Rated R: Violence & sex

My Darling Love

Chapter 9 – Mary In Her Place

"Many commit the same crimes with a very different result.

One bears a cross for his crime, another a crown."

-Decimus Junius Juvenal

Mary gave birth on the sunniest day in May. The baby, eager to be born, gave Mary no trouble at all. She began her labor at sunset, and it went on through the night with the constant repetition of telling George, "It really doesn't hurt that bad, please stop worrying." Mary did not lie; it was quite easy and required only three good pushes to bring him out. Even the midwife who delivered him commented on his favorable attitude, as he was bathed and wrapped in a blanket, "Never before saw a baby not screaming and shouting to be put back in their mother once their naked bums hit the air."

They named their first son John, Mary's favorite, since she was quite insistent that he must be given that name. Thus, George saved his favorite, Michael, for the next son, which Mary demanded they have right away. "Well, dearest, we only just had a baby an hour ago, maybe we should wait a little before we start on the next."

John was more eager to see the world than Wendy had been. He came out the correct way and as soon as he was cleaned up, he attached to Mary's breast to have breakfast. Wendy was in awe of her new brother. Just as much as Mary had pleaded with George to have another right away, so Wendy cried and pouted for another baby as well.

In time, with the work that came with a toddler and a newborn, Mary agreed to wait, but Wendy was steadfast in her desire. She went so far as to beg her Grandpa Joe to command her father and mother make another baby. She wanted a little sister, preferably, and on the double. Her grandfather laughed wholeheartedly and told her, "Even if your mother and father were to make another baby, it would be many months before it arrived, and there is no guarantee that it would not be another boy instead of a little sister, you know."

Wendy didn't want to wait many months, and she absolutely did not want another brother, so George bought her a baby doll of her own to pretend with.

Their two children were unplanned and unexpected, "an accident" as his mother once called George. But now, to the senior Mrs. Darling, Wendy and John were "mistakes for lack of better judgment." She educated Mary in the correct way to prevent another pregnancy, "the method your friend taught you leaves too much room for error, my way is much better and my proof is simply all my sons were conceived for the deliberate purpose of being born." Mary followed her lessons to perfection, looking to her calendar and counting the days of the month from her last monthly. She informed George when they could and when they could not make love, with no exceptions. "I'm sorry, George, we will have to wait till the seventeenth of this month and not a day sooner, and only can we again maybe on the twenty seventh, but then only just once."

Impressed that she took the matter so seriously, he too kept track of nights that were "safe" and nights when "there was a chance," by marking them in his calendar at work. The nights he was certain to sleep with his pajamas on were marked off with a simple black slash, the nights were he was assured he would awake in the morning with a smile, were circled in red.

But alas, after only a few months of following the schedule which Grandma Josephine prescribed ("the nights when there is a chance of conception, you must in no way, shape or form, allow George to even touch you,") Mary and George decided on another method. Looking at the days before making love, they found those nights when there was "a chance" always outnumbered those that were "safe" by tenfold. "I have not been able to touch you in over two weeks, Mary," George wailed, "and it was three weeks before that, and now you tell me I am to wait another two weeks and a half? I'm sorry, Mary, but one time once a month is unacceptable."

Loving to take pleasure in their marriage, and not wanting to always check the calendar or stay away from each other, George would exercise restraint and remove himself from Mary before he reached climax. "We will try it my way, as my father told me long ago this is also a reliable method." This was much easier in theory than in practice, for George found it very difficult at that crucial moment when all he wanted to do was thrust into his wife harder, to gather the strength and self-control to remove himself and finish by hand. But George was a strong man and did what he had to do to continue enjoying Mary whenever he wanted. She was not without her appreciation for his hard efforts and soon she did the handy work, rubbing him to completion, as his reward.

What they did together in the privacy of their bedchamber was just that -- private. Therefore, from the moment they moved back in with Mr. Baker, they both set down one rule that would remain solid and unforgivably unbreakable throughout their entire marriage that applied to all living in their house. "No one is to ever enter into our bedchamber. When the door is shut, you must knock and wait for us to answer, and once we allow you to open the door to speak with us, you will still remain only in the entranceway and never enter. If we are not in the room, we expect the same privacy."

