The Shores of Aman

Chapter Five - Memories

Bright sunlight pierced my eyelids asI stirred from a deep sleep. It was much too bright, and my eyes watered as I squinted to see. Gradually, the light dimmed. What I had thought was glaringly bright was actually only the pale starlight.

I found myself lying on a bed, not exactly the softest in the world but not uncomfortable either. The sound of leaves in wind were all about me. It sounded so peacefull. I sat up, pulling my knees in against my chest, closing my eyes to listen. There was a dull pain in my body, but the song of trees was soothing to me...

I was startled form my content listening when I sensed someone come to stand at the bedside. I opened my eyes and saw that it was a female elf, with dark hair and kind grey eyes. The fair lady smiled at me.

"You are awake at last," she said. Her voice was melodious, though deeper than most women's wont. "How do you feel? I am Moreleni, though most call me Mori."

"Feel?" I half whispered. Suddenly, a pang of nostaglia hit me. What was going on here? Where is here? Why am I here?

I shivered, though it was mild.

Mori looked at me with concern. "What is wrong? Are you cold?"

"I - I don't know... Where am I?" Myblack hair fell into my eyes as I looked up at her. "Why can I not remember anything? Who..." My teeth chattered, though I felt no cold. "Wh-who am I?"

Mori appeared concerned. "Cannot remember? Can you not remember what your name is?"

I shook my head. "No, I cannot."

Mori sank down heavily onto a small wooden stool beside the bed, her brow furrowed in thought.

"She is beautiful, even when worried," I noted absently.

After some moments, Mori's expression cleared somewhat.

"This is a matter for the Lady," she said, mostly to herself. Then she smiled kindly at me. "In the meanwhile, is there anything you need? How do you feel?"

"Fine, I suppose," I replied slowly. "Though very thirtsty."

Mori laughed lightly, a chiming musical sound. "Small wonder! You have been out for nearly two days! And here I am, pestering you with questions." She got up and waked briskly to a small table on the other side of the...the...

I glanced at my surroundings curiously. There were leaves and branches about me, and I saw that I was in an open air platform amid the boughs of a large tree. Beside the bed was what seemed to be a movable wall.

Mori returned with a wooden goblet filled with water, which she handed to me. "There is only water, I am afraid," she said apologetically. "For this is but a humble outpost talan."

But the water was sweet nectar to my parched mouth, and I drank gladly. When I finished, I asked, "What is this curious dwelling called?"

"This? It is called a talan, or flet as Men would say, a dwelling in the trees such as we Galadhrim dwell among. Though there are more luxurious and spacious homes in Caras Galadhon. This is as I have said, but a small outpost, one that Marchwarden Haldir sometimes uses for overnight watches or other times of emergence."

It was a lot of imformation, but I decided to wait and ask for more clarification later.

"How did I get here?" I asked Mori. "What happened to me?"

Mori sobered and sat down on the stool again. "Marchwarden Haldir and his company found you on a scouting trip some two days ago while routing out a band of orcs in the mountains. He brought you back, unconscious and hurt. He asked me to care for you, since I am the head Healer of the Northern Guard Division, which Haldir is the Warden of."

"Is that all?"

"It is all I know," Mori replied. "I have tended to you since, though it was not too much strain on my skills since most of your hurts were superficial though..." She faltered, but then quickly composed herself. "And Haldir came often to check on you. He is a kind soul, and all respct and love him; including myself."

"You speak much of him. Are the two of you related?" I asked curiously.

Mori laughed lightly. "Yes! I am his older sister."

"And I could never have asked for one better, Mori."

Both Mori and I turned to the source of the new voice, and found it was a fair-haired elf who had just entered from a ladder through a round hole in the floor of the talan. Mori stood with a smile.

"Haldir, it is about time you got here," Mori said teasingly.

"I apologize, dear sister," he replied with a twinkle in his eyes. "There was much paperwork today, and I was kept late."

Mori laughed and embraced him. She turned back to me with a smile. "And this would be my brother, Haldir."

Haldir smiled at me. His eyes were full of kindness.

"Well met, my lady," he said warmly. "I trust that you are feeling better?"

I nodded, unable to get the words out from my mouth which seemed to have locked shut in his somewhat overwhelming presence.

Mori hurriedly bustled over to me with a small plate of fruits and another cupt of water. "Here, eat something dear, you must be famished." She then steered Haldir away, saying, "Let her eat in peace; you can talk later, oh one-who-never-keeps-silent." She half-dragged Haldir to the other side fo the talan, with the tree-trunk around which the platform had been built between us, neatly obstructing my view.

