On the train, it looks substantially different than it did when I returned to 12. That's to be expected though, with the tributes now coming to mount this very train, it has to look better than ever. Different kinds of capitol delicacies cover all the available surfaces, some I'm familiar with, some I've seen but never tried and others that I've never seen before. It's the time of the year that a lot of new foods are realised and tried by officials and then sent out on the district trains before the public get hold of them, if they are a massive hit then they get released to the public.

I walk straight through the main seating cart which is where Effie will bring the tributes when they come in. I remember coming in here myself all those years ago, scared to death of where the train was headed, not thinking I'd ever be back on this train and now it's just like home. I walk through the next door and find a corridor to the chambers. The male tributes is first, the females is next, then comes Effie, then Myself and then Haymitch at the end. At the other end of that is avox quarters. The kitchen is on the other side of the train, past the TV room and the dining room. It's not an incredibly big train but it's big and very extravagant to anyone from District 12.

In my room, my belongings have been put away, as they always are. The tributes all get new clothes for their stay in the capitol, obviously none of them would know who is being reaped, so the capitol provide literally everything. They provide me with quite a lot of stuff too, but I normally prefer to use my own clothes, as does Haymitch, we always have the option though, all shampoo, oils, moisturisers, everything else is provided by the staff from the tribute centre. Treat tributes like royalty and then send them to slaughter, that's the Capitols way, it is a Game after all.

I'm in my room when the Tributes board the train, I leave just after, not feeling much up to seeing either of them, I need to figure out what I'm going to do first. I can't let Peeta die but I can't give up on Katniss after I was the reason her father died. 'Just don't blame yourself, promise me that.' Lev's words ring through my head. I push the thought from my head and set off in search of Haymitch, whatever I decide to do, I need His help.

I would like to say that It took me a while to find him, but it really didnt, I found him in a matter of minutes, sitting in the very place that we meet eachother at the beginning of every train ride to the Capitol for the games. Normally to drink our sorrows away, thinking about the 2 kids that we have never known but always seen around the District. This time though, I'm not here to drink, I know these 2 kids. I've known Peeta all his life and Katniss, I've kept an eye on every day since she was 11, since the Explosion that killed her Father also killed mine.

"Nice to see you Princess." Haymitch waves a hand for me to take a seat next to him in my usual seat. "Like my little stunt with Effie?" Regardless of todays events I find myself smiling slightly at the forever drunkenness of my Fellow Victors actions, even though me and him both know he is never really that drunk, especially when the Capitol are watching. Its just easier for them to think your a worthless drunk.

I take my seat next to him and he goes to pour me a drink but I simply place my hand over the glass in front of me, refusing his offer. His eyes find mine and his face hardens momentarily but then softens. "You want me to help you save him don't you?" He might always have alcohol in his system and never fully listens to me but he knows what The Mellarks mean to me after my family died. Haymitch did what he could for me but he was hardly a parent figure. I nod. He turns away from me and places his head in his hands for a second before looking back up at me, turning his full attention to me. "I don't know how he is going to fare in there, Princess. He might not make it past the first day." I'm about to ask what he means but he stops me. "Doesn't look much of a killer."

I can feel the tears stinging at my eyes before my mouth opens. "Then we will help him. I can't come back without him."

His hand rests on top of mine, I don't know when he put it there but I know that he is as much there for me now as he as always been. I can feel his eyes burning into the side of my face as he dismissed the man behind the bar so that we can talk. "What about the girl?" He asks. "I saw you tense when she volunteered and don't say it's because she volunteered. You know her don't you?"

I close my eyes wishing I was anywhere else in any other scenario. "Not so much, no. The day my died, the day the mines blew up because of what I'd done, her father was in there. He was one of the casualties. I owe her more than I could ever tell her." My eyes find his and he smiles slightly. "I kept my distance from her family but I kept an eye on her, everything she went through after her dad died, I would have stepped in if I had too but she didn't seem to need me after a while so I left her alone but now I don't think I've ever had to make a harder decision. How do I pick between them?"

His squeezes my hand. "Maybe you won't have to."

I told myself I wouldn't tell him Peeta's secret but everything in side of me is telling me that he might need to know, so I do it before I can change my mind. "There's something else. I want to get Peeta home but I don't think he is going to feel the same." Haymitch looks at me confused. "I'm the only person he ever told about his feelings towards the Everdeen girl." Haymitch let's out a little huff. "He's not going to choose to go home if it means her death.

