I have thought of every possible thing that I could have done so that I could see Toga's face once more. I guess that is my punishment in another way. I am forever cursed to see Toga in Sesshomaru. It's useless to think of the past now. I swear that I will have my justice on Sesshomaru and his little bitch.

"Hey winds, its been a while." A man said. I looked up and there was Takemaru and his partner Ryuukotsusei.

"You look good Takemaru and so do you Ryuu."

"Like wise." Said Ryuukotsusei.

"Now winds, you said you have another problem, tell us, what is it now." Takemaru took a sip of my coffee.

"I would like it if you wouldn't speak to me as if I were a nuisance I am willing to pay you this time Takemaru, I'm not asking for favors. And second, don't drink my coffee, go get your own."

"So feisty winds, but please, the tell us what you want us to do."

"Alright listen up, I already told you I want you to do away with Sesshomaru and his little whore Rin. This time don't make his death seem so suspicious. Sesshomaru's not an old man like Toga, having him suddenly die would be very mysterious. Don't blow him up either, they'll point the finger directly at me. I had a fight today with him at the penitentiary, if anything would happen they would know I was involved."

I ordered a new coffee while I left Takemaru and Ryuukotsusei thinking. When I got back they had formulated an idea.

"Look winds we have friends in that same house. Now we could have them deal with Narita from the inside, problem is that it'll cost ya babe."

"What do you mean Takemaru?"

"What he means is that it won't just be us pulling off this little operation off anymore, there will be more people involved, and knowing those guys, they'll want to get paid." Ryuukotsusei said. I didn't look very convincing because Takemaru quickly added that he would never cheat me and that the price would be reasonable.

"Ver well then, I trust you guys, and if you can pull this little operation off cleanly and quickly I will compensate you very well. But now I have a second problem. I need you to get rid of Rin Yamaguchi." I pulled out a manila folder from my purse.

"In this you will find all of her information, her address, her blood type, her school schedule, her shoe size, whatever you need to get rid of her is in this folder. So do me a favor and don't loose it." I took another sip of my coffee, "Oh and do me a favor, don't make her death look suspicious either." I gathered my things and got up. "When you boys finish everything give me a call and fill me in on all the steps you've been taking and tell me the progress of our little business deal."

"You got winds." Takemaru said.

"Yes, ma'am" Ryuukotsusei followed.

I waved to them as I walked out of the door coffee in hand. Suddenly all that regret and fear had left me, and all that was left was an angry sense of smugness.

"Alright rise and shine ladies!" I groaned, 'how much more of this do I have to take' I thought. Then I remembered my talk with Jaken from the previous night and I made up my mind. I am going to get out of here. I rose quickly and headed straight to a booth to make a phone call. It was then that the Shichinin-tai stopped me.

'Listen Narita we heard you talking last and well…"

"If there's anything we can do to help, you know you've got buddies here." Said Bankotsu.

"Thanks guys, I'm going to take care of that right now as a matter of fact. I'm going to call my brother and get me the best damned lawyer in Tokyo."

"Alright Narita, that's great." Soon they had all left leaving me to make my phone call. I dialed Inuyasha's number as fast as I could. Then the dial tone came up and then that annoying sound did too. It was busy. I was pissed. I tried dialing his cell phone and it was ringing. Thank god I thought.

"Hello?" It was Inuyasha.

"Hello little brother, I don't think you could ever guess who this is?"

"Sesshomaru you bastard, what the hell-"

"Get your ass over here Inuyasha and pay the bail! After that you will call Naraku and tell him to get on my case A.S.A.P!"

"All right all right, whatever you want little princess. God I'm hauling my butt out the door this instant!"

"Good job Inuyasha. But can you go a little faster."

"Oi Sesshomaru if you keep acting like this I won't do shit!"

"Oh and Inuyasha call Rin and tell her you are picking her up."

"What! Are you stupid Sesshomaru! She's being watched!"

"That's exactly why you are picking her up."

"You are one crazy bastard Sesshomaru, but whatever, if you get caught and get your ass hauled back to jail it is not my fault!"

"Thanks Inuyasha you are one in a million."

"I hate you, you bastard, I'll fucking show you –" I hung up on him before he could say any more of his stupid insults.

Now I relaxed, soon I would be out of this stupid mess and have Rin by my side again.

I hope this chapter was worth the wait, longer than usual for all of you. Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year!!!!