CHAPTER ONE
(This story occurs between the Xena episodes of "Callisto" and "Return of Callisto")
Callisto brooded in jail as her stomach growled for food. Strapped and bolted to a chair, she could barely move much less scratch her back. Her head was bolted in a vise that kept her staring out through the small window looking out to the hall. It wasn't uncomfortable as much as it was put together to restrain her. During the day, the sun baked and cooked her back and at night the cold air lowered her body to let her drop off to sleep. She had been supposedly jailed to rethink the error of her ways, but the more she thought the more she realized she wanted revenge - revenge on Xena, her annoying little tag-a-long Gabrielle and on that idiot named Joxer who dared pass himself off as a warrior. Once every several days, the village kids stood outside her cell and taunted her by singing the song.
"He's Joxer the mighty, he wanders through the country side..."
"Get out of here you little maggots!!" Callisto screamed out from her chair realizing they could hear her.
"Shut up, Callisto!" The jailer opened the door and splashed her with mop water. "It's almost lunchtime."
Callisto glared at him with extreme hatred as she spit the rancid muck out of her lips. Every time he fed her, he just happened to "accidentally" grope her chest. It was happening so often that she wanted to grab a knife and cut his hand off up to the shoulder! She rose her eyes up through the door left open to her and watched the regular jailed criminals getting whipped and beat through the bars of their cages. The other fat jailer who barely said anything turned to a visitor who emerged from a shadow. He was a tall figure hidden under a long black cloak. It might have been Hades, but what would the god of the dead be doing here?
"You can't come down here." He replied as a bare hand tinged with gold emerged, gestured and retreated into the cloak. The jailer choked and fell to his feet as a huge pig in human clothes. The prisoners started screaming in fear and surprise.
"Hey!" the first one turned around as the intruder gestured again. He choked and fell to his feet as well into the form of a goat. Callisto's eyes widened as the figure marched straight to her. She had never met a god before, much less one who could turn people into animals like Circe, and she didn't want to now. She freaked and began rattling at the binds that held her. The chains on her feet chimed as she tried to wiggle loose.
"Well," a voice emerged from under the hood. "If it isn't short, blonde and deadly. The people we meet in the strangest places."
"Who are you?"
"Loki," the figure pulled down his hood to reveal a costume of emerald and gold. From his helmet were two horns curved up like a ram's and his green chain mail was decorated with gold armor. "God of fun and frivolity."
"There is no god of fun and frivolity!"
"Maybe not in those barbarians you call Olympians." Loki's voice became charismatically calm and seductive as he braced upon her chair and leaned forward into her eyes. "I've been watching you from a far and I would like to propose a deal with you."
"What sort of deal?"
"How would you..." He whispered seductively in her ear. "Like to become a god ?!"
"What?"
"I myself have had problems with my old playmates." Loki straightened and paced before her. "They've learned my habits, my weaknesses, my... next moves so to speak. We can't seem to get past each other. My proposal is this: become a god and we can trade adversaries. I eliminate Xena, and you handle my hated brother."
Callisto barely thought a minute and then began grinning ear to ear very sadistically. She pictured herself sitting on Olympus with Xena's bloodied head on the wall as a trophy.
"Looks like a deal to me." Loki grinned and stroked her vicious blonde hair in his hands. He leaned forward with a scent of almonds and pressed his lips to her. Callisto felt his mouth on hers and his tongue in her mouth and began screaming as it felt like her insides were exploding from out of her. It felt as if something was exploding from inside her and her body was restructuring itself. Who knew becoming immortal hurt so much?!
CHAPTER TWO
A stone here, a support there, and another dam was built in Greece. Hercules and Iolaus grunted over stone and gasped over supports as they helped the inhabitants of Elis to build another dam to protect the village from the floods that came with every storm. If Hercules had known he was going to be coming back after re-routing the rivers through the stables several years earlier, he probably would have planned it better.
"Thank you for the help, Hercules," King Phyleus stood flanked by his ministers. "I know you and my father weren't exactly friends…"
"I didn't hate him," Hercules stood and wiped his brow. "King Augeas might have been a good king, but I didn't exactly agree with all of his tactics."
"Hercules," Iolaus popped his head up. "Didn't you once say that Augeas was...." Hercules quickly handed him a large stone to distract him.
"All bad memories are lost," King Phyleus continued. "When you are finished and cleaned, I want you to be my guest at dinner."
"Dinner." Iolaus grinned after the weeks of roughing it on the road. "No more roast rabbit by campfire." Hercules forced a grin as he looked back to the young boy king. King Augeas was probably rolling in his tomb at having Hercules back in his domain.
Iolaus, however, was dreaming of fresh mutton and broth and baked bread. He pictured fresh cooked vegetables on royal plates and whole chunks of homemade cheese and made a funny grin as he looked up and noticed a huge Arabian steed charging from the distance. The small blonde on its back was barely controlling it as it came closer and closer. It seemed to be coming straight for them as he recognized the rider.
"Gabrielle!" Iolaus called out as Hercules stopped working. The short bard rolled off exhaustively and nearly fell into Hercules's arms.
