Thank you for reviewing and I'll answer my reviewers' questions:
Chelsea,
People just show up at my house a lot; I don't know half of them. It's because of my parents. I live with my grandma and my parent's friends always come up to me to send messages to my dad or mom. So no, no one just showed up in my kitchen but they do just show up. I'm glad we are kicking them out on the 31st (my parents that is).
Little Illy,
Yea first chapters are intros and some of my chapters will be short because my day wasn't interesting. Yes, every time Brittany writes something on her computer that was how I felt and 100 true about my life. Kids are mean and I was the one the whole school hated, that's when I got into BTVS and ATV. The show saved my life in many ways and that's why I'm adding BTVS and ATV into my stories. I'm glad I put you in the mood to read grown-up-with-kids-scoobie stories. My stories contain that a lot. My typos are because I only have so little time to write and I spell and grammar check other wise I just add it to fan And I will update this story the most often out of all of mine.
Merry Christmas to you as well (late anyways) Yes I'm into that type of thing. )
Living In Hell
Fighting, Crying, And Dieing
Brittany looks up at her father, "You know her?"
"Yea I Do," Angel says still looking at Faith in confusion, "Why are you here?"
Faith smirks and sits on the end of the couch, "To see B. Don't be so uptight about it!"
Brittany looks from Faith to her father.
"I'm not being uptight!" Angel answers, "And what do you want with Buffy?"
Faith smirks, "Nothing, just thought I would stop by and visit."
Angel glares at Faith, "After what you did! How do you know you're welcomed here?"
"It worked out for the best didn't it?" Faith argues.
Angel shakes his head and mutters, "Get Out!"
"But, Angel……………" Faith continues to argue.
Angel looks directly at her, "Faith, GET OUT!"
Brittany jumps back from her father yelling.
"I would think you would be happy about what I did! You sure look cozy now." Faith smiles knowing she is right.
Angel looks down knowing what she said was true. He remembered back to that night, after Buffy showed off her beautiful diamond wedding ring to everyone. He couldn't stand it that Buffy was getting married to someone other then him. All smiley and glowing Buffy goes to her room. As she opens the door to her bedroom she hears all kinds of unruly things. She looks up into her bed to see her husband and Faith. Faith looks over at the door where Buffy is standing putting her hand over her mouth with a gasp.
"Buffy, it's not what ……. I mean," Faith begins to tell Buffy. Before Faith tries explaining, Buffy runs out of the room.
Her husband or soon to be husband looks at the door with his sea blue eyes. He gets up puts on some pant before running after Buffy. He gets to Buffy and grabs her arm turning her around. Buffy glares at him. He starts to explain to her, "Buffy, I'm sorry."
Buffy looks up at him tears falling from her eyes.
"I love you, I'm sorry." He goes in kissing her lips lightly.
Buffy pushes him off, "Spike, have fun…………" She takes off her wedding ring and throws it at him…. "Weddings off, now you can sleep with anyone you want and you won't have to think you have a commitment to me." Buffy storms off crying and mad.
"Buffy …" Spike watches as she leaves and put his head down.
Angel watching it all goes to Buffy who is crying, "It's ok, you don't need him." Angel hugs Buffy letting her cry in his arms.
Spike who is in the doorway watches getting mad at Angel, "I need to talk with Buffy."
"You already did enough." Angel replies holding the crying Buffy.
"It's Buffy's decision, not yours!" Spike argues.
Buffy look up at Spike, "I don't want to talk to you or see you ever again."
Spike looking hurt, "I'll leave tomorrow night then."
Buffy looks up at Angel and kisses him. Angel surprise from the kiss deepens it. Spike looking shock mutters, "Ok, I'll leave tonight."
Brittany snaps Angel out of his thoughts, "Dad, Can I go to Liliana's house?"
Angel glares at Faith.
"Fine, Angel I'll leave, tell Buffy I stopped by," Faith says with a smirk and turn around heading out the door.
Brittany asked again, "Dad, Can I go to Liliana's house?"
"I don't know 'can' you?" Angel asked.
Brittany giggles, "Dad, May I go?"
"Of course," Angel says with a smile.
Brittany heads out the door and up the street about 4 houses to Liliana's house.
"Hey Dork," a brunette with dark brown eyes said. She looked about 15 or 16 years old. She was really 19. She leans on her dark green car smiling.
"Hey" Brittany replied.