I did not think I could stomache any food at the moment, so I simply sipped at the water. I could hear hushed voices from Mori and Haldir, though I could not distinguish any words.

After some time, Mori reappeared with Haldir. I saw Mori's glance travel to the untouched fruits, and quickly mumbled that I had no appetite at the moment. She nodded, and then urged me to drink more water.

Mori looked to Haldir. "If there is nothing else of importance, then perhaps you would leave so she may have some rest?"

Haldir nodded tentatively. "Then I bid you a good night, my lady," he said courteously. I murmured something appropriate in reply. Mori said she must leave also, and asked if there was anything I needed. I shook my head, saying that I only wished for rest.

But after she and Haldir had left, I could not sleep. I was long awake, gazing at the stars through the foilage, thinking and wondering why Haldir had left so abruptly. He did not even ask my name. Then again, it was probably for the best.

It was only until I the first light of dawn had pierced the sky that I remembered Mori talking quietly to Haldir, and knew that they had been speaking of me...

-----

I found Haldir waiting for me as I descended from the Lord and Lady's talan, where I had just spoken with Lady Galadriel.

"How did it go?" Haldir asked.

"Fine, I suppose," I replied slowly." Lady Galadriel said that if I cannot remember, then there is nothing to help me. We can only hope for my memories to return one day." I felt a lump form in my throat as I added softly, "It it ever does."

Haldir laid a comforting hand on my shoulder. "It will be alright, do not fret. You have lost your old self, yes, but now you have another chance to build a new life."

I rubbed my eyes to repell the tears that threatened to spill, and nodded feebly. "The Lady said I should find a new name for myself, though I asked her to simply give me one. But she said it will be more rewarding to find a name myself."

Haldir contemplated this as we walked away toward the gate fo Caras Galadhon. There were many lamps along the path to guide out way, some lit by candles, others by strange means I did not understand. Haldir walked silently in thought. I wondered what he was thinking of, and gathered the courage to ask him so.

"I was thinking of names," he said, smiling a bit sheepishly. "I have an idea, though I do not know if It would please you."

"What is it?" I asked eagerly.

"He gazed at the lamps that lit our way and said softly, "Lícuma."

"Lícuma," I repeated to myself, liking the feel of it on my tongue. "It means 'candle', does it not?"

He nodded and looked down, almost as if embarrased. "It is nothing fancy or elegant, butcandles have always seemed wonderful to me. Bright, glorious, steadily lighting one's path..." He trailed off.

I thought for a few moments more. "I like it," I said. "Lícuma. I am Lícuma."

He looked surprised but glad. "It suits you well, a fair name for one so fair..." He suddenly seemed to realize what he had said, and looked away again.

But I felt my hopes and spirits rise. I had a name, I was Lícuma. and it seemed I had more than just that...

"So, then," I said lightly. "How about if you show me about Lothlórien a bit? Since the Lady has allowed me to stay here and make Lórien my home, it would be good to familiarize myself."

He looked up and saw my smiling face. He smiled also. "It would be a joy, my lady," he said with an overly theatrical bow. He took my hand in his. "Let me show you the beauties of your home."

-----

Where will you be staying?" Haldir asked as we walked by the flowing Celebrant. The day was bright, though windy.

I brushed a strand of hair from my eyes.

"I cannot stay at the outpost talan for much longer, but Mori has offered for me to stay with her." I looked about me and smiled. "Though I doubt I shall spend much time cluttering her home with my presence, as right now I only wan to wander about the woods, Lórien is so beautiful."

Haldir smiled at me. "Indeed, our homeland is fair. Though you have yet to witness a gem of Lórien's beauty. Thus far you have seen much, but heard little."

"What do you mean?"

His smile was enigmatic. "Come."

He led me on, toward the heart of Lórien. I began to lose my sense of direction but I guessed that we were somewhere southwest of the city. We followed the river Celebrant, silver water on one side, silver mellyrn upon the other. We gradually left the river and passed into Caras Galadhon, and Haldir led me toward the heart of the city. It was deep in the evening, and the stars were bright.

Then suddenly, the lamp laden trees fell away, and before me was a wide swath of green. I recognized the grand mallorn at the south end of the lawn as the one of the lord and Lady. But I did not pay much attention to that mallorn at the moment. When last I had been there, I had been so caught up with worries about my life and identitiy that I had seen little of my surroudings. Now I took it all in with wonder.

A silver fountain tinkled serenely in the midst of the lawn, where many elves had gathered. Some were sitting, others stood. The soft sound of voices and snatches of music drifted past my ears. The lawn itself was green as emeralds caught in sunlight, and the majestic mellyrn risin on all sides bordered the splendour with silver and gold. From the fountain ran a thread white-silver waters, winding away from the lawn. All was bathed in a glowing mist of starlight.

