Warning: Leon's got a foul mouth.
How Long Love Chapter 6: Suspicious
Years later-
Leon-
Dark Danger Drug Dragon Destiny Devil Death Dream D...D...D...
Why did so many things start with the letter D?
Enterprise D.
"Hey, Barns! Wake up, already. We're almost there."
Woken out of a deep, sound sleep, Leon managed to rub his eyes with one hand and groped for his bird with the other. "Get your hands off me." Leon grumbled, not caring if he was being polite or not. "I'm up. I'm up." He groggily looked around and remembered where he was.
All around him, eager young ensigns were excitedly babbling and pointing out the windows of the shuttlecraft. It as a rainbow of colors, not all the passengers of this little shuttlecraft were ensigns. There were the seasoned officers of the Enterprise and Leon saw them all watching the ensigns with amusement and tolerance. Leon tried to ignore them all. He wondered what demon had ever gotten into him and convinced him that Starfleet was a good idea. He'd like to find that demon and give it a good beating.
All right, maybe it wasn't exactly a demon, but Leon wasn't really sure what had made him enter Starfleet academy. He was pretty sure it had something to do with boredom. He had no direction for his life and no plans at all, so, with nothing better to do, Leon had done what many people did. He'd signed up for the academy as soon as he turned eighteen. It was a great chance to escape Mr. Goti's grasp, the man couldn't reach him if he was light-years away on a starship, and he'd be able to find Reggie. It was important to find Reggie, Leon believed. Reggie had done so much for him when they'd been together and, at the very least, Leon wanted to thank him.
Of course it would have been faster to take the transporter, instead of the shuttlecraft, but he'd wanted to get a good look at his new ship. In fact, that was why everyone else had taken the shuttlecraft and Leon was starting to think that he'd been more than a little stupid. He, like everyone else in the universe, had seen pictures of the famous flag ship, the Enterprise. What had gotten into him to make him think he needed a closer view? 'Stupid tradition.' Leon thought as yet another young ensign bumped into him to get a better spot by the window. 'Everyone does it, so I do, too. Stupid. Should have just beamed on board. Maybe these damned drugs are finally starting to kill my brain cells.'
Leon, out of habit, looked into his duffle bag, searching around to make sure he had his pills and his hypospray. Of course he had them. He'd checked four times before he'd left his dorm at the Academy. Still, he wanted to make very sure. Leon had never dared to get his medication tested by any kind of doctor, it was too risky, but he did, sort of, understand what they were doing to him. He didn't have any more of the weird waking dreams which had plagued him so the drug must be some kind of represent. 'Weird isn't the right word. They weren't really bad dreams. Actually, they were kind of nice. I think. Wish I could remember them better. Sure was a Hell of a lot better than reality from what I remember. Be nice if that kind of thing was real.' Leon had laughed at himself for thoughts like that, in the past. People who preferred fantasy over reality generally weren't given good jobs in Starfleet, so he'd have to keep that opinion to himself.
Not that it really mattered. Religiously taking his meds, Leon's last waking dream had been that terrifying time when he'd seen himself as an older man in the mirror of his dorm room. His reflection had yelled and cursed him for being a coward. THAT had been an experience never to be forgotten. Leon still feared that something like that would happen again and really mess up his life. He tried to convince himself that he was perfectly normal, so long as he took his meds. Yup, normal. Absolutely just like everyone else...
"You okay so far, Jill?" Leon peered into the small birdcage at the large bird. It was really far too small for such a big crow, but Leon didn't have much choice. He sure as heck wasn't going to let her be put into cargo transport and the shuttlecraft crew wouldn't allow a bigger cage, saying that it would take up too much room. "Just a little bit longer."
The bird, Jill, squawked loudly in her cage and Leon smiled lovingly at her. Her bead-like black eyes glittered when she turned to look at him.
"Good girl." Leon reached in between the narrow bars of the birdcage with one finger and stroked her midnight black coat of feathers. "You just wait, this won't take to long. Just a little longer and we'll be on our new home."
Leon looked over his shoulder, out the window of the shuttlecraft, and saw Earth from space for the first time in his life. He'd never been off Earth before and he wasn't quite sure that he was doing the right thing. Something deep inside him told Leon that he should be staying on Earth and that he had no business abandoning her for space. He had no reason to be in space, period. After all, there was something important he'd forgotten on Earth. It didn't help matters that Leon had no idea what it was that he'd forgotten, but he thought it might have something to do with a person. Or maybe it was people.
"What am I forgetting?" Leon whispered to Jill. He sometimes wished she could answer him, but that was just another fantasy. Birds don't talk. Even as Leon tried to remember who, or what, it was that he was forgetting, he felt his heart speed up at the sight of Earth getting smaller and smaller. He suddenly wished he'd failed all his exams and had to take a job whitewashing the Academy buildings. At least he'd still be on Earth.
'Stupid. I need the meds again.' Leon wished he had someplace private, but he hadn't had any privacy in hours. 'There's nothing to be scared of.'
Jill swiveled her head to look at him and he could swear that she was angry with him.
'Oh, leave me alone. I'll believe what I like! There's nothing wrong with me anymore.' After reassuring himself, and his beloved pet, Leon turned just enough in his seat so he could look out at the approaching Enterprise, feeling like a gawking tourist all the while. He stared at the immense white behemoth that was going to be his home for probably the next few years. There were hundreds of little windows on the Enterprise with light shining out and Leon wondered if many of those people were awake or if they'd just decided to put on the lights to make the Enterprise look good while it was in dock.
Jill looked distinctly irritated as she flapped her wings restlessly and cawed loudly enough that several people turned to look at Leon.
"Now, now." Leon muttered soothingly. "We'll be there soon. It's just a little further now." Poor Jill had been confined in the cage since they'd left Earth. Back on Earth, he'd been able to leave the window open and let her come and go as she pleased. Now she was going to have to make do with the quarter he'd get on the Enterprise and the holodeck when he got the chance to use it. Part of Leon doubted that it was the confinement that had Jill so worked up.
"She's well behaved. Is she an Earth bird?"
Leon looked up to find a pair of very big chocolate brown eyes looking down at him. She was one of the most beautiful women Leon had ever seen in the life without a doubt. She was very fair with long dark hair that matched the chocolate of her sparkling eyes. A curvy woman with full figure that could never be mistaken for fat, though not very tall. Her smiled was wide and genuine, her lips full. In short, she was a man's dream come true. Well, most men's dreams, anyway.
"Is that supposed to be a joke? It's not funny. She's foul tempered and stubborn. She's a crow." Leon replied, though his spirits sank at the sight of the remarkably beautiful woman. "Jill's just getting anxious being cooped up like this." He looked away from the woman and back down to Jill who was preening herself. "She'll be glad when we get to the ship."
"Is this your first time on the Enterprise?"
Leon looked the woman up and down brazenly, but, despite her sex appeal, he just couldn't bring himself to feel anything. She was the type of woman most men would drool at the sight of, yet Leon just turned away from her, depressed. He was disgusted, not by her, but by his own indifference. 'What the Hell's wrong with me?' He wondered, looking back to Jill. 'I just can't seem to feel anything for anyone.' At one point, Leon had thought that he might be homosexual, but he'd never felt any inclinations to men, either. 'It's like being dead from the waist down. God, I'm depressed.'
"Yep." Leon answered casually and tried to look as nonchalant as possible. "I've never even been in space before." Maybe if he acted like there was nothing wrong with him, she wouldn't guess. If he acted like a normal man she wouldn't think he was weird.
The dark haired woman waited for a moment, apparently waiting for him to say more, but when he didn't, she said, "You don't seem at all happy. In fact, you seem just a bit depressed." The curvy woman sat next to Leon and looked at him with a soft smile and Leon was instantly suspicious. "Do you want to talk?"
"I always want to talk." Leon smiled brightly. "But there's nothing wrong with me." He was trying to be as charming as possible, but when she didn't answer, Leon looked away from her at back out at the Enterprise as it drew closer and closer. He didn't like it when people took him too seriously and he really needed to take his medicine. The terrible feeling of fear was growing as they got further and further from Earth. The nagging feeling of having forgotten something still ate away at him. If he didn't take the meds soon, the dreams would start up again and he might get lost in them this time. That wouldn't be a good way to start his career.
