Stupid Old Man (At Olive Garden)
One day, I was just minding my own business, just sitting in my favorite restaurant. I was very, very hungry. I was by myself, so I was very lonely. Then the waiter (who is very hot) comes by and says, "Welcome to Olive Garden, may I take your order?" I tell him what I want. He goes and gets it. While he's gone, I find an old man sitting by himself, so I make eye contact with him for a while. We're staring at each other, then he walks over. I'm so excited because, you know, I think that I've found myself a new buddy.
But no, not this old dude. Very rudely, he says, "Do you mind? I get very upset when people stare at me." So, I stick my tongue at him. So, he looks at me and gets even madder. Then I cross my eyes at him. The old dude starts muttering like he's having some kind of an attack. Then he starts pacing a little circle around my table. He really made me mad, so you know, I stick my foot out and I trip the guy. He was very fat, so the ground shook a little. The man makes me very upset, because as he's getting up, he's muttering curse words. It was bad! I mean, like -beep- this, -beep- that! Then my waiter comes back and gives me my drink. He looks very familiar.
So, I say, "Excuse me, waiter?" He turns around. I catch a glimpse of his nametag. I gasp
"Joel Madden! Come here!"
"Yes?"
"Will you sign my menu?"
"Sure, anything for you!" After he signs my menu, we sit and talk a while. The old man is still muttering, laying next to my chair.
"Oh, Joel, will you do something about him?"
"Yes, my love. SECURITY!" Then I smile at him and I feed him a breadstick. We live happily ever after.
Thank you, if you read this. I really appreciate it!! If you liked it, reply, if you didn't, well, tell me! REPLY! If you don't, I'll get the old man to freak on you!!