For those of you who are not American or were born well after 1941, this chapter's title is a parody of a lyric to a popular 1941 American song.
Chapter 17
Pardon Me Boy, is This the Hogsmeade-Destined Choo Choo?
Sunday, 1 September 1991, 8 a.m
Azkaban Prison
The ten Death Eaters who had been imprisoned since 1981—Bellatrix Lestrange, Antonin Dolohov and that lot—were found dead. Apparently during the night, they had been stabbed to death, by means of an Muggle ice pick entering the heart or the base of the skull, each inside his or her cell.
The Aurors had no suspects and no theories how the crimes had been committed, but they had plenty of motive.
Two hours later, 10:04 a.m
King's Cross Station
Dan and Emma were missing a half-day of work, but they did not care. This morning they intended to drive Hermione (and Harry, John, Paulina and Sirius) to King's Cross Station, and to see the magical students off. The people-carrier was crowded—but not as crowded as it would have been, had not shrinking-charms been thrown around like confetti, to shrink trunks and cages.
(Who were the cages for? John had bought Harry a snowy white owl on his birthday; and about a week later, Paulina had gifted Hermione with a mutant orange cat.)
Sirius never before had entered Platform 9¾ from the Muggle side (King's Cross Platforms 9 and 10), so this was a new experience for him. It was a new experience for the dental Grangers too, because Sirius was holding their hands when he walked through the magical barrier.
John saw the wizard-raised adults and older students on Platform 9¾ sneer at the mostly no-magic-dressed group of Potters, Grangers and Black; but the group from Crawley did not care.
Only one magical person approached the Grangers-Potters-Black group with a smile on his face: Remus Lupin.
Once the Granger parents were at Platform 9¾, both their Muggle clothing, and all the rubbernecking they were doing, clued onlookers that they were Muggles.
At the other clothing extreme, Sirius was wearing gray acromantula-silk wizard robes that proclaimed him to be Lord Black. (Sirius had worn the robes all the way from the Granger house; but until he had passed through the magical barrier, he had glamoured his robes to look like a gray Muggle suit.)
Young Hermione was wearing her unsorted-firstie robes. The right sleeve of those robes marked Hermione as a Potter Protectée; many wizard-raised magicals startled when they noticed this.
The other magicals who had come with the Granger parents—Harry, John and Paulina—were dressed Mundane. Eighteen-year-old buxom Paulina was wearing a form-fitting, knee-length, quarter-sleeved white dress and white three-inch heels, an ensemble that would not have rated her a third glance in Harrods; but on Platform 9¾, her outfit was a showstopper.
One blond little girl on Platform 9¾ did not sneer at Paulina (though her mother did); the blond firstie girl stared at Paulina in awe. The girl murmured "May I be excused?" but did not wait for an answer. The blond child then rushed over to the blond young woman.
The girl stopped in front of Paulina and almost begged, "Are you going to Hogwarts? Please tell me you're going to Hogwarts."
Paulina recognized the girl instantly, but could not guess why this particular girl had started a conversation.
"I will attend Hogwarts, yes," Paulina replied—the girl's eyebrows rose, hearing Paulina's Georgia accent. "What's your name, sugar? Why do you want to know whether I'm attending Hogwarts?"
"I'm Miss Lavender Brown of Elder House Brown," the girl said, curtsying, "and you may make free with my first name. I'm hoping you'll teach me how to be a fashion trendsetter like you."
Paulina returned the curtsy, then introduced herself and the rest of their group. Lavender actually looked at Harry Potter in confusion—maybe because she had not noticed her yearmate till Paulina had pointed him out; but Lavender also was confused because Harry wore no glasses and he had no forehead scar.
Paulina then looked at Lavender and said, "You are wizard-raised and British; I'm neither. If you want to know the rules of fashion for a British witch, I don't know those rules and I have no wish to learn them—sorry, Miss Brown. I suggest you owl Madam Malkin if you want to learn those rules."
"All right," Lavender said, sounding disappointed.
"But sugar, if you want to know how to be a fashion trendsetter, I can teach you everything you need to know, right now on this platform."
"Tell me, tell me!"
"It's not fashion knowledge that makes you a trendsetter, it's confidence. It's an attitude of I know I dress differently from all the other witches, but I'm sure I look good. Other witches will sense that."
Lavender thanked Paulina, dropped another curtsy, then walked back to her parents while looking thoughtful.