The woman didn't look as if she believed him. "Well, if you change your mind, I'm counselor Deanna Troi, I'll be available on the Enterprise. Feel free to stop by my office for...where are you going?"
'Aw, shit.' Leon, suddenly uncomfortable with how close she was, stood up and gathered his things even as he mentally cursed. Now he'd have to wait to take his meds. "Gonna find a quieter seat. You talk to damned much." He'd read all about the Enterprise and its command crew. This was the empath, the one that could feel other people's emotions Leon had heard all. This was the last thing Leon wanted to deal with!
"Oh, sit." Troi sighed with the expression of a woman who'd been through this sort of thing before. She negligently waved a hand at Leon. "You don't have to worry, I can control my mind very well and I'm not looking to get any kind of secrets from you. Whatever you're thinking about is your business and I won't pry. I was just a bit worried. Usually, people are excited about coming to the Enterprise, you just seemed a little down, that's all."
Counselors, in general, were bad enough with their psycho babble and theories that he had abandonment issues, but a counselor who knew what one was feeling was a definite threat. "Don't worry about me, lady." Leon told her, looking out the window, again. "I'll be just fine. I don't need to talk." The fact that he'd already gone though several years of counseling had dulled his taste for them and he hoped that this one wasn't going to find out that he'd been going in the past. She might feel obliged to continue his counseling and Leon didn't think he could deal with that.
"You're lying." She told him in a matter-a-fact tone, but not unkindly. "You're very much afraid right now, but you don't want to admit it. I'm not sure why and I can't force you to tell me, but I will tell you that talking about your fears often helps them to go away."
Leon help Jill tightly with his duffle bag slung precariously over his shoulder. She was way to perceptive. "Screw off, lady." Then he turned and went to the other end of the shuttlecraft, determined that he'd avoid her at all costs for as long as he was on the Enterprise.
Counselor Troi-
Deanna had never been told to screw off before. She wasn't a saint and didn't pretend that the insult didn't irritate her. Irritate? It made her so angry she could barely think. Then, still sitting where she'd been when the young ensign had abandoned his seat she settled for watching him. He hadn't let go of the crow for an instant and, Deanna felt foolish later for thinking such a thing, she was sure that the crow gave her a dirty look as the young ensign walked away with it.
She had felt such overpowering emotions from him, that was what had drawn her to speak with him in the first place. Actually, nearly everyone on the little shuttlecraft were feeling strong emotions, but most of them had to do with excitement and happiness. Only that blonde young man had felt fear and anxiety as well as deep depression, though it seemed he'd refused to let it show.
Maybe it was the fact that he'd had such an unusual pet and that he'd insisted on carrying its cage instead of having it beamed directly to his quarters. Maybe it was the feeling of despair she'd felt from him when they'd first met or maybe it was because he seemed to be working hard to hide something from her. Whatever it was, Deanna knew she wouldn't be happy until she found out what it was about this man that bothered her so much. There was just something about him that didn't seem to...well...fit.
In any event, there was little she could do for him unless he came to her asking for help or unless whatever was bothering him interfered with his duty.
On the Enterprise-
By the time the shuttle craft docked on the Enterprise, Leon had a terrible stomach ache. By the time he and the other passengers had gotten off the shuttle craft, the pain was gut wrenching and it was hard for Leon to walk upright. He kept as far away from everyone else as he could, struggling not to panic. Leon broke away from the tour as soon as the guide's back was turned. Leon knew that he didn't go on duty until the next day, so he had plenty of time to wander around with Jill and explore. First thing was first, though. Meds.
Leon's gut was starting to churn with fear from being away from the Earth. It wasn't just the fear, though. A sharp, stabbing pain nearly made him double over in pain and he realized that he was starting to sweat. He could barely hold Jill's cage, his hands were starting to go numb, and Leon could feel a terrible headache coming on. 'Come on,' Leon told himself. 'Just a little further. Keep walking.' He had to force himself to walk normally whenever he passed anyone and it wasn't easy. Even as the pain got worse, Leon began to think he was hearing voices and did his best to ignore them.
"My dear Detective...it was a dream...surely you do not think...?"
'Not real.' Leon told himself, firmly. He tucked his fingers between the bars of Jill's cage and brushed his fingertips against her feathers to reassure himself of what was real and what was not. 'Not real. It's just my imagination. Oh, shit, that hurts!' Leon had to stop at that point when a jolt of pain tore through him. When it had passed, Leon continued on, breathing heavily. His fear was now full blown panic and anger was burning in the pit of his mind. At last, Leon reached his quarters and went in as quickly as he could, least someone see the tears of pain now running down his cheeks.
Leon dropped his bag and set Jill's cage carefully on the floor before he tore open his bag and searched frantically for his meds. He injected the spray into the crux of his arm and immediately felt the relaxing effects. As it did every time, the world seemed to loose a little color, but Leon could also feel his emotions dulling and becoming easier to control. For a few minutes, the world became foggy, but that passed quickly. It was another of Mr. Goti's improvements on his original drug as he hadn't wanted Leon wandering around in a daze all the time. His fear of leaving Earth faded away into nothing. The pain in his stomach vanished as did the numbness in his fingers, the terrible headache, and his unreasonable emotions. They all faded away like sandcastles washed away by the sea and Leon collapsed, panting, onto the floor, his relief from the pain was that great.
For a few minutes, Leon just lay there on the floor and let himself relax. After a short while, sure that he was back to normal, Leon put Jill's cage on the glass-topped coffee table and looked around at what would be his home for the next few years. It was very...white. Sterile. 'Oh, well.' Leon thought, not really happy. It was going to take real work to make this place comfortable. Maybe a few posters here and there...
Leon turned his attention back to Jill. "You look grumpy day." Leon cooed, unlocking the cage door and letting Jill fly out. She circled the room once before coming to rest on Leon's arm and snapped irritably at Leon's finger. "Yeah." Leon agreed, amiably. "You evil tempered thing. You hate being locked up, huh? Well, we'll go for a walk in just a minute. Just let me get this stuff put away." With a jerk of his hand, Leon sent Jill back into the air where she circled gracefully around the room twice more and then settled, this time on a high lamp which gave her a perfect view of the whole room. After Leon had safely hidden both the hypospray and the container of pills, he called out. "Come on, Jill!" And held out his hand towards her and, as expected, she flew to him at once. "Let's go exploring!"
Their own little tour of the Enterprise probably wasn't as informative as the one the counselor was giving, perhaps, but Leon did discover most of what he was interested in. There was the holodeck and ten-forward and someone important.
Reggie-
Reggie was nervous. It wasn't really earthshaking news, Reggie was always nervous. Even when he sat in Ten-Forward, the 'heart' of the Enterprise, he couldn't help but feel excluded. It always felt like everyone was looking at him and he didn't know why. They weren't, he knew, but it still felt like they were. In fact, Reggie went to Ten-Forward everyday, but couldn't stand to stay for more than about twenty minutes. Most of those twenty minutes were spent sitting alone, drinking very hot tea, and wondering why he was there in the first place. 'I'm sitting here, doing nothing and speaking to no one, because Deanna said I should. Socializing is good for me, she said.'
Reggie glanced over his shoulder and happened to see Deanna walk in, heading directly for Guinan at the bar. He turned around quickly, before she could see him watching her. Reggie sometimes thought he'd do anything for Deanna. Other times, he simply hated her. Her beautiful face and carefree smile were heartbreaking, in a very real way. He wanted to cry every time he looked at her. Having sessions with Deanna were near torture, though he'd never told her why he was unbearably depressed every time he came to see her. He'd once known another girl who had looked just like Deanna, a precious girl.
"Reggie!"
The sudden shout made Reggie spill his tea all over the table and he whimpered at the sight. He was going to have to clean that up and now he had nothing to drink. Wait a minute...? Reggie? That voice...
"Reggie, you bastard!" Reggie was suddenly grabbed from behind. Huge arms wrapped around Reggie, pinning his arms to his side and he was lifted easily up off the chair and spun around in a wild circle before his feet were allowed to touch down on the floor again. Reggie was released and seized him by the arms by his assailant who whirled him around and Reggie found himself starring into very familiar blue eyes. "You don't call. You don't write. I'm gonna start thinking you don't love me anymore."
