WARNING! SPOILERS FOR PART 1 OF CHAINSAW MAN! DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVEN'T READ OR GOTTEN ANYWHERE NEAR CHAPTER 97!

"Hey! Denji!"

Denji glanced over his shoulder to see a guy his age run towards him with his arms flailing about. He was pretty unremarkable all things considered. He wore a pink version of one of those colared shirts called a polo and cream-colored slacks. His hair was a bit poofy and combed to the side. The only thing that really stood out about him were those sideburns.

It was his classmate from school, Ataru Moroboshi.

Denji raised his hand and said, "'Sup."

When Ataru got in front of him he slammed his hands together and bowed down. "Denji! I need a favor! A HUGE favor!" He raised his head and the blond saw pure desperation in the eyes. "I was supposed to be on a date with Shinobu, but I saw this cute redhead on the way who seemed kinda into me! Next thing I know I'm thirty minutes late!"

Denji blinked and rolled his eyes. Ataru was known in school to be just kind of a weird pervert. And when HE was the weird pervert instead of Denji that said something. Infamous for trying to hit on pretty much every girl with a pulse… not that Denji himself was anyone to judge. But still… "Sounds kind of like a you problem, man."

Ataru's face fell. "Come on, man! I just need you to say that we were hangin' out at the arcade…"

"Never been in one." Seemed kinda like a waste of money to him. If he was gonna spend his hard-earned yen on something it would be the movies.

The brunette rolled his eyes. "Ugh, FINE! We were at the karaoke bar or something!"

"Not interested." Denji turned on his heel and began to walk away. "See ya."

"WAIT!" Denji heard the rustle of hands going through pants pockets. "I'll pay ya fifty thousand yen!"

Quick as a whip, the blond Devil Hunter turned on his heel again and took Ataru's money from one hand and put his arm around the guy's neck with the other. "Man, that karaoke sure was somethin' wasn't it! I loved playing Pac-Man and…"

"Is Pac-Man seriously the only game you know?!" Ataru groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. "And a karaoke is where you sing! There aren't video games there!"

"Right! Right! I knew that!" Well, he really didn't but hey he would say anything to earn that money his classmate so generously gave him. "So where is Shinji?"

"Shinobu. She ain't a dude." Ataru let out another sigh. "Man, some friend you are…"

Friend… were they friends? Honestly, Denji had no idea. He hadn't been particularly close to any of his classmates. They just saw him as the weirdo who would do anything for money, and it wasn't like Denji was going to argue against that. He did a service that had the ladies of his school use him as a chair for ten minutes for ten yen.

It sounded sexy in his head when he first thought it up, but it turned out to actually be kind of annoying. An ass barely feels like one when its sitting on his back.

But hey, he got money so he couldn't complain.

Ataru was just someone he hung out with whenever he was bored or between classes. They traded porn or talked about a hot chick they saw on the television or in the movies.

But friends?

Denji saw Aki and Power for a second, then grimaced and put that away.

No need to put himself in a crappy mood again.

Eventually the two of them got to a bridge over a small waterway and standing there was an obviously pissed chick wearing a red skirt and blue long-sleeved shirt. Her hair was brown and cut off at her shoulders. She, unlike most of the women Denji tried to woo, was pretty plain. Kinda cute… but nah. Not his type, and besides Ataru was constantly going after her.

Felt like a dick move to try and impress that girl with how much of a 'fan' of Chainsaw Man he is.

"A-TA-RU…" Shinobu Miyake growled as her hands clenched into fists. "Mind explaining why you stood me up for over half an hour…?!"

"Shinobu!" Ataru laughed and put his arm around Denji's neck. "It's a funny story! You see, I was hangin' out with Denji at the karaoke bar and we were so into the songs that we lost track of time!"

Denji raised his hand and said, "Sup!"

The girl, taken aback by the explanation, seemed to lose some of her anger. "O-Oh? Really? Well I…" Then, a metaphorical lightbulb went off over her head and she narrowed her eyes. "Wait… If you were at the karaoke bar… what was one of the songs you two sung?"

