-- One Minute 'Til Midnight --
Monday, December 20, 2004
Author's notes: Stuff that I scribbled down and edited, instead of RomanceDOTcom. So sue me (actually, no, don't, I'm quite broke as it is). I enjoyed this concept. Hope you enjoy reading it too!
Disclaimers: Merupuri is my second love (go check it out), but Furuba will eternally be mine. Or not. If that makes sense. Which it doesn't.
December 31, 2004
10:21 p.m.
They say how you spend your New Year's will determine how you spend the rest of the year. Then again, they say stupid things.
It's just an old wives tale, this fable about New Year's and the rest of the year. I know that I've spent more than one New Year's in my room flipping through old books or practicing stances, and that certainly hasn't had an impact on the way that the rest of my year went. I didn't spend an entire year trapped in my room, surrounded by books, and I certainly didn't spend that amount of time just fighting or sparring with my shadow.
It's an old wives tale.
But I can't get it out of my mind.
10:32 p.m.
There's a party right now at Kakinoki's. I wonder if I should go. It might be fun, and most people expect me there - but there are too many girls and too many possibilities for disaster in one room. I'm sure that Hatori would be pretty angry to have to interrupt his 'exciting' plans (Ayame and Shigure are dragging him to karaoke… perhaps he'll be more pleased) to erase the memories of some fifty kids.
I know Tohru's enjoying the party with her two usual friends; I can imagine them dancing up a storm. Actually, no, I can't. What I can imagine is Tohru making awkward small talk, spilling punch over random people and apologizing profusely. Uotani will probably be playing cards with a bunch of gambling guys, and naturally, Hana will be floating around her, predicting things and warding off many others.
Sounds like a great party.
We had the New Year's celebration earlier this evening. It was Kureno's turn to dance. The costume itself was… nice, I suppose. In a way, I'm thankful that I never have to dance. In a way, but… no. Just no. Sometimes I wish I could dance as well.
I was kept in my separate room as usual. Akito didn't bother to utter two words to me, thankfully. I don't think I could have looked into that monster's eyes. They may call me the monster, but there are other kinds of monsters than beasts in this world. That's all I can say.
They say how you spend your New Year's will determine how you spend the rest of the year.
Damnit, I can't get that thought out of my head.
10:50 p.m.
It's awfully quiet in the house now. Yuki went with Momiji and Kagura to city skating rink. Apparently they have some great fireworks ceremony with an orchestra and the whole she-bang just waiting around for the big hand to reach twelve and start up a storm.
I can't skate.
Never learned how, and I couldn't care less, because it means that I don't have to spend the rest of this evening with Kagura clinging to me, claiming that she can't skate either (she can skate rings around me and anyone else - I've seen her).
It's boring alone at home though. The party keeps resurfacing in my mind, and every time I go downstairs I pass Tohru's room. I remember that she's there, spilling punch on people, and that makes the party just immensely more important.
Not the spilling punch on people part.
After all, what if someone tries to hit on Tohru? Or is being an indecent bastard, and neither Yuki nor myself, more importantly, is there to ward of that stupid idiot? Sure, the Yankee's there, but she can only offer so much protection.
And there's that stupid wives tale that I can't get out of my head. Every time I glance at the clock in my room, the times glaring back at me in these glowing green numbers, telling me that I only have two hours to decide the fate of my year. Then one hour. Then less than one hour.
As if my fate for the rest of the year can be hinged on the fact of whether I'm with Tohru or not at midnight.
Or with anybody for that matter, because my world doesn't balance on my relationship with Tohru. We could continue to stay friends and things could remain just perfectly in place like they are right now. That wouldn't have any effect on the rest of my year because it's a damn wives tale and I must stop thinking of it right now.
10:58 p.m.
Stupid wives tale keeps coming back to me and jumping on my back, insisting that I run over to the party and do something. I don't know why this superstition matters to me all that much, because I've never been the one to be too superstitious (well, as superstitious as being cursed will allow me to be).
I've decided to take a walk.
11:16 p.m.
Still walking around and it's begun to snow. Nothing really exciting. Some stray cats started to follow me, but they left for a can full of garbage. Other than that, it's been uneventful, boring and filled with fluffy white.
I should've brought something warmer.
I wonder if Tohru brought her jacket to Kakinoki's. Anything less than a big thick coat for Tohru would probably make her freeze to death in this weather. She's so delicate and so weak - sometimes I think every touch is going to make her break in two. All the same, it's weird how strong she can still be.
I mean, cooking for Yuki, Shigure and me isn't an easy task. But not just that. Hard to say, but somehow when she walks into the room, you get this inexplicable feeling that everything will be all right. Just because she's there, and she's telling you about how her day went. While you couldn't possibly care less, there's just something about the way she looks at you that makes you want to listen to her talk and nod at all the right places.
It's strange when Tohru's in the room, because I don't feel like such an outcast anymore. I have this girl who accepts me for who I am; hell, who actually knows what I am, but accepts me all the same. Not for what I am, but for who I can be.
11:25 p.m.
My feet have carried me conveniently towards a karaoke bar. The outside is decorated with outrageous neon signs that flash on and off at a dizzying rate. It's amazing that people can take more than one glimpse at these things and not risk burning their eyes out. I swear.