I felt my breath catch at such beauty.

"Welcome" I heard Haldir say, "to the Lawn of Lórien."

We walked by the edge of the lawn, skirting most of the elves gathered there. Some haliled to Haldir in passing, but we did not join anyone until we came across a dark-haired elf. He sat in the shadow of a mallorn, away from the others, watching with silent eyes. His black hair was long and loose about his shoulders, dark against a light grey cloak. In his hands was a silver lyre, on which his fingers strummed softly.

"Talagan," Haldir said to alert him of our presence.

The dark-haired one, Talagan, looked up, and his hands stilled their playing. He smiled slightly.

"Haldir, good to see you my friend." His gaze flickered over me. "And this lady would be...?"

Haldir launched into introductions. "Lícuma this is Talagan, my friend and comrade in arms. He, actually, was the first who found you in the mountains. Talagan, this is Lícuma, you remember."

Talagan nodded to me with a kind smile. "Well met, Lícuma. It is my joy."

"I would say the same, my lord, " I replied politely.

Haldir set himself down beside his friend, and I knelt next to him, being careful with the gown Mori had lent me.

"How do you find Lothlórien, my lady?" Talagan asked.

"It is fairer than words can tell," I sighed. "Truly, I do not think such beauties are anywhere else."

"True, all too ture," said Haldir. "Though you have yet to hear the music of our home. 'He smiled. "Come Talagan, how the lady your skill with your lyre."

Talagan laughed. "I would not boast so, Haldir. What if she finds my playing to be less than satisfying?" But his smile was good-natured, and he brought forth his silver lyre and began to play. At first there were just scattered, light melodies, one following the other. Then a song came forth, with a clear voice and moving melody. I listened, enchated. Talagan's playing was truly talaneted, and his voice was sweet.

"Let me tell you this, wan'rers who roam
You have all lands, but I have a home.

I have a beauty that none other possess
A home of starlight, where I find rest.

In Lothlórien, the land of silver and gold,
More fair than any song has told.

Here my heart lies for evermore,
Even should I return to the last white shore.

My heart lives on in Lothlórien,
Though its gold should fade in the eyes of Men.

But in my heart my home is ever bright,

Forever shining in silver starlight.

For my heart lives on in Lothlórien,
Though to my home I should not return again.

Still fairer than dreams or thoughts of Men,
Is my homeland, golden Lothlórien."

There was much more, though I did not understand all of it for Talagan began to sing in the tongue of the High Elves of the Eldar Days, of which few still understood in Arda. But the music was sweet still, though it ran with a tone of sorrow.

As the last notes died away, there was a silence all throughout the lawn; everyone had grown silent to listen to the fair music of Talagan.

Finally, it was Talagan himself who spoke first. "Well," he said quietly. "It seems you have managed to make me the subject of attention once again, Haldir."

Haldir smiled. "Attention with only good intentions my friend."

"Indeed," a voice rang out. It was a silver-haired elf sitting somewhat close to us, relatively speaking compared to the others at the lawn. He smiled good-naturedly at Talagan. "You have a gift for music Talagan, will it really hurt you to let us hear you play and sing more often?"

"No, I suppose not." Talagan smiled. "Though I thank you for the kind words Master Cuedhel."

"It is nothing Talagan." Cuedhel nodded politely to Haldir and I, "Good day, Marchwarden Haldir, my lady. I must be going now." Then turned and left.

After some moments, the normal level of talk returned to the lawn. Talagan went back to strumming softly on his lyre.

Haldir stood. "I am afraid that I have duties to attend to as Marchwarden," he said apologetically to us. "Can you find your own way back to Mori's talan, Lícuma?"

I nodded.

"Then if you will pardon me, I must be going also." He nodded briefly to Talagan, then took off at a quick pace.

I stood also. "I fear I must also be going, my lord Talagan," I said quickly and softly.

He looked to me, his eyes were unreadable. He nodded. "I understand. It has been a pleasure, my lady."

"I would say the same, my lord." I dropped a slight curtsey and my steps were quick as I walked. It was acutely awkward to feel Talagan's gaze following me as I left.

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Ta-da! Chapter Four, sorry it took so long. Anyway, hope you liked it! Oh yeah, it was all in flashback format, Lícuma's thoughts while she's out.
And sorry about the dashes masquerading as breaks, something's wrong with QuickEdit at the moment...

A hearty 'thank you'to all my reviewers. You guys are awesome!