John murmured to Paulina, "How ironic, Lavender asking her one-time nerdy roommate for fashion advice."
Paulina replied, "But I'm not that girl anymore. The young woman who fought in the Battle of Hogwarts would be dressing like a librarian now, if we'd won and you'd married Ginny. But instead, now I'm the Chosen One's soulmate, and I'm half of the couple that will vanquish Voldemort, neutralize Dumbledore, and shake up Wizarding Britain. Put those things all together and my attitude is I am Woman, hear me roar. Between my improved confidence and having boobs to die for, of course I'll dress to be noticed."
By the time Lavender had returned to her parents, Sirius had escorted Dan and Emma back through the magical barrier to Platforms 9 and 10 (after the Granger family had hugged the stuffing out of each other).
Then Sirius had returned to Platform 9¾. Immediately he found Remus on the platform, and led him over to the Potters plus Hermione.
Meanwhile, grinning Hermione in her new Hogwarts robes was looking about Platform 9¾ as though she were standing in the middle of Disneyland. She casually let her left hand, which was dangling down by her side, brush against Harry's right hand.
"Harry, we're going to Hogwarts!"
"We are."
"I'm so excited!"
"I ... sort-of am?"
"Hogwarts will be so much more fun with you there, Harry."
Harry Potter did not reply; instead, he took Hermione's hand that was within easy reach.
Many witches, fourth-year and younger, groaned when Harry took Hermione's hand. Maybe Harry did not notice those groans of envy—but Hermione did.
One blond witch, whose days as a Slytherin student were long ago, looked at the no-scar, glasses-less Boy Who Lived holding hands with the bushy-haired girl and thought, I smell a story.
The blond witch casually strolled over to the public Floo. Then she placed herself so that her back was to the Floo and the Platform 9¾ crowd was in front of her.
When the blonde was sure that nobody was looking her way, she transformed into a water beetle.
Beetle-Rita could not decide yet how she would slant her upcoming story—"HARRY POTTER FINDS FIRST LOVE" or "HARRY POTTER, FUTURE DEVIANT."
Meanwhile, Sirius murmured to John, "Follow me. I see someone whom Harry needs to meet."
Sirius took the lead, and strode over to the part of Platform 9¾ where Senior Auror Kingsley Shacklebolt (in red robes) and Auror Cadet Tonks (in gray robes) were standing.
Sirius and "Shack" backslapped and playfully insulted each other; introductions to the three Potters, to Hermione, and to Remus then followed.
Everyone nearby was looking at Lord Black and the dark-skinned Senior Auror whilst those two acted like clowns; nobody was looking at Harry Potter's bushy-haired friend. Beetle-Rita landed in the girl's hair.
Still-grinning Sirius stepped in front of Auror Cadet Tonks and grabbed her shoulders. "Oh my, look at you! Little Nymphadora Tonks, all grown up and on her way to becoming an Auror."
Shacklebolt did not laugh at his trainee's expression—but he did grin.
John saw Tonks's pink hair instantly turn red; Harry and Hermione gasped. Tonks growled, "It's 'Tonks.' Just 'Tonks.' You know I hate my first name, cousin."
Sirius said cheerfully, "Now Nymmie, is this any way to speak to Lord Sirius Black who, as Lord Black, restored your mother and you to the Black family?"
"My apologies, Lord Black," Tonks growled.
Sirius waved off the apology. "Speaking of the Black family, Nymmie, I came over to humble the bald troll here"—Sirius grinned at Shacklebolt—"but mainly to introduce you to Harry Potter. His grandmother was Dorea Black Potter, so you and he are related. Nymmie, let me introduce to you Harry James Potter, the Boy Who Lived"—Sirius rolled his eyes. "Harry, this is Nymphadora Tonks, but don't ever call her that. She's some sort of cousin to you."
Young Harry grinned at the pink-haired Auror-to-be. "I like your hair; I wish I could do that. So glad to meet you!"
Enthusiastic Harry shook Tonks's hand, John noticed, as though he were trying to hand-pump a well all the way dry.
Tonks looked at Harry and said, "My mum's been trying to find you for ten years. She wanted to raise you. But Dumbledore blocked everything she tried."
"Dumbledore again," Paulina snarled. "He's caused Harry a million times as much misery as Voldemort has."
Shacklebolt looked confused by Paulina's words.
John asked Tonks (while already knowing the answer), "Your mother is Andromeda Black Tonks, right?"
Tonks nodded.
