8 : Sakura
By: Kokoro Kakera HP ^^
Disclaimer: Naruto, (Manga, anime, products, etc.), belongs to Kishimoto Masashi
Author's Notes:
I'm not worthy of all the wonderful reviews!!! ...No, actually, I'm not... T_T I've been quite disappointed with myself these days. I reread the last few chapters and cringed. I read this chapter and cringed. I can't seem to make it sound better though... Well... I guess I will just have to improve my writing skills! Somehow.
Part 8 came out sort of dark... Rurouni Kenshin Tsuiokuhen's 'One of these nights' and Evanescence's 'Fields of Innocence' inspired some of it... Gotta love that angst-ridden music...
Notes:
Nee-san - Sister
"You got it all wrong, Naruto." She lowered her face so that her hair fell over her eyes as she spoke. "I may have felt something for him before, but now... Sasuke-kun is... Sasuke-kun is no longer the one I love."
It was a lie. She knew it was once the words left her mouth. But this lie... This lie was the first step to letting go...wasn't it?
"Sakura-chan...?"
"It's time to go!" Sakura got up abruptly. "We'll get into trouble if we're late."
'Sasuke-kun.' She looked mournfully at his back as they walked to the mission reporting office, kids in tow.
'Just let go.' She felt a sharp pang in her chest when she realized that there was really nothing to let go of.
Sasuke was just too far away. Where she was concerned, he was in another world she couldn't enter - couldn't even come near to touch. All she could do was stare longingly from afar.
Why had she sought so determindly for an impossibility?
"Wow! Sakura, look at Sasuke-kun! Isn't he great?" Ino cried. Sasuke had just finished a difficult exercise which required one to jump across a lake by the trail of small wood pieces floating in it. One try - his first - had been all he needed. "He's so strong! I bet he'll grow up to be the best ninja in the village!"
"He's a genious!" One of the girls from the side gushed. "And so handsome! He's perfect!" Sakura nodded, agreeing with the comments.
"He's perfect." She clasped her hands tightly to her chest. A strong, handsome genious. A perfect ninja.
'Sasuke-kun...' She looked at her reflection in the lake and resisted the urge to kick it. All she could see was a weak girl with a large forehead.
'Failure shows and it only becomes easier to see. Sometimes it's impossible to fix.'
'That's right... I wanted... I wanted to be like Sasuke-kun. I wanted to be strong, beautiful and..."
"You're annoying." Sasuke walked away.
'I wanted to be acknowledged by him.'
"Bye, bye!" The children called out farewells as they left with their parents.
"Take care, Touma-chan." Sakura smoothed out the boy's hair as he nodded. His eyes flickered to her arm.
"Sakura-nee-san... your cloth changed colour..."
"Hn?" Sakura's eyebrows went up questioningly.
"Thank you." A woman nodded briskly to Sakura and picked up Touma. She looked frightened. "Goodbye." She left speedily, all the while hugging the boy to her tightly.
"Bye." Sakura said, voice unaudible amidst the thick lump of surprise fogging her throat. Why had that woman acted so...
Her hand tickled and she scratched it. She jerked when her fingertips touched something wet.
"Sakura?" She flinched when the concerned voice reached her ears. She folded her arm to her chest and as if ashamed of it's appearance, covered it with her other arm, hand clasped over the other.
"It's fine." She forced a smile. "I think... that I should go home. I'm feeling a little tired." Her eyes met Sasuke's and she immediately averted them.
"...Naruto can stay here to report to Kakashi. Do you want me to go with you?" Sakura's eyes widened.
Walking home with Sasuke... it really was just a far off dream that didn't have any hope of gaining substance. Sasuke's love was something that she couldn't even approach, even in dreams.
Sasuke was just too far away. Where she was concerned, he was in another world she couldn't enter - couldn't even come near to touch. All she could do was watch.
"You got it all wrong, Naruto." She lowered her face so that her hair fell over her eyes as she spoke. "I may have felt something for him before, but now... Sasuke-kun is... Sasuke-kun is no longer the one I love."
It was a lie. She knew it was once the words left her mouth. But this lie... This lie was the first step to letting go...wasn't it?
"No." She turned away from him. "Thank you, Sasuke-kun. But... I'll be fine."
Sakura stared at the long wound on her arm. It was so shallow yet... She went to the sink and took a damp cloth, intending to wipe off some of the blood that stained her arm. She gently ran the cloth down her arm. The mess only smudged. Sighing, she washed out the cloth and tried again. Some of the dried brown flakes had disappeared, but the bloody smudge was still there - only a bit darker. She frowned and got another washcloth, pressing a bit harder as she rubbed her arm.
Blood filled the sink as she tried,
over
The cloth became slippery.
and over
She tried again with another.
and over
Now she was painting.
to get her arm clean.
The smudge wouldn't go away.
'I can't even...'
It was as if she was bleeding too fast to get rid of it.
'Failure shows and it only becomes easier to see. Sometimes it's impossible to fix.'
Choking back a sob she frantically grabbed another washcloth and scrubbed her arm as hard as she could. Small crimson flecks dotted the sink and the area around it. Clear salty ones joined them and they blurred together.
"Sakura?" Sakura's mom knocked on the washroom door, wondering why her daughter was taking so long to come out. The pink-haired girl dully turned off the water and slid down so that she was kneeling in front of the sink. Head bowed, she quietly stared at her reddened hands. She'd tried to get at least them clean, but had only succeeded in spreading the smudges.
"I'm sorry mom..." Sakura whimpered. "I made a mess and I can't clean it up."