Title: Evergreen
Author: athira80
Date started: 28 December 2004
Category: Shonen-Ai, Angst, Character Death
Ratings: PG-13
Pairings: Athrun Zala & Kira Yamato
Disclaimers: All the characters are owned by Bandai Sunrise from Gundam Seed. The song "Evergreen" is written and performed by HYDE.
Evergreen
I lie awake beside the windowsill
Like a flower in a vase
A moment caught in glass
The birds' chirping sounds is the first sound that reaches my ear this morning. I open my amethyst eyes, which are hidden, under my brunette bangs. I blink, trying to adjust some lights surrounding me. My eyes turns on to the ceiling, an empty ceiling, like a sky without its clouds.
The rays of sunlight come and beckon me
To a sleepy dreamy haze
A sense of summer days
I notice some rays of sunlight coming out behind the curtain, begging me to open them. I walk lazily towards them and open the curtain. The weather is beautiful today. The sky has clouds on it, the trees are waving at me and the grasses as well. It's so beautiful, surprisingly.
The last few days the weather has been so dark and rainy. I could even hear the lightning behind the windows. I remember I hid under the blanket that night. Athrun was there too. Accompanied me and embraced me within those warm arms.
"Don't worry, I won't let you be alone." He said.
If only I could stop the flow of time
Turn the clock to yesterday
Erasing all the pain
I chuckle at the thought that just came at me. We've been staying together in this urban environment, away from the city, far enough to let go our painful memories since the last war ended. Only both of us had been supporting each other since then. We wanted to start a new beginning. The war really had cracked our friendship and our relationship. And so, we agreed to stay side by side.
I've only memories of happiness
Such pleasure we have shared
I'd do it all again
I decided to jump out from my bed and stretching out slightly as my medium-sized pajama sleeves fall on my shoulders. I jump happily on the wooden floor then I realize that Athrun might've still asleep. I peek behind his door, but only to find an empty room. He must've gone to work already, I thought.
I walk downstairs and I look up upon the waving trees again behind the window glass. They seem wanting me to go out and play with them. They're welcoming the beautiful weather today. Feel convince, I walk towards the main door and open it.
This scenery is evergreen
As buds turn into leaves, the colours live and breathe
This scenery is evergreen
Your tears are falling silently
I ran and ran and ran to the endless landscape. I stretch my arms wide beside me, welcoming the breeze to my face and to my chest. My body feels so light that I feel like having myself a pair of wings behind my back. I keep on running and throw myself against the soft grass underneath. It's been so long since the last time me and Athrun played this chasing game. We've been running around like freeborn children. No responsibilities, no goal in life, we were just playing in this quiet land. Our land.
All of a sudden I can feel some tears flowing from my eyes. I gasp and quickly wipe them away. If Athrun sees me like this, we would've smile at me and wipe my tears away. And he might've teasing me by calling me a 'crybaby'. Well… I've always been the crybaby. I've always been trying to break that habit, yet it seems to be futile. Look at me now. I'm crying.
So full of joy, you are a child of spring
With a beauty that is pure
An innocence endures
I miss Athrun so much. No matter how many minutes or seconds he's not here with me, everything seems to be so lonely. I hate loneliness. That reminds me the moment the first time he came into my room, silently. He kissed my forehead in my sleep, he didn't notice that I still awake. I moved slightly in response and he jumped a little when he realized that I was in my shallow sleep. I could barely see his face in my dark room. His hands were shaken, afraid that he might've hurt my feelings.
You flow right through me like a medicine
Bringing quiet to my soul
Without you I'm not whole
"Gomenasai…gomenasai…I didn't mean too."
I just smiled at him. Then I told him it's all right. I realized that our friendship has grown into the next level and I was quite pleased knowing that he loves me in return. And so, I leaned closer to his warm lips and kissed him back. Even though I could hardly see his face, I could sense he was quite astonished by my reaction. Then I could feel his arms curved behind my back, embracing me tightly within his warm embrace. And…that was the first time we made our love under the moonlit night.
