"Countdown T-50 seconds and counting" I put my visor down and make final checks that my suit and seat are on properly while the announcer continues with the count down procedures "rocket switching to internal power" so far nothing out of the ordinary.

This isn't my first time in this seat hearing these words. But that is to be expected in my line of work, ever since the orbital ring project began all those decades ago people like me who helped design it needed to get their hands dirty and help with the coordination and integration of the more complex and nuanced systems that such structures required.

If you were to tell me back in my college days that I'd be on my 6th mission working as a senior engineer for the newly announced international orbital ring, I'd probably pretty easily believe you since this was my life's goal ever since I first heard about it and I have been pursuing it ever since.

"Main Engine Ignition". Showtime.

Then like the 5 times before the familiar feeling of the 9 engines simultaneously firing at full pelt overwhelm much of my senses. It's not just the 3+g's of acceleration straight up, nor is it just the vibrations caused by the engines which are so rough that they would rip apart the launch tower if it wasn't for the acoustic suppression system on the pad.

No in cases like these the sum is much greater than the parts and the combined sensations of everything happening is something that is genuinely unforgettable even to the smallest detail.

This is why when the problems started, all 4 of us in the command capsule could instantly tell that something catastrophic happened. And everyone knew the procedures were.

"GROUND CONTROL WE NEED A …" Mia, one of the crew in the capsule immediately reaches for comms and tries to request a spotter on the ground to report if there is any damage, but stops halfway through after realizing nothing was transmitting. The comms were dead.

In this situation, it falls on me as the commander of this mission to make the call of what to do, and the expectant eyes of the 3 members of the crew wait for me for instructions.

Without a second thought, I immediately yell my last instruction of the mission as far as the mission Blackbox is concerned "BRACE!" and immediately pull the evacuation lever that lights the escape tower and separates us from the rocket and our 3g's of acceleration quickly turns to 11g's.

From the first moment of feeling the major malfunction of the rocket to the rockets of the escape tower igniting took 7 seconds. A respectable reaction time to resolve oneself to abandon a multi-hundred-million dollar rocket built by the combined efforts of over two dozen nations as a symbol of a new era of prosperity.

However 7 seconds, as it turns out, was still far too long.

Mere moments afterward the blinding light of the main fuselage bursting and subsequently igniting into what effectively is a thermobaric bomb with tens of thousands of kilograms of oxidizer and fuel.

And a particularly large segment of the fuselage was planning on making this bad situation worse.

Propelled by the explosion of the rocket the huge sheet of heated aluminum and carbon fiber viciously slammed into the capsule tearing apart the viewing port and control panel that was directly in front of us; smashing Mia on the way and severely injuring the right half of my body.

Not that I particularly noticed my injury mind you. At this time I wouldn't be surprised if there was more adrenaline in my bloodstream than actual blood. What concerns me the most was that the section of the capsule and the tower that was destroyed from the collision also held 2 of the 3 drogue chutes as well as the main parachute.

It is surreal in a way. This moment in my life feels like it going in slow motion and a million miles a minute at the same time, feeling both incredible amounts of pain and none at all, and both being completely awake with my senses working overtime and feeling numb, tired like I can fall asleep at any moment.

From that moment on things come and god, between blinks but with each blink I awaken tens of seconds afterward, fading in and out of consciousness as our capsule violently spins end over end, like a coin flipped into the air. The 1 drogue chute that does survive only gets tangled up as soon as it deploys further worsening the spin of the capsule, not that it was capable of helping to slow down the vessel even if it did deploy correctly, being that it will would do so in its lonesome, trying to stop a craft that was designed to need a much larger canopy to safely come back down.

In the end, the trip ends with a violent splash at god knows what speed into the ocean, my capsule's now looking much more like the coin it was so enthusiastically imitating on its tumbledown here.

It is so strange, I very clearly saw us impacting the ocean, but I am still thinking about it. I suppose there is nothing wrong with thinking about that event particularly, the strange part is that I am thinking at all.

Is this what it feels like to be comatose? To be dead?

No, of course I am not dead, how could I be? I simply am; I don't mean to brag or anything but I once went over 20 years straight of not being dead, I know damn well what not being dead is like and this is.. Almost like it. Not exactly like that. But it is damn well close.

As I lose myself to thinking I realize more and more just how strange everything is, I haven't lost any senses but they feel a bit, off, like I'm floating on the surface of water in a dark room, but I still have sight, I know because I am seeing. I am not sure what but I certainly am seeing something.

"What is that" I wonder, is that - is that me?

I didn't realize it at first or perhaps it is because I was still in shock but right before me, is me, well at least a younger me, still so ignorant just going along his day, just as a child of his age would do.

"Wait, I remember this, doesn't- ?" Before I can finish my sentence my prediction of what happens comes true before I even say it.

"Tag! Your it!". "What? Were we even playing? Wait no fair! Come back here!" Then the little me casts off his backpack and tries climbing up the jungle gym as fast as I could to get back at the little boy who first tagged me.

I laugh and scoff at the same time, it is the only reaction I can muster against the surrealness of it all. "These are my memories" I say; not to anyone in particular but there are so many thoughts going through my mind that I feel like the only way to have more is to voice them out loud instead of in my internal monologue.

Then suddenly the scene of playing children and fond memories shift and more play out just like the last, each time with me getting slightly older, but the sheer quantity of events I have been in amaze me, I must have been here for days, or weeks, probably longer.

"It's like my life flashing before. My. eyes." I say the first thing that comes to mind but halfway through I realize the implications of such words and each word afterward comes out slower than the last. "I really have died haven't I".

I feel a tinge of sadness, regret, that I have had too much-unfinished business that I left behind, ambitions that I never fulfilled. It was such a crippling feeling, my depression just filled and filled until it spilled over into pure apathy, I just felt wasted, I had better things to do than die in some shitty half-baked rocket dammit. But here I am anyway. At the end.

I waited.

And I waited.

And I watched.

And I got to see my life through another lens. And I saw what I lived for, what Drove me, how I lived, and how I fit into the lives of everyone around me. I also got to sit through my entire college education again, which was rather eye-opening since this time I probably learned more than my first time around since I had context and zero stress from deadlines.

Overall an interesting experience, getting both of my PHDs while having zero stress. I guess I finally accepted that this is my death.

In what seems like years I have finally returned to the critical moment. Launch day.

It has been several years since I last saw this rocket, I would like to say that it brought back memories and that I was anxious about witnessing my own death. But the truth is, I have long since accepted what happened and moved on, at least psychologically.

I lived through it the first time, and witnessing from afar a second time was unimpressive. The greatest worry I had was what will happen after I witnessed my life this time? Would I finally be judged? Will I just fade into nothing, experiencing the same thing I did before I was born? Well, whatever the case I am about to find out soon.

Everything fades and for a few moments I begin thinking that I will just return to nothing. But then suddenly I see something. A baby? Is this my next life perhaps? A Reincarnatio- wait. No, those are my parents in the hospital room. That baby is me again.

Looks like I'm going for another spin.

"Man, all I need is some popcorn" I say sarcastically. "What am I even reading anyways?"

Going to take a closer look I find my younger self completely taken by an older novel, called overlord. "Wow, Overlord now brings back some memories that are nostalgic".

And before I know it I am looking over the younger me's shoulder reading along with him as more and more time passes by and I get deeper in a feeling of nostalgia and a revitalized appreciation of this series I have spent so much of my teenage years reading.

"Man, I wish I could live in the overlord world" I say offhandedly.

"Granted, you have 2 more" and as quickly as the voice came, it disappeared.