"S-Song?" The brunette laughed nervously. "The song! Right! Well, ya see the song was…"

Okay, this was easy! Denji flipped up a peace sign, stuck out his tongue, and shouted, "CHAINSAW BLOOD! It's my favorite song, y'know!"

Shinobu blinked…. And let out an exasperated sigh. "Why are you guys so obsessed with Chainsaw Man?! He's disgusting!"

"Hey! He ain't disgusting!" Denji lifted his right arm pit and sniffed for confirmation. Nodding he shouted, "Chainsaw Man bathes every day!"

Shinobu glared at him. "So?! He gets guts and stuff all over his body!"

Okay, that's unfair! "You try killing Devils without getting any on ya!"

"He only rescues girls!"

"He's just bein' chiv-chival-chivol…." Shit, what was the word?

Ataru raised his hand. "Chivalrous?"

The blond snapped his fingers. "Yeah! That!"

"Guys, come on!" Ataru got between his girlfriend and Denji, his hands going back and forth as if he were trying to placate a pair of animals. "There's no reason to get this angry!" He looked at Shinobu with a forced grin. "What matters is that I'm here and…"

At that moment, a pretty damn hot looking jogger chick passed by. Her tanned skin glistened with her sweat and even with a sports bra under the top Denji could see her boobs bounce. He grinned and followed the chick as she passed by, and he could tell so did Ataru's.

"Nice…" They both said with a sigh.

"You…" A growl interrupted the second of peace and bliss, and both looked at Shinobu who was shaking with rage. "…I knew it… you were hitting on girls, weren't you?"

"S-Shinobu?! Calm down!" The brunette looked desperately at Denji. "Help!"

"Nope!" Denji jogged past the girl. "You got what ya paid for!"

"TRAITOR!"

"YOU PERVERT!"

As Denji began whistling to himself while Shinobu's fist met Ataru's cheek, a diminutive monk watched the scene with keen eyes.

The monk hummed as he stared at Ataru's body crashed into the ground. "That boy… The unluckiness is rolling off of him in waves!" Then his eyes narrowed when they focused on Denji. "But him… he has the specter of Death hanging over him!"

His stomach growled and the monk's head sank.

"So hungry…"

Denji sighed as he finished spreading the raspberry jam over the toast. "Y'know, I'm only doing this because I ain't that hungry, alright?!" He looked over his shoulder at Nayuta who was busy petting Meowy while the dogs were playing behind her. "I had to fight the Slaughterhouse Devil! It was really hard, y'know!"

It sucked… he was actually starting getting back to eating meat too! Then that damn Devil had to remind him of what happened to the cows and shit!

"But you won. So it's all good." Nayuta responded, her ringed gold eyes boring into him. "And I like toast and jam."

"Yeah, yeah I know." Denji sighed as he walked over to the table and set their plates. Then he began pouring the food for the dogs and Meowy. "But there's other stuff to eat too. And I hear growing girls need to eat more or something."

He whistled and the dogs came trotting over easy to gobble everything. Meowy merely raised her head, gave him a glare, and returned to being pet by Nayuta.

Denji flipped the damn cat off.

"Toast and jam is good though…" Nayuta protested, and while most would say she was emotionless or some shit he could tell from the tone she was just sulking.

The blond sighed and sat down at his end of the table. "Yeah, I know. And it's good for a treat! But there's a lot more food out there, and you should eat it all while you can. Who knows, you may like something else."

The Control Devil's cheeks puffed out. He had to admit, it was pretty damn cute. "No. Sliced bread and jam."

Denji couldn't help it. He laughed at that. Shaking his head he said, "Lets dig in!"

As they ate, Denji's mind wandered. Ever since Nayuta came into his life, his world seemed less empty. Sure he had Makima's dogs and Meowy, but at times it had felt like he was taking care of them out of obligation. Busy work in between killing Devils and… dealing… with Makima.

That and he knew Power would never forgive him if he didn't care for Meowy.