"Gabrielle," Hercules put her back on her feet. "What's wrong? Where's Xena?"
"Gone!" She forced out. "We were near Mount Helicon yesterday morning when we were attacked by these... things. I'd never seen them before or the god controlling them. He took Xena away!"
"No idea who it was?"
"None," Gabrielle took a drink from a flask Iolaus handed to her. "We never had a chance. After it was over, I jumped on Argo and began looking for you. I didn't sleep all night. I'm so thirsty." Water splashed over her lips and dripped through her bosom as King Phyleus looked over her lovely figure.
"Sounds like Ares has someone doing his dirty work for him." Iolaus guessed.
"You think." Hercules smirked and rolled his eyes. "We better go talk to him."
"But what about dinner?" Iolaus yelled back, but he realized it was no good. After a brief apology to King Phyleus, it was the road to Sparta for Ares's favorite temple. It was a hot and dirty route that took most of the day and still even hotter as they approached it. The god of war didn't greet them on the veranda and warn them against approaching as he usually did, and there was an odd cold wind rushing out to greet them as they advanced. Gabrielle looked to Iolaus who passed the gaze to Hercules. They squeezed through the narrow opening leading inside as their sweat froze to their bodies. The inside of the temple was frozen solid!
"What happened?" Iolaus asked. "Did he invent refrigeration?"
"I've got a bad feeling about this." Hercules pushed through past columns of ice and frozen pillars. Despite the location, they might as well have been in an iceberg. Ice, snow and frost were everywhere as Gabrielle shivered and Iolaus pulled up a semi-frozen tapestry to cover her. Icy pillars held up the ceiling and blocks of ice gave them a narrow path to pass through. It was like being inside an iceberg. Gabrielle's breath froze into mist as she polished frost off a sheet of ice. She looked head to the main throne room.
"Look!" Gabrielle pointed to a huge chunk of ice. They peered through it and saw Discord frozen in place. Her arms locked in place, her skin as white as snow and her face stuck in a hostile snarl, she must not have had a chance. Whatever had frozen her solid caught her a split second before she could fight back.
"They were fighting something off." Hercules added and pushed on. At the end of their narrow route, they were blocked at a dead end of ice with a huge dark shape trapped in it. Hercules rubbed the frost off and looked into Ares's hostile face. He too was frozen in combat. His arms out, his teeth revealed in a frozen scream and his skin turning white, his eyes turned toward Hercules. Whatever had attacked Xena had taken him and Discord out of the picture first!
"We got to get him out of there!" Hercules called out.
"What?!" Iolaus and Gabrielle cried out together.
"Iolaus," Hercules took charge. "Firewood. Gabrielle, start chipping. I'll try to relight the torches."
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Gabrielle asked.
"No," Hercules started hitting two flints together. "But we don't have a choice!"
CHAPTER THREE
Far north of Greece was the land of Dacia bordered to the east by the Eastern Sea and to the west by parts of Macedonia and Gaul. Beyond the Hyperborean Mountains of Gaul was Scandinavia, which to few Gaul and Greek who ever sailed that far, found it mostly frozen and covered with snow and ice. The Vikings and Teutons ruled the land and called upon different gods as Callisto appeared out of nowhere. Covered in animal fur to protect her from the elements, she was taller, larger and a bit bustier than she remembered, but then Loki remarked that such things happen. The wolves ignored her as the wind sailed around her and the cold dared violate her.
The tiny village was called Friestadt and its people were like nothing before she had seen in Greece. The men wore horns in their helmets and the women braided their long hair. She stopped before the raucous laughter coming from a tavern built from wood and plundered timber where her now godly senses translated the Teutonic tongues from within. Greek taverns looked grander than this den of overblown masculine display of drinkers, braggarts and barbarians. She pressed forward as her new chest reverted these male cretins into idiots.
"By Gimle's beard!" Someone noticed her. "He has sent us a new maiden to entertain us."
"Going to give someone a son." Another drunkard made a lewd comment to her as they all turned to her presence.
"I'm looking for someone named Thor." Callisto ignored the boasts of these men and gods around her as the thunder-god stepped forward. Dropping his flagon of mead, he stood in his black leather capped in silver armor as a wing-tipped helmet capped his long blonde head. A cape of animal hide fell off his huge frame as he grinned to his drinking partners and ran his fingers through his blonde beard and mane. A howl of delight came as Thor looked over Callisto.
"Well," his voice danced with the rhythm of a Northern accent. "Who do have to thank for this delight?"
"Guess!" Callisto flashed an evil grin to meet the Asgardian thunder-god.
A second later the laughter and cajoling stopped as Thor was hit by a burst of flame mixed with lightning. He sailed the twenty feet out of the front door of tavern head over foot and slid another ten feet as he recaught his bearing. Callisto grinned at the amount of power she had been given. Her bosom heaved excitedly with the sensation of being one of these Asgardian Gods. Her excitement was cut short as her now immortal senses heard swords and weapons being drawn as Thor's brothers jumped to his aide. The few mortals present hid under tables.
"Oh, crap!" She realized the punishment she was going to get.
