Welcome to my new one-shot Holiday Madness. This was supposed to take place after my last one-shot Turkey Day Troubles, but unfortunately deleted that. But don't worry about it, I will have that up soon hopefully….. But right now here's the story!
Disclaimer: We do not own YGO
Holiday Madness
Christmas Eve:
Time: 2:00 pm
It's a snowy winter day as well as Christmas Eve. The YGO cast has a holiday party at their psycho friend, DBZ Warrior1's house. It took much persuasion, blackmail, threats, and bloodshed to get her to have it. (and why wouldn't she want to have it after the Turkey Day incident)
Right now most of the YGO cast is heading towards DBZ house singing a Christmas song…(good lord…)
YGO cast: Dashing through the snow
On a one- horse open sleigh,
Over the fields we go,
Laughing all the way -Bakura: cause pharaoh fell off- HA HA HA
Bells on bob-tail ring,
Making spirits bright -Bakura: well not really-
What fun it is to ride and sing
A sledging song tonight -Marik and Bakura: EW! -
Oh jingle bells, Weevil smells
Rex laid an egg
The Kaiba-mobile lost its wheel
And Pegasus has gone astray- hey!
Oh jingle bells, Weevil smells
Rex laid an egg
The Kaiba-mobile lost its wheel
And Pegasus has gone astray…
(DBZ Warrior1: If anyone else thought that was pathetic or really scary, join the club - -)
Joey goes up to the doorbell and rings it twenty million times. Everyone hears yelling coming from inside the house.
"HIKARI ANSWER THE DAMN DOOR!!!"
"YOU ANSWER IT!! I'M ALL THE WAY UPSTAIRS YOU OLD HAG!!!"
"WHY YOU-"
"AHHHHHH!!!!"
"GET BACK HERE HIKARI!!!"
CRASH
"STAY AWAY!!!"
CRASH BANG
"OW!! ANGELA AIM AT HER NOT AT ME!!!"
"YOU TRAITOR!!!"
CRASH
"DAMN YOU!!!"
KABOOM
And this is the reaction from the YGO cast after hearing those things, "(OO;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; )"
More banging, crashing, and explosions can be heard from inside the house.
"Does anyone smell smoke?" Yugi asks before a flaming toaster crashed through the first floor window.
"AHH!!!" screams the cast as they ducked on the ground. Another sound of a window breaking from the third floor is heard and DBZ Warrior1 comes falling and crashing into a snow pile. She shoots up, starts fuming, and runs back in the house, ignoring the cast.
"YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR THAT YOU 5,000 YEAR-OLD WITCH!!!" DBZ Warrior1 yells at her yami, Anjira but also known as Angela.
One minute later DBZ Warrior1 is thrown out the window again and lands in the same snow pile. "OMPH!"
"…" the YGO cast is speechless.
DBZ Warrior1 stands up and rubs her head, mutters some "colorful" words. "I swear one of these days I'm gonna-" she spots the YGO cast staring at her. "HIIII!!!!" DBZ Warrior1 shouts happily before the YGO cast anime falls.
"Wow its cold. Well what the hell are you guys waiting for? Lets get inside!!!"
DBZ Warrior1 holds the front door open for the cast.
"Hi DBZ. Yami and I brought fruitcake." Yugi says as he hands DBZ Warrior1 the fruitcake.
"Oh great...fruitcake...." She tries to smile but fails.....really bad.
"Hi DBZ!" Ryou says happily then passes DBZ and hands her another fruitcake. "Wow even more fruitcake..." she says.
Tristan, Mai, Duke, Serenity, Ishizu, Malik, Téa, Joey, Mokuba, Kaiba, Yami, and Marik all pass DBZ Warrior1 into the house and all give her fruitcake.
"Ok why does everyone bring fruitcake over here if NO ONE LIKES THE CRAPPY STUFF!!!!!"
In The Dining Room:
DBZ Warrior1 struggles to carry all the "EVIL" fruitcakes to the table. Angela, being known for her evil pyrokineticness ways, she can not resist doing something evil to her hikari. When DBZ wasn't paying attention, Angela trips her, DBZ falls on the floor face flat and the fruitcake is scattered over the floor. Next Angela uses her pyrokinetic powers on DBZ Warrior1 and the fruitcake.
DBZ Warrior1 right now is blacken (as well as laying semi-conscious on the floor) while the fruitcake remains unharmed and that freaks out Angela.
