"Botan… he's happy, right?" Jin asked quietly, staring at his hands, which were cupped in his lap.
"Yes… he his. He and Yusuke really love each other. Yusuke won't let anything happen to him." Botan answered, almost as softly. She let a reassuring hand rest on Jin's shoulder.
Jin nodded. "I thought so. I'm… I'm glad… I'm glad he has Yusuke." Jin felt tears stinging his eyes; sobs that wouldn't yet be allowed to break punctuated his words. "Better'n me. Botan?"
Botan looked as Jin glanced up to catch her eye briefly, as quickly bowing his head again. "Yes?"
"What can I do… ta' get their CD? Ta' pay off fer it, I mean." Jin asked, hesitantly.
Botan sighed, despondent for Jin. "I'll get you a copy for free, Jin. And a CD player, too." Botan knew better by now than to say she was sorry for what happened. Jin didn't want pity. He didn't believe he deserved it.
"Thanks, Botan. Yer too kind. All ye are." Jin said, sighing.
"Here, I can get them both for you right now, if you want?" Botan said. She could give him her copy; she could get another later. Same for the CD player.
"Could ye?" Jin asked, looking up. Botan nodded and got up, returning moment's later with a CD player and headphones in hand. The CD was already in the player. She showed Jin how to work the CD player, and left, as he put on the headphones to drown in misery, listening to Touya's voice singing.
Singing his hate for him, his love for Yusuke, his happiness with his new life and discontent at his old one. And the cover art was almost the same as what Hanaka had shown him so long ago. But Yusuke had insisted it be redone. Everything was the same… except the black marks on Yusuke and Touya's necks. Just another confirmation. Tears flamed at Jin's face, looking at the latest proof that Touya would never be his. He had stopped crying. The tears were back. He put the picture over small table where he kept his incense and candles, using his wind to keep it in place.
"Damn it, Touya! What'm I s'posed ta do? If ye were here with me, ye could say; ye were always right; ye'd know what I could do. But yer not here, and ye won' be. I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! What do I do, Touya? What do I do…?" He begged the picture. But Yusuke only smiled at him, as though mocking, and Touya only stared on, not acknowledging him even. Jin fell to his knees in front of his 'shrine', wishing he had never existed. "Oh Touya, what am I s'posed ta do? I'm nothin' without ye. I don' r'member how I ever lived without ye…what am I s'posed ta do? Won' ye tell me? Can't ye write it into one o' yer songs what I should do? Please, tell me what ta do, Touya…Please…?" He fell, silent, to tears.