Guilt
Steph
Summary: Mia wasn't really angry at him, but at the same time she blamed him for it, what we didn't see between Joseph and Mia after the horse scene.
Thanks to Sitarra for the use of parts of her story Trials of Love, which if you haven't read you should it's great!
Joseph sighed as he found her sitting on a stool in the kitchen quietly over a carton of ice cream. He had lost the leather jacket, and had changed shirts, so that he looked a little more comfortable around her.
"I wanted to apologize for running…or riding away today," she whispered in a quiet voice. Joe was surprised by this, reached out he took the hand that held the spoon, he then gently turned her chin towards him and sighed.
"It is I who should be apologizing to you. Princess…Mia, my job is to protect you and your grandmother, you would be stupid if you did not see my feelings towards your grandmother, and for you, you have become a child to me. Today I tried to protect you, and not for the first time I did far more harm than I did good. I am sorry, I humiliated you in public."
"No Joe…no, you…it was what's his name. Joe you were just trying to protect me, I know that, and I don't blame you…I thought about it, but I'm not mad at you."
"You are a wise young girl…I sometimes wonder how you grew up so quickly."
"Thank you Joe, for always being there for Grandma and me."
"It's part of my job…"
"No, you go beyond your job, Grandma and I see it every day. You love her don't you?" Joseph looked at her, suddenly struck and smiled softly.
"I have loved your grandmother for…many years."
"Tell me?" Joseph smiled, not expecting to tell her such stories.
"I met your grandmother when she was nineteen, and just about to marry a man she…well she did not love him…It was Rupert…
They both stood, ready to leave. As soon as she began to walk away; however, a man coming from the side ran into her.
"Oh, my god! I'm so sorry! I'm in a big hurry and I wasn't looking. Please, forgive me," came the man, urgently apologizing.
She looked up into his face, immediately noticing the depth of his dark brown eyes. " No, that's perfectly fine. I must admit, I wasn't looking, either."
He still had hold of her arm, which he had grabbed to prevent her from toppling over. She had to admit, she liked the contact.
"May I be so bold as to ask you your name?" he asked, looking deep into her blue eyes.
She smiled, glad for him to know her name. " You may. Clarisse Gerard."
He moved his hand off of her arm only to move it to her hand, grasping it in his. He brought it to his lips, kissing it softly.
As his lips touched her hand, every part of her body came alive. Every nerve ending in her body sang, wanting to feel more of that glorious touch. To her dismay, his touch caused more reaction in her than Rupert's did.
"Well, Clarisse, it is my pleasure to meet you."
"May I ask you your name?" he still had hold of her hand, bringing it down in front of them.
He stepped closer to her, breathing in her scent, " You may. It's Joseph Calvera. And if I may ask, your father, he is in parliament, is he not?"
She smiled upon learning his name. " Yes. Why do you ask?"
"Because I was - am - hurrying to the palace where I'm working. It's important to know their names, makes you seem like you pay attention."
They laughed together, enjoying each others company. It was amazing to her how easy she had fallen under his spell, it seemed.
"Well then," she started," Maybe I'll see you there sometime. I'm going to be staying there for awhile, visiting," she explained at the questioning look on his face.
He smiled, wanting nothing more than to see her again. " Yes, hopefully I will."
A throat clearing itself behind them stopped them from saying anything else. Blake. He always had the worst timing.
"May I introduce my good friend, Blake Bernarde?"
Joseph finally let go of her hand, much to her disappointment, to shake the hand of Blake.
"Joseph Calvera. Nice to meet you," Joseph told him, eager to get back to Clarisse.
"Nice to meet you, too," was all Blake said, a bit of a disapproving look on his face.
Clarisse looked back at Blake, a look on her face that clearly said 'go away'. With an exasperated sigh, he left but not to far away, wanting to keep an eye on Joseph.
Slowly turning her gaze back to Joseph, she apologized to him, " I'm sorry. He's overprotective of me sometimes."
Joseph smiled, melting away her troubles with ease. "Not a problem. I would be overprotective too if I had a beautiful friend such as yourself. I have a feeling you break a lot of hearts."
She only smiled, not thinking of anything to say. He took her hand in his once more.
"I must go, I'm afraid. I have a feeling that I'm very, very late. Until I see you again, Clarisse," he bade her farewell, loving the sound of her name on his tongue.
"Until then, Joseph," she spoke the familiar words to him quietly, not wanting this moment to end.
He brought her hand up to his mouth, letting his lips linger there. He let go her hand reluctantly and backed away slowly. He wanted to memorize every detail of her face, from her piercing blue eyes to her golden hair and perfect features.