"Leon!" Reggie forgot about all the people around him and threw his arms around Leon, hugging him tightly. "I didn't know you were coming here. Look at you! Security? I never would have guessed." He had never been so happy to see anyone before in his life! Leon had changed so much in just a couple of years. He was nearly as tall as Reggie, but much more muscular. Leon still had the same boyish innocence that Reggie had thought so charming when they'd first met and the light in Leon's eyes hadn't faded.
"Well, how could I tell you anything, I had no damned idea where you were! It was like you dropped off the planet!" Leon smacked Reggie on the side of the head and Reggie could see that it wasn't an act. Leon really was upset. Of course he was, Leon never lied.
"But, I did...sort of." Reggie gestured around them. "We're not on Earth, remember."
Leon huffed and gave Reggie a gentle push, enough to knock him backwards into the chair he'd just been sitting in. "Smart ass." When he plopped down into the chair opposite of Reggie, Leon took a moment to just look at him, fondly. "Man. Feels like it's been a lifetime."
"Why...why, sit down. Yes. A whole lifetime. I really wish I'd known you were c-coming." Reggie noticed the large bird on Leon's shoulder. She was as haughty looking as ever, as if she owned the world around her and Reggie felt very small under her sharp eyes.
"You look so different, Reggie." Leon leaned forward and put his cheek on his hand, staring at Reggie, unashamed. "Christ!" Leon exclaimed all of a sudden, his eyes widened as if he'd just learned the terrible secrets of the universe. "You're losing your hair!"
Reggie blushed and put a hand to his hair, without thinking. All around them a soft laughter bubbled up and Reggie's blush deepened. He hadn't realized how many people had noticed them. It was no wonder with the entrance Leon had made. He absolutely hated being the center of attention and this sort of thing happened all to often. At least now, Reggie didn't have to worry that they were laughing at him behind his back. This time they were laughing right in front of him. Just when Reggie was thinking it would be a good time to runaway and escape the eyes and laughs,
"What the Hell are you laughing at, freaks?!" Leon slammed both hands down on the table and stood up with a fierce glare on his face as he looked around the room. "Mind your own damned business! Fucking bad manners!"
The room went very quiet and everyone stared, shocked at Leon's outburst, before they turned back to their own tables and kept their eyes carefully away from Reggie and Leon.
"T-thanks." Reggie said, somewhat stunned. It had been a very long time since anyone had bothered to stand up for him. It was more usual that Reggie would just end up abandoning whatever uncomfortable situation he was in. Still he shouldn't be making Leon take such a stand, and on Leon's first day on the ship. "Ummm, we can go somewhere quieter to talk, if you like."
"What?" Leon demanded, sitting down , but not bothering to lower his voice at all. "And let those bozo's get to you? I don't think so. Where were we? Yeah! Your hair! Shit, if Deirdre could see you now..." Leon stopped and paled. "Oh, man. Reggie, I'm sorry...I wasn't thinking."
"No. No, it's alright." Reggie lied. As if he didn't think about Deirdre every day. As if he didn't dream of her. Have nightmares about her that were so terrifying he woke up screaming...no. It wasn't alright. But Reggie kept on smiling. He was happy to see Leon and didn't want to hurt his feelings. Leon had been so young at the time, he probably didn't even understand how much Deirdre had meant to Reggie. "Let's talk about something else, huh? I see you've still got Jill. That's the same bird, isn't it?" Reggie was more than a little surprised. Birds didn't normally live so long, did they? Especially since Leon had confided in Reggie, when they were younger, that Jill had followed him around all his life. Still, Reggie somehow knew that it was Jill.
"It's the same old Jill, alright." Leon reached up, absently, and stroked Jill's feathers, ignoring her attempt to bite him. Jill sat on Leon's shoulder and was looking around the room while he and Reggie talked. Something seemed to catch its attention and it looked over it's shoulder in the way only a bird could. Leon didn't seem to notice and just kept on talking. "They let me keep her through the Academy and I couldn't bare to let her go when I graduated. She didn't object to staying in a cage for a little while and I'll let her fly free in my quarters." Leon's expression turned irritated as he seemed to remember something. "Let's talk about why you didn't so much as send me a message as this time? I was waiting to at least hear you were okay." His expression was just a tiny bit hurt, though he tried to look uncaring about it.
"What are you talking about?" Reggie asked, puzzled. "I sent lots of messages, but you never replied. I thought you were angry with me for leaving you at the Home. You didn't get them?" The blank look on Leon's face was enough of an answer and Reggie could guess what had happened. "I suppose Mr. Goti had something to do with it." Reggie slumped down in his chair, his hands clutched together in front of him. "We missed a lot of time. There was a lot I wanted to tell you about. You wouldn't believe some of the things I've seen on the Enterprise."
Guinan-
From behind her counter, her hand mechanically wiping nonexistent filth from her bar, Guinan watched the exchange with curious eyes. Unlike the rest of her patrons, who seemed amused by Reggie's friend, Guinan was cautious. There was something about that young man that seemed...familiar. She was sure she'd never seen him before, though she might have been mistaken. Humans all looked the same to her. More than the attention grabbing young man, Guinan found her eyes drawn to the large bird sitting on his shoulder. Her mouth tightened into a thin line and her eyes narrowed. Just looking at it made her angry.
That thing was definitely not a crow.
"Isn't that sweet?" Deanna muttered with a pleased smile when she came to sit near Guinan at the bar. "I don't think I've ever seen Reg so happy. What a nice surprise for him, to have a friend. I've never seen him with any close friends." Then she frowned slightly and went on, "I'm not sure what to think about his friend, though. I met him earlier and he seems like a very angry, confused young man."
"It's a surprise for all of us." Guinan said, more to herself than to Deanna. In all honestly, she wasn't all that concerned with Mr. Barclay's friend. She was much more worried about the bird. Or whatever it was. It took quite a lot to make Guinan angry and that bird managed it. How dare that thing come onto her ship!
"What do you mean?" Deanna asked, innocently unaware of the unpleasant thoughts running through Guinan's mind.
"Oh, nothing. I'm just thinking out loud. You'll have to excuse me a minute. I'll be right back." Guinan turned and headed away from Deanna, and the rest of Ten-Forward, and went into her office, a relatively small room behind the bar, and closed the door behind her. Once she was alone, Guinan turned to the one way window and looked out at her domain, Ten-Forward. With her hands clasped in front of her, Guinan kept her eyes firmly on the black bird and was only a little surprised when it turned and focused directly on her. Of course, it was possible that the bird wasn't looking at her, merely its own reflection in the mirror. Possible, but not likely. "Well?" Guinan said out loud, as if the bird could hear her. "Are you going to come for a chat or not?"
Guinan didn't like that bird being on the Enterprise. She couldn't help the growing feeling of anger, as well as worry, stirring deep inside her. She felt as if that thing had invaded her home. It was bad enough that the people of this ship faced all the dangers that they did, willingly facing down the unknown, but to think that now she had to deal with such a creature of power, but now she had to worry about why such a creature as that would willingly leave its home world. Of course it came on board willingly, how else could it? Certainly there was no way to force such a being to do anything it didn't want to do. If only she knew exactly what it was, then maybe she'd know what it wanted and how to deal with it.
She hadn't missed the fact that the bird stayed close to Mr. Barclay's new friend. That had to be an important clue. The man seemed entirely human, absolutely normal. What would he be doing with such a creature of power? Was it protecting him? Using him? To what end?
"So, you've noticed it, too." The familiar, yet unwelcome, voice echoed in Guinan's ears. "The audacity. Daring to leave its home world without even asking permission. Bad enough we didn't stop the other planet dwellers from entering our territory, but now we've got to deal with things like that? Such arrogance."
"You be careful." Guinan warned without turning to look at Q. "This could be...delicate."
"I'm touched." Q said, sarcastically. "You're worried for me?"
"No. I'm worried for everyone. It couldn't have left Earth without permission of someone and we know it wasn't your people. Right?"
