Lessons In Love

Disclaimer: Everything here (except for any characters that don't sound familiar) belongs to the spectacular JK Rowling

A/N I dedicate this to my one reviewer. Thank you. .

Chapter 2: Lessons in Lily

Ursula was kept waiting five minutes before James finally turned up at half one. His mouth was full with a sandwich and he hurriedly swallowed it.

"Sorry I'm late. I went to the Great Hall and nicked a sandwich so I wouldn't be hungry for the rest of the day. Anyway, I'm ready to start 'Lessons in love!'"

Ursula raised an amused eyebrow, "Try 'lessons in Lily.' Once we've stopped you from being a cocky git, there's no telling whether she'll like your personality."

James grinned cockily, "What do you mean? Of course she will."

"You don't know that. She might just not like you whether you're a nicer person or not. It's all about chemistry. You either have it or you don't."

"Me and Lily have chemistry, believe me. I can feel it." James seemed very sure of himself.

"Right." Ursula said, eager to move on, "second lesson, 'Behaving like a gentleman.'"

"I am a gentleman! James protested.

Ursula put on a 'oh really' face.

"I am! I'm always nice to her, and I always tell her how good she looks."

"That's all very well, James, but how exactly do you say it? From the times I've watched you with Lily it always seems to come across that you're being... um... well it comes across as if you're trying to get in her pants."

James's mouth hung open, "What?! How?"

"Like the other week when you said 'Your arse is looking particularly nice today in that skirt.' " Ursula shook her head, resisting the urge to laugh, " You should say something more like, ' Lily, your hair looks really nice today,' or hold the door open for her when you walk into class. But don't say nice things to her all the time, because it can become a little weird."

"But I think she looks beautiful all the time. Why shouldn't I tell her?"

Ursula smiled sadly, "That's sweet James, but it becomes less special if you say it all the time."

James was about to reply when he spotted someone entering the library. "Oh shit."

Ursula looked at the door and saw his three friends, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew entering the library.

"Prongs!" Sirius called happily. The three of them bounded up to their table and each of them pulled up a chair.

"James," Remus said, "I never realised you knew where the library was."

"What are you doing here?" Peter asked, "We've been all over the school looking. I'm quite tired." He was panting and his face was rather red.

Sirius slapped him on his tubby stomach, "You need to get fitter, Wormtail! Anyway, Prongs, what are you doing here?" He looked at Ursula, "And with her?"

"Ursula." Ursula supplied.

"Right, what are you doing here with Ursula?"

"She's er-"

Ursula finished for him; "I'm giving him lessons on how to win Lily's heart."

Sirius snorted, "What?! Lessons on how to win Lily's heart? Well, why didn't you tell us?"

"Yes, we'd love to help." Remus added knowledgeably. "I think I understand girls quite well."

"And how would you know?" Sirius said", When have you been out with a girl exactly? I'm the experienced one."

"Shut up, the lot of you." James cut in. "You can stay if you keep quiet, and you may only talk if you have a helpful suggestion. Besides, don't you have anything better to do?"

The three boys all shook their heads innocently, "Nope. We're happy here." Sirius said.

"Right then. Ursula, you were saying?"

"I was saying before these louts interrupted-"

Sirius mouthed the word 'louts' at Remus and Peter and looked highly offended.

"that you should only compliment Lily once and a while. Like when she's looking really great or she's bought a new set of robes that you think really suit her."

James nodded slowly, "So only when she's looking extra stunning. Ok, I can manage that."

"The day James Potter manages to hold his tongue-"Sirius began, but James silenced him with a look.

"What else?"

"There's the doing nice things for her, like I said holding the door open and stuff."

"Stuff?" James prompted.

"I don't know! I can't help you every step of the way!" Ursula said, exasperated.

"If I may," Remus said tentatively, "You should maybe take out her chair for her to sit on in class."

"Yes!" Peter said excitedly, "I've seen Terry Jenkins do that for Natalie Feirier. She seems to like it."

Peter got off his chair and told Sirius to get off his. "Sirius you be Lily and I'll be James."

James snorted, "You wish..."

Sirius and Peter didn't pay attention to them. Peter took out Sirius chair, "Here you go, Lily."

Sirius put on a highly falsetto voice, "Oh James! Such a kind young man!" He put his hand to his heart in an exaggerated motion and pretended to swoon, " Kiss me now James before I faint!"

Peter and Sirius collapsed into peals of laughter, earning them a look from Madam Pince. Remus looked at them as if they were a couple of four-year-olds, instead of the seventh years they were.

"Oh very amusing." Ursula said dryly. She looked across at James who was obviously fighting the urge to laugh. "Your friends are highly immature."

James shrugged. "What else do you have to teach me?"

"Well... that's it for now."

"What do you mean that's it for now? I want you to teach me all you know."

"No, I want to see how you do with what I've taught you so far. If you do well at that, then the lesson will come sooner rather than later."

James considered it. It actually seemed like a good idea. He didn't want to take on too much than he could handle. He could only be nice to losers like Severus Snape in tiny doses. If he could at all.

"Ok. That's a good idea. If I can get top marks and win the Quidditch cup for Gryffindor in one year then I can certainly hold a door open for a girl." James said confidently.

"We'll make sure he doesn't do anything he shouldn't. What shouldn't he be doing exactly?"

"Hexing people and being a cocky, conceited, boastful... you know. And make sure he does remember to do nice things for Lily. But hopefully I'll be around for most of that so I can see how he's doing."

"Right ho. We'll help James win Evan's heart won't we, Moony, Wormtail?"

Remus and Peter nodded. "Definitely. Shouldn't be too hard keeping James from hexing Snape into oblivion." Remus said.

Ursula smiled at him. "Good. I'll see you all here when I reckon James has got it. Bye!" Ursula left, leaving James alone with the three of them.

James glared at all three of them. "The first person who says something will make me break my 'no hexing other students rule'"

The subject was not brought up.