But when Kishibe brought her over and thrust the kid into Denji's life, his world had become a bit brighter. A bit less empty. Warmth had returned to it and he was able to hug someone without feeling like utter shit.

It was… nice.

But something was missing, and he had a pretty damn good idea why.

"Hey, Nayuta." The girl looked up as she bit into her toast. "You got a type of chick you'd like as my girlfriend?"

The black-haired Devil blinked as she put down her meal. She tilted her head and said, "Whoever would make you happy."

He sighed. "Yeah, I thought so…"

It would be so much easier if she had narrowed it down.

As he ate, Denji's mind flashed through the girls who had been in his life. Power, Himeno, Reze… Makima…

All of them had tried to kill him. Some of them had been nice before and after they tried.

He sure as shit didn't want anything like that again.

He wanted a girl who he could be happy with. Someone who liked him for him… he could deal with her being a Chainsaw Man fan. Just so long as they connected on more things than that.

His girlfriend would be happy for Denji just being Denji.

And they would have fun! Go on dates, share food, play games with Nayuta…

…eventually they could fuck. He'd like that, but even an idiot like him knew it was a process to get to there.

And maybe, just maybe, they could do that 'marriage' thing.

Denji sighed and looked up.

"Sometimes I wish a girlfriend would just fall out of the sky…"

Little did the residents of the apartment… nay… the world knew, something was coming.

Across the gulf of space, minds inhabiting bodies akin to man but whose powers would make even Devils pause, stared at the Earth with humorous eyes…

"WOOHOO! Y'all ready for this?! Let's get to invadin'!"

…and drew their plans against humanity.

They had come out of nowhere.

The ships, each one as big as Manhattan by a rough estimate, descended upon each capitol of the world.

No satellites picked up on them.

One minute it was a clear sky and the next these strange spaceships descended from the heavens.

The Soviet Union, eager for a fight, had launched all its ballistic missiles at the ship hovering over Moscow. They were the first to strike at the invaders, not hesitating for a second and attempting peaceful contact. They simply saw a threat and acted accordingly.

A mocking laugh played over every radio station in the country.

"BWAHAHA! Ya guys are that eager to play? Man, these are some old toys! Ah well, time tor y'all to see what us Onis can do!"

In a split second, all the misiles turned into various objects and in some cases animals.

One of them was a bowl of petunias, who somehow sighed and thought "Not again!"

Man learned that day… that they were not alone in the universe.

Riots broke out across the globe. Aged hippies who had grown old and cynical tore off their suits and pounded their old flabby chests shouting, "FINALLY!"

An old man in England simply fell to his knees and muttered, "Jesus…"

In Japan, however, one young man named Denji was unaware of all this.

Hell, most people on the block were.

That's because currently the Tomato Devil was on a rampage.

Bare-chested, Denji ran through the streets as the Tomato Devil's many eyes focused on him. His chainsaws, one on each hand and the one coming out of his face, roared with life as he made his way towards it. "Ya piece of shit! Why can't you stay dead?!"

The Tomato Devil screeched while its spawn rolled over the street and over cars. They were small things barely over two feet in size, as the Tomato Devil hadn't been alive for long. But they were big tomatoes covered in eyes and mouths full of sharp teeth. They munched on the humans, only stopping when their mommy cried. Arms popped out of their bottoms and they leapt up, flinging themselves at their enemy.

But Denji was Chainsaw Man… and he'd been kicking weak ass Demons like this back when he was an eyeless, kidneyless, and one-nut loser with Pochita.

Denji spun in a circle, and all those little tomatoes were cut into tiny pieces. Purple blood spewed out from their bisected bodied, but he could see the see the seeds. So, he went from car to car, dunking his chainsaws into the hoods of each one before leaping up.

One by one, they began to explore and incinerate the damn tomatoes.

The Tomato Devil cried out in fear as it began to stumble back. Its eyes were wide with sheer terror and horror as Denji laughed while descending down on it.

"Yeah, that's right! Finally remembering me, ya fuck?!"