George never bragged to the gentlemen in the office of the lustful and sexy lover his wife was. And Mary never told even her best friend Penny that George was well endowed and had amazing stamina. Nor did they discuss their love life with each other. The silence they maintained when they were first engaged dissolved in their daily routine, but remained constant in their passion. Always affectionate to her children, Mary held her hugs and kisses for George away from prying eyes and gossip. He thought that it best, not wanting to share Mary 's ardor with anyone, not even his children. They placed a makeshift curtain in their room to separate Wendy and baby John from them, and once alone, with their children asleep, she could be his and only his and she was. And so, George never chased after Mary in the daylight or evening when the house was alive with laughter and chaos. His pursuit came in the calm of night, with shades closed and the lights off.

John Darling was like his father, not only in looks as an infant, but also in appetite, thus, making him a very hungry baby. Wendy had been content feeding from the breast for an entire year before Mary weaned her to soft foods. As unlike as the two births were, while babies, the children's differences continued. John had to be fed oatmeal and porridge to keep his hunger satisfied. Wendy was nearly one before she got her first tooth, John had four in his mouth when only six months old. Soon, he would not take Mary's breast even for comfort. Wendy took her first steps at nine months, and was impatient to run about and wreak havoc. John was more content to sit in his high chair and watch everything going on around him, usually gnawing at bread crusts and drooling. Wendy was a long, thin baby while John was short and chubby. Wendy had smiled the day she was born, happy, it seemed, that George and Mary did not leave her at the church mission. John was more serious, and held George's expression in rapt interest at the goings on in the Darling residence, watching his sister dance around the kitchen in an attempt to tease him into a smile that rarely came.

When John was a year old, George asked Mary if she wanted another baby, remembering her desire for one and feeling ready to be a father to yet another child. After dinner, while she washed the supper plates and he sat at the kitchen table reading his paper he remarked, "I have checked the finances and I am certain we could afford another. If you'd like I could stop, well, you know, dearest, tonight."

Mary nodded her head, but did not smile. She turned to him, wiping her hands on her apron and then sat down next to him, touching his arm gently. "I don't want another baby, George, two is fine." Mary always said George knew best, and in return, he felt the same about her. Although he was eager to make love to her without restraint, the way he preferred best, he believed she must have her reasons and nodded his understanding of her request. Not another word was said and he returned to his paper and her to her dishes.

Later in the evening, after they retired and lay in bed with both their children asleep in another bed next to them, he could not shake his curiosity to her reasons and so he asked her why. "There are too many people living in this house," she said. "We do not even have the luxury of our own room."

Not that they ever had when first married, but just the same, the house in which they now resided was larger, with three bedrooms. Grandpa Joe sold the property to George when he retired and sold his business as well and now it was theirs to do with as they pleased. The largest was the master bedroom; they allowed her father to stay in having spent his many years in that room as the man of the house. Theirs was half that size, Mary's old bedroom, and the guest room that George's mother stayed in was even smaller.

They of course opened their home to Grandpa Joe and Grandma Josephine out of the kindness of their hearts. They would not even think about asking their parents to leave and find a home elsewhere. "Really, George, where would my father go? We are his only family. Your brothers want nothing to do with your mother, so we are stuck with her as well. There just isn't anything more to think about."

But there was. They would think about the third baby they both wanted, but could not have.

Wendy, now three, and John one, played together as children of that age do. Mostly Wendy would play peek-a-boo with her baby brother. He was unimpressed with her game. He sat on a blanket in the park too stubborn or too lazy to walk. It was one or the other, neither Mary nor Wendy could figure out which one. "Maybe his legs don't work, Mommy," Wendy offered, only making Mary more concerned, causing her to hold him up by his arms and encourage him to stand, to check his ability to support his own weight. When he did, Mary would let go, and John, content to sit, dropped to his bum and stayed there.

When Wendy was tired of trying to get her staid brother to smile and giggle, she would beg Mary to tell her stories. "There once was prince who fell in love with a beautiful maiden in the highest tower of a castle," Mary would begin.

"Give them names, Mommy," Wendy would demand, for Grandpa Joe and Grandma Josephine would always give their characters names and therefore Mary did as well. "The prince was named Michael and the maiden's name was Katherine. And every day, Michael would go see Katherine in the tower." Mary's stories always had a happy ending and hers, too, ended with a kiss, "He kissed the princess and broke the spell of the evil fairy." And just to make sure that nothing would happen after they sailed into the sunset, Mary ended them with, "And they all lived happily ever after."