He lets go of my hand and remains silent. That's when I decide to take the drink he offered me. He looks at me as he quickly clinks his glass against my own. His way of teelling me that he will help in any way he can, as always, Haymitch is on my side, even though I myself cant figure out what needs to be done. If only it was possible to get 2 tributes home instead of one.

We end up drinking for a few hours in silence. That is until I leave Haymitch at the bar and go back to my room, walking straight past the room that Peeta would be in right now. The train started moving about an hour ago which must have been when they got on the train. I find my room easily enough and slip inside before anyone has a chance to see me. I reak of Alcohol and I look a mess, I can't let them see me like this, they will think I've given up on them which is the complete opposite.

My stuff has already been unpacked and placed away and my bag has been placed under my bed. I never saw the point in unpacking my stuff for the games becase I will be getting off this train tomorrow morning and staying in the tribute centre until we come back. However someone will come and pack it all up for me again tomorrow during breakfast when we arrive in the capitol, then they normally unpack it for me too in the room in the tribute centre.

I walk straight through my room and into the shower, pressing all kinds of buttons before stepping in rid myself of the smell of akcohol, it will be supper soon and I have atleast look like im trying to help. I let the water fall over me and use the liquid soap to wash my body and my hair. As the water flows down my naked body, the body that has been seen and touched by half of the Capitol, I can't help but think about how everything seems to have turned out. There is no way this is a coincidence. President Snow must be angry about something that I have done. He knows how much the Mellarks mean to me and he must know tha I feel esponsible for Mr Everdeens death. Its got to be more than a coincidence. He knew that this would hurt me, I just don't know what I have done.

A small knock on the door brings me back to reality and I pop my head out of the shower to hear a knock on my bathroom door, meaning someone has come into my room. "Hello?" I saw loud enough to hear over the sound of the shower. I've found that the shower is one of the only things that drown out the listening devices that the Capitol has a d is one of the places me and Finnick normally talk quietly. Probably why the capitol think we are together.

Eddie's voice comes back. "Supper is in 5 minutes."

I roll my eyes. I should have knows it was Effie if you don't reply when she knocks on the bedroom door she will come in. There is no escaping her. "Won't be long." I shout back with as much bubbliness as I can muster, which isn't a lot.

I turn the shower off and grab my towel from the heated towel rack, it's nice and warm when I pull it round myself. My feet find the drying mat and within seconds I'm dry, hair and body. Never really any need for the towels in this place. With that thought I place the towel back on the rack, walking into my bedroom naked. If Effie is still there then she won't be for very long, always a bonus.

In 3 minutes I'm ready and walking down to the dining cart next to the bar car and the one I had to walk through to get to the rooms. I don't meet anyone else in the corridor which means everyone must already be in the dining car.

My questions are answered when I walk in to see Katniss and Peeta sitting Infront of their plates on opposite sides of the table. I take my place at the top of the table, between both tributes. Before my backside even touches the seat, they both look at me as If I'm about to spurt words of wisdom to them. "After supper." I say looking between them both, lingering on Peeta's face, it's obvious he's been crying. I feel my heart skip a beat at how much he looks like his brother. I've always known it but this time I know that if I don't get Peeta home, Lev will never look at me again.

Effie appears from the opposite side of the cart, "Where's Haymitch?" she asks brightly.

I'm about to open my mouth to tell her that I last saw him in the bar but its Peeta's voice I hear before mine comes out. "Last time I saw him, he said he was going to take a nap." I turn to him but look away as soon as his eyes hit mine.

"Well, its been an exhausting day." Effie replies, taking a seat at the table next to Katnis who shoots a horrible look in her direction and I can't help but let a small laugh slip out. Effie, however doesn't notice and looks some what relieved, probably at Haymitch's absence. They never have really got on.

Almost instantly the food is served. I take the bottle of alcohol from the young Avox as soon as he appears with it, pouring myself a drink, downing it and then pouring myself another one. I'm already on my third when my first course is placed in front of me, A thick carrot soup. I push it away and work on my glass. I never was a fan of the carrot soup. I watch though as the 2 tributes gobble up everything possible, both of them already looking a little green by the time that the second course comes out. Lamb chops, Green salad and mashed potatoes. I probably eat mine faster than anyone else on the table, cleaning the plate fully.

