A loud crash of a nearby ocean wave thumped loudly, causing the nearby seagulls to flee the location and squawk. When the camera focuses, a large ship is anchored on a sandy beach. On that ship, a middle aged man with a slicked back hair-do and a smile as wide as the seven seas stares directly into the camera.
"Welcome to season eight of Total Drama! I'm your host, Chris McLean, bringing you the jolliest, heartiest season yet. This season, we're bringing back 12 of the most overlooked and underestimated players in Total Drama history." A familiar face confidently announces into the camera, behind him, two interns are working on unraveling a piece of cloth.
Chris looks behind him and shoos the interns out of frame, he then continues with his statement, "This time, we truly wanted a new feel for the show, which is why we bought a massive pirate ship!" The camera zooms out to show just how large the boat was in comparison to Chris, "So, in spirit with our mode of transportation, this season's challenges will all be based on the life of a pirate! Lie, scam, and steal your way to our grand prize of One! Million! Dollars!" he adds, raising up his arms for effect.
Chris walks over to the edge of the boat, when all of a sudden a guy in a red and white tracksuit comes flying from off-screen, his screams loud and frightening, he lands face first into the wooden floorboards on the ship, he gets up cartoonishly with only a few injuries. Chris rolls his eyes and takes a deep breath out, but he can't help but giggle a bit at the boy's misfortune.
"Chef! Didn't we say we had a cue for when we were going to launch them?" Chris gripes, the camera pans to Chef standing by a cannon, chuckling while shrugging his shoulders. Chris gives Chef one last look before he goes back to his TV-persona.
He continues with his spiel, "And with that mishap, we introduce our first contestant, is his name Taylor? It might be Tyson, or Tyrone, who knows! His girlfriend sure doesn't!"
"It's Tyler." the boy grumbles, "Also, leave Lindsay out of this, why don't you." Tyler walks off screen crossing his arms, his posture crooked.
"Well, since we've already started with our introductions, here's the pretty girl who turned into a pitiful monster within less than a season, Dakota!" Dakota flies onto the screen, when she lands, a couple of floorboards crack, while she isn't the Dakotazoid she once was, a lot of her physical features like her overwhelming tallness, her short green hair, and a few of her orange scales on her arms and legs still remain. The half-human half-freakazoid gave Chris a death glare,
"I still have to deal with what you did to me, McLean." Dakota said, dismissing any form of friendliness Chris attempted to give. Dakota walked out of frame hastily and without a second thought.
Chris did not take the cold shoulder from Dakota lightly, offended, he gave Dakota a sarcastic smile, "Glad to see you again as well," he said as he grimaced, he spent a second to be salty before moving back into the flow of the episode, "Anyways, our next contest is the more pathetic of the two Pahkitwins, introducing Sammy!" Sammy's high-pitched shrills gave everyone hearing damage, though nothing happened to the girl herself, it appeared she had replaced her old cheerleading outfit with a yellow crop-top with a flower on it and some ripped jeans. She waves politely to the other two revealed contestants.
"Good to be back without my sister here to slow me down!" Sammy exclaims, taking in the sights of the pirate ship. Chris smirks, he liked her energy better than the other two's.
"Well, we can't be entirely sure that she won't be here, but good to see you too, Sammy," Chris corrected, and directed Sammy to where the other contestants were standing. He then goes back to his position by the edge.
"Now," Chris sniffs the air, he scrunches up his nose bridge, "Do I smell EEEEVVVIIILLL? Nope, it's just Max!" Max comes down and crashes hard into the floor.
"You guys need a mattress or something there." Max suggests while rubbing his head, he shakily joins the group of contestants waiting for their castmates to be revealed.
Chris chuckles a bit before reassuring the boy, "We'll get on that, definitely," Chris grabs out a small slip of paper and takes a glance at it, he groans, "From suck-up to sucker, who would've thought? By absolutely no one's request, here's Topher." Chris says in a monotone voice, looking blankly to the horrified 5'10 boy who had just been launched from a cannon. As he plummets face first into the ground, Chris can't help to giggle a bit at Topher's misery.
Topher stood up and quickly felt around the top of his head, "To think I spent how long on my hair this morning? Why did I even bother?" he complained, trudging towards the group defeated.
The camera panned back on Chris, who was trying to contain a wide smirk, he noticed the camera and began again, "Clearly the diamond she found on Revenge of the Island was fake, because Anne Maria is back!" Like the others, she smacked onto the ground. Her 'tan' smeared all over the deck. Anne Maria grabbed a small mirror out of her back pocket and began retouching her makeup, she pulled out some hair spray, which quickly caught the now flat-haired Topher's attention.
"Mind if I use some of that?" he asked, desperate. Anne Maria turned towards Topher, she looked him up and down before raising her eyebrows and giving him a small nose exhale.
"You know what, you're a hot mess." she judges while throwing him the can, he fumbles around with it before applying it, to which his hair looked just like always. Anne Maria walks to the huddle and Topher hands her back the hair spray with a small smile. She gives him the side eye before returning her attention to the host.
"Next up is the sarcastic brainiac who got voted off not once, but twice for being a sarcastic brainiac, you'd think he'd finally learn how to play the game? It's Noah!" Chris declares as the know-it-all dives into the wood, his shrieks on the way down keeping the contestants entertained.