One day in particular, they were not alone in the park. With them came Penny and her daughter Margaret, who played with Wendy while John napped. Penny was expecting again, and due in August. Since she had always been Mary's best friend and helped her through her most desperate times, and was now in need herself, Mary hoarded the grocery money George gave her and slipped it to Penny.

"Mary, you shouldn't, if George found out, he would angry with you."

Mary insisted, reassuring Penny, "George will never know, it's only a few pennies here and there and we won't even miss it." But George did miss it, as he checked her receipts and the books of the house and found a considerable amount amiss. A week later, fearing they'd been robbed, but with enough sense to ask his wife before calling the constable, George confronted Mary.

"Penny and her husband are having trouble financially, and since they were always so compassionate where we were concerned, I didn't see the harm in helping them out." George saw the harm. He saw Penny and her husband taking food from his table and clothes from his children's backs. More troubling than that, he saw his wife, his darling love, a thief. Instead of asking his opinion on the matter, and removing money from their savings with his permission, she went behind his back and stole grocery funds. She deliberately attempted to fudge the books to hide her "crime" and then lied about the cost of milk and bread.

George was infuriated and told her so, "Mary, how could you do such a thing? You are not to give Penny any more money without asking first." George felt that in order to prove how serious his words were, something needed to be done, but being a kind soul was unsure of how to handle such a situation. The children were always well behaved, so he never had to discipline them. He would if he had to, but cringed at the thought of spanking their little bottoms. He was sure of one thing, Mary needed to be punished. Unable to concoct a better plan of action, he sent her to their room without supper.

It was more a punishment for him than his wife, for he now had to feed the children, bath the children and put them to bed. His relaxing time with the paper at the kitchen table was replaced with dirty dinner dishes in the sink that needed washing. As he worked with Mary's apron on and his sleeves rolled up, his mother, Grandma Josephine (or 'Mrs. Darling,' as she made Mary call her) took his place at the table. George mumbled under his breath, "I simply cannot believe she would do a thing like that, and to think I wouldn't discover her deception..."

His mother listened and nodded her head in silence before offering her opinion on the matter. "Hit her, George," was all she said.

"I beg your pardon?" George turned on his heel to face his mother.

"Mary's problem is that you have never put her in her place. You must be respected in your own home. Your children do not fear you, they don't even like you. Mary controls you with all the moaning and groaning you do in your bed at night when you think no one can hear you and everyone is asleep. You need to put her in her place, slap her when she deserves it, George, that is your right as her husband and provider."

His eyes were wide and full of disbelief. "I will do no such thing!" he shouted, before fixing his apron and returning to his dishes.

"Everyone feared your father, everyone gave him respect. He demanded it, from his children and me, especially. Once in a while, I would forget my place in his house and he would give me a good smack to remind me. George, women need to be reminded of their place. If you hit Mary, she will never steal from you again. She will be subservient and will teach your children to do the same. She cares not for your orders, she lets the children run wild like animals and fills their heads with stories of adventures and magic. They must be raised properly, and until you show Mary who is boss, that will never happen. I was stubborn and thick headed, your father had to hit me plenty of times before I learned. Mary seems more willing to make you happy. I'm sure you'd only have to hit her once -- no, once and she'll forget. Twice, hit her twice and she'll learn, and if you do it hard enough, that will be the only time you have to do it."

He listened to his mother, as he always did, even if he acted like the words bounced off his back. He went to bed without saying a word to Mary, who again apologized for her misdeeds. "George, I swear, I had only the best intentions in heart.

He was off to work the next day without a word.

Mary took Wendy and John to the park the next day as well. It was an overcast day. Penny and her husband were short on their rent, even after Mary gave them a considerable amount to help make ends meet. At lunchtime, she stopped home and took a few cents from the children's piggy bank, not enough, but some to get her best friend a little closer to her arrears.

Grandma Josephine saw her open the bank and remove a few coins, and she reported this to George the moment he walked in the door from work. "You have a common criminal living in your house, my son, your wife. She sneaked in when she thought no one was home and tiptoed up the stairs into your room and emptied the children's piggy bank, looking about just to make sure she wouldn't be caught." Mary had not sneaked into her house; as a matter of fact, she announced she had come home, "I'm home for just a minute, I need to get something from my room." She had strolled up the stairs to her room, and left the door open, borrowing six tuppences from her children in plain sight that she would put back later when George gave Mary her own private weekly allowance for her "womanly things." Those were the details that Mrs. Darling left out.