"Right." If anything, his voice soured a bit. "I was SENT to investigate." No doubt that was the source of his irritation. Q hated being told what to do, no matter what the circumstances. "We knew something was happening, but not exactly what." He was suddenly standing next to Guinan without even remembering to use the dramatic flash of light. He only used that when he wanted to make a lasting impression. "I was told not to damage it. Not yet. The continuum wants to know what's going on, first." His tone was grim and more serious than Jean-Luc was ever likely to see Q. "This is bad, you understand. If I can't tell what's going on, someone with equal power to a Q is blocking me." He glanced at her. "Have you heard any rumors?"
"Nothing." Other thoughts haunted her, such as the idea that she now had to be grateful to Q for coming to help. That annoyed her more than anything. At one time, they had been equals. With her own power source, Guinan's powers had once rivaled Q's. Now, with the destruction of her world, Guinan was reduced to living off the charity of the Q continuum. Yes, she was just a bit bitter. If the continuum hadn't told Q to come investigate, she'd be on her own and probably against an enemy she couldn't hope to outclass. When Guinan turned to look at Q, she found that he'd moved again and, this time, sat at her desk with his feet up. "War may be coming."
"Yes. I suppose so." Q's voice was very serious, despite the careless words. "I wasn't expecting this."
"Get your feet off my desk." Q didn't listen and Guinan hadn't really expected him to. "This wasn't supposed to happen. Do you know what that thing is? I can't tell."
"No. Something's blocking me, just as it is you." Q shrugged slightly. "In all honesty, YOU weren't supposed to happen, either. Remember?"
Guinan came very close to hating Q. She didn't hate him, of course. That would have been far to petty an emotion for one of her kind. She hadn't forgotten whose fault it was that she was reduced to living on in a floating metal box in the cold depths of the void. Still...that had been long ago. Best to move on. "It's blocking both of us, that means it was expecting to encounter us, or at least our kind. It's prepared. I'll have a word with the creature."
Q seemed amused by that. "A powerless thing like you? You think you can handle the job?"
"This is my home now. I'll protect it."
"It's your home only by the good will of the Q continuum." He seemed much less bitter about this than many of the Q Guinan had met in her very long life. If anything, he was amused.
"Don't you mean the guilt of the Q?" Guinan bit back, unable to help herself.
"Must we argue semantics? The point is, if that creature turns out to be something dangerous, as we both believe it is, then you really don't stand a chance. Can't you take a guess about what it is? You've spent more time on Earth than I have."
"I have a few suspicions. There aren't many Earth creatures with such power as that. There's a legend about the crows of Earth. They escort the dead to the afterlife, but on rare occasions, they bring the spirits back to the living world." It could be true. Guinan had seen far more impossible things in her long life. Steeling herself, Guinan opened the door of her office and summoned the bird. It launched itself off the shoulder of Mr. Barclay's friend and soared over the heads of everyone in Ten-Forward, completely unseen. Even the bird's blond companion didn't seem to notice it gone, for a moment. A moment was all Guinan needed.
The crow flew through the open door of Guinan's office and landed on the desk, between Guinan and Q, and seemed to bow before them. "Greetings."
Guinan bowed her head, politely, in return. "Greetings. May I ask what you're doing away from your home world?" Best to keep this civil, at least until she knew who this thing was working for and what it was.
"That is my concern and none of yours." The voice was just as proud and arrogant as the bird looked.
"This ship and its people are all my concern."
"Untrue. Humans belong to the Earth." The crows glittering eyes looked at Guinan completely unafraid. "Humans are not your concern."
"True." A flash of light and Q had gone from his reclined seat to standing next to Guinan. She didn't step away from him, no matter how much she wanted to. Even with Q, especially with this particular Q, she couldn't afford to show any signs of weakness. "This ship isn't hers, it's mine. As for the people, they were abandoned, if I remember correctly. Abandoned the moment they left Earth and until they return, putting their feet on Earth soil again, they're mine." He gave Guinan a smug grin. "I'm just letting her borrow them."
'You conceited bastard.' Guinan thought, knowing that Q would be able to hear her thoughts. 'Can't let me forget it for a minute.'
'No. I can't. I don't get to have nearly so much fun with these people since you came here.'
'Deal with it.' Guinan really didn't want to anger the crow, it was too dangerous for the crew of this ship. "What are you?" That was an important question. She couldn't see through its disguise, so there could be anything behind the image of the crow. A dragon, a dog, anything!
"I am myself. I owe you no further explanations." The crow said, its glimmering eyes not giving a hint of emotion.
"Are you forgetting whom you're speaking to?" Q scowled at the crow and kept his arms folded across his chest. He really didn't like being spoken to so disrespectfully. Not that Guinan really cared about what Q liked or didn't like.
The crow met Q's eyes, just as fearlessly as it had Guinan's. "I forget very little. I know what you are." It's eyes shifted to Guinan. "What you both are."
Guinan wasn't surprised. "If you know what we are, then I'm sure you have sense enough to obey us. You don't belong here."
"I belong where my master wishes me to be." The crow gracefully spread her wings. "I will stay here so long as my master requires me, regardless of your opinions." She paused a minute. "However, I assure you, my time here shall not last long. Your questions weary me. Would you ply your force against me?" The careless tone was gone and the crow looked right at them, menacingly. "Do as you wish. But know that should I be forced to leave at this time, the mortal I am with is more valuable, by far, than mine. If his death is discovered to have been at your hands or even caused by your negligence, there will be war."
"Are you guarding him?" Guinan asked.
"No. Merely watching."
"Then why the threats?" Q asked, though his arrogant tone was muted, now. Even he didn't like the idea of war on a cosmic scale. Such a war would not be good for anyone.
"No threats. A warning." The crow replied. "I have no interest in any of the other creatures of this ship, where this ship goes, or what its people do. I have only one interest. Be of good cheer, our paths need not cross more than this once." The crow gave a little hop, turning itself around, before it jumped up, spread its wings and flapped back across Ten-Forward to land on the shoulder of the man it had come in with.
Q and Guinan watched in silence for a moment before Guinan closed the door once again. "Do you know that man?" Q asked.
"No. He's new. You?" Of course Q would know more, it was one of his special talents.
Q concentrated for the barest of seconds before he spoke. "Leon Barns. It's his first day here, he came on board with the other raw recruits. Stupid human customs. He's an orphan and has some kind of unnatural chemical in his body. He deliberately pollutes himself with it. He was in an institution where they force-fed him the drugs and he'd addicted, now. Funnily enough, your Mr. Barclay was there with him, though Mr. Barclay weaned himself off the chemicals once he escaped the institution and Mr. Barns did not." Q stopped and shook his head with the air of someone trying to do a puzzle with one piece missing. "There's nothing special about him, though. He's just a normal human."
Leon-
Leon grabbed Jill as soon as she came back to him and set her on his lap, petting her back. "Something good must have happened." Leon commented to Reggie. "She's very pleased with herself."
"You can tell?" Reggie looked blankly at the bird.
"Yeah. I wonder what it was? Hey, ya know...what are you looking at?" Leon asked when he found that he wasn't the center of Reggie's attention any longer.
"Huh? Oh, nothing."
"You're a terrible liar." Leon scowled and turned to face the direction Reggie had been looking in. He groaned when he saw that councilor, Troi, sitting with a dark skinned woman wearing an absurdly huge hat. They both looked towards Reggie and Leon and Leon couldn't help but think that she was talking about him until he saw something he hadn't noticed before. "Reggie...she looks just like..."
"Please," Reggie suddenly bowed over putting his face on his crossed arms. "Don't say it. Trust me, I've already noticed the same thing. A lot. All the time. Every day." When he looked up, Leon saw the grief still fresh in Reggie's eyes. "If Deirdre had lived and grown up, she'd look just like counselor Troi. They only s-share the same faces. Their personalities are entirely different. Deanna's nice, but she hasn't got Deirdre's spirit."
To be continued...
Dear readers: I'm not quite sure where this story's going. I will continue on the two week update schedule, though.
Thanks so much to everyone who's reviewed, I'm very grateful. Forgive me if I'm doing anything wrong with the star trek universe, it's not really my best suit. Reginald Barclay is my favorite star trek character, for some reason, so he'll probably stay the focus of the story.