This scenery is evergreen
I need you far too much, I long to feel your touch
This scenery is evergreen
You've always been so dear to me
I don't see the reason why all of a sudden I have these nostalgic memories coming in into mind now. All of those memories feel like invading my mind just then. I stare myself towards the blue sky. I don't know how am I supposed to describe this, but I feel the sky and myself is like one body. And then, my ears sense someone singing a melodious song. I don't see anyone around me. Must be the wind singing within the breeze.
I decide to walk back to our cottage house. Looking myself, I just realize that I'm still in my pajamas. Athrun might've given me his usual lecture of 'not to go out with your sleeping uniform, otherwise you'll get all the bugs and dirt on your bed'. Well, this time, I'm going to ignore him and maybe some slight kiss in the morning will calm him down a bit.
I hum cheerfully as I close the main door. As I walk further, I hear a sob. More like a familiar sob. It can't be Athrun, can it? The voice comes from my bedroom. I walk upstairs to find out the source of the voice. I hear some creeks in my door. I peek through it and I see him, Athrun, with his head buried within both his arms, sitting on the wooden floor beside my bed. I wonder what makes him so depressing that way.
This scenery is evergreen
It sorrow at the sight of seeing you so sad
This scenery is evergreen
I wish that I could dry your tears
I see there's some hump, which is covered by the bed sheets. I walk closely and the vision I'm seeing is rather disturbing. A cold chill goes over my spine. My heart skip a beat, my eyes are wide open. I almost stumble myself backwards seeing it.
I see myself there, lying on my own bed, with my eyes closed. Then, I hear the singing voice again…It's Athrun who's been singing beside my ear all this time. His tears roll heavily on his blushed cheeks. He's been crying for a long time.
/Athrun…/
/Don't worry, I won't let you be alone./ He cried. He cried for whom?
I reached out to grab the light. It was so beautiful.
Athrun grabbed my hand and whispered, /Please…don't leave me alone./
/Athrun…/
/…yes?/
/Sing me a song. That beautiful song of yours./
Athrun's tears are rolling heavily on his cheeks as he struggles to keep his note on tune. He began to sing, until the minute to where I am now. He's been singing for me all this time. So that's where I hear the melodious song came from.
I close my mouth realizing at the cruelty of the reality. The God of Death already took my soul away without letting me to say my final farewell to my beloved. I stare at both of my transparent hands. My time is running out. I don't want to leave this world just yet. All this time we've been staying together. I don't want to leave him alone. Half of my soul feels like it has been tear apart. It hurts. It hurts to see him in such sorrow.
I walk towards him and even though I know that he won't be able to feel me, I place both of my arms around him. I just want to embrace him one last time. I cry on his back then I hear he stops singing.
"Kira..?"
I feel like to call his name out right now. Telling him that I don't want to leave him behind. I close my eyes tightly as my tears are streaming heavily on my cheeks. I still want to remain here with you. I don't want to leave and go to the unknown world I'm about to go to. I sit behind him, hands clutching tightly on his warm body.
The bells have rung, the time has come
I cannot find the words to say my last goodbye
This scenery is evergreen
Then, I catch a glimpse of a dark, black figure standing few distances away from both of us. He's wearing a ripped dark hooded cloth. I gasp by the chilling view.
He is the God of Death, it's his duty to send souls up above. Most books that I've read, God of Death comes in a form of a skeleton and the way I see right beside me is a complete opposite. He comes in a form of a young boy. He looks younger than I. He reaches out his hand to me. I can see his pair of ruby eyes, hidden under the hood. His sharp eyes show sadness within. The Shinigami doesn't say a word. He smiles instead. A warm smile.
For some reason, I stop crying and reach out his hands. Slowly taking my own feet to stand up. I realized there's nothing I can do now. I turn towards my beloved. All I have to do now is to give him strength and watch him from afar. I'm finally able to smile once again. All this time, Athrun's the one who's been telling me not to cry. Now it's my turn to do the same.
Before I vanish, I lean my lips closer beside his ear and whispers.
You've always been so dear to me…
END
Author's notes: Can you guess who the Shinigami is? XD Yup! It's Shinn Asuka! I always thought he's very suitable to play the part as Shinigami. Since his first name start of with the word 'Shin' and 'Shin' means death in Japanese. Thank you, readers!