Rising to his feet in the snowy Scandinavian weather, Thor furled his faced upset and ready to fight. His hand pulled out enchanted Mjolnir from his belt as Callisto sailed out the same way he had from the backlash. He gripped his hammer as the unknown goddess came sailing straight to him. He gritted his teeth as she came closer and closer and swung hard as Callisto screamed.
The blow to her stomach sent her flying back as if she were a kid's toy. She scowled as she slid several feet over snow, ice and frozen branches. Parts of her she didn't even know she had was filled with wet melting snow and debris as she fought to stand. A whir of speed caught the side of eye as Hermod raced around her too fast to see. The spiraling wind current he was spinning around her lifted her dizzying mind off her feet as she instinctively reached out, caught his leg and flipped him out of the way. Tyr and Vidar were next. Brandishing swords as Thor rushed to join them, they briefly stopped as she threw more fireballs at them, but they seemed to be batting them out of the way and back at her. Callisto scowled toward their faces and vanished as they stopped and looked round.
"Where is she?!!"
"Where's the evil witch?!"
"Yonder!" Thor tossed his hammer instinctively as Callisto reappeared near the tavern. The hammer caught her again just as she rematerialized and she became knocked through the back of the wood structure along Mjolnir's trajectory. She finally came to a stop against the towering stone statue of Odin carved from a huge boulder.
"Thor, wait," Balder rushed to his older brother. "Talk to her. Find out what she wants!! Don't give into your berserker rage. Ask why she is attacking you."
"Her actions speak for themselves!!!" Thor heard Callisto screaming as wild as a Celtic banshee. He watched her reach for his hammer.
"Now you can know what it's like being hit by a hammer!!" She forced her fingers around the handle and made an effort to pry it up, but the mallet was stuck to the ground as if it was too heavy for even her. She threw a tantrum as Mjolnir refused being held by her. Thor's brother laughed at Callisto and Thor reached his hand out to his sacred hammer. Callisto's eyes widened frustratingly annoyed as the hammer beckoned only to its master and began pulling to him and taking her with it.
"NO!!!!!" Her feet slid in the snow.
"Yes," Thor's bearded face grinned as she came closer and closer. Tyr and Vidar stood with their swords at the ready and Balder and Hermod watched as Thor gripped his hammer in one hand and Callisto neck in the other. He felt a pang of heat burn through his glove and her eyes turn into balls of flame as the sensation became too hot for even him. Callisto grinned and backed away from him.
"I don't need a stupid hammer." She reached down and felt under the statue of Odin by her side. She had heard rumors of Hercules lifting far heavier as she took the statue of their father hostage and impressed even herself at her new power. She grinned and chuckled at the accomplishment as she threatened to drop it on them. "I could really love this."
"I say thee nay!" Thor protested hostilely. "None lays a hand on All-Father Odin!!" Vidar whistled with a grin. Thor looked over and understood his gestures and grinned at the idea.
"What are you doing?" Callisto balanced the twelve-foot high granite on her shoulders as they spread out around her. Hermod attempted to advance as she stepped back. Tyr started to charge as she moved another way. Callisto carried the huge weight a few feet this way and another way as they guided her as some puppet under their control.
"What are you doing?!!!" She screamed out as she heard a crack. The snow under her feet was no longer crunching as she realized she was on top of a sheet of solid ice. Another crack shot out under her feet as she realized she was on a frozen lake.
"Tell Hela that Tyr says hello." The brown-haired war-god remarked just as Callisto found her feet and body crashing through the surface of the frozen lake. One brief scream was all she had as the sons of Odin gripped their father's image and pulled it to the edge than dishonor it further by letting it sink under water. The twelve-foot idol and rune shrugged off some of the snow off it as it found it's new location. Hermod looked through the break in the ice.
"Kind of a looker, huh?"
"You'd date trolls if we didn't stop you." Vidar dropped his arm around his young brother's back as they returned to their drinking. A brief laugh and a pat on the shoulder was all they had as the ice on the lake broke again. The sons of Odin turned round as the water rushed out of the hole and the ice across the lake broke apart. It fumed with the vapors of steam and sudden geysers as something forced a lot of water out of the lake. Thor, Tyr, Vidar, Hermod and Balder looked up at the ice shattered across something very big coming out of the water. It might have been the sea-giant Aegir by the blonde hair, but the large brown eyes and shapely female body proved that Callisto had just discovered a new power. Shaking the water out of hair felt like a hot rain as her head towered twenty feet above the lake. She squeezed the water and ice out of her costume into a waterfall and continued standing until she reached twenty feet.
"You've gone and really ticked me off!!!" Her voice bellowed out loud as Tyr raised a horn from his belt and blew a call to arms to more Asgardians. Instead of being afraid, Thor and his brethren cheered at her awesome visage. It was then that Callisto realized something. They had a reputation for killing giants!
CHAPTER FOUR
Ares and Discord were both shivering and sneezing after being thawed out, but Hercules, Iolaus and Gabrielle were fanning themselves as the melted ice turned Ares's temple to a steam bath. Discord was trying her best to conjure flame to burn out the ice still in the ichor of her veins and Ares was still shaking snow out of his boots.