She was doing the same to him. She wanted to never forget him, to know every detail of his face. From the deep hue of his eyes to the thick brown hair he had.
Suddenly, he quickly turned and walked away, more afraid that another look at her and he would stay forever, and less in the fact that he was late for being at the palace.
"You mean you never told Grandma that you were her guard?"
"No, she was…well to say the least a little surprised when we met the second time…"
There's someone else I want you to meet. He will be your guard from now on, with you wherever you go." She motioned for however was outside the door to enter.
Clarisse's heart dropped as he entered the room. She never thought she'd meet him under these circumstances.
He could do nothing but stare at her, not wanting to believe that this was who she really was.
"Clarisse, this is Joseph Calvera, your new guard." The queen stared at the two, who remained rooted to their spots.
"Have you two, uh, met?"
Joseph was the first to snap out of it, answering the queen's question. "We met briefly this morning. That is the reason I was late, actually. I was not looking where I was going and accidentally ran into her."
The sharp intake of the queen's gasp broke Clarisse out of her thoughts. " I hope no one was hurt."
Clarisse finally found her voice," No, no. Everyone's fine."
The queen looked between the two. They were still gazing at each other, asking each other unspoken questions. Looking at them, the queen saw something between them. Love. Unknowingly, the queen began smiled. She had seen that look directed at her many a time from her husband.
Though, she realized what they were doing now was very wrong, she couldn't help but feel happy. She only hoped one of them put a stop to what they could one day possibly have.
Clearing her throat, Clarisse and Joseph tore their gaze from each other.
"Well," she started in a cheery tone," he will be outside your door if you need him. Thank you, Joseph. You may leave now."
He bowed and left the room, taking his position outside her door.
"Well, I must be going now, and I shall leave you to your unpacking." She walked to the door, Clarisse following."And my dear, I will ask that if you have any questions, please feel free to ask me."
Clarisse smiled, silently thanking she would be there to guide her. "Thank you, Your Majesty."
As the queen approached the door, she turned one last time to Clarisse," And my dear, some time soon, I'd like to have a talk with you about something. But until then, I'll see you at dinner. Five sharp. I'll be here before then to help you get ready."
With one last thank you from Clarisse, the queen left her alone again. Shutting the door, Clarisse went back to unpacking. As she began the task again, she looked towards the door.
Setting down the clothes she had in her hand, she slowly walked to the door. Hesitantly, she reached a hand out and opened the door.
"Joseph?"
"Yes, princess?" he replied, looking straight ahead, fighting every urge in his body to turn around.
"May I... speak with you later? After dinner?" she asked, opening the door only a little so as not to attract attention.
"Wow…you two…did you remain close?"
"We had a few rough spots here and there, but yes, we remained very close, sometimes a little too close…"
"Oh wow! You mean…"
"Yes…indeed we did…although you cannot tell anyone."
"Why did Grandma marry Rupert if she didn't really love him?"
"Why are you marrying Andrew if you don't love him?"
"Because….I don't know, I can't do this Joseph, I can't marry someone I don't love…"
"And you shouldn't, as much as you need to think about your country, you also need to think about what's good for you."
"Grandma did what was good for her country…"
"Mia, if your grandmother had followed her heart, you wouldn't be a queen, you probably wouldn't even be here, but I'm sure we would have had two beautiful children and an amazing life together."
"How do you know two…oh boy, please tell me I'm…"
"No, you are not my granddaughter…well not biologically although you are the granddaughter of my heart if you allow me to say such things."
"Joseph, you have been the greatest and I'm honored that you think of me as a granddaughter, because I know if I had a grandfather I'd want him to be just like you," she said gently. Joseph smiled, standing he moved over to her side, removed the carton of ice cream and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her cheek.
"I am so very proud of the young woman you have become," Mia smiled and hugged him back tightly.
"Thank you Joseph, I love you," she whispered. He smiled softly and nodded, leaning his forehead against the top of her head.
"I love you too my sweet Princess," he sighed as she remained in his arms, allowing some of her sorrows to leave her as she realized just how much she saw him as a grandfather in her heart.
"Thank you again Joe…" she smiled and move towards the door.
"One more thing Princess…" She turned, looking back at the man who had become so close and protective to her, "the man who really does love you…he's not a bad person, and I know many, especially your grandmother and I…would think no less of you if you changed your mind and wanted to marry him."
"Thanks Joe."
"Anything for you Mia…" He watched her go, his mind wandering back to all those years ago when he had met a girl very much like Mia. Another girl he loved, although in a very different way. Sighing he looked down at the ice cream Mia was eating and shook his head. He didn't know what he'd do with himself if Clarisse decided to say no to his proposal. With a final glance at the kitchen he made his way towards his own room.
The End