"That's not right!! It was suppose to burn to ashes!! WHY DIDN'T IT BURN?!! DIE YOU EVIL FRUITCAKE!!! BURN IN HELL!!!" Angela uses her pyrokinetic powers on the fruitcake again, and it STILL doesn't burn to ashes.
"THAT'S NOT RIGHT!!! AH!!" Angela shouts and runs away. By then Joey and Yugi walk into the dining room and notice Angela's trauma of not being able to burn the fruitcake.
"Wow. Those fruitcakes must be possessed." Joey says to Yugi.
"Yeah. Hey where is DBZ." Yugi asks.
"I don't know..."
Joey and Yugi hear a muffled cry.
"That sounded like DBZ." Yugi said.
"Hey DBZ! Where are ya?" Joey calls out.
Another muffled cry. "Where?" Joey calls out again.
"YOUR BOTH STANDING ON TOP OF ME!!!"
Yugi and Joey look down and notice that they are standing on DBZ Warrior1's back. "You know I would like you guys to GET OFF ME TODAY AND NOT NEXT YEAR!!!" DBZ yells.
"Sorry!" Yugi and Joey say at once and step off DBZ Warrior1.
"Ow have you guys ever thought about losing weight?"
"- -"
All of the cast comes into the dining room. "Hey where's all the food baka onna!!?" Bakura asks DBZ Warrior1.
"I only agreed to have a party not to feed all of you!"
The cast looks at her and shakes their heads. DBZ Warrior1's friend Bansheessis12 comes into the dining room now. "Hey what's all the commotion?" she asks.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The cast (except Ishizu, Mai, Serenity and Mokuba) screams after remembering how Bansheessis12 locked them in a school for 2 BLOODY WEEKS with a mentally insane, peanut butter crazed psychopath (aka DBZ Warrior1 XP).
"WHAT'S SHE DOING HERE!!" Marik yells and pointing a finger at Bansheessis12.
"Well duh she's here for the party." DBZ Warrior1 says.
"Yeah well she just better not pull any of the stunts she did to us back at the school." Tristan said.
"Who? Me?" Bansheessis12 gives an innocent look (which is really sickening I might add).
Yugi sighs. "Why do I get the feeling that today is going to be another ordinary day?" (when he says ordinary, he means crazy cause spending the day with me, it's never really ordinary. )
In The Kitchen:
"Hey does anyone one know where the turkey is?" Serenity asks the girls who are preparing the dinner.
"I thought Joey was suppose to bring it." Mai says.
"He did say he would." Ishizu said.
"Hey Joey where is the turkey!!" DBZ Warrior1 calls out to Joey who is in the living room.
"Outside!" Joey yells back.
"Outside? Why would he put the turkey outside?" Téa asks to no one in particular. DBZ Warrior1 slaps her forehead realizing why the turkey is outside.
In The Backyard:
"Joey....THAT'S A LIVE TURKEY!!!!" The girls except DBZ Warrior1 yell at Joey.
"Well it isn't dead! I call him Mr. Gobbles 2."
The girls stare at Joey in awe wondering WHY he would buy a live turkey. "Watch this-" DBZ whispers to the girls. "Joey...how do you except us to cook that?"
"Well we can.... Oh god I see what you mean."
"Exactly." The girls said.
"YOU IDIOT!!! YOU DID THE SAME THING AT THANKSGIVING!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS AGAIN!!!" DBZ Warrior1 screams at Joey who is now cowering in fear.
"But...but Mr. Gobbles 2 was so innocent looking that I couldn't let those evil farmmers kill him..."
"Next time, I think one of us should get the turkey and not Joey." Téa said.
"Agreed."
In The Living Room:
"Hey why are Yugi and Téa kissing under the piece of parsley on top of the doorway?" DBZ Warrior1 asks stupidly which causes the people around her to anime fall. "What I say?" she asks.
"That's a mistletoe." Ishizu says while sweat dropping.
"What does a mistletoe do?"
"You can't be serious?" Tristan askes nervously.
"...yes..." DBZ Warrior1 says quietly while the cast anime falls again.
"That has got to be the most stupidest thing I have ever heard." Bakura says.
"No its not, this is- MERRY 4th OF JULY WAFFLES!!!" DBZ Warrior1 says stupidly.
"...Wow she's right. That is the most stupidest thing I've ever heard." Bakura says whiling sweat dropping.
"But she's even more stupid for not knowing what a mistletoe is." Marik says to Bakura.