"Cold, so cold." Discord hovered over the flame in the pit and pulled back her hair. "What the?!! I still have icicles in my hair!!!"
"Would you shut up?" Ares leered angrily to her and pulled his blanket tighter. "And stop hogging the fire!!!"
"Ares…" Hercules reminded him he was still nearby.
"Well, " Ares cracked the ice out of his goatee. "I don't know who he was, but he was mean… and nasty… and psychotic. You know we could have been friends, but nooooooooo......... He and those things with him ambushed us and turned us into ice cubes!!!!"
"Things?" Gabrielle sweated from the steam and leaned on her staff. "Sort of... troll-like?"
"Yeah," Ares smirked. "If I ever get near this guy again, I'm going to grab him by the inside of the throat and spin him around until he's inside out!!! No one freezes me, and gets away with it!!!!!!!!!"
"My powers..." Discord whined. "Still frozen."
"Trolls." Iolaus mumbled. "Definitely the same guy who took Xena."
"Xena's gone?" Discord looked up. "One down, three to go." She looked at Hercules, Iolaus and Gabrielle.
"Business before pleasure!" Ares kicked Discord into the fire pit. She screamed for a brief second and fell forward into the flames. An ordinary mortal would have burnt to a crisp, but as the flames licked and caressed her frozen body, she began humming in satisfaction as the fire reached and warmed her in places she couldn't get.
"Well," Hercules stood up straight. "Whoever went after Xena obviously knew to take you out first."
"But who would that be?" Gabrielle asked.
"And why do I get the feeling we're going to find out?" Iolaus remarked with nervous tension.
CHAPTER FIVE
The Tuatha da Danaan worshipped by the Celts and Gauls obviously looked elsewhere as the meeting between two godheads occurred in their neutral territory. At the top of the Hyperborean Mountains beyond the Adriatic Sea, Zeus's eagle heralded his approach as two ravens preceded Odin. The birds stared uniquely wary at each other as the two powerful immortals stood in the ruins of the old Fomorian sanctum and acknowledged each other. Odin was preoccupied as he glanced the old Titan-killer over and exhaled deeply with an agitated vigor.
"Odin, distant brother," Zeus stood proud in his presence. "You requested my appearance; what preoccupies your troubled mind?"
"The attack on my sons." Odin replied. "We have been at peace since we destroyed the last of the Elder Gods. Why would you dare ruin millennia of peace and kinship by inviting war through that demoness?"
"I am not aware of any aggression." Zeus stood with Odin near the top of the world. "If any of the Olympians dared test our friendship, name them and I will turn them over to you to do with as you see fit!"
"How can you trust him?" Loki's voice whispered in Odin's ear from a far. "He has little to gain and you have much to lose."
"The goddess of hate herself." Odin listened briefly and responded quickly.
"But the Greeks have no goddess of hate." Zeus appeared alarmed. "Can you be sure the creature that attacked your sons came from Olympus?"
"Ah," Loki whispered again in the mind of his adopted father. "See now as he prepares to shift the blame. Truly the act of a guilty god…"
"The demoness attacked my sons and nearly killed Hermod in the name of Hades." Odin's temper rose as his role as a god of war overcame his will as a god of wisdom. "She even tried to kill Balder but for the enchantments on his life!!!"
"Loki!!" The self-titled god of fun and frivolity was distracted from eavesdropping on the clandestine meeting as Callisto appeared in his presence. She was becoming quite adept at her newly acquired godhood, but her Asgardian magicks were obviously very evident as her clothing became more Scandinavian and her voice possessed by a weird Germanic accent she was trying to keep from happening.
"You set me up!" She screamed. "They tossed me around like a child's toy!! Do you know what it's like getting hit by a hammer not once, not twice, but a hundred and seventy-three times!!!"
"When you get hit by a hammer two thousand, six hundred and thirty-seven times, then we'll talk. "
"Did you even handle Xena?"
Loki quietly glanced over to an alcove in the hall. Frozen inside a huge chunk of ice was the warrior princess in mid-pose. Chakram in hand, a scream frozen on her lips, she was now a icy decoration in the hall of the trickster-god. Callisto beamed ear-to-ear and put her hands to the ice. It was her hated nemesis right where she wanted her - frozen, lifeless and removed from the mortal world.
"The question is...." Loki replied. "Did you handle Thor?"
"I need more power." Callisto grinned as she turned back to him. "A lot of power.........and a hammer of my own!"
"Been there, tried that." Loki was eager to eavesdrop on Odin and Zeus again. "All you really need... is your own natural talent and imagination. Do what you're known for." He swung his hand and sent her elsewhere as he once more cast his mind back to the mountains of Hyperborea. One side of the mountain had collapsed and it was thundering as hard as it was when Cronus had fled Olympus. A thunderbolt cracked in Zeus's hand as Odin controlled the wind.
"If it's war you want former ally, than it's war you'll receive!!" The old Titan-killer roared with frustration as Loki laughed from the safety of Asgard.