"So where's your boyfriend?" Liliana says with a smirk.
Brittany with a little glare, "What boyfriend."
"Don't denied him…. You know who!" Liliana looks at the house next door.
"Eww………… Not Vincent……….. Ewwwww!" Brittany replies.
Vincent was a guy who had a crush on Brittany since she was in 4th or 5th grade. He was a year younger then her. He was taller then Brittany by 3 or more inches. He looked somewhat like Angel but skinner and darker skin. He has his light brown hair spiked with tons of gel, which caused his hair to look almost black. He had the same brown eyes Angel did.
Liliana just looked at Brittany and laughed.
Brittany looks at Liliana, "It isn't funny! I don't like him."
"Don't lie," Liliana replies.
Just about then you hear a door slam and Vincent come running over to Brittany and Liliana, "Hey."
"O great not the retard," Brittany greets him.
"Shut up dullard," Vincent greets Brittany back.
"Whatever jerkwater," Brittany replies, "Liliana I'm gonna go home, kinda tired."
"Your tired, from what? O never mind I know." Liliana says with a smirk.
Brittany rolls her eyes and as she walks away she yells out, "You wish."
Brittany gets to her house just as a baby blue Mustang pulls into the drive. A young blond with sunglasses on and her blond hair in a ponytail gets out of the car. She was dressed in comfortable gray sweat pants and a workout shirt. She looked as if she could fall down and go to sleep right there on the sidewalk.
"Mom you ok?" Brittany asked.
The young woman answer, "Yea, Peachy."
As they both entered the house Brittany yelled, "Dad, Mom's home."
Angel came out of a hallway into the living room and with a smile, "Buffy, your home early. Is everything ok?"
"Yea, fine," Buffy answers.
"You look tired. Maybe, you should go to sleep?" Angel replies looking at the exhausted Buffy.
"Yea," Buffy yawns and heads into her and Angel's bedroom. She sits on the bed leaning on the headboard half asleep.
Brittany goes into her room and watches T.V. as Angel heads out the door to go to who knows where. Brittany falls asleep and is awoken about 3 hours later to a loud car. 'Yes, Liliana's home,' Brittany thinks before getting up and bushing her hair quickly. She looks at the clock that says 12:24 am. She runs into her mom's room waking her mom up, "Can I please go outside mom? Please!"
Buffy looks over at Brittany still half asleep, "Yea, Sure."
"Thank you!" Brittany yells as she runs outside and up to Liliana's.
"Hey, didn't think your mom would let you out this late." Liliana greets Brittany.
Brittany greets back, "Yea but only for a little."
"Ha ha, guess what time I have to be in?" Liliana asks.
Brittany sighs, "When ever you want. But that's because your 19, an adult!"
"So …….," Liliana smirks.
A red convertible pulls up to Brittany's house and Angel gets out of the car. Angel grabs something from the car before heading inside the house. Angel sneaks into his room so he won't wake up Buffy. Angel sets down a wrapped present in their closet then gets into his black pj bottoms.
Buffy wakes up, "Angel?"
"Yea, it's me," Angel says gently as he gets into bed.
Buffy yawns and gets up heading to the bathroom. Buffy looks into Brittany's room and sees she isn't there so goes to the phone and calls Liliana.
Liliana look down at her phone, "It's for you."
Brittany grabs the phone answering it, " Yes."
"Why aren't you in bed? And why didn't you tell me you were going out?" Buffy questions Brittany.
"I told you!" Brittany answers.
Buffy replies, "No you didn't now come home!"
Brittany hangs up the phone, "Bye Liliana, C-ya tomorrow."
"Your in trouble?" Liliana asks.
"No," Brittany answers walking home. Once she opens the door, she sees her mother standing there.
Buffy stands angry, "You're grounded."
"Why?" Brittany demands.
Buffy replies, "You sneak out."
"I did not!" Brittany swears.
"Brittany May, don't you dare lie to me."
"I'm going down to the computer."
"O, no your not"
"But It's Christmas Break. I get to stay up!"
"Not when you're grounded."
"Whatever!" Brittany heads to the computer room.
Buffy runs in front of Brittany, "If I have to pull you by your hair to your room I will."
"You wouldn't dare." Brittany answers pushing her mom out of her way.
Buffy grabs Brittany by the hair slapping her.
Brittany slaps her mom back and pushes away trying to make Buffy let go of her hair.