"Hey leave DBZ alone! It's not her fault she has the mind of two year old!" Yami yells at Bakura and Marik.
"Yeah its not my fault that I- HEY!!" DBZ Warrior1 starts fuming.
"Come over her and I'll tell you what a mistletoe does hon." (::cringes::) Mai whispers to DBZ Warrior1 what a mistletoe is.
"...Why would you want to kiss under a piece of parsley.'
"Christmas tradition." Mai says as she and the other walk away. DBZ Warrior1 goes under the mistletoe and stares up at it curiously. Ryou comes up behind her.
"Hello DBZ. I see we're both under the mistletoe." he says.
"...Alright lets make it quick..." Ryou kisses DBZ Warrior1. (::faints::) She blushes madly then gets a light bulb moment.
"I JUST GOT A GREAT A GREAT IDEA!!!" she shouts happily.
"That's a first!!" Angela shouts from the other room.
"Ryou don't go anywhere and start filming." DBZ Warrior1 gives him a Cam quarter.
"Ok..."
DBZ rags Bansheessis12 under the mistletoe. "What are you doing?" Bansheessis12 asks, some what nervous of what DBZ is going to do.
"Just stand under the mistletoe for a minute." DBZ Warrior1 says.
"WHAT!!! THERE IS NO WAY AM I KISSING YOU!!!" Bansheessis12 screams.
"WHAT!! EW NO NOT ME!!!" DBZ Warrior1 screams back, whiling sweat dropping. "I wanted you to stand there to close your eyes so your holiday hunk can give you a smooch."
"And who is my holiday hunk exactly?"
"Close your eyes and be ready." DBZ Warrior1 says. Bansheessis12 closes her eyes hesitantly and DBZ Warrior1 motions Ryou to be quiet and to keep filming. DBZ Warrior1 leaves for a minute and comes back dragging......WEEVIL!!???!!!
Weevil starts drooling slightly as he gets under the mistletoe with Bansheessis12. Ryou has a sick look on his face while DBZ Warrior1 is trying to suppress laughter. "Ok....You can open your eyes to look at your admirer. (XD)" DBZ says while backing away.
Bansheessis12 opens her eyes." Where is he?" She asks because Weevil is a lot shorter than her. She looks over at DBZ who is pointing down. Bansheessis12 looks down and.....wait for it.......... "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
-Screams bloody murder. She quickly sends Weevil to the Shadow Realm and gives a death glare at DBZ (who is laughing her ass off) and Ryou (whose ear drums hurt).
"Uh DBZ, Bansheessis12 doesn't look happy right now..." Ryou says.
"Well you see Ryou, this is the part of the prank where the prank-e wants to kill and we RUN FOR OUR LIVES!!!" DBZ Warrior1 shouts as she runs away from Bansheessis12.
"Oh ok." Ryou runs away too. Bansheessis12 is running after them with a meat tenderizer.
In The Dining Room:
"Ok who's ready to light the menorah?" DBZ Warrior1 asks happily.
"Why are we lightning the menorah if not one of us celebrates Chanukah?" Joey asks.
"BECAUSE its for our Jewish audience." DBZ Warrior1 whispers to him.
"Oh."
"Where are the candles?" Malik asks.
"We are not using candles we're using oil." Yami says.
DBZ Warrior1 pours a little oil in the menorah and starts to look for the lighter. "Guys I can't find the lighter can you help me look for it?" DBZ Warrior1 asks as she and the others leave the room for a second. Angela comes in and notices the menorah. She grins evilly and pours A LOT of gasoline in it. She quickly runs out of the room and as far away as possible as soon as the cast, DBZ and Bansheessis12 come back in.
"You mean to tell me that you and Angela are both pyromaniacs AND YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A SINGLE LIGHTER IN THIS HOUSE!!" Duke exclaims.
"I forgot that Angela and I used them to burn Bansheessis12 last week. Heh heh..." DBZ says while sweat dropping.
"I got third degree burns for that!" Bansheessis12 mumbles angrily.
The cast looks weirdly at DBZ. "OH DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!!" DBZ yells at them. She gets some matches out and is about to light the menorah....