CHAPTER SIX
There was a certain difference in the air as Greeks noble and dishonest, rich and humble looked north and noticed the dark clouds rolling in from the North. Tall and majestic Mount Olympus was hidden from sight for what seemed like the first time as priests hurried their patrons into temples and feared the unknown wave rushing over the land. The palpable sensation of tangible inexplicable dread struck even thieves and sinners alike as if the gods had declared war on earth.
At the gates of Olympus, two-faced Janus, once immobile and unyielding suddenly caught the presence of invisible enemies, gripped his caduceus and stood at end ready to fight. Centaurs charged from the woods of Thrace east to Thessaly and mermaids left the ruins of sunken Atlantis to hide in underwater caves. Poseidon kissed his wife Amphitrite as he gripped his trident, called his son Triton home from the shore of Libya and left to fight against foreign intruders. Aphrodite appeared in her temple at Corinth and noticed all her golden-haired statues all had manes of flaming red hair.
"What in Hades is this?!!" She narrowed her eyes and peered with hostile intent at the vandalism. As she spun, she saw another figure reclined back on her altar drinking her wine and eating her donations.
"You must be the so-called goddess I heard so much about." Sjofn giggled with a toss of her titian red hair and azure blue eyes. "You look more like a goddess of farm animals."
"You are like so totally worm food." Aphrodite hissed like a cat and hurled herself at her. Sjofn reared her fingernails and clawed at Olympian flesh as Aphrodite got a handful of Asgardian red hair.
Near the borders of Arcadia, Artemis lead her sacred deer to safety as Sif shot arrows not at the deer but at herself. The arrows striking in mid-air were sparking as small suns as they ignited flames throughout the area. When their mastery of arrows proved equal, it became a contest of Olympian brawn and cunning against Asgardian steel.
"I will not fight you." Balder stood near the garden of Demeter as Apollo met him in battle.
"Why can't I hurt you?!" Apollo clenched his sword in his hand and tried to force the Asgardian to his feet. The finest of Valhalla was swarming his home as the prince of Olympus faced his German counterpart.
"My mother took promises from all things to never hurt me." Balder revealed as Apollo's clairvoyance realized the truth. "You cannot kill me and I won't attack you."
"Then by Eternity," Apollo reared his sword. "I will dispatch you to your underworld!!"
"Get out of here!!" Ares fired lightning bolt and fireball against Tyr and Vidar. The two noble warriors had never fought anyone as bloodthirsty as he was. Ares might not have been much of a fighter, but he knew how to use his wits. The only problem was the Valkyries. Interested in Tyr and Vidar souls should they die in battle, they also played favorites against Ares. The war-god prayed for a portion of Athena's knowledge in military stragedy.
"Discord, get your butt in gear!!" Ares knocked two more of the goddesses from their winged horses as he turned tail and ran into his temple. Slamming the door behind him, he wondered if he wanted to fight by his father and mother at Olympus, or with Apollo and Athena at the gates of Asgard. Mulling over his choices and other options, he turned and caught sight of Discord.She was not in her usual attire but in the Asgardian breast armor and chain mail of the Valkyries.
"What the..." Ares looked worried a second. "Oh, that's a great idea! Infiltrate Asgard and wipe them out from inside!!! Now, that's thinking!!!"
"Not really, big brother." Discord forced her evil little grin. "I'm no longer your little foil. I switched sides into the Valkyries for turning you over."
"Why you miserable, dirty, disgusting, manipulative little witch...." He then caught sight of the six Valkyries appearing behind Discord. His eyes widened at the image of them. "Oh, crap!!!!!!!!!"
Hercules, Iolaus and Gabrielle were back at Elis as the storms rolled in from Poseidon and Oceanus creating storms against Njord and Aegir. Nereus reared up out of another tidal wave to meet the Asgardian sea-gods. Njord proved why he was also a storm god and Aegir met Poseidon's trident with his sword. Mountainous tidal waves mixed with the hurricane churned up and over the cliffs. The new dam had burst hours ago as lightning and thunder pushed mortals into their homes or scrambling for the safety of their neighbors. Waves were washing the cliffs away under the royal palace as Gabrielle tended to the homeless in the catacombs and Hercules and Iolaus searched the city of more victims of the storms. It wasn't sure anymore which water were rain or mile-high tidal waves. One powerful surge nearly washed Iolaus away as Hercules gripped his
foot and wrapped his own legs around a market post being loosened out of the muddy earth. Iolaus wiped his eyes of rain as he looked again. One lightning strike had left behind one huge warrior of long blonde hair, a furry cape and one good sized, short handled hammer.
"Hercules!!!" Iolaus saw him first.
"What?!!!" Hercules yelled over the storm and wind as the obvious thunder-god reared back on his hammer ready to cast them both to the wind. Hercules held fast to his loosening foothold and to Iolaus as they winced at their easy predicament.
"So, you are my counterpart…" Thor's voice realized as thunder poured round him. "Goodbye, son of Zeus." He prepared to shatter Hercules' legs as a stray bolt of lightning strayed and hit the thunder-god. Thor's winged helmet took flight in the wind as a strange hand grabbed Hercules' foot. The market flew off around them from the storm as the unknown god pushed them toward the palace, through the gates and inside the main hall. Unearthly wind whistled through the top battlements as the three caught their breath.