How Long Love Chapter 6: Suspicious
Years later-
Leon-
Dark Danger Drug Dragon Destiny Devil Death Dream D...D...D...
Why did so many things start with the letter D?
Enterprise D.
"Hey, Barns! Wake up, already. We're almost there."
Woken out of a deep, sound sleep, Leon managed to rub his eyes with one hand and groped for his bird with the other. "Get your hands off me." Leon grumbled, not caring if he was being polite or not. "I'm up. I'm up." He groggily looked around and remembered where he was.
All around him, eager young ensigns were excitedly babbling and pointing out the windows of the shuttlecraft. It as a rainbow of colors, not all the passengers of this little shuttlecraft were ensigns. There were the seasoned officers of the Enterprise and Leon saw them all watching the ensigns with amusement and tolerance. Leon tried to ignore them all. He wondered what demon had ever gotten into him and convinced him that Starfleet was a good idea. He'd like to find that demon and give it a good beating.
All right, maybe it wasn't exactly a demon, but Leon wasn't really sure what had made him enter Starfleet academy. He was pretty sure it had something to do with boredom. He had no direction for his life and no plans at all, so, with nothing better to do, Leon had done what many people did. He'd signed up for the academy as soon as he turned eighteen. It was a great chance to escape Mr. Goti's grasp, the man couldn't reach him if he was light-years away on a starship, and he'd be able to find Reggie. It was important to find Reggie, Leon believed. Reggie had done so much for him when they'd been together and, at the very least, Leon wanted to thank him.
Of course it would have been faster to take the transporter, instead of the shuttlecraft, but he'd wanted to get a good look at his new ship. In fact, that was why everyone else had taken the shuttlecraft and Leon was starting to think that he'd been more than a little stupid. He, like everyone else in the universe, had seen pictures of the famous flag ship, the Enterprise. What had gotten into him to make him think he needed a closer view? 'Stupid tradition.' Leon thought as yet another young ensign bumped into him to get a better spot by the window. 'Everyone does it, so I do, too. Stupid. Should have just beamed on board. Maybe these damned drugs are finally starting to kill my brain cells.'
Leon, out of habit, looked into his duffle bag, searching around to make sure he had his pills and his hypospray. Of course he had them. He'd checked four times before he'd left his dorm at the Academy. Still, he wanted to make very sure. Leon had never dared to get his medication tested by any kind of doctor, it was too risky, but he did, sort of, understand what they were doing to him. He didn't have any more of the weird waking dreams which had plagued him so the drug must be some kind of represent. 'Weird isn't the right word. They weren't really bad dreams. Actually, they were kind of nice. I think. Wish I could remember them better. Sure was a Hell of a lot better than reality from what I remember. Be nice if that kind of thing was real.' Leon had laughed at himself for thoughts like that, in the past. People who preferred fantasy over reality generally weren't given good jobs in Starfleet, so he'd have to keep that opinion to himself.
Not that it really mattered. Religiously taking his meds, Leon's last waking dream had been that terrifying time when he'd seen himself as an older man in the mirror of his dorm room. His reflection had yelled and cursed him for being a coward. THAT had been an experience never to be forgotten. Leon still feared that something like that would happen again and really mess up his life. He tried to convince himself that he was perfectly normal, so long as he took his meds. Yup, normal. Absolutely just like everyone else...
"You okay so far, Jill?" Leon peered into the small birdcage at the large bird. It was really far too small for such a big crow, but Leon didn't have much choice. He sure as heck wasn't going to let her be put into cargo transport and the shuttlecraft crew wouldn't allow a bigger cage, saying that it would take up too much room. "Just a little bit longer."
The bird, Jill, squawked loudly in her cage and Leon smiled lovingly at her. Her bead-like black eyes glittered when she turned to look at him.
"Good girl." Leon reached in between the narrow bars of the birdcage with one finger and stroked her midnight black coat of feathers. "You just wait, this won't take to long. Just a little longer and we'll be on our new home."
Leon looked over his shoulder, out the window of the shuttlecraft, and saw Earth from space for the first time in his life. He'd never been off Earth before and he wasn't quite sure that he was doing the right thing. Something deep inside him told Leon that he should be staying on Earth and that he had no business abandoning her for space. He had no reason to be in space, period. After all, there was something important he'd forgotten on Earth. It didn't help matters that Leon had no idea what it was that he'd forgotten, but he thought it might have something to do with a person. Or maybe it was people.
"What am I forgetting?" Leon whispered to Jill. He sometimes wished she could answer him, but that was just another fantasy. Birds don't talk. Even as Leon tried to remember who, or what, it was that he was forgetting, he felt his heart speed up at the sight of Earth getting smaller and smaller. He suddenly wished he'd failed all his exams and had to take a job whitewashing the Academy buildings. At least he'd still be on Earth.
'Stupid. I need the meds again.' Leon wished he had someplace private, but he hadn't had any privacy in hours. 'There's nothing to be scared of.'
Jill swiveled her head to look at him and he could swear that she was angry with him.
'Oh, leave me alone. I'll believe what I like! There's nothing wrong with me anymore.' After reassuring himself, and his beloved pet, Leon turned just enough in his seat so he could look out at the approaching Enterprise, feeling like a gawking tourist all the while. He stared at the immense white behemoth that was going to be his home for probably the next few years. There were hundreds of little windows on the Enterprise with light shining out and Leon wondered if many of those people were awake or if they'd just decided to put on the lights to make the Enterprise look good while it was in dock.
Jill looked distinctly irritated as she flapped her wings restlessly and cawed loudly enough that several people turned to look at Leon.
"Now, now." Leon muttered soothingly. "We'll be there soon. It's just a little further now." Poor Jill had been confined in the cage since they'd left Earth. Back on Earth, he'd been able to leave the window open and let her come and go as she pleased. Now she was going to have to make do with the quarter he'd get on the Enterprise and the holodeck when he got the chance to use it. Part of Leon doubted that it was the confinement that had Jill so worked up.
"She's well behaved. Is she an Earth bird?"
Leon looked up to find a pair of very big chocolate brown eyes looking down at him. She was one of the most beautiful women Leon had ever seen in the life without a doubt. She was very fair with long dark hair that matched the chocolate of her sparkling eyes. A curvy woman with full figure that could never be mistaken for fat, though not very tall. Her smiled was wide and genuine, her lips full. In short, she was a man's dream come true. Well, most men's dreams, anyway.
"Is that supposed to be a joke? It's not funny. She's foul tempered and stubborn. She's a crow." Leon replied, though his spirits sank at the sight of the remarkably beautiful woman. "Jill's just getting anxious being cooped up like this." He looked away from the woman and back down to Jill who was preening herself. "She'll be glad when we get to the ship."
"Is this your first time on the Enterprise?"
Leon looked the woman up and down brazenly, but, despite her sex appeal, he just couldn't bring himself to feel anything. She was the type of woman most men would drool at the sight of, yet Leon just turned away from her, depressed. He was disgusted, not by her, but by his own indifference. 'What the Hell's wrong with me?' He wondered, looking back to Jill. 'I just can't seem to feel anything for anyone.' At one point, Leon had thought that he might be homosexual, but he'd never felt any inclinations to men, either. 'It's like being dead from the waist down. God, I'm depressed.'
"Yep." Leon answered casually and tried to look as nonchalant as possible. "I've never even been in space before." Maybe if he acted like there was nothing wrong with him, she wouldn't guess. If he acted like a normal man she wouldn't think he was weird.
The dark haired woman waited for a moment, apparently waiting for him to say more, but when he didn't, she said, "You don't seem at all happy. In fact, you seem just a bit depressed." The curvy woman sat next to Leon and looked at him with a soft smile and Leon was instantly suspicious. "Do you want to talk?"
"I always want to talk." Leon smiled brightly. "But there's nothing wrong with me." He was trying to be as charming as possible, but when she didn't answer, Leon looked away from her at back out at the Enterprise as it drew closer and closer. He didn't like it when people took him too seriously and he really needed to take his medicine. The terrible feeling of fear was growing as they got further and further from Earth. The nagging feeling of having forgotten something still ate away at him. If he didn't take the meds soon, the dreams would start up again and he might get lost in them this time. That wouldn't be a good way to start his career.