Buffy gives Brittany a look, "You little bitch."
"I'm not the bitch here." Brittany replies.
Angel comes out hearing all the yelling, "What's going on here?"
"She hit me!" Buffy tattles.
"Because you hit me and wouldn't listen!" Brittany yells back then looks at her dad.
Angel looks at Buffy then his daughter, "Don't you ever hit your mother again!"
Brittany starts crying and runs down to the computer room. She locks herself in and looks around for something sharp. She finds dull scissors and try's to cut herself in the arm with it but can't because they only cut paper. Brittany keeps looking and finds a sucker her friend Anna gave her for Christmas. The stick is sharp and leaves little white marks on her skin. It hurt a lots as Brittany digs the stick into her skin on her arms. Soon her arms are covered with little white marks. When she is done she logs onto the computer and into her dairy.
'December 21st 2004
For a while there I thought I was happy. But who am I fooling? I am destined to live a hard, lonely, and un-happy life. I never thought I could cause my own pain. But after a while I realized that's the one and only thing I can feel. I hate it and can't live with it so guess what !?!? December 27th I'm going to try to get some Carbon Monoxide and kill myself. I wish I could stick around to see some one SMG's movies like the Grudge 2. I wish I could see the end of Charmed, our school's yearbook finished, go back to school, have my first kiss, my first serious boyfriend, go to prom, slow dance with a guy, cry when my family members die, be in love, get married, have children I don't want, look at myself in the mirror as I grow up seeing the changes in my life, in me, being able to say "I'm Someone". I want to be an actress. I have a real nack for it to, but if I wasn't something to do with computers I would let my mom down. I'm not perfect, but I try to live up to it. I hate letting people down. I know with my choice to kill myself is letting a bunch of people down. I'm sorry but for once I have to do something for me.
Liliana for the record I don't like Vincent, I hate him, he is eww.
Tell Shanise, Patricia, Wendy, Alondra, Kristen, Brandon, Desiree, Vanessa, Christina, Yhoana, Everyone in Pubs, Everyone in Drama Club, and all my other people I'm sorry to leave.
Carlos one last time "Your Fired" !
To my fellow role players on the computer you let me live a year more then I would have. You kept me spirited and happy. I'm sad to say good-bye, take my characters close to your hearts.
Kyla all those boys out front DAMN ! That's a lot of guys, wonder why? Well your rep tells us a lot, so stop acting innocent and fiss up.
I'm trying to think of what else to write as I crying writing this and all I can think of is reasons and excuses. I have excuses for everything it seems! And suicide an excuse not to live and work out life. I see that and I'm not taking the easy way out. I've thought about this for years, I even almost tried it when I was in grade school. Surprise? See told you I can act. No one knew about it, I kept it a secret till now. But when you read this I'll hopefully be in heaven talking to god and visiting my papa and my animals. I'll be happy for once. But I know you want a good reason and I'll give you some:
I can't feel love, only pain & I'm sure I'll spread un-happiness around.
I have a hot temper, either kill myself or murder. Which would you want ? Either way mess huh ?
What's the world for? Why do we live? To find out who we are is what I believe. I already know who I am, Learned all my lessons.
I'm wasting money, clothes, food, oxygen, some other person needs.
Now I have some questions I want answered:
Why be so mean to me? Do I have a "PLEASE MAKE MY LIFE HELL FOR ME" sign on my back
Why does everyone think I like Vincent?
Why is Ms. Zimmerman such a BITCH?
Why ?
I LOVE MY CATS !!
Love Much,
4ever And Always,
The One And Only,
Kitten'
Brittany finished and saved it to her computer just as her dad knocked on the door.
Brittany yelled as she pulled on a jacket to cover up her white marks, "What do you want?"
"For you to let me in," Angel answered.
Brittany screamed, "NO!"
Angel uses his key to get in, "We need to talk, you do not hit your mother!"
"GO AWAY!" Brittany yells.
Angel stands there, "I'm not going away!"
Brittany gets up and runs to her room jumping on the bed and crying into her pillow.
Angel follows Brittany, "Do you understand me ?"
Brittany mutters under her pillow over and over, "Someone kill me please."
"You have a Problem," Angel says listening to Brittany mutter. Angel misunderstood what Brittany said, "Stop asking for someone to help you!"
Brittany yells, "GET THE HELL OUT, I HATE YOU!"
Angel leaves the room shutting the door behind him.