"Thanks for the help." Hercules gasped, picked up a flask and drank from it.
"Don't mention it." The blonde goddess spoke. "And when I say don't mention it, I really mean it!" They turned to Gabrielle rushing through with more supplies. She stopped, dropped the tray of food and stared dumbfound at the visitor.
"Callisto?!" She recognized the visitor.
"Xena's Callisto?!!"
"I didn't know she was a goddess." Iolaus gasped after his drink.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Yggdrasil, the Mountain of Ash Trees, stood at the center of Scandinavia. Not quite as high as Olympus, it was the site of the most unusual storms and lights as Viking, Teuton and even Gaul looked toward its top and realized the gods were at war. Heimdall met Athena and Apollo at battle on the rainbow bridge known as Bifrost as Hermod and Hermes raced circles around each other attempting to outrace him. Apollo's weapons were useless against the enchantments on Balder, but then his enchanted crows learned his weakness.
"Use mistletoe." Apollo took the Northern wood and fashioned a spear from it. He threw it far and steady only to watch the snow-god Hoder shatter it in mid-flight. He would not let that mistake happen again.
Athena met Bragi in combat near the gates of Asgard. The Asgardian god of wisdom towered a few inches over her armor as she reared her sword and reared her breastplate. The image of Medusa burned into it met his eyes as he countered with the thick hides from long-killed dragons and their bones made over as his weapons. If the situation was difference, he could see himself taking her as his bride.
From the underworld, Hades called upon the undead shades of Perseus and Theseus, of Cadmus and Bellerophon and the even more ancient forms of Cecrops and Epaphus. Ghosts of kings, generals, and warriors and all fought against the demonic brood of Hela. Under other circumstances, she might have sought him as a consort, but Hecate had other plans as her spells pushed her demons back to her frozen underworld.
Zeus controlled all aspects of the battle from Olympus as Hera watched from a distance. Below her, Consus and Vertumnus had imprisoned Nertha in impervious vines and branches, but then her nephew Frey came with sword swinging. Bia and Kratos held their own against dwarves and trolls and the arrows of Helios rained down over Viking berserkers. Lightning cracked around their battlements as Pan's eyes darted at the confrontation occurring on Earth and in heaven.
"We have trolls at the forge at Lemnos," His weird little voice gave a play-by-play scenario. "Centaurs pursuing dwarves through Thrace, faeries in the Elysian Fields, and best of all - Ares getting his butt kicked by Valkyries. Ooooooo, that's got to hurt, I don't care how immortal you are!!"
"Time to call a truce?" Hera stood by her husband. "We can't keep this up. There are more of them than us."
"Are you mad?!!" Zeus scowled toward her. "This is their battle. They should be the ones to lay down their arms!!"
"Incoming visitor." Pan watched a streak of sunlight as Iris rode in on her rainbow as if it was one of Apollo's flying boards of light. Her blonde hair came to a rest on her shoulders as she brought news.
"The Muses were captured, but the Furies and Harpies are running a rescue mission." She reported. "The Fates… well, they are bound by their roles as the Norns to stay neutral. The Sirens have the daughters of Aegir held at bay, and Demeter has made contact with Isis. The gods of Egypt and the Loa will rally with us, but Anu will not send any Mesopotamian gods unless you surrender the worship rights to the lands he wants."
"I knew Anu would be a hard case." Hera commented. "And you can be sure Odin already has the Finnish and Baltic gods on his side."
"But I may beat him to the Hindu Gods and Anasazi." Zeus watched the battles on his relief map of Europe. "Tell Anu he can have whatever he wants and more if he comes now!!!"
In Elis, Callisto opened the tall wood doors of the palace open wide to the storm and wind. She regretted it a second later as an all too familiar enchanted uru hammer struck her in the head. She sailed backward from the blow as Thor charged inside, kicked Hercules aside and then reached for his returning hammer. Iolaus wasn't stupid. He stood out of the way and protected Gabrielle as Hercules grabbed the hammer and actually held it! Thor stood dumb-founded at the sight.
"I think there's something you ought to hear." Hercules replied and offered the hammer back.
"It was Loki!" Callisto screamed trying to rid herself of the ringing in her head. "He did this to me!" She gestured over her new exaggerated figure. "I was a regular mortal until he sent me after you !!"
"How can I believe you?!!!" Thor waved his hammer.
"Is it something Loki would do?" Iolaus asked. Thor looked upon the blonde mortal who stood beside him and narrowed his eyes as he tried to think. He had never held such a mental challenge. He still wanted to lead Asgard to victory over the Olympians for his father, but he could not let his foster brother go unpunished.
"We need to end this battle." Hercules replied. "It's one big mistake. It should never have happened."
"It won't be easy." Thor looked back with blue eyes of steel. "Many of my brothers and kinsman have been provoked into the berserker rage. Battle and victory is the best gift for any Asgardian warrior. Only the victory of the kill is the only way out."
"Why isn't anything easy?" Hercules mumbled under breath.