"Sister to Narcissa and Bellatrix, right?"
Tonks nodded.
"A healer who works at Saint Mungo's, right?"
When Tonks nodded, John continued, "I'd like to ask your mother to do a favor to Harry and Hermione here. I'm willing to pay generously for the favor."
Tonks asked cautiously, "What is the favour?"
"To teach Harry and Hermione"—Sirius gestured toward the bushy-haired first-year—"everything about the British Pureblood world that British Purebloods sneer at no-magic-raised magicals for not knowing."
Then John lowered his voice. "And maybe I'd also hire her to tutor Harry and Hermione in Potions. Potions Professor Snape has earned himself quite an awful reputation in the USA."
Tonks smiled. "Regent John Potter, I'm going to owl Mum as soon as I can. I make no promises, but I don't expect her to tell you no."
By now, the two Aurors plus Sirius, Remus, the three Potters, and Hermione, all were surrounded by ten or fifteen eleven-year-olds, who all were listening closely. Little Susan Bones stepped forward and said nervously, "Pardon me, but did I overhear someone say that the boy with you is Harry Potter?"
In this group of eleven-year-olds, all but one were awestruck at meeting the Boy Who Lived.
Zacharias Smith, on the other hand, stood with his arms crossed. He called Harry a liar, because Harry did not have the forehead scar. He demanded that Harry "Prove it!" when Harry, quite confused by the boy's sneers, stated he was indeed Harry Potter.
John said to Smith, "It doesn't work that way, junior. You're not only calling Harry a liar, you're calling Lord Black a liar, and you're calling me the Potter Regent, my wife and Hermione all liars too. You say Harry isn't the real Harry Potter? You prove it! This or you apologize, then shut up."
Red-faced Smith mumbled something that had sorry in it, then walked away.
John saw Draco Malfoy standing to one side, watching the dispute but saying nothing. Draco looked puzzled. Crabbe and Goyle stood behind him.
John saw no sign of any redheaded Weasley anywhere. He wondered if they all had yet to arrive; or were they all on the other side of the barrier, while Molly Weasley brayed about "packed with Muggles of course"?
Harry looked nervous and panicky about all the "Boy Who Lived" attention, so John said a quick goodbye to Sirius and Remus, then led Paulina, Harry and Hermione onto the train.
Once the four had chosen a compartment and had stored everything in the overhead racks, John cast a "Ron Weasley Notice-Me-Not" Charm on the compartment door.
John did not lay down an equivalent charm for Draco Malfoy. Paulina had told John that she wanted Draco to drop by.
When John cast his "Ron Weasley Notice-Me-Not" Charm, the time was 10:26. The real Ron Weasley was not on the Express then; the Weasley family was not even nearby at King's Cross. At 10:26, Ron still was back at the Burrow, packing his trunk. (He had not begun to fill his trunk till after breakfast; and with Ron, breakfast never was a brief event.)
Later at King's Cross, but before departure
John had been talking to the three others in their compartment when he noticed that there was a water beetle in Hermione's bushy hair.
John casually drew his wand, saying, "Hold on, I just noticed the window is dirty. Let me clean it."
John did point his wand at the window—but then he abruptly swung his wand around to point at Hermione's hair. "Stupefy."
It was John's intent that Hermione be unaffected by the Stunning Charm; so Hermione was not stunned, but she was certainly alarmed. After Hermione screamed, she demanded, "Why did you do that, you prat?"
As soon as Paulina saw John conjure a little glass jar with a screw-on lid, she asked, "Rita?"
As John levitated the stunned bug into the jar, he replied, "Yeah. Rita was in Hermione's hair."
John explained to the children, "Rita Skeeter is a vicious and lying newspaper reporter who goes places she's not allowed to go, by turning into a beetle and hiding in people's hair..." A minute later, John and Paulina were grinning viciously, as John was saying, "...It's illegal to not register your animagus form. You're sentenced to a fine and/or prison time if you're arrested for this. Then there's Rita, who is in a class all her own. Someone who has sneaked into meetings at the Ministry probably will get much prison time."
As John opened the compartment door, with the jar containing one stunned water beetle in hand, he said to the others, "I'll be back in a few, with a tale to tell."
When John was away from the compartment, where the three others could not see what he did, he Obliviated the last fifteen minutes from Beetle-Rita's memory, just in case.