Shooting his arms forward, the Chainsaws tore into the Tomato Devil's flesh. In fact, his entire body was shooting through like a bullet. He could taste the neon purple blood and felt himself make up for the blood he lost transforming. He drank it greedily for the few seconds he had before he came out the other side.

Denji heard it gurgle, but he didn't look back.

Instead he simply walked as the last of the card exploded and enveloped the Tomato Devil behind him.

"Awesome." Denji thought and wished that he could smirk while he was Chainsaw Man.

He waited for them. His, well Chainsaw Man's but they were also his, fans would come out of their hiding spots and start thanking him. He'd see some of the cute girls and hot chicks he helped to save and they would offer their numbers. But he'd be the cool badass he was and slink away, transforming back into totally awesome and cool Chainsaw Man fanboy Denji to talk about how awesome he was. Those chicks would be so worked up that they would give him their numbers after he tells them he knows Chainsaw Man!

It was a totally foolproof plan!

So he waited.

And waited.

He began tapping his foot impatiently as the Tomato Devil's blood began to dry on him.

"Where the fuck is everyone?!" He shouted in anger. Looking from side to side, he could see nobody was coming out of their hiding spots. Sighing, he lifted his arm and sniffed.

Shit, now he smelled like a took a bath in tomato juice mixed with blood.

That shit was hard to wash off.

"GODDAMN IT!" He screamed to the heavens before, in a huff, he walked towards the alleyway he stashed his shirt.

He had intended to just head to the video rental store and get some cool action movie that he thought Nayuta might like. But then he saw the Tomato Devil and just had to enact his master plan. And now he had nothing to show for it, save for some dirty pants, underwear, socks, and sneakers!

Hell, the store wouldn't even let him in if he smelled like shit!

"Nothing's going right today!" His chainsaws revved powered down and he felt everything melt away. Chainsaw Man's head and chains slid off his own head and limbs as if they were melting ice cream and plopped onto the floor.

And that's about the time when he noticed Ataru and Shinobu.

Both were on their butts, staring at him with wide eyes and gaping jaws.

Denji had only one thing to say about the situation. "Huh. When did you guys get here?"

"D-Denji! DUDE!" Ataru pointed at him. "You're Chainsaw Man?!"

He scratched his chin. "Uh… yeah."

It wasn't like he did much to hide it. Wasn't his fault people didn't notice him when he revved up while everyone else was running. Or that he went into an alley to take off his shirt so he wouldn't have to spend money on a new one.

"Yeah? That's all you have to say?!" Shinobu was the first onto her feet. She was flailing her arms around, utterly flabbergasted. "Then why were you pretending to be your own fan?!"

"Cause I'm awesome?"

What? He was!

"Because you're… of all the egotistical…!"

"Shinobu! That's not important right now!" Ataru was now approaching him and Denji saw that the guy had his shirt in hand. The brunette handed him his shirt and grinned. "Denji, you're going to so get laid when the other chicks in school find out!"

The blond scowled. "Hey, I'm gonna tell them but it's gonna be on my own schedule! I got this system planned out!"

Ataru's girlfriend pinched her nose. "A system. Dear god…"

Ataru shook his head. "Focus! I need to focus! Denji, dude, we were coming to get you because of the news! Haven't you heard?"

"Heard what?"

"That you've become a pain in my ass again."

Denji turned around and his eyes widened when he spotted the man behind him. Short greying brown hair, dead eyes and a scar running from the left side of his mouth down to his chin dressed in a black suit. He already had a lit cigarette in the other corner of his mouth and just exuded danger with his mere presence.

"M-Master?!"

Kishibe glanced at him before turning his gaze to Ataru and Shinobu.

"Don't tell anyone."

Shinobu let out a squeak and hid behind Ataru, who raised his own hand and shook it. "O-Oh yeah?! Or what? You'll kill us?!"

"Yes."

That single word made both of the teenagers pale. Denji, however, merely sighed. Seems like his old teacher hadn't changed in the slightest.

"What's this about, Master? Some new Devil?"

Kishibe took out his cigarette and let out a puff of smoke.