There's lots of people inside, and I can see the sloshy, slushy path that leads from the front door to the main room. It's a hazard, damnit. Tohru makes sure that we all leave our boots at the front door, so that we won't go around like idiots, stepping in puddles of water and getting our socks wet, as well as slipping and cracking our heads on the floor.
That was hideously graphic.
For a moment, I was hesitant about stepping inside, but it was getting cold outside. Besides, there's nothing else to stare at outside. At least here you can gawk at the hopelessly bad singers, who are only on stage because they're trying to impress others (and failing horribly). Tohru would probably have congratulated them on their honest attempts instead of revealing to them how terrible they sound.
Suddenly, a lady steps up to me. Or should I say stumbled towards me. I can tell she's drunk, and with her breath heavy with alcohol, she whispers, "Hey kiddo, how 'bout you share a kiss with your ol' sweetheart when the clock strikes twelve…" (Except sweetheart sounded more like 'sweatheart'. Bad thoughts.) Then she gave me a disgustingly pointed wink, and walked away with what should've been a sway in her hips (she looked like a lame horse).
Ugh, it's no wonder Hatori doesn't like karaoke.
But what that old hag said has definitely left its impression. Not the 'sweatheart' part, but the part about kissing. It's a tradition, I'm fully aware - a tradition to kiss your sweetheart when the clock strikes twelve.
They say how you spend your New Year's determines how you'll spend the rest of the year.
I think I'm going to start walking again.
11:30 p.m.
I feel very jumpy in this weather, as if something's going to jump out and catch me off guard. As if some crazy, savage girl will ambush me and hug me so tightly that I won't be able to breathe (before I transform, of course). It's like Kagura's watching me or something.
Hardly anyone else is on the streets though; it's surprisingly quiet. Sure, I pass by the occasional house party, but generally things are just white and covered in Christmas lights. It's given me a lot of time to think.
And I've made some surprising discoveries.
I've decided that Tohru needs more than her coat at that party.
11:44 p.m.
Who knew that Kakinoki's house would be so far away? It's not that I've decided to attend his party or anything, but I figure I might as well pop in my head before midnight just to see how things are going. Only for a few minutes though, because I don't think I'd want to be there when all the kissing starts.
Or maybe I would.
Because part of my discoveries said that I might possibly, just might possibly, have feelings for someone. Someone. They aren't strong feelings I would say. Or maybe they are. I just can't get her off of my mind is all. Is that normal for someone who thinks about said person for a lot of the time, but says they aren't in love, but still kind of thinks they are, but isn't sure?
That thought was far too long and detailed to be just a thought.
11:47 p.m.
My feet are so damn cold, it isn't funny.
I've been walking and thinking for what seems like ages, because the white snow gives me blank space to clear my thoughts. There are a lot of thoughts to clear.
I can understand that I think about her a lot. After all, I live with her. After all, I see her at school. After all, she is rather sweet, naïve, apologetic, sensitive, strong, care-giving, gentle and… After all, she is rather nice. She's my Tohru. And I can't quite imagine living without her anymore. I don't think I've been able to imagine that for a very long time.
I don't think these feelings are new or very strong, but suddenly I find myself running, because I've realized the importance of that New Year's kiss. I mean, if the way you spend this New Year's midnight thing is going to be the way you spend the rest of your year… I guess I'd prefer to spend it with someone I loved than just myself.
I guess it's decided then. What a surprising discovery.
11:50 p.m.
I think I'm lost.
I've been running for five minutes at least, and I've passed house after house after house, but it doesn't seem like there are any familiar cars parked out in front. I thought I'd at least see Nakaouji's car, with his stupid vanity plate 'FL4M3Z' pinned on the front and back. But every house party I see, I can't find his car.
There isn't much time left.
Ten minutes till the most important midnight of my life and I think I'm lost.
11:57 p.m.
There's a house up ahead, and I think I see Nakaouji's flashy car... it might be a trick of the Christmas lights and the snow, but hopefully my eyesight hasn't failed me, when I have three minutes to get there.
I have to make it.
One minute 'til midnight
The music is so loud I can hear it through the front door, and while I'm pounding on the frame for someone to open up, I realize it's unlocked.
I don't bother to shut it after I step in.
There are far too many people, but finally I spot Tohru in the crowd, mixing with others who are without partners to kiss under the out-of-place disco ball Kakinoki has hung in the middle of the…
My mind is wandering.
People are starting to count down, but I still have to carefully make my way around the room, threading around couples who are staring so, so deeply into one another's eyes, that frankly, even if I were to bump into someone and transform, they probably wouldn't notice.
I think she sees me now, because her eyes have gone from large to larger. It's a comforting sight to see; I think it's a good kind of surprised. Her mouth is a pleasant little 'o' and I wish that I could reach her in time, so that her mouth would… well.
Wandering again.
It feels as if the crowd is egging me on, trying to get me to reach her in time. The voices of the group are all starting to build to one, big, annoying voice that warns me that I only have four seconds to go. Three before I need to make it. Two or else it's all lost. One and the game is…
January 01, 2005
12:00 a.m.
They say that how you spend New Year's determines how you will spend the rest of the year.
"I love you."
Author's notes: I think it's going to be a great year.
Happy New Year's to all the sweethearts out there, whether you have a sweetheart of your own or not. Enjoy the new year and make the most of it as well. Make it yours.
Thursday, December 23, 2004