"You know my girlfriend is a lawyer, right?" he recalls, making Chris's usually ecstatic show-face turn a bright red with embarrassment. Tyler waves to Noah from the group, Noah quickly speeds over to who he was familiar with.
"You know, that wouldn't be the first time I've been sued, or arrested for that matter," Chris attempts to make light of the conversation before swiftly carrying on, "'I really miss my boyfriend Keith' will be six words that replay in his head until he dies, it's none other than Dave!" Chris introduces, when Dave lands he quickly stands up and dusts himself off.
"I'm not going to let a stupid girl get in my way this time, I'm here to win." Dave claims, as he steps towards the group, the girls quickly shuffled away from him while giving him strange looks, all Dave could do was sigh. Noah let out a few laughs at Dave's predicament. Chris, watching things unfold, wants to let Dave keep embarrassing himself, but ultimately decides to continue on with the show.
The host follows up, "Will this fan-favorite do anything besides pee his pants? We'll find out shortly, because here's Brick!" The cadet surprisingly does not take any sort of damage by the fall whatsoever, he lands on his feet and salutes Chris, who is mildly impressed by Brick's athleticism.
"Brick MacArthur, reporting for duty!" he boldly states to the host and his fellow castmates before joining the others.
"That's the kind of guy you want on your team." Noah whispers to Tyler, he then gets promptly shushed by an impatient Chris.
Suddenly, a luxury cruise ship full of hot girls, drinks, and partying shows up to the beach, the boat's bridge opens up to reveal a dark skinned guy with blue eyes and a muscular body. Unsure of the circumstances, the contests scramble to find out why there was a cruise. Soon enough it drives away.
Chris lowers his eyebrows in annoyance, "Why does he not have to ride the cannon," he stops for a second and smiles, "oh wait, he's hot. Everyone, it's Justin!" Justin walks onto the boat, his eight-pack practically bulging out of his tank top, the girl's mouths drop, they all begin to violently bask in his elegance, it is almost like he is glowing. Even some of the guys can't help themselves.
"Was I late? The cruise sailor was drunk, so we couldn't get here exactly when we planned." Justin apologizes, his voice smooth and slick. His six foot figure towers over the majority of the contestants.
"Is he single?" Anne Maria woos, she sprays herself in a sweet perfume. Topher glares at the model in envy, his illusion of potentially being the hottest guy on the season being shattered.
"Alright, now, to a much less exciting note," Chris begins, entertained by the cast's infatuation with the beauty, "I can't exactly say much about her, for the ability to have kids is great, our eleventh contestant is Eva!"
Eva gets up without a scratch and gives a look to her fellow contestants, some being familiar, others not, and gives a cocky statement, "This will be easy as cake." Eva walks into the group and shoves Dave aside to go talk to her good friend and old castmate, Noah. Everyone stares at Eva with confusion and judgment.
Chris tries to break the tension in the group with another announcement, "It's time for our last, and statistically least contestant, Katie!" Katie lands on the boat, but she is much more concerned about where she is rather than any potential injuries.
"Didn't we say it was supposed to be at that one summer camp? Wakakika I think it was called?" Katie asks, taking in the scenery of the very not summer camp-looking terrain.
"Nope!" Chris reinforms before pushing the ditzy girl into the group. "Well, this is our cast list for Total Drama; Wakiki Islands, who will be the first eliminated, who will win the million dollars? We'll find out at least one of those answers soon."
(CONFESSIONAL)
Noah crosses his arms while sitting on the toilet, "I knew pirates were filthy, but I didn't think it could be this bad," Noah says, trying not to gag from the visible stench, "Anyways, it's going to be a rough season, the only people I really know are Tyler and Eva, and I'm going to be honest, I don't think either is exactly the alliance type." Noah groans to himself before feeling throw up in his throat, the camera cuts off immediately after.
(END OF CONFESSIONAL)
(CONFESSIONAL)
Anne Maria sits with her legs crossed and her hands intertwined by her chest, "Oh man, this is going to be great! Where were all of the cute guys in my season?" she asks, twiddling her hair.
(END OF CONFESSIONAL)
The camera comes back to Chris, standing with his hands on his hips, "Today will be our first challenge, this will determine your teams, and who will potentially be the first person voted off of the season!" Chris explains, grinning mischievously, this makes some of the cast members nervous, "All good pirates know every nook and cranny of their ship, which is why in this challenge, you'll be trying to find a piece of paper with your name on it hidden somewhere around the ship, the only clue you have to the hidden location is the room you will be given by me, next to your paper, there will be two puzzle pieces in a bag, they will both either be red, or purple. Once you have your puzzle pieces, come back up to the deck and wait for the rest of your team to find theirs, when they do, start your puzzle! Whichever team finishes their puzzle first wins immunity and a three-night stay in the private quarters. The losers? A trip to the first elimination ceremony, and for one of you, the plank of shame." Chris explains, the cast members seemingly understand the challenge. Chris hands out the clue for each contestant's hidden location.
"Alright, we'll start in three, two, after our quick break! Which team will work together to win themselves immunity? Which team will have to walk the Plank-O'-Shame? Find out next time on Total! Drama! Wakiki Islands!"