Just a late night ficlet that demanded to be written before I could sleep.
When Tears Aren't Enough
The velvet night sky was speckled with diamond-like stars. Their twinkling casting a dim light over the somber night, the full moon basking the world in cerulean. A gentle, constant wind stirred the hair of one late night visitor to below necropolis. Soft, silken tears fell to the ironic and wayward ivory orchids that grew out from the ancient earth. The soft and tiny sobs were masked to those who may have been alive, but to those who stood in audience were not fooled. The ones of old quietly took tally of how many times the girl child had been to this forgotten place and found their shadowy list had been filled out. The women of the crowd smiled sadly, understanding the child's pain. Long forgotten specters of the past had become her only audience for some time now.
Silken strands of golden hair swooped gently around her shoulders as she sunk silently to the thick, padded grass. Fingers nimble with age and practice tenderly traced the engraved words of the marble stone. More tears spilled from her emerald eyes as her left hand dared to touch the sacred stone, the plain gold band becoming an insult to the one below her. Had guilt had its way, this would have been resolved long ago, with the ending of many other lives, her own included. But soft last words kept her from doing what she had wanted to do so much. You must live, Robin. You're their hope…and mine too.
A new bout of tears, now seeming in never-ending supply, fell down her porcelain cheeks as she numbly set a single white rose on the head stone. It hurt to live, to talk, and to smile. It hurt to try and do what was best when she died a little bit inside every time she tried. Those around her thought she had hopefully moved on, though they hadn't themselves. To put them at ease, she found herself plastering a smile to her face every morning and removing it every night she went to bed. But she couldn't keep the façade forever. If she did, she feared she would begin to believe it, believe she was fine. But she would never let herself do that, she couldn't.
Her voice came out low and whispery, a true testament to what was left of the slip of a witch he had left.
"Tadiama." She bit her lip, forcing herself to continue. She would not back down. He had every right to know.
"I'm back, Amon, I'm back." Unseen to the emerald-eyed Eve, the specters that had accustomed to her visit slowly departed, giving the girl child the privacy she deserved. One shadow would not budge, listening to the quiet admission.
"I'm, uh, getting…married tomorrow." The soft spoken girl struggled, the pain and betrayal she felt trying to keep her from uttering those words. Sobs and tears hindered her from continuing, finally coming to the realization to what she was going to do.
"His name is Aaron and he's from the US. He treats me right and swears that the ground I walk on is sacred." A chuckle escaped her delicate lips as she said the last part. Many also did.
"He's a craft user, but not as strong as…" She broke off, steadying herself with one hand against the head stone.
"Um, his craft is telekinesis. He helps out a lot with the hunts…Oh, he was the replacement for Doujima for awhile while she was pregnant with Amona. Nagira named her after you. You should see her, Amon, she is beautiful. She has eyes like you and blonde hair…" The Eve broke off again biting her lip.
"After Amona was born, I often wondered if that's what our…daughter may have looked like. God, if only…" Tears raced down her pale cheeks in torrents at the loss of her lover and possible child. The one shadow figure who stayed, like he had many times, yearned to comfort the girl. Praying for strength, she pulled herself together.
"But I'm marrying Aaron tomorrow. He loves me so much and…I'm not sure if I love him, and for God's sake, I'm marrying him tomorrow. I tell him I do and maybe a part of me does and it is love, but not love. I know it's not the once in a life time, shoot over the moon, can't live with out you love. Amon, I can't breath with out you. Karasuma swears it took me months to relearn how enough to survive. And that is what my life has been resorted to…surviving.
"My world comes crashing down every minute of every day when you're not with me. I can only now live…with memories. Of the few times we were together, truly together. Amon, I would if only the past seven years hadn't happened and I had been there that night…" She felt like she would drown in her tears.
"Please, if you ever could, forgive me for what I am doing tomorrow. I would marry the man I love, but you are not here…You left me, you promised you never would. You lied to me, Amon…How could you lie to me?" She collapsed onto the archaic ground, pounding her tiny fist into it. Each sob echoed into the peaceful night, her sounds of anguish and sorrow visiting all those who had heard them before. But her wails seemed to become the first they had ever known, truly known piercing their ethereal armor, straight to the hearts.
"I love you Amon. I love you so much it hurts, it kills me. If I could only join you…"
… What do I have left to live for! … All your children who need to be born. The man that you will make the happiest in the world. … No, he is right here! It's you, please, don't leave me. My only children are your children. … Past words haunted her as she dutifully repeated her prayer for her lover now long past.
"I love you…never forget." And with those final, fateful words, the liquid silver eyes closed, seeking the soft green fire no more. The Eve cried out in pain, as her soul felt like it was being ripped in half and torn from her body.
As the night waned on and the gray times of the early morning approached, the girls soft sobs subsided. She did not cry or yell, fore sorrow and anger no longer resided in her. She was only numb, numb to every thing. The shadow who had stayed present the entire time, guarding the flaxen haired girl into the morning, could feel her detachment. All her emotions had been poured into the ancient earth, renewed by her sorrow, fed by her rage, and nurtured by her undying love. But with every emotion in the earth, she was left with only the numbness that she had felt for seven years.
The Eve stood slowly, pressing a soft kiss to the cool marble.
"I had hoped I would only have to wear a white dress one time in my life…" She quietly picked herself up, gazing into the soft gray haze and then past into the star, heavenward.
"But I guess I'll have to wear one when we meet again…in heaven."
The girl child slowly walked back to her car, reluctant to start the ignition and pull away. As she did though, the specters who stood in silent vigil near the shadowed guardian wished the child a careful drive home. The archaic land slowly blessed the Eve to try and find some peace, knowing her Adam had returned to heavev without her. As the ones of old dispersed once again as the impending dawn neared, the shadow turned to watch her leave, staring as long as possible until all he could see were stars. A soft smirk appeared on his ethereal lips. In heaven.
So, what did you think? Please Review!
Disclimer: Don't own no one, except maybe Amona…
--This takes place nine years after the Factory. Amon died two years after the Factory by a group of Hunters. Robin then was allowed to join the STN-J again.