Outside Of The Dining Room:
Angela is standing outside of the dining room, away from the entrance. A loud explosion goes off and the force knocks her back. She gets back up and looks inside the dining room (which is in ruins). Inside everyone is either blacken or blacken and knocked out by the explosion. (NOTE- The menorah did caused the explosion, but it isn't damaged. All it did was shoot up flames all over the room, destroying the room and burning the people inside.) 'Wow that is one holy object.' Angela thought to herself, noticing that the menorah isn't damaged. Now Angela is rolling in laughter on the floor after seeing the faces of the shocked cast.
By now, DBZ Warrior1 and Bansheessis12 just recovered from the shock of the menorah causing an explosion on them. They hear Angela laughing her ass off and they give her a death glare.
"ANGELA!!!"
(I apologize to anyone who felt offended.)
In The Dining Room:
"Who wants eggnog?" Téa asks people.
"Is there liquor in it?" Malik asks.
"No liquor." Serenity says.
"Awe. This sucks! What good is eggnog without any liquor in it!!" Malik pouts.
"Malik you know what happens when you have liquor." Ishizu says.
"IT WASN'T ME FOR THE LAST FRICKIN TIME!!! IT WAS MARIK!!!"
"Oh sure blame it on me." Marik says.
While nobody is looking, Angela secretly pours liquor in the eggnog.
"Here DBZ have some eggnog." Ryou says whiling handing her a cup of eggnog.
"I've never really had it before but ok." DBZ Warrior1 drinks the eggnog and falls on the floor, sleeping as if she had a hangover.
"I'll have whatever she is having." Bansheessis12 says. DBZ Warrior1 shoots up and is now hyper which is bad, ...really bad. DBZ runs off and crashes into things.
"ANGELA!!!!!!"
A Few Minutes Later:
"Hey DBZ where's the Christmas tree?" Mokuba asks.
"She probably can't afford one..." Kaiba mumbles.
DBZ Warrior1 whacks him over the head with the shovel. "I HEARD THAT YOU CE MORON!!!"
"Alright DBZ! You made my day!" Joey says happily.
"We were SUPPOSED to chop a tree, but fifteen states, 20 countries, and 2 US territories forbids DBZ and Angela from using any sharp objects." Bansheessis12 says casually.
"Heh. Likes that's going to stop me." Angela said.
"What about the other 35 states and 130 countries?" Yami asks to no one in particular.
"Okkk...." Mokuba sweat drops.
Outside In The Woods:
"Its freezing, its cold. Its cold, its freezing. I'm freezing, I'm cold. I'm cold, I'm freezing..." DBZ starts saying over and over and OVER again.
"What is the blasted mortal doing?" Bakura asks Angela.
"I don't know but she says that every time it's cold outside..." Angela answers him.
"Now which tree should we chop down?" Yugi asks.
"How bout that one?" Marik points to an ugly tree.
"Too ugly." DBZ says.
"That one?"
"No."
"That one?"
"No."
"That one?"
"No."
"That one?"
"Why are you just picking out any tree that you see?" DBZ asks.
"Cuz I REALLY want to chop something." Marik says while gripping the ax firmly in his hands. DBZ Warrior1 backs away a little. Angela, Marik, Bakura, and Malik grin evilly at Yugi and DBZ.
"Why do I have a BAD felling about this?" DBZ asks Yugi.
"Because, its them....." Yugi says nervously
Marik hacks a Christmas tree down and the tree slides after DBZ and Yugi. "AHHHH"
In The Living Room:
Everyone is watching the movie Jingle All The Way. Ishizu all of a sudden gets a vision from her millennium necklace. "Uh Duke, Tristan, I would move away from that spot." Ishizu says.
"Why?" Tristan asks stopping his argument with Duke for a moment.
"Just trust me..." Tristan and Duke move away from where they're sitting and a Christmas tree comes crashing through the wall with DBZ Warrior1 and Yugi in it. DBZ Warrior1 stands up but falls back being dizzy. Yugi is out cold then DBZ gets back up and starts fuming.
"Wait till I get my hands on those psychopaths!!!" she screams outside towards the woods. "YA HEAR THAT YOU PSYCHOTIC MORONS!!! YOU BETTER RUN BECAUSE WHEN I COME BACK UP THERE I AM SOOO GOING TO KILL YOU ALL!!!!!!" DBZ Warrior1 gets out a LARGE and PAINFUL looking shovel and runs towards the woods.
Now the rest of the cast (except Joey, Yugi, and those psychotic morons up in the woods) is scared shit by DBZ Warrior1's sudden outburst. "I better go to stop anything she might regret..." Bansheessis12 says and then goes after DBZ.