The woman didn't look as if she believed him. "Well, if you change your mind, I'm counselor Deanna Troi, I'll be available on the Enterprise. Feel free to stop by my office for...where are you going?"
'Aw, shit.' Leon, suddenly uncomfortable with how close she was, stood up and gathered his things even as he mentally cursed. Now he'd have to wait to take his meds. "Gonna find a quieter seat. You talk to damned much." He'd read all about the Enterprise and its command crew. This was the empath, the one that could feel other people's emotions Leon had heard all. This was the last thing Leon wanted to deal with!
"Oh, sit." Troi sighed with the expression of a woman who'd been through this sort of thing before. She negligently waved a hand at Leon. "You don't have to worry, I can control my mind very well and I'm not looking to get any kind of secrets from you. Whatever you're thinking about is your business and I won't pry. I was just a bit worried. Usually, people are excited about coming to the Enterprise, you just seemed a little down, that's all."
Counselors, in general, were bad enough with their psycho babble and theories that he had abandonment issues, but a counselor who knew what one was feeling was a definite threat. "Don't worry about me, lady." Leon told her, looking out the window, again. "I'll be just fine. I don't need to talk." The fact that he'd already gone though several years of counseling had dulled his taste for them and he hoped that this one wasn't going to find out that he'd been going in the past. She might feel obliged to continue his counseling and Leon didn't think he could deal with that.
"You're lying." She told him in a matter-a-fact tone, but not unkindly. "You're very much afraid right now, but you don't want to admit it. I'm not sure why and I can't force you to tell me, but I will tell you that talking about your fears often helps them to go away."
Leon help Jill tightly with his duffle bag slung precariously over his shoulder. She was way to perceptive. "Screw off, lady." Then he turned and went to the other end of the shuttlecraft, determined that he'd avoid her at all costs for as long as he was on the Enterprise.
Counselor Troi-
Deanna had never been told to screw off before. She wasn't a saint and didn't pretend that the insult didn't irritate her. Irritate? It made her so angry she could barely think. Then, still sitting where she'd been when the young ensign had abandoned his seat she settled for watching him. He hadn't let go of the crow for an instant and, Deanna felt foolish later for thinking such a thing, she was sure that the crow gave her a dirty look as the young ensign walked away with it.
She had felt such overpowering emotions from him, that was what had drawn her to speak with him in the first place. Actually, nearly everyone on the little shuttlecraft were feeling strong emotions, but most of them had to do with excitement and happiness. Only that blonde young man had felt fear and anxiety as well as deep depression, though it seemed he'd refused to let it show.
Maybe it was the fact that he'd had such an unusual pet and that he'd insisted on carrying its cage instead of having it beamed directly to his quarters. Maybe it was the feeling of despair she'd felt from him when they'd first met or maybe it was because he seemed to be working hard to hide something from her. Whatever it was, Deanna knew she wouldn't be happy until she found out what it was about this man that bothered her so much. There was just something about him that didn't seem to...well...fit.
In any event, there was little she could do for him unless he came to her asking for help or unless whatever was bothering him interfered with his duty.
On the Enterprise-
By the time the shuttle craft docked on the Enterprise, Leon had a terrible stomach ache. By the time he and the other passengers had gotten off the shuttle craft, the pain was gut wrenching and it was hard for Leon to walk upright. He kept as far away from everyone else as he could, struggling not to panic. Leon broke away from the tour as soon as the guide's back was turned. Leon knew that he didn't go on duty until the next day, so he had plenty of time to wander around with Jill and explore. First thing was first, though. Meds.
Leon's gut was starting to churn with fear from being away from the Earth. It wasn't just the fear, though. A sharp, stabbing pain nearly made him double over in pain and he realized that he was starting to sweat. He could barely hold Jill's cage, his hands were starting to go numb, and Leon could feel a terrible headache coming on. 'Come on,' Leon told himself. 'Just a little further. Keep walking.' He had to force himself to walk normally whenever he passed anyone and it wasn't easy. Even as the pain got worse, Leon began to think he was hearing voices and did his best to ignore them.
"My dear Detective...it was a dream...surely you do not think...?"
'Not real.' Leon told himself, firmly. He tucked his fingers between the bars of Jill's cage and brushed his fingertips against her feathers to reassure himself of what was real and what was not. 'Not real. It's just my imagination. Oh, shit, that hurts!' Leon had to stop at that point when a jolt of pain tore through him. When it had passed, Leon continued on, breathing heavily. His fear was now full blown panic and anger was burning in the pit of his mind. At last, Leon reached his quarters and went in as quickly as he could, least someone see the tears of pain now running down his cheeks.
Leon dropped his bag and set Jill's cage carefully on the floor before he tore open his bag and searched frantically for his meds. He injected the spray into the crux of his arm and immediately felt the relaxing effects. As it did every time, the world seemed to loose a little color, but Leon could also feel his emotions dulling and becoming easier to control. For a few minutes, the world became foggy, but that passed quickly. It was another of Mr. Goti's improvements on his original drug as he hadn't wanted Leon wandering around in a daze all the time. His fear of leaving Earth faded away into nothing. The pain in his stomach vanished as did the numbness in his fingers, the terrible headache, and his unreasonable emotions. They all faded away like sandcastles washed away by the sea and Leon collapsed, panting, onto the floor, his relief from the pain was that great.
For a few minutes, Leon just lay there on the floor and let himself relax. After a short while, sure that he was back to normal, Leon put Jill's cage on the glass-topped coffee table and looked around at what would be his home for the next few years. It was very...white. Sterile. 'Oh, well.' Leon thought, not really happy. It was going to take real work to make this place comfortable. Maybe a few posters here and there...
Leon turned his attention back to Jill. "You look grumpy day." Leon cooed, unlocking the cage door and letting Jill fly out. She circled the room once before coming to rest on Leon's arm and snapped irritably at Leon's finger. "Yeah." Leon agreed, amiably. "You evil tempered thing. You hate being locked up, huh? Well, we'll go for a walk in just a minute. Just let me get this stuff put away." With a jerk of his hand, Leon sent Jill back into the air where she circled gracefully around the room twice more and then settled, this time on a high lamp which gave her a perfect view of the whole room. After Leon had safely hidden both the hypospray and the container of pills, he called out. "Come on, Jill!" And held out his hand towards her and, as expected, she flew to him at once. "Let's go exploring!"
Their own little tour of the Enterprise probably wasn't as informative as the one the counselor was giving, perhaps, but Leon did discover most of what he was interested in. There was the holodeck and ten-forward and someone important.
Reggie-
Reggie was nervous. It wasn't really earthshaking news, Reggie was always nervous. Even when he sat in Ten-Forward, the 'heart' of the Enterprise, he couldn't help but feel excluded. It always felt like everyone was looking at him and he didn't know why. They weren't, he knew, but it still felt like they were. In fact, Reggie went to Ten-Forward everyday, but couldn't stand to stay for more than about twenty minutes. Most of those twenty minutes were spent sitting alone, drinking very hot tea, and wondering why he was there in the first place. 'I'm sitting here, doing nothing and speaking to no one, because Deanna said I should. Socializing is good for me, she said.'
Reggie glanced over his shoulder and happened to see Deanna walk in, heading directly for Guinan at the bar. He turned around quickly, before she could see him watching her. Reggie sometimes thought he'd do anything for Deanna. Other times, he simply hated her. Her beautiful face and carefree smile were heartbreaking, in a very real way. He wanted to cry every time he looked at her. Having sessions with Deanna were near torture, though he'd never told her why he was unbearably depressed every time he came to see her. He'd once known another girl who had looked just like Deanna, a precious girl.
"Reggie!"
The sudden shout made Reggie spill his tea all over the table and he whimpered at the sight. He was going to have to clean that up and now he had nothing to drink. Wait a minute...? Reggie? That voice...
"Reggie, you bastard!" Reggie was suddenly grabbed from behind. Huge arms wrapped around Reggie, pinning his arms to his side and he was lifted easily up off the chair and spun around in a wild circle before his feet were allowed to touch down on the floor again. Reggie was released and seized him by the arms by his assailant who whirled him around and Reggie found himself starring into very familiar blue eyes. "You don't call. You don't write. I'm gonna start thinking you don't love me anymore."
