Jin walked across a quiet, uninhabited island, one of many off Japan's coast. Tears had fallen almost non-stop down his cheeks since leaving Koenma's office. They fell slow and silent and scorching. Finally they began to stop, the intervals between tears greater and greater till not another tear fell. Yet, though it had been months of tears, he still felt as though there were more, simply waiting.

Since that day, he had lost interest in almost everything. He no longer enjoyed flying, or eating or laughing. All he wanted was to die, but he didn't care enough to kill himself. And even still, he clung to a tiny, desperate hope that Koenma had been wrong; that Touya would want him back; that Touya would find out he'd been looking; that Touya would show up behind that next shadow there.

His eyes were dull and glassed, his clothes torn and stained, his hair tangled and dirty, his ears drooped like they had never in his life done before, his body thin, scarred and weak, his face smudged and emotionless. The hope in him was like a floating candle in the ocean, bobbing up and down occasionally with the tide, fluttering and threatening to extinguish with each devastating wind, running slowly out of fuel. At first, the hope was greater, though never strong, but as the days, the weeks, the months passed, it grew still weaker. He was almost out now.

It was this utter lack of hope that made him so ragged. He ate nothing but what lay directly in his path, drank no water but from the rivers he had to swim through, slept only when he collapsed from exhaustion, something which happened more and more often. He flew only when his path lead him a cross water too vast to cross, mostly walking and swimming across the smaller bodies of water.

He no longer cared what happened to him, wanting only to move on, on the slight chance he might somehow stumble on Touya's youki signature and find him, be able to see his love was happy, even if he could never let Touya's know him. And his despondency was furthered by the knowledge that even if he did somehow find Touya, he would have to hide himself, to insure Touya's happiness. But he swore to himself he wouldn't let Touya know he was there, should the chance come. He wouldn't let himself make Touya unhappy, he wouldn't let himself hurt Touya again. If Touya was happy. then he would not, could not, take that from him.

When he reached the shore he flew off the island, going straight forward, even when other islands lay only a short distance to this or that side. Finally he landed, stumbled, and fell, unconscious.

A/N I seriously cried when I wrote this. And I RARELY get at all emotional in reading or writing stories. Or if I do, it's still slight. So it has to be pretty good I think, If it can wrangle tears from my bone dry eyes! LOL point of fact, I would like a specific review from people who like/didn't like this chapter. That is, in you review, if u send one ((do! It's fun!)), talk about whatever else you like, but please make a specific comment on this chapter cuz I'm rather proud of it.