I leave them just as the next course is brought out, not interested in the goodies that are coming this way. Just as I'm leaving with the bottle in my hand, I hear Effie make some comment about how they have good manners which makes me laugh. No-one I have ever met has ever lived up to that woman's version of manners. The compartment door slides shut behind me and I can't make out any sort of reply. I plop down onto the sofa in the next compartment, knowing that they will be here soon to watch the recaps of the reapings.

Its not long before they appear and I've already polished off half of the bottle, Effie tuts at me as she walks in but sits beside me none the less. She puts the right channel on the telly as Katniss and Peeta take their seats on the long semi circle sofa and I tuck my feet underneath myself, pouring myself another glass.

We all sit in silence as we take in this years tributes. A few stick out, mostly the career tributes, one a tall brute of a boy, Cato I believe he was called. He volunteered without a second thought. His tribute partner, even though she is small and dainty, looks just as scary. District 10 calls forward a crippled boy and a girl from District 11, a 12 year old. She looks terrified as she takes the stage, not a single noise is heard when the escort calls for volnteers. Her district partner however is surprisingly bigger than the brute from District 2 and I feel my heart falter slightly. Most of the tributes are bigger than Katniss and a fair few of them are bigger than Peeta, this is going to be harder than I originally thought.

District 12 comes on and I look away, not wanting to relive the horror. The one moment I do look up, I see Lev in the crowd, a dead look on his face as he watches the reaping, its only slightly but I feel Peeta's eyes on me as I look away, picturing what Lev's face will look like if I go home without his youngest brother. A silent tear falls and I swat it away before anyone notices. When it shows Haymitch falling off the stage, Effie starts to talk about how horrible her wig was after Haymitch knocked it. I find myself smiling slightly at the thought of Effie looking disgruntled like she did earlier today. "Your mentor has a lot to learn about presentation. A lot about televised behaviour." She turns to me, "Both of your mentors." I shoot her a look and she turns away from me.

Peeta starts laughing. "He was drunk." He says. "He's drunk every year." Not a mention of me which I'm glad about.

"Every day." Katniss chimes in and we are all laughing.

Effie however doesn't find it funny. "How odd you find it funny. Your mentor is your lifeline in the games. The one who advises you, lines up your sponsors, and dictates the presentation of any gifts." She says to Peeta and Katniss. Then turns to me. "And you, you should know better. You want to start getting people out of that arena, maybe you and Haymitch should learn to pull yourselves together."

I'm about to say something to her that I would definitely late regret when Haymitch stumbles into the room, "I miss supper?" He asks to no-one inparticular. I can tell he has been to sleep but by the looks of it, he drank a lot of alcohol before hand. Then he turns and vomits all over the plush carpet.

Effie springs to her feet full of anger and storms past Haymitch and flees out the door towards the bedrooms. Haymitch falls, almost knocking her over and passes out in his own vomit. I'm on my feet and infront of him almost instantly. Me and Haymitch have always tried our hardest to take care of eachother, not that we would ever admit to eachother. I grab his arm to pull him up but after all the alcohol I've drank I can't seem to get him to his feet.

Peeta is there in seconds, pulling on his other arm. "Come on, lets get him to his room." He says and me and Peeta try our best to get him to his bedroom. I'm not sure I help much, he mostly has to hold both of us up whilst we get him to his bedroom. We stumble through the door and Peeta pulls Haymitch to the shower, dropping him into the bottom of it. "I can take it from here if you want, you should get some sleep."

I shake my head. "I promised a long time ago to look after him." With that we work in silence to get him mostly undressed, throwing his vomit covered clothes into the shower beside him, hoping that it rids them of it. Peeta hoists him up and switches the shower on.

Its not long before he drops him into bed, throwing the covers over his now naked body. "You go to bed, I'm going to keep an eye on him."

Peeta nods and I drop down into the chair. "Sera?" He says just as he gets to the door, I look towards him for the first time properly since the reaping. "I'm sorry about Lev."

I shake my head almost instantly, too many people listening. "Later. Go get some sleep." He nods and leaves.