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Chapter Three
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Stuart gave Toadie a quizzical look. "Did you lose one of your rings?"
Toadie leapt up out of the armchair and began rummaging around the bedside table. "Where is it? Where's it gone?"
"Toadie, settle down! Tell me what's happened and I'll help you look."
"You don't understand!" he shouted frantically. "She was here, she left me her ring and she's coming back for it!"
"Who left a ring?"
Toadie turned around to look at him. "Dee… she was here… she's alive."
Stu's face altered in distress. "Mate," he said gently, "you've got to stop torturing yourself like this."
"NO! You don't understand, she was here. She's been in a witness protection program for the past year because her life was in danger." Toadie got down on his knees and peered anxiously under the bed. "Maybe I knocked it when I was asleep," he muttered.
Stuart grabbed his arm and tried to haul him upright. "Toadie, get up. Please."
Toadie pushed him away. "Let go of me!"
"Toadie, you've got to stop playing these games with yourself. It's not healthy. Dee's gone. We all miss her, but we've got to… you've got to start putting your life back together."
Stu went to pull him away from his search once again when Toadie jumped up and started to push him away with more force than what was needed.
"Stop telling me to forget about her!"
He pushed him again, harder this time.
"Stop telling me what's right and what's wrong."
Stuart was being backed into a corner of the room.
"She's alive, and she's coming BACK!"
Toadie's door burst open and a burly looking man rushed in. "Okay Mr. Rebecchi, I think you better calm down."
"No! Nobody believes me!" Toadie put his arms up in defence as the man came over to him, taking a firm grip on his shoulders and lead him to sit down. He pushed the intercom button next to the bed. "Sandra, I think you'd better bring Mr. Rebecchi's medication in."
Stu watched in sadness as the man tried to calm a hysterical Toadie down who was still trying in vain to look for the ring.
Sandra bustled in purposefully with the pills and water. "Here Mr. Rebecchi," she said kindly. "Take two of these and you'll feel much better."
Toadie seemed to snap out of his rage at the sound of her voice. "Sandra?" He slumped down on his bed in defeat. "It's okay Sandra, I don't have a headache today. Did you get those reports sent to Tim?"
She looked at him with a sorrowful smile. "Mr. Rebecchi, you know you're not at work." She sat next to him and patted his hand. "I'm the nurse of this ward, remember?"
He gazed at her, frowning slightly, then gave a sullen nod.
"Now you've got to take your medication, please. This is what happens when you don't take it. I'm sure your parents and your friends are anxious for you to get better as soon as possible."
Toadie turned his attention to Stu who gave him a weak smile.
"You've gotta take your pills, Toad. We want you back in the house of trouser and you won't be able to if you don't help yourself."
Toadie bit his lip to stop it from trembling. He took the medication and water from Sandra. He lifted the cup up to his mouth and slowly emptied the pills into it, then took a swig of water to wash the bitterness down.
He gave the empty cups back to her and looked at his hands. "I want to be alone. Please?"
Sandra, Stu and the orderly left the room in silence. Toadie curled up on his bed, staring at his wedding ring on his finger.
Stu faced them. "I'll call the Rebecchi's and let them know what happened. They'll probably want a chat with the co-ordinator."
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Angie and Kev sat in the office of the West Warratah Psychiatric Hospital with Brian Weisman, the co-ordinator of the establishment. Angie had been crying. Kev was sitting there looking rigid. Both looked extremely tired.
"So you're saying he had another episode?" Angie asked Brian, tearfully.
"I'm afraid he hadn't been taking his anti-depressants again. We had been working on a trust program with him to get some of his self-confidence back, but judging by this most recent episode he hasn't been returning the favour."
"Stuart said something about Toadie thinking Dee was back again," inquired Kev.
Brian leant forward in his chair, clasping his hands together. "Yes, I understand this time he fabricated a story that she had been in a witness protection program for the past year."
"And last time he said that she had amnesia and had been living as someone else until she suddenly got her memory back," Angie murmured to no one in particular.
"It's quite reasonable for him to be feeling like this around this time of year. It's been one year since the accident, hasn't it?"
Kev and Angie nodded.
"People with post-traumatic stress disorder are at their lowest around the time of the anniversary of the event. He's also been having the nightmares again quite frequently."
Angie's eyes filled up. "It's all my fault, I shouldn't have encouraged him to go to the cliff. I thought… I just thought it would make the recovery process quicker for him." She started to sob into her hands.
Kev put an arm around her. "Shh, Ang. It's not your fault, sweetheart."
"Then why isn't he getting better!" she cried out.
Brian gave them a reassuring look. "I know this is something very difficult for all of the family. We're going to continue to do all that we can to make Jarrod feel comfortable. His exposure therapy will be tough on him, but it's in his best interests to continue to relive his ordeal under the controlled conditions. It's hopeful that one day in the near future he will be able to visit that cliff top without feeling the stress and anxiety that he usually feels just thinking about it."
He stood up and walked towards the door. "I'll just go and get Jarrod's files and then we'll go and see if he's awake. I won't be a moment."
Angie watched him leave then turned to Kev. "It's like we're back at square one," she sighed despondently.
Toadie had first begun to show signs of distress about three months after the accident. He had been withdrawn, irritable, anxious, and had been having horrible nightmares that made him wake up in a cold sweat. After he had been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder, Angie and Kev thought it best for him to stay in the Psychiatric hospital. West Warratah being the best one they could find outside of Erinsborough and Colac. He had been making considerable progress after a couple of months, and had even been discharged, but before too long something inside of him was triggered which made him emotionally and physically unstable once more. Kev and Angie had no choice but to encourage him to go back to the hospital.
That had been a couple of months ago, and his progress this time around had been severely limited. The constant stream of familiar faces coming to visit him like Stuart, Connor and his family only lifted his spirits so much. He just wasn't the Toadie he was before the accident at the wedding.
Brian peered inside his office. "Would you like to see him now?"
Angie and Kev got up and followed him down the corridor.
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Toadie was still lying on his bed, facing away from the glass panel in the door to his room. He knew that his parents were watching him but he couldn't bear to look at them. His mum especially. He knew that they would be staring at him with pitying expressions and he didn't want to have to deal with that right now.
He wanted so much to feel like himself again and beat the depression that gnawed away at him, but for now he just wanted to curl up and sleep for a week.
Toadie grasped his cherished photo of Dee in his Hawaiian shirt tightly in his hands and scrunched his eyes shut, willing himself to sleep and praying that he wasn't going to have any nightmares. Or worst of all that his mind wasn't going to play tricks on him again and make him believe that she was back.
He'd already had enough heartbreak to last a lifetime.
End