"I can't believe they're going to let the mailman get away with it after all he's done!" Joey says, still into the movie and not paying attention to that little fiasco. Everyone anime falls.
Few Minutes Later:
The Christmas tree is being set up and Joey is trying to untangle the lights (you can probably guess where this is going to end up....). Unfortunately instead of UNtangling them, he is getting tangled in them.... Mokuba stares in amazement and pity.
"Joey are you sure you do need any help?" Serenity asks.
"I'm fine sis. I almost have it." Joey says, while still struggling.
"Almost being the keyword." DBZ Warrior1 whispers to Malik.
After a few minutes to a hour ::blink blink:: Joey FINALLY manage to untangle the lights. ( Its a miracle! ::angels come down from heaven and holy music plays::) Now he is going to plug the lights in, but doesn't notice that he did the wiring wrong.
"Mutt those wires are incorrect. You're going to get yourself electrocuted, not that I don't mind seeing that." Kaiba says.
"Ha ha. That's very funny moneybags, but I think I know how to do something simple like Christmas lights!" Joey says annoyed.
"I would actually listen to Kaiba on this one Joey. He may be a jerk but he does know electronics."
"Relax Yami. I know what I'm doing without Kaiba's help!" Joey is about to plug in the lights.
"How much to you want to bet Joey is going to get shocked?" DBZ Warrior1 asks Bansheessis12.
"No bets. I KNOW he is going to get shocked..." Bansheessis12 says back to DBZ.
"Yeah..." DBZ and Bansheessis12 step back a few feet. Joey plugs in the wires, there is a blue bright light and Joey gets zapped which causes him to get knocked back. Static electricity runs throughout his body.
"JOEY." Yugi and Serenity call out, really worried.
"Don't worry mortals. I'll help him out." Bakura says. He gets a bucket of water out and pours it all over Joey.
Outside Of The House:
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Cute furry animals fall from the trees.
Back Inside The House:
Everyone (except all of the evil yamis) can't believe Bakura just did that. "I zap am zap going zap to zap kill zap you!! zappppppppp" Joey says in-between getting zapped. He chases Bakura around the house while the rest of the cast is trying to stop him.
"OOoooo You don't know how much getting water poured on you after getting an electric shock hurts." DBZ Warrior1 winces.
"Actually I do. I see you get shocked all the time with the toaster, so I have a rough idea on what it feels like." Bansheessis12 says.
In The Living Room:
The cast is decorating the Christmas tree and they are almost done. Surprisingly things didn't crash, burn, or explode in the last half hour (That's a big shocker.) The door bell rings and Bakura answers it.
At the door are Christmas carolers dressed in pioneer outfits. The carolers start singing The 12 Days Of Christmas. "CODE ANNOYING SINGERS!!! THERE ARE CHRISTMAS CAROLERS AT THE DOOR." Bakura shouts. He slams the door shut, and runs the get the hose. He opens the door again and starts spraying the carolers, who start to scream and run away.
Bakura of course being the psychopath he is, chases after the Christmas carolers all over the front lawn with the hose. Even a few of the carolers freeze from the cold water.
"AH! BAKURA DON'T DO THAT!!! I'M STILL ON PROBATION FOR BURNING THE SANTA CLAUSE FROM THE MALL'S BEARD!!!!! I knew he was a fake.... -THERE ARE CIA AGENTS WATCHING THE PLACE AND THEY ARE GOING TO BLAME THIS ON ME!!! " DBZ Warrior1 yells at Bakura. She goes outside to stop him (while also slipping on the ice)
"Now that looks like fun." Angela says. She too gets a hose and sprays the Christmas carolers. Everyone now comes outside to see whats going on. "Hey I wanna join in on the fun." Marik says. He ALSO gets out a hose, and decides to spray the cast.
"AHHHHHHH!!!"
Sometime Later In The Dining Room:
The cast is now enjoying the rest of the evening after all the chaos that has hapened. Yes viewers, its sad to say but this funny (crappy ) one-shot must come to an end.
"Ok this is later days for now but MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND HAPPY CHANUKAH TONIGHT!!!" DBZ Warrior1 exclaims.
"…Hikari Chanukah ended two weeks ago…" Angela says.
"It did?"
"Yes it did."
"Okkk…"
"…..So what are we going to do for the Valentines Day party?" Joey asks stupidly.
DBZ anime falls then chases after Joey with the shovel.
Happy Holidays from our psycho family to yours…