"Nope. Aliens."

Denji blinked once. Twice.

"Huh?"

Denji had seen a couple movies that had aliens in them with Nayuta. There was that boring one where the main dude and some scientists communicated with the spaceship using blinking lights and sound, there was the one where spa ships from Mars landed on Earth and wrecked shit before they died from getting sick, and the one where they burst out of chests and the hot babe stripped to her panties before blasting it out of the airlock.

He liked the last one. So did Nayuta.

He didn't expect an alien to look like just a really big dude dressed in a yellow tiger-striped onesie with green hair and two yellow horns on his head.

"Oh! You must be Denji!" The big alien laughed as he stuck out his hand. "Nice to meet ya!"

"Thanks for making this easy for me!" Denji shouted back, reaching for Pochita's cord on his chest. He was hooking his finger around it and ignoring the shouts from the red tiger-striped aliens around him, hearing them raising their weirdo sci-fi guns…

"Stop."

Denji looked over to Nayuta, who was sitting at the table with a small steaming mug of tea in her hands. She stared at him with her yellow eyes and shook her head.

Sighing, Denji took his finger off the cord and relaxed his body. Behind him, he heard the guards sigh in relief as well. "Fine… but only because I feel like it, okay?!"

Nayuta merely nodded and took a sip of her tea.

The big alien laughed in amusement. "Man, I have to say you're one interesting human! You were about to attack me, weren't ya?" he pointed at his face. "Were ya going to sock me in the kisser?"

Denji couldn't help but grin back at him. "Nah. I would've gone for the nuts first. You're a guy after all."

It was his personal philosophy that, when his enemy was a guy, he'd go straight for the nuts.

Aki found that out the hard way when they first met.

He heard two gasps and looked behind him. For some reason, Ataru and Shinobu had decided to get in the car with him and Kishibe. He couldn't help but feel a little self conscious about having two classmates visit his place. Sure he would've liked to have a chick walk into his apartment but not with this many dudes around!

Ataru was covering his crotch while Shinobu had her hand over her mouth. Both of them looked at him as if he were scum.

Denji merely rolled his eyes and looked back at the invader.

The invader blinked before he threw his head back, laughing like a loon. "O-Oh boy! I knew this planet would be fun the minute we landed here! All of ya are so eager to throw down, and why wouldn't you be?! You gotta deal with them Devil things every day!" The laughter dying down, the giant alien put his hands on his hips and nodded. "Although… I thought you'd be more of the chivalrous type, considering what a polite and cute lil' sis you've got here!"

He put his giant hand on Nayuta's head and rubbed it. Denji himself let out a grown of anger and reached for the cord again…

"Hey." Kishibe's voice cut through the mood like a knife. Denji glanced at his old mentor, whose face hadn't changed in the slightest. "Get to the point."

The good cheer the alien invader had died then and there. He looked Kishibe dead in the eyes… and went absolutely white. Slowly, he took his hand off of Nayuta's head and cleared his throat. "R-Right! Well, we're Oni, and we've come to invade! Your planet looks like a fun place to set up a summer home in, so here we are!"

"Kay, cool…" Denji nodded his head. "So what does this gotta do with me?"

"He hears that aliens want to invade… and he just says cool?" Shinobu whispered to Ataru. "What's wrong with him?"

"I think that chainsaw that comes out of his head messed with his brain." Ataru whispered back. "Probably cut it in two."

"I'm being serious here!" Denji shouted, crossing his arms. "This has got nothing to do with me! Unless you're a Devil, I couldn't give a shit what you do!"

"But they're seeking to enslave the human race!" One of the suited government guys that came with Kishibe shouted. "They want to turn us into the hired help!"

"Do we get paid? Do we get time off?" The blond asked the Boss Oni, who merely stared at him.

"…Of course we're gonna pay ya! We ain't heartless!" The Oni looked at Kishibe. "Did you guys think we were gonna turn you into slaves?"

Denji's master simply lit another cigarette and said nothing else.

"Right! Sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me!" Steady paycheck and time off? Honestly why wouldn't he go for that? Sure beat having to be a chair at school!