When John handed the jar to Kingsley Shacklebolt, John spun a tale of "I noticed this beetle in Hermione's hair, which was odd. Even more odd, the beetle wasn't crawling around her hair, and the bug was facing forward. This made me suspicious. I stunned the water beetle, put it on the floor, and cast Homorphus animagi," the animagus-to-human spell. "Jackpot."
It was Tonks who pointed out that Rita in her beetle form was spying on two eleven-year-olds. Tonks's hair turned red as she said this. Then she added, "I predict that Rita will be a guest of Minister Bones for a long, long time."
At 11:00, the Hogwarts Express began to move. Hermione grinned, she beamed, she smiled like she just had been handed a pillowcase filled with gold coins. Paulina and John, seeing this, smiled at each other.
Harry looked thoughtful.
Hermione, in her excitement, hugged Harry and kissed him on the cheek. Harry hugged her back.
Even as Hermione was grinning with excitement and was hugging Harry, she saw Paulina draw her wand. Paulina did not point her wand at anyone or anything, but held the wand straight up. Paulina incanted Set alarum 12:17, then Hermione saw the wand flash yellow for a second. Paulina then calmly put her wand back in her forearm wand holster.
"What did you just do?" Hermione asked her older self.
"I turned my wand into an alarm clock. It's a spell I often have used over the years."
John said, "Yeah, the month before we took our OWLs, I don't think this woman woke up naturally even once."
Paulina huffed. "The results speak for themselves, John."
At 12:17
Abruptly Paulina stood up and said, "I think I'll take a stroll through the train."
Harry and Hermione looked at each other with curiosity. They knew Paulina was up to something, but they could not guess what she was about to do.
About twenty minutes later, Paulina returned to the compartment—along with a chubby and shy young boy with sandy-blond hair. The boy had a two-handed grip on a big, ugly toad.
Paulina said cheerfully, "Y'all, this is Neville Longbottom, another first-year. The toad tried to escape, but I helped Neville catch his toad."
John stood up and walked over to the nervous boy; John's hand was out to shake and he was wearing a big grin. "Neville Longbottom, I'm so glad to meet you!"
"You are?" Neville said.
John looked over at Harry and explained, "House Potter and House Longbottom have been allies for centuries."
Looking back at Neville, John said, "Anyway, Neville, I'm John Potter, seventh-year transfer student and the Potter Regent. I presume Paulina, my wife, already has introduced herself. These two other first-years are..."
Seconds later, Neville stared at Harry and stammered, "You-you are Harry Potter?"
Harry said, "Yeah. Big disappointment, right?"
John said, "Neville, please listen to me carefully: Everything you've been told about Harry—except that you're his godmother's son, and he is your godmother's son—are lies told to sell books. Harry's life is very different from what you think it is."
Harry said, "Neville and I are godbrothers? Cool."
John said, "And Neville, don't overlook Hermione"—who at the moment was holding hands with Harry. "If Paulina hadn't found you first, Hermione would've helped you find your toad—she's nice that way. Also, she's a genius—she's not famous now, but by next June, everyone in your year will know her name."
Paulina said, "Older years will know about her too, by the end of the year. Or so I predict."
Hermione blushed crimson.
Paulina said, "Neville sugar, I hope you'll stay here with us for the rest of the train trip. We want to know you better."
Neville's jaw dropped. "You want me to stay with you? Erm, sure, no problem, thanks for the invitation!"
By the time Draco Malfoy, Vincent Crabbe, and Gregory Goyle had entered Paulina's compartment, Harry, Hermione, and Neville were taste-testing the wide variety of magical candies that Paulina's husband John had bought the children.
Now Draco stepped forward, while looking nervously at John. "Good afternoon, sir, I am Draco Malfoy, Heir Malfoy. Am I correct that you are John Potter the Potter Regent?"
Paulina was shocked by this Draco's more cautious, less confident manner—he was nothing like the Draco she'd spent seven years of her life opposing. But then Paulina realized, This Draco can never threaten anyone with "Just wait till my father hears about this," because Lucius Malfoy already is dead in this timeline. Also, Draco might have seen our family acting friendly with Lord Sirius Black.
Meanwhile, John was replying, "Yes, I am John Potter the Potter Regent. This is my wife, Paulina Moffitt Potter; my second cousin and ward, Harry Potter; and my Protectée, Miss Hermione Granger of New House Granger."
To Paulina, Draco seemed confused when he looked at Hermione. A mudblood who was a House-Potter Protectée? Paulina figured Draco probably had no idea what to think about Hermione.
