Postal Pal Hell

Second Story in the Communication Series

Draco Malfoy basked in the glory that was him. He really was beautiful, and he told him self that every day…well, almost every day. He sighed lightly and shifted in his reclining chair. Being devilishly handsome was no fun if there was no one there to ooh and aww over you. That's why Draco hated summer vacation.

Just the Draco heard the flutter of many wings. He looked up to see a flurry of owls carrying small men and blue letters. The owls landed upon him all at once in a great tidal wave, and sent him flying back and out of his seat. He rolled a few times, feet over head before coming to a rest spread-eagle on the cold stone floor of his mansion. He tried to get his bearings as the owls nipped at him. A small elf bowed and began singing.

"I love you, you love me," the entire room erupted into song as more elves began to sing and letters exploded with sound.

"My hands are shaking and my knees are weak, I can't seem to stand on my own two feet." Draco tried to run but the little elves pinned him down and all he could do was moan at the unnatural disaster that was his hair.

"You are my sunshine, my one and only," Draco was un-amused, although very delighted that he could make some one happy with grey skies present. What he did not like was having to lay upon the floor for the fifty some singing telegrams. He grumbled the entire time, and was extremely pissed when none of them gave a name.

The next day, he again received singing telegrams. He drew the line at "Show Me the Meaning" by the Backstreet Boys.

"Who the Hell is sending me these telegrams?" Draco asked intrigued. He knew what he had to do. "This looks like a jobe for super sleuth Draco Malfoy," he said happily, and humming the Mission: Impossible theme song to himself set off on a journey.

Draco decided to start with the Creevy brothers. He knew they had numerous pictures of him. It never occurred to him that he was merely in the pictures as a by-stander, well except for the picture of Hermione punching him third year Ron mounted above the fireplace. (Rest assured, he did not know about that one.)

"Are you my secret admirer?" Draco asked rather politely, or so he thought. Dennis Creevy squeaked and was replaced by Colin. Colin looked at him like he was crazy.

"Dennis is the straight one," Colin said sardonically.

"Oh, then you're my secret admirer!" Draco said, happy he got it on one.

Colin shook his head. "Nope, I'm a one man…man," Colin said, "And me and Seamus are running away to get married in a few years." Draco sighed un unhappily, then left.

Draco's next stop was Goyle's small manor.

"Are you my secret admirer?" Draco asked and when Goyle stared at him stupidly he said, "Do you fancy me?"

Ugh!" Goyle replied, which made Draco frown, why was he an ugh?

"You're not besotted with me, then?" Draco asked.

"No! I'm in love with Crabbe," Goyle said.

"Geez, you people keep popping up like pansies," Draco said bored.

Goyle let out a girlish scream, yelled, "Pansy, where?!" and ducked into his house, leaving Draco alone on the stoop.

Utterly dispirited the next day Draco waited for the owls. The molded to his body and began to bite him in various soft places.

"Hey! No need to get violent, I'll see you all!"

"Stop! In the name of love, before you break my heart!" one telegram said. Again he was assaulted with many songs at once. He was extremely upset when he couldn't listen to the entire Spice Girl song.

The rush of owls left and grabbing his broom Draco followed closely behind.

He followed a small owl to a tall white house where none other than Harry Potter was in the backyard.

"Potter! Are you my secret admirer?" Draco asked. There was a tinkle of laughter from the house as Harry looked at the boy in horror. "What? Malfoy, you didn't by chance hit your head, HARD?"

"I'm your admirer, Malfoy," Ginny said from the door.

"Thank Gods!" Draco cried in delight, "It's a girl."

"Harry, mum says its time for lunch," Ginny said softly, and turned to walk inside.

"Hold on, is that it?" Draco asked sadly, "I don't even get a kiss?" Ginny's head snapped towards him. "Do you want a kiss, Malfoy?"

"Well, I did put up with all those owls…and they bit me in a few places I really don't like teeth…" Draco rattled on.

Ginny leaned down and placed a kiss on the boy's mouth.

"Come away with me Ginny," Draco said softly.

"Where shall we go?" Ginny asked.

"I'd say Neverland, but I hear the guy who owns it is weird…I know, Graceland!" and mounting his broom they flew away to visit The King's home.

"Hey!" Harry called behind them, "Ginny, you're my girlfriend!"

(A/N: remember its all for fun...loves me)