"Leon!" Reggie forgot about all the people around him and threw his arms around Leon, hugging him tightly. "I didn't know you were coming here. Look at you! Security? I never would have guessed." He had never been so happy to see anyone before in his life! Leon had changed so much in just a couple of years. He was nearly as tall as Reggie, but much more muscular. Leon still had the same boyish innocence that Reggie had thought so charming when they'd first met and the light in Leon's eyes hadn't faded.
"Well, how could I tell you anything, I had no damned idea where you were! It was like you dropped off the planet!" Leon smacked Reggie on the side of the head and Reggie could see that it wasn't an act. Leon really was upset. Of course he was, Leon never lied.
"But, I did...sort of." Reggie gestured around them. "We're not on Earth, remember."
Leon huffed and gave Reggie a gentle push, enough to knock him backwards into the chair he'd just been sitting in. "Smart ass." When he plopped down into the chair opposite of Reggie, Leon took a moment to just look at him, fondly. "Man. Feels like it's been a lifetime."
"Why...why, sit down. Yes. A whole lifetime. I really wish I'd known you were c-coming." Reggie noticed the large bird on Leon's shoulder. She was as haughty looking as ever, as if she owned the world around her and Reggie felt very small under her sharp eyes.
"You look so different, Reggie." Leon leaned forward and put his cheek on his hand, staring at Reggie, unashamed. "Christ!" Leon exclaimed all of a sudden, his eyes widened as if he'd just learned the terrible secrets of the universe. "You're losing your hair!"
Reggie blushed and put a hand to his hair, without thinking. All around them a soft laughter bubbled up and Reggie's blush deepened. He hadn't realized how many people had noticed them. It was no wonder with the entrance Leon had made. He absolutely hated being the center of attention and this sort of thing happened all to often. At least now, Reggie didn't have to worry that they were laughing at him behind his back. This time they were laughing right in front of him. Just when Reggie was thinking it would be a good time to runaway and escape the eyes and laughs,
"What the Hell are you laughing at, freaks?!" Leon slammed both hands down on the table and stood up with a fierce glare on his face as he looked around the room. "Mind your own damned business! Fucking bad manners!"
The room went very quiet and everyone stared, shocked at Leon's outburst, before they turned back to their own tables and kept their eyes carefully away from Reggie and Leon.
"T-thanks." Reggie said, somewhat stunned. It had been a very long time since anyone had bothered to stand up for him. It was more usual that Reggie would just end up abandoning whatever uncomfortable situation he was in. Still he shouldn't be making Leon take such a stand, and on Leon's first day on the ship. "Ummm, we can go somewhere quieter to talk, if you like."
"What?" Leon demanded, sitting down , but not bothering to lower his voice at all. "And let those bozo's get to you? I don't think so. Where were we? Yeah! Your hair! Shit, if Deirdre could see you now..." Leon stopped and paled. "Oh, man. Reggie, I'm sorry...I wasn't thinking."
"No. No, it's alright." Reggie lied. As if he didn't think about Deirdre every day. As if he didn't dream of her. Have nightmares about her that were so terrifying he woke up screaming...no. It wasn't alright. But Reggie kept on smiling. He was happy to see Leon and didn't want to hurt his feelings. Leon had been so young at the time, he probably didn't even understand how much Deirdre had meant to Reggie. "Let's talk about something else, huh? I see you've still got Jill. That's the same bird, isn't it?" Reggie was more than a little surprised. Birds didn't normally live so long, did they? Especially since Leon had confided in Reggie, when they were younger, that Jill had followed him around all his life. Still, Reggie somehow knew that it was Jill.
"It's the same old Jill, alright." Leon reached up, absently, and stroked Jill's feathers, ignoring her attempt to bite him. Jill sat on Leon's shoulder and was looking around the room while he and Reggie talked. Something seemed to catch its attention and it looked over it's shoulder in the way only a bird could. Leon didn't seem to notice and just kept on talking. "They let me keep her through the Academy and I couldn't bare to let her go when I graduated. She didn't object to staying in a cage for a little while and I'll let her fly free in my quarters." Leon's expression turned irritated as he seemed to remember something. "Let's talk about why you didn't so much as send me a message as this time? I was waiting to at least hear you were okay." His expression was just a tiny bit hurt, though he tried to look uncaring about it.
"What are you talking about?" Reggie asked, puzzled. "I sent lots of messages, but you never replied. I thought you were angry with me for leaving you at the Home. You didn't get them?" The blank look on Leon's face was enough of an answer and Reggie could guess what had happened. "I suppose Mr. Goti had something to do with it." Reggie slumped down in his chair, his hands clutched together in front of him. "We missed a lot of time. There was a lot I wanted to tell you about. You wouldn't believe some of the things I've seen on the Enterprise."
Guinan-
From behind her counter, her hand mechanically wiping nonexistent filth from her bar, Guinan watched the exchange with curious eyes. Unlike the rest of her patrons, who seemed amused by Reggie's friend, Guinan was cautious. There was something about that young man that seemed...familiar. She was sure she'd never seen him before, though she might have been mistaken. Humans all looked the same to her. More than the attention grabbing young man, Guinan found her eyes drawn to the large bird sitting on his shoulder. Her mouth tightened into a thin line and her eyes narrowed. Just looking at it made her angry.
That thing was definitely not a crow.
"Isn't that sweet?" Deanna muttered with a pleased smile when she came to sit near Guinan at the bar. "I don't think I've ever seen Reg so happy. What a nice surprise for him, to have a friend. I've never seen him with any close friends." Then she frowned slightly and went on, "I'm not sure what to think about his friend, though. I met him earlier and he seems like a very angry, confused young man."
"It's a surprise for all of us." Guinan said, more to herself than to Deanna. In all honestly, she wasn't all that concerned with Mr. Barclay's friend. She was much more worried about the bird. Or whatever it was. It took quite a lot to make Guinan angry and that bird managed it. How dare that thing come onto her ship!
"What do you mean?" Deanna asked, innocently unaware of the unpleasant thoughts running through Guinan's mind.
"Oh, nothing. I'm just thinking out loud. You'll have to excuse me a minute. I'll be right back." Guinan turned and headed away from Deanna, and the rest of Ten-Forward, and went into her office, a relatively small room behind the bar, and closed the door behind her. Once she was alone, Guinan turned to the one way window and looked out at her domain, Ten-Forward. With her hands clasped in front of her, Guinan kept her eyes firmly on the black bird and was only a little surprised when it turned and focused directly on her. Of course, it was possible that the bird wasn't looking at her, merely its own reflection in the mirror. Possible, but not likely. "Well?" Guinan said out loud, as if the bird could hear her. "Are you going to come for a chat or not?"
Guinan didn't like that bird being on the Enterprise. She couldn't help the growing feeling of anger, as well as worry, stirring deep inside her. She felt as if that thing had invaded her home. It was bad enough that the people of this ship faced all the dangers that they did, willingly facing down the unknown, but to think that now she had to deal with such a creature of power, but now she had to worry about why such a creature as that would willingly leave its home world. Of course it came on board willingly, how else could it? Certainly there was no way to force such a being to do anything it didn't want to do. If only she knew exactly what it was, then maybe she'd know what it wanted and how to deal with it.
She hadn't missed the fact that the bird stayed close to Mr. Barclay's new friend. That had to be an important clue. The man seemed entirely human, absolutely normal. What would he be doing with such a creature of power? Was it protecting him? Using him? To what end?
"So, you've noticed it, too." The familiar, yet unwelcome, voice echoed in Guinan's ears. "The audacity. Daring to leave its home world without even asking permission. Bad enough we didn't stop the other planet dwellers from entering our territory, but now we've got to deal with things like that? Such arrogance."
"You be careful." Guinan warned without turning to look at Q. "This could be...delicate."
"I'm touched." Q said, sarcastically. "You're worried for me?"
"No. I'm worried for everyone. It couldn't have left Earth without permission of someone and we know it wasn't your people. Right?"