"Denji! Bro!" Ataru leapt forward and grabbed onto the blond's shoulders. "I don't wanna be forced to work! I'm at the prime of my youth and I wanna enjoy it! Besides!" He leaned in close to Denji's ear and whispered, "Think of all the chicks who'll think you're a badass to stand up against a bunch of aliens!"

His eyes widened at this information. He felt like an idiot. Of course chicks would dig him standing up to the Oni! Not all of them wanted to work, and if Denji defended their lazy lives then they would be forever grateful!

Man, good thing Ataru was a smart guy!

"Okay then! After careful consideration…" Denji got onto his feet and shouted, "I'll take you bastards on! If you wanna take on the Chainsaw Man, then you're in for one hell of a time!"

Once again, the Oni blinked. "Chainsaw Man? The heck are ya talkin' about?"

The blond deflated a bit at that. "Huh? You aren't pickin' a fight with me because I'm Chainsaw Man? I'm famous, ya know!"

"Earth famous." The Oni waved a dismissive hand. "I never heard of ya. We just picked a random human on Earth using our computers."

…Well that kind of blowed. Anyone would've been fine?!

"Fine." he growled. "So I'm gonna be your opponent. When are we startin' this slugfest? Lemme warn ya, I WILL go for the balls first."

"Please, this isn't going to be a fight!" The Oni shook his head. "Those are fun, but we have something else that's just as fun in mind! A game of tag!" He grinned and pointed at his horns. "We're giving you ten days to grab onto both of your opponents horns. Do that before the ten days are up, and we'll leave Earth! Simple as that!"

So it wouldn't involve any killing? This was certainly new.

"Wait, so you aren't going to be fighting me?" Denji raised an eyebrow. "Then who am I…"

There was a flash of lightning and the crack of thunder on the apartment's porch. The glass sliding doors broke, spreading shards everywhere. All the men and woman fell onto their back as an invisible hammer slammed into them. The only Denji fell onto his back, but rolled and skid onto his feet reaching for the cord again. He saw that the only people who hadn't moved were the Oni Boss, Kishibe, and Nayuta who took another sip of her tea.

There were spots in Denji's eyes and his ears were still ringing, but he heard the Oni Boss shout, "Oh, ya came down early!"

The light died down and Denji saw…

…well, a really hot girl.

She was around his age, but with pale and fair skin that didn't have a single blemish on it. She had slightly pointed ears and a strange greenish-blue hair that shined in the light. She was dressed in a tiger-striped bikini and boots, which left very little to Denji's admittedly small imagination.

She opened her eyes and he saw they were the color of amber. She looked at him with curiosity as she asked, "Oh, is this my opponent."

"Wow…" He couldn't help but mutter, and barely registered when he heard Ataru cried out in pain with Shinobu muttering about wandering eyes.

"This is your opponent!" The Oni Boss motioned to the girl. "My daughter, Lum!"

This was their first meeting.

An encounter that would reshape both of their lives and Earth's place in the universe at large.

But the only thing going through Denji's mind was this:

"Holy shit, she's hot!"

The Infamous Man Presents…

The Girlfriend Out Of Space!

Note: Okay, so this was a crossover that wouldn't leave my head after Quantum01 over in Spacebattles presented it. A very simple one: What if Denji had been the unlucky/lucky SOB chosen by the Oni?

Of course there is more to it than that. While Denji is a horndog he isn't as prone to letting his eyes wander as Ataru, who is kept in here so that he and Shinobu can act as Denji's Jimmy Olsen(s). But what does this mean for their relationship?

Well you'll have to see.

This probably won't be a particularly long fanfic, nor is it as serious as my others. But you'll get bits of this here and there.

If anyone is curious as to what I've been doing, well I've been trying my hand at Original Fiction and storytelling over in Spacebattles. The title is tentatively called Saga of Sorrow and it stars a catgirl protagonist in a fantasy world. Want more info than that? Then I recommend you go over and check it out!

Please be sure to leave a review!