CHAPTER EIGHT
Tyr, god of war, and Vidar, god of the hunt, lifted Ares up tied to a huge log as if he was a large pig ready to be roasted. His immortal mind was still swimming as his addled brain tried to hold a thought. His left eye rolled toward Discord as she leaned down to gloat. She grinned her nasty smile as he noticed his reflection in her shining silver breastplates.
"Whose pitiful now, big brother?" She lorded the victory over him. The Valkyries had thrown him around as if he was a pigeon in a storm. He even smelled like burnt feathers. The winged horses suddenly neighed and took flight with other fliers in control of them. Discord, Tyr, Vidar and the Valkyries looked up as Amazons stole the winged horses and several hundred more stormed from the high bushes firing arrows. By the side of Hippolyta, their matron goddess, Gabrielle vaulted on the edge of her pole and knocked Discord to the ground. Tyr and Vidar watched the attack between mortal women and immortal goddess with a mixture of surprise and confusion.
"Women?" Tyr forced a grin. "Fighting as men?!!"
"An easy defeat," Vidar unsheathed his sword. "Or an amusing obstacle." They left Ares tied to the log on the ground as Hercules and Iolaus reached through and pulled the delirious war-god to safety. The Amazons had the battle going to distract the others as they rescued Ares once more.
"Easy defeat?" Iolaus mumbled. "Those Amazons fight dirty."
"Don't remind me." Hercules untied Ares.
In Corinth, Cupid appeared in his mother's temple still fresh from the fight inside the walls of Asgard. On his way to retrieve another larger bow, he stopped to peruse the shredded furnishings and curtains, the broken pillars and bronze vases blasted by lightning. His mother was still locked in a hair-pulling, fingernail-scratching, robe-tearing screeching and screaming fight with the red-haired love-goddess of the Norse. Sitting on the side and enjoying the spectacle was the strawberry-blonde Idunn munching on fruit as her sister clashed with the Olympian. She noticed Cupid and tapped for him to sit next to him.
"They've been going at it for hours." The immortality-goddess replied. "How can they keep this up?" She glanced over Cupid's brawn as he sat down by her. "Married?"
"Very!" Cupid replied strongly and proudly of his wife Psyche.
"Crap!"
Thor appeared on the steps to Valhalla, his father's palace in Asgard. The Olympians were inside the gates and still getting closer as Apollo fired flaming arrows and Athena still fought on unabated after the hours of combat unstop. Bragi was being overwhelmed by the twin-Titans Prometheus and Eprimetheus and barely holding his own. Thor had always promised to come to the aide of any brother in need, but there was another way to help him if he could stop the fighting altogether. He waved his hammer over his head and struck the ground of Asgard hard. The resonance of the hammer to his homeland sounded as thunder as usual, but with it came a freezing rain filled with hail and snow to remove the fight from them. Far colder for any immortal or mortal could stand. Apollo's arrows went out as the miserable weather broke the tide of battle and simmered the hostilities.
"I say thee, nay!!" Thor called out to his family, brethren and would-be foes. "This battle is not ours. I demand an end to this hostility!!!"
"Remember our brothers attacked by one of their own!" Hermod suddenly appeared on the top steps. "Spurred on by their goddess of hate!"
"You mean the goddess of hatred enflamed on by our brother Loki?!!!" Thor announced.
Far to the west in the floating realm of Avalon, the wise druid-god known as The Dagda sat in the middle of a long table. At one end Zeus sat back in his chair stroking his beard as Ammon-Ra of the Ennead and Anu of the Anunnaki flanked his sides as advisors. On the other end, the Baltic sun god Svarog and bald Ukko of the Kalevalan Gods dispensed the same advice to brooding Odin. A raven sat Odin's shoulder as he scribbled on a piece of parchment with a quill pen and handed the paper to Morrigan. The war-goddess hesitantly took the proposal and handed it to her husband as countless Celtic and Gallic gods and scattered leprechauns watched as guests to the attempt for a renewed truce between the gods of Earth. Morrigan always thought war was best for mortals anyway.
"Brother sky-god," Dagda turned his balding head to Zeus. "Can you match Odin's waver for peace?"
"He stands by his first and only proposal." The Mesopotamian god Anu spoke for the stern-faced Titan-killer.
"As long as he turns over the immortal responsible," Ammon-Ra spoke with his regal African accent. "He will not surrender any lands."
"Father," Brigid appeared in a burst of silver light. Clad in dark Celtic armor decorated in black feathers, she approached the table. "I have news of a fact that affects the truce you have begun. The so-called goddess who attacked the Odinsons was a mortal Greek...." She looked to Zeus to make her point as she turned to Odin "......made immortal by Loki, the god of mischief."
CHAPTER NINE
On the mountain known as Dragonfang rising above Asgard's Gopul River was the castle of Loki. Seemingly covered in an eternal night at all times, it had been built on the lives of trolls and given to giants before trickster-god had moved into it. He stood above his map of the Western Continent and traced the results of the war and then hovered his hand over the isles of Britain and Eire. Odin and Zeus had both disappeared for the realm of the Tuatha da Danaan for a way to resolve the battles peacefully. If only Bres hadn't been exiled with the Fomor, he might have a worthy spy to tell him what was happening.