Mary and the children walked quickly back home in the pouring rain after being out all day. Wendy danced about completely wet. John had finally taken his first steps that very day and was quite ambitious, attempting to chase after Wendy as she went. George watched from the window, while they ran up the walk drenched to the bone in the July shower.

Mary entered behind the children, "Father, could you take the children upstairs to change clothes while I begin supper?" The children ascended the stairs, being followed by Grandpa Joe, and were soon out of sight. Mary removed her cloak and hat and smiled lovingly at George, "I'm sorry we are so late, we stopped by the cemetery to leave flowers at my mother's grave and then the rains came. I'll have dinner on the table by the time--"

Without warning, still in mid-sentence, as she was about to head to the kitchen to make his supper, George raised his hand to her and slapped her across the face. Shocked and disoriented by the unexpected attack and jolt of pain, she ran to him, her husband, for protection. Mary hadn't been hit since she came home pregnant and unwed after running away from her marriage to the bigger fish. Her enraged father never even considered hitting her until that moment, he himself stunned at the time by her admissions. But George's slap was premeditated, he planned to hit her from the moment his mother told him of her repeated thievery. "Stealing from the children!" he shouted and again his hand came down on her. Stunned and unsettled that it was her husband whose hand met her cheek in anger -- twice -- after swearing to her he never would, she got ill on the rug. George followed suit, and threw up on himself.

Before George could mutter another word or accusation, Mary fled up the stairs. She pushed her father out of the way and ran into her room. Grandpa Joe was dumbfounded at her unintentional assault and called after her, "Mary Elizabeth?" He had been doing as he was asked and removed the children's rain soaked clothes. Attempting to change John's diaper, stripping the infant completely naked, he realized he had no idea how refasten him in a diaper. Thus, he left the children to fetch their mother for assistance as Mary ran into him head on almost knocking him to the ground. Mary entered the room to find John running about peeing all over the floor with Wendy chasing after him wearing only her bloomers, instructing him to use the chamber pot instead the floor for his toilet. Mary slammed the door shut, scaring the children to hysterical tears at her expression, and locked herself and the children inside.

"Now she knows her place in your house," Grandma Josephine said, and patted George on the back as he knelt down to catch his breath, hearing the frightened crying of his children upstairs. He had thought that beating Mary would make him feel powerful, mighty. He could not have been more wrong. He slowly ascended the staircase to their room and gently tapped on the door.

No one answered, for Mary clutched her two children in her arms and covered their mouths with her hands. "Go away," she whispered loud enough to for him to hear and George slumped against the door, staying there all night.

In the morning, he went to work reeking of vomit. He had not been able to get fresh clothes, and the looks of disgust from his co-workers as they glared at his stench was the beginning of his long and lengthy punishment, punishment for hurting Mary, the woman that God had entrusted to him, to be his wife and the mother of his children.

With George gone from the house, Mary dressed herself and the children and left the house without leaving a note to their whereabouts. She didn't want Wendy to be afraid, so she told her they were playing a game of hide-and-go-seek and daddy was "it." They spent the morning and afternoon walking the streets and as the evening came they went to visit with Penny and her family. They ate supper there, and Wendy and John were put to bed alongside their friend, Margaret, Penny's daughter.

Grandpa Joe was forced to spend his entire day alone with the woman he despised most in the world, Grandma Josephine. "Why would you tell your son to hit my daughter? And don't lie and say it's because Mary deserved it."

Mrs. Darling was busy as she always was, doing nothing, and only retorted, "I have my reasons. George is my favorite son and I will not have him be stuck with a witch for a wife. If he had any good sense in his head, he would throw her and you out. Now that I think about it, the streets are where you both belong. Don't speak to me again Joseph, I am not your wife!"

Grandpa Joe was thankful for that, and for now, he said nothing further.

Penny and Mary stayed up late into the evening chatting about nonsense to keep Mary's mind away from the bruise that had developed on her cheek. With her husband out for the night down at the pub, and the children fast asleep, Penny and Mary talked more intimately about what had transpired. "He hit me, Penny. Twice.," was all Mary could manage.

To that all Penny could offer was, "I know he didn't mean to. George would never mean to hurt you. I bet you my bloomers it was his awful mother."