"Right." If anything, his voice soured a bit. "I was SENT to investigate." No doubt that was the source of his irritation. Q hated being told what to do, no matter what the circumstances. "We knew something was happening, but not exactly what." He was suddenly standing next to Guinan without even remembering to use the dramatic flash of light. He only used that when he wanted to make a lasting impression. "I was told not to damage it. Not yet. The continuum wants to know what's going on, first." His tone was grim and more serious than Jean-Luc was ever likely to see Q. "This is bad, you understand. If I can't tell what's going on, someone with equal power to a Q is blocking me." He glanced at her. "Have you heard any rumors?"
"Nothing." Other thoughts haunted her, such as the idea that she now had to be grateful to Q for coming to help. That annoyed her more than anything. At one time, they had been equals. With her own power source, Guinan's powers had once rivaled Q's. Now, with the destruction of her world, Guinan was reduced to living off the charity of the Q continuum. Yes, she was just a bit bitter. If the continuum hadn't told Q to come investigate, she'd be on her own and probably against an enemy she couldn't hope to outclass. When Guinan turned to look at Q, she found that he'd moved again and, this time, sat at her desk with his feet up. "War may be coming."
"Yes. I suppose so." Q's voice was very serious, despite the careless words. "I wasn't expecting this."
"Get your feet off my desk." Q didn't listen and Guinan hadn't really expected him to. "This wasn't supposed to happen. Do you know what that thing is? I can't tell."
"No. Something's blocking me, just as it is you." Q shrugged slightly. "In all honesty, YOU weren't supposed to happen, either. Remember?"
Guinan came very close to hating Q. She didn't hate him, of course. That would have been far to petty an emotion for one of her kind. She hadn't forgotten whose fault it was that she was reduced to living on in a floating metal box in the cold depths of the void. Still...that had been long ago. Best to move on. "It's blocking both of us, that means it was expecting to encounter us, or at least our kind. It's prepared. I'll have a word with the creature."
Q seemed amused by that. "A powerless thing like you? You think you can handle the job?"
"This is my home now. I'll protect it."
"It's your home only by the good will of the Q continuum." He seemed much less bitter about this than many of the Q Guinan had met in her very long life. If anything, he was amused.
"Don't you mean the guilt of the Q?" Guinan bit back, unable to help herself.
"Must we argue semantics? The point is, if that creature turns out to be something dangerous, as we both believe it is, then you really don't stand a chance. Can't you take a guess about what it is? You've spent more time on Earth than I have."
"I have a few suspicions. There aren't many Earth creatures with such power as that. There's a legend about the crows of Earth. They escort the dead to the afterlife, but on rare occasions, they bring the spirits back to the living world." It could be true. Guinan had seen far more impossible things in her long life. Steeling herself, Guinan opened the door of her office and summoned the bird. It launched itself off the shoulder of Mr. Barclay's friend and soared over the heads of everyone in Ten-Forward, completely unseen. Even the bird's blond companion didn't seem to notice it gone, for a moment. A moment was all Guinan needed.
The crow flew through the open door of Guinan's office and landed on the desk, between Guinan and Q, and seemed to bow before them. "Greetings."
Guinan bowed her head, politely, in return. "Greetings. May I ask what you're doing away from your home world?" Best to keep this civil, at least until she knew who this thing was working for and what it was.
"That is my concern and none of yours." The voice was just as proud and arrogant as the bird looked.
"This ship and its people are all my concern."
"Untrue. Humans belong to the Earth." The crows glittering eyes looked at Guinan completely unafraid. "Humans are not your concern."
"True." A flash of light and Q had gone from his reclined seat to standing next to Guinan. She didn't step away from him, no matter how much she wanted to. Even with Q, especially with this particular Q, she couldn't afford to show any signs of weakness. "This ship isn't hers, it's mine. As for the people, they were abandoned, if I remember correctly. Abandoned the moment they left Earth and until they return, putting their feet on Earth soil again, they're mine." He gave Guinan a smug grin. "I'm just letting her borrow them."
'You conceited bastard.' Guinan thought, knowing that Q would be able to hear her thoughts. 'Can't let me forget it for a minute.'
'No. I can't. I don't get to have nearly so much fun with these people since you came here.'
'Deal with it.' Guinan really didn't want to anger the crow, it was too dangerous for the crew of this ship. "What are you?" That was an important question. She couldn't see through its disguise, so there could be anything behind the image of the crow. A dragon, a dog, anything!
"I am myself. I owe you no further explanations." The crow said, its glimmering eyes not giving a hint of emotion.
"Are you forgetting whom you're speaking to?" Q scowled at the crow and kept his arms folded across his chest. He really didn't like being spoken to so disrespectfully. Not that Guinan really cared about what Q liked or didn't like.
The crow met Q's eyes, just as fearlessly as it had Guinan's. "I forget very little. I know what you are." It's eyes shifted to Guinan. "What you both are."
Guinan wasn't surprised. "If you know what we are, then I'm sure you have sense enough to obey us. You don't belong here."
"I belong where my master wishes me to be." The crow gracefully spread her wings. "I will stay here so long as my master requires me, regardless of your opinions." She paused a minute. "However, I assure you, my time here shall not last long. Your questions weary me. Would you ply your force against me?" The careless tone was gone and the crow looked right at them, menacingly. "Do as you wish. But know that should I be forced to leave at this time, the mortal I am with is more valuable, by far, than mine. If his death is discovered to have been at your hands or even caused by your negligence, there will be war."
"Are you guarding him?" Guinan asked.
"No. Merely watching."
"Then why the threats?" Q asked, though his arrogant tone was muted, now. Even he didn't like the idea of war on a cosmic scale. Such a war would not be good for anyone.
"No threats. A warning." The crow replied. "I have no interest in any of the other creatures of this ship, where this ship goes, or what its people do. I have only one interest. Be of good cheer, our paths need not cross more than this once." The crow gave a little hop, turning itself around, before it jumped up, spread its wings and flapped back across Ten-Forward to land on the shoulder of the man it had come in with.
Q and Guinan watched in silence for a moment before Guinan closed the door once again. "Do you know that man?" Q asked.
"No. He's new. You?" Of course Q would know more, it was one of his special talents.
Q concentrated for the barest of seconds before he spoke. "Leon Barns. It's his first day here, he came on board with the other raw recruits. Stupid human customs. He's an orphan and has some kind of unnatural chemical in his body. He deliberately pollutes himself with it. He was in an institution where they force-fed him the drugs and he'd addicted, now. Funnily enough, your Mr. Barclay was there with him, though Mr. Barclay weaned himself off the chemicals once he escaped the institution and Mr. Barns did not." Q stopped and shook his head with the air of someone trying to do a puzzle with one piece missing. "There's nothing special about him, though. He's just a normal human."
Leon-
Leon grabbed Jill as soon as she came back to him and set her on his lap, petting her back. "Something good must have happened." Leon commented to Reggie. "She's very pleased with herself."
"You can tell?" Reggie looked blankly at the bird.
"Yeah. I wonder what it was? Hey, ya know...what are you looking at?" Leon asked when he found that he wasn't the center of Reggie's attention any longer.
"Huh? Oh, nothing."
"You're a terrible liar." Leon scowled and turned to face the direction Reggie had been looking in. He groaned when he saw that councilor, Troi, sitting with a dark skinned woman wearing an absurdly huge hat. They both looked towards Reggie and Leon and Leon couldn't help but think that she was talking about him until he saw something he hadn't noticed before. "Reggie...she looks just like..."
"Please," Reggie suddenly bowed over putting his face on his crossed arms. "Don't say it. Trust me, I've already noticed the same thing. A lot. All the time. Every day." When he looked up, Leon saw the grief still fresh in Reggie's eyes. "If Deirdre had lived and grown up, she'd look just like counselor Troi. They only s-share the same faces. Their personalities are entirely different. Deanna's nice, but she hasn't got Deirdre's spirit."
To be continued...
Dear readers: I'm not quite sure where this story's going. I will continue on the two week update schedule, though.
Thanks so much to everyone who's reviewed, I'm very grateful. Forgive me if I'm doing anything wrong with the star trek universe, it's not really my best suit. Reginald Barclay is my favorite star trek character, for some reason, so he'll probably stay the focus of the story.