John meanwhile was saying to Draco, "Perhaps you already know Neville Longbottom, Heir Longbottom. He's here because he and Harry are each other's godbrother."
Neville nodded at Draco. "Heir Malfoy," he said coolly.
"Heir Longbottom," Draco replied, just as coolly.
John said to Draco, "May I ask you to introduce me to your companions, please?"
Heir Vincent Crabbe and Heir Gregory Goyle were introduced. John invited Crabbe and Goyle to sit down—"You three will be here awhile."
Draco clearly wondered what John meant by this.
Then John asked, "Heir Malfoy, what's on your mind?"
Draco still looked nervous. "I came here to offer Heir Potter introductions to other first-year children who also are members of long-magical families, especially children who are, like Heir Potter and myself, the Heir Primary or Heiress Primary in their House. Heir Potter would know, from the beginning, children his age who one day will be important."
"This is a generous offer you make, Heir Malfoy," John said in a skeptical voice. "What do you ask of Harry Potter the Boy Who Lived, in return?"
Draco looked at Harry. "Eventually I hope that House Malfoy and House Potter will make an alliance of some sort; or at least, never become enemies."
John looked at Harry. "This decision is yours. He's your age, and in six years you'll be Head of House Potter."
Harry stood up and walked toward Draco, his hand out. "Heir Draco Malfoy, today I neither accept your offer nor refuse your offer. But I thank you for taking time to make the offer."
To Paulina, Draco looked relieved as he shook Harry's hand.
After Draco broke the handshake, he eyeballed the three Potters, Hermione, and Neville; then bowed and said, "Thank you for your time. I'll let all of you go back to whatever—"
"Oh, please," Paulina said, "don't go yet, Draco Malfoy, great-great-grandson of Ramses Malfoy. Did you know that Hermione and I are each a third cousin of yours?"
"WHAT?"
Draco discovered that Mrs Potter had a handbag with purple beads on it. Now she reached in and pulled out a Relationship chart. Then Mrs Potter pulled out a bright-yellow Muggle stick, which made bright yellow, transparent, thick lines on the Relationship chart.
As Mrs Potter handed the Relationship chart to Draco, she commented, "Your great-grandfather, Pontius Malfoy, had a brother, Stefanus Malfoy. Stefanus was a latent—or in your words, a Squib. Stefanus Malfoy was forced by his father Ramses to leave the magical world and to leave the Malfoy family. Stefanus changed his name to Stephen Moffitt. Stephen Moffitt's son is my grandfather; Stephen Moffitt's daughter is Hermione's grandmother."
Indeed, the Relationship chart that Draco had been handed, unless the chart was a forgery, backed up Mrs Potter's claims. The Muggle bright-yellow lines were quite helpful at leading Draco to the most important information.
"But this is impossible!" shocked Draco blurted. "When someone becomes a Squib, their entire line becomes nonmagical!"
"Honestly, Mr Malfoy," Hermione huffed. "I can cast Lumos, I can cast Wingardium Leviosa, and I can fly a broom. I'm quite magical, thank you very much, despite Stefanus Malfoy the Squib being my great-grandfather. The same is true with Paulina, except she doesn't like brooms."
Paulina stared into Draco's eyes. "I point out something that maybe you don't realize. Hermione and I, we're no-magic-raised, not wizard-raised, because our great-great-grandfather, Ramses Malfoy, kicked a son out of the Malfoy family simply because the boy couldn't do magic! So don't blame Hermione and me if we don't know all your precious little Pureblood traditions, blame Ramses Malfoy!"
Draco pocketed the Relationship chart he had been given, then said, "I need to think about all of this." He looked gobsmacked.
Paulina smiled at him, her anger spent. "You do that, cousin. But know that you're free to visit Hermione or myself anytime."
"Thank you," Draco said distractedly. Then he, Crabbe and Goyle left.
Hermione said to Neville and Harry, "Almost a year ago, Professor McGonagall visited my parents and me, to tell me that magic was real and that I was invited to Hogwarts. The professor turned a table into a bunny, and back again; my parents both wore expressions of But that's impossible! Poor Draco now knows how my parents felt—not only has he found out that a Squib line can have magical people in it, which is something which he thought was impossible, but even worse, those magical people in the Squib line are related to him!"
Paulina nodded. "I've blown Draco's mind."
The train arrived at Hogsmeade Station. Hagrid collected the first-years—and collected John and Paulina, since they were unsorted transfer students.