He looked up and saw a wolf stride into his main hall. Not quite a wolf, it was lean and grey as it paused by Xena's icy tomb, peered up to her frozen form and then continued to Loki and took its true form.
"Loki...." the Anasazi god of mischief appeared. "Neither Odin or Zeus has called upon my brother for assistance. What happened to this war of yours?"
"I'm not sure, Coyote." Loki peered nervously to Eire. "I think an early truce may be under way. We need someone in there to keep it from happening."
A burst of light preceded Callisto as she returned.
"I figured it out, Loki!" She screamed. "You set me up to take the fall so I would start the war without you dirtying your hands!! I would have been hounded for the rest of my immortal existence with all the gods of Earth chasing me down!!"
"Well, what do you know?" Loki turned to Coyote. "She does have a brain in that little blonde head."
"Oh yeah," Callisto grinned. "Well if I turn you over...." She waved her hands as nothing happened. She did it again as the two gods of mischief laughed at her.
"Didn't I tell you?" Loki replied as they advanced on her. "I put a little back-up spell on your godhood. You can't turn your powers against me."
Callisto felt a little mortal again as she tried to project herself out. She winced a bit as the two of them started slowly backing her into another alcove as the one holding Xena. She was going to be frozen solid herself if she didn't think. Loki was going to be the hero for capturing her if she didn't get her powers to work on him.
"I'm really going to hate myself!" She put her hands together and tossed the largest fireball she could muster. Loki and Coyote parted as it passed between them.
"Lousy shot!" Coyote's Native American voice remarked.
"I wasn't aiming for you!!"
Loki and Coyote turned round as a chakram ricocheted off the wall and took out the Anasazi god. With it, Xena took a flying jump and kicked Loki in the face once, twice, three, five times. Now knowing what he was capable of, she was not letting him get a moment to think! She unsheathed her sword and severed Coyote's bow and then spun and hit Loki in the stomach. Unable to watch, Callisto turned round to depart with her godhood intact.
"Not a chance," Discord appeared in her path with Brynhild, Gudrun, Hildegard and Gerda of the Valkyries. "You're not getting out of this." They screamed their battle cries and entered into the fray. Callisto cast off fireballs with lightning attached as Discord and her allies surrounded the former mortal and pummeled her. Squealing with delight, the tiny goddess of vengeance waited until Callisto was restrained by her new friends and then clutched her chest.
"Ever feel your soul ripped from your heart." She contorted her face into a hateful sneer.
"Tell me if this hurts." She began pulling Callisto's tainted soul out of her body as if it were a long string of cotton. The blonde hate-goddess screamed from the pain as Discord relished her new power to claim souls. Relishing her new Asgardian status, Discord began tearing Callisto's life force out of her. Someone tapped her shoulder as she tortured Callisto.
"Ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight. " Ares stood with his new partners Tyr, Vidar and Nergal, the bald Sumerian god of war. The four of them charged against the Valkyries weapons blazing, but then Ares recognized Loki pitching lightning at Xena.
"A promise is a promise." He ran to Xena's protection, somersaulted off the throne and hit the miscreant in the back.
"That's for freezing my sister." He slapped Loki's face. "This for freezing me!!!" He grabbed his neck and flung him around twice and let go. Loki collided off the wall and landed near Callisto reeling from pain. Gasping for breath as her soul returned to her, she watched as the Valkyries fled to fight the intruders to Asgard. Loki gasped and noticed her quickly gaining her bearings as Ares stormed after the two of them. Loki stared into Callisto's regal brown eyes in the midst of the free for all.
"Word of advice," He pulled out a bottle and shattered it. "Always have a back-up contingency." The lights out of the bottle froze everything in time. Xena slowed in the air and remained aloft in the air as everyone froze in time as immobile statues. Coyote's head had become the head of his namesake beast frozen in transformation. With time stopped briefly, it then reversed; Callisto was fighting the Valkyries again, freeing Xena, plotting with Hercules and Thor, fighting the Odinsons in Scandinavia once more and back in prison. Her heart stopped as she was strapped and bolted in the chair once more. Her mortal body was back and with it she was no longer a god.
"No!!!!" She screamed. "Not again!!!" She tried to conjure her flames and use her godly strengths to burst free, but they were gone. Loki was in the hood and cloak again with his hand on her leg.
"You never became a god after all." He replied. "It was a fair rehearsal, but next time we'll get it right. Only next time you won't be playing. Enjoy having the last few days back." He turned out and restored the jailers back to human.
"Loki!!!!" Callisto screamed. "Don't leave me here!!!" She rattled her restraints. "I will get even with you for this!!! I'll be a god again!!! And I will come after you!!!!!!!!!!!!" She yelled as the Asgardian trickster coldly marched out of the jail.
"Shut up, Callisto." The jailer dumped more mop water on her. "If you're good, maybe you'll be fed at lunchtime. You'd like that, wouldn't you?" He reached and groped her chest unafraid of her threats.
"When I'm a god again, you'll wish you hadn't done that!" Callisto hissed.
END