But he had meant it, and Mary knew it, and as much as she was suffering, her George, alone at home with his mother (who was finally cheerful) and his father-in-law (who was appalled at George's behavior) suffered too. He came home from work to find no supper, no children laughing and no Mary. He watched from the window as he had the day before, waiting to see them walking up the street to their house. It was well past midnight, and he still held within him the nervous anticipation that at any moment, he would see Wendy skipping towards him with his lovely and beautiful wife, carrying their son, following closely after.

"John will be asleep by now, so Mary will have to carry him. That's why they are so late," George explained to Grandpa Joe as he sat in his favorite chair and lit his pipe.

"They will not be home tonight, George. Probably at Penny's," Grandpa Joe offered, watching his son-in-law staring intently out the window into the darkness outside.

George was steadfast and responded, "No, they are coming. It will be any minute now." George checked his pocket watch against the clock on the wall, and returned his eyes to the street outside, empty of his wife and children. "Wendy is probably sleeping, too, so Mary will have to carry both children. She's probably resting just up the block. I should go and help her, yes, I'll help her." George went to the coat rack and put on his coat and hat.

Grandpa Joe did not move from his seat only calling after George to get his attention. "She is not coming home tonight, George. Don't waste your time or strength wandering the streets of London looking for her."

George did his best to hide his tears and he choked on his words as he opened the front door. "No, she is coming. She took her bag with her, and that and the two children is a lot to carry. I must go find her and help her." Mary had not taken her dainty purse; she took a large carpetbag, packing it with a week's worth of clothes for her and the children.

George saw the empty drawers and hangers when he changed before dinner. He knew as well as Grandpa Joe that Mary wasn't coming home that night. It was the fear that she would never come home any night after that which sent him toward the street, intent on searching for her.

Just as he made his way out the door, Grandpa Joe spoke, "You know, George, I used to hit Mary's mother." George froze in his tracks and listened, too humiliated with his own behavior to face her father.

"From the moment I met Elizabeth, to the time we were first married and even when Mary was a baby, my wife was full of life. Everything made her giggle and she found splendor and magic in all things. Her only flaw was, at least in my eyes, she was very outspoken, and would tell me she was my equal and that marriage was a partnership. I see now that she was right, but at the time... I made the money and paid the bills and put food on the table, and I thought the only thing she had to do was sit back and reap the benefits of my labor. So every once in a while, 'to put her in her place' as your mother called it, I would hit her and yell at her. I'd call her names and degrade her and then I would hit her to teach her I was better then she was. I would tell her I was more valuable in life than she could ever be. Oh, the things I said and did to that poor woman, God forgive me, I didn't mean any of it. All too soon all that life, and all the smiles and the splendor and magic of everything were drained from her, and she became the silent statue that only spoke when spoken to. And at the times when I needed her guidance the most, the times when I wanted her to be outspoken and tell me I was wrong, she left me to my own bad judgment without a fight, for the fear of my fist and harsh tongue made her that way."

Now Grandpa Joe got up and walked over to his son-in-law that he never liked but respected. "Mrs. Baker liked you, George, because she knew you would not treat Mary the way I treated her. She saw all that she was when she was her age in her daughter. But instead of marrying someone like her father, Mary chose someone like you. If she still had a voice, George, Mrs. Baker would have defended Mary from me, but she didn't, and you know what happened next. Don't hit Mary, George; don't rob her of that life, that splendor, that magic. Don't take from her the laughter and the love she has for you. Don't make her hold her tongue for fear of a reprimand, of your hand. Let your hands be a place of love for Mary. You are stronger than her in body, you don't need to prove that to her or yourself. Don't change the silence that you have with one another from adoration to apprehension and dread. You are a completely different person to her now, but only for today. Go to her tomorrow, bring her home, bring your children home, and spend the rest of your life proving to her that yesterday was the only day in her life that you would ever do anything to intentionally steal from her the dreams she hides within her heart."

George went to bed without taking to the streets. He slept on the cold floor with only one pillow and no blankets. He held the one pillow to his chest and pretended it was Mary in his arms. Mary, on a sofa on the other side of the city, slept clutching her pillow too, dreaming it was George. Wendy dreamed about where they would hide from daddy next, John dreamed of hot oatmeal and fresh juice. Grandpa Joe said a prayer that Mary would forgive George and come home. And Grandma Josephine smiled in her slumber feeling Mary finally got what she deserved for stealing her fourth son, her personal favorite, like the thief she was.