By now, John, Harry, and Paulina were wearing black unsorted-Hogwarts-student robes; Paulina had color-changed her high-heeled shoes to black. Paulina, with her bodacious figure and now wearing robes that were solid black almost everywhere (the left breast of her robes showed the altered Potter crest that declared Paulina to be the wife of the Potter Regent), looked like a "witch" in a nonmagical teenaged boy's sex fantasy.
For purposes of the "No more than four in a boat" rule, John and Paulina were considered to be the equivalent of two first-years. Not waiting for Hagrid to assign them to a boat (or to two boats), John and Paulina stepped into the same boat. Then grinning Paulina said, "So sorry, Hagrid, but it looks like this boat is officially full now."
John and Paulina, once alone in their boat, did not quite cavort in a way to offend Professor McGonagall, when she later would hear about it. On the other hand, they did not behave like eleven-year-olds either. Suffice it to say, John and Paulina kissed as their boat moved over the Black Lake.
Harry, Hermione, Neville and Terry Boot rode in a different boat. (Ron Weasley demanded to be the fourth kid in Harry's boat, but he got to the dock too late.)
Soon the boats landed. A minute or two later, the boat-riders had left their boats and had gathered around Hagrid as he knocked on the door. This was when Ron Weasley came up from who-knows-where and shoved Neville to the ground. "Shove off, Squib, so I can be with my best mate Harry Potter!"
" 'Best mate'?" Harry yelled at Weasley, as Harry and Hermione helped Neville to stand. "I've never seen you before in my life!"
"Doesn't matter," Ron said. "I'm—"
John stepped in front of Ron, grabbed the ginger-haired boy by his shoulders, and lifted him a foot in the air—not by magic, but by muscle. "Anyone know who he is?" John asked the first-years.
"That's Ron Weasley," several children said.
John gave no clue that he knew well, who the redhead boy was.
Now John faced the boy he was holding up. "Ron Weasley, obviously your parents didn't teach you manners—"
"You leave my parents out of this!"
John secretly smiled when he saw that Ron's ears were turning red. "You pushed a kid down like a Muggle bully, you told Neville a lie about you being Harry's 'best mate,' and clearly you're angling to get in good with the Boy Who Lived. Harry is perfectly able to decide for himself, who his friends are—and I know for a fact that he hates both bullies and Boy-Who-Lived fanboys. So you're shit out of luck, little wizard."
John still was holding Ron a foot off the ground. Now he carried Ron to the back of the group of first-years, saying as he walked, "With a name starting with W, you might be the last to be Sorted. If your attitude doesn't improve, get used to being last at everything during your seven years here."
When John returned to Paulina, Harry, and Hermione, he discovered that the door was open and McGonagall was trying to stare him down.
McGonagall demanded, "What is the problem here, Mr Potter?"
"No problem, professor. An immature student tried to bully another student; and I resolved the conflict peacefully."
McGonagall said archly, "You couldn't have waited for a professor to resolve the issue?"
"Mr. Longbottom belongs to House Longbottom, which historically has been allied with House Potter. I considered this to be a House matter, so I acted. Besides, the New York Wand has written many stories about how well you professors at Hogwarts deal with bullying."
John's raised eyebrow added a sentence, not spoken but impossible to miss: How you Hogwarts professors deal with bullying is pathetic, and the rest of the Wizarding World knows this.
Soon the group of firsties-plus-two-newlyweds stood in the entrance hall, waiting to be brought into the Great Hall.
John quietly murmured to Paulina, "I expect a Howler from Molly, tomorrow or the next day. I insulted Ron's parents' parenting skills."
Paulina slapped John's arm. "I declare, John, you are bad."
This was when the four House ghosts showed up.
This lifetime, the ghosts' "overheard" conversation was different: John heard no mention of Peeves. John could not figure out why this had changed.
A few minutes later, the students to be Sorted were at the front of the Great Hall, with the High Table behind them and the four House tables in front of them. But immediately in front of John, Paulina, and the firsties was the four-legged stool that was brought out once a year, on which was placed the patched, frayed, and dirty Sorting Hat.
Professor McGonagall now stepped forward, holding a long roll of parchment. "When I call your name, you will put on the Hat and sit on the stool to be Sorted. Abbott—"
John Potter stepped forward and called out, "Sorting Hat! I am John Potter, the Potter Regent and a seventh-year transfer student, and I ask that you Sort me first!"