Rated R – Sexual Content
My Darling Love
Chapter 10 – Punishment of the Faux Pas
"Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking together in the same direction."
-Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Luckily for George, tomorrow was Saturday, and as soon as the dawn met the horizon he was dressed and left the house. He hailed a cab and took it to Penny's. Seeing the house still dark inside, he peeped through the window. Unluckily, a constable was on patrol and saw him peering in. Thinking he was a burglar -- or worse, a peeping Tom -- he apprehended him, quite loudly, not only waking the neighbors but also Mary, asleep on the sofa just inside the front window. She ran outside in her nightgown and robe without her slippers, and seeing her husband detained, went to his rescue. "He is my husband. I asked him to stop by first thing in the morning and pick up me and our children," she dissembled as she held tightly to George's waist. Seeing the welt on her cheek and the shame in her husband's face (George himself now seeing it for the first time), the policeman released him without another word.
As he was set free, Mary still clutching to him tightly, she kissed him repeatedly, knocking his glasses askew. Surprised by her gesture (and relieved she was not frightened of him), he embraced her and kissed her back just as vigorously. They swore their mutual regret on their lives and the lives of their children, and that whatever happened would never happen again. "Should you forgive my actions against you this easily, Mary? Should I not be punished more?" George asked her as she still showered kisses now not only on his lips but also his on face and neck.
"I love you George, I love you so much, if you say it will never happen again, I will believe you," she replied breathlessly.
"It will never happen again Mary."
She believed him. "Are you still angry with me? Please don't be angry, George," she pleaded. He, of course, was not angry, only relieved, and they continued to bombard each other with affection in public, with all the neighbors watching.
Mary and George packed the children, still asleep, and their things and carried them home. Once safely tucked in their beds, the couple went to the kitchen and talked over their quarrel, reaching the permanent and non-negotiable conditions that: George would never again strike Mary for any reason, and Mary would never make a decision without discussing it first with George.
"We should be partners," George declared, "equals in our marriage. I will always talk over everything with you before I make a decision, because I value your opinion and your good judgment. All I ask is for the same consideration. When you do something like steal money from the household expenses, it makes me feel like you are devious, and don't respect me. It makes me think you are doing other things behind my back. It makes me wary that there are other deceptions I am unaware of. I don't want to be suspicious of my own wife on such matters, and I don't feel as though I should have to strike you to teach you to respect me. My father struck my mother on many occasions, and it did not teach her respect. It merely taught her to be wilier in her misdeeds. There is no need to hide anything from me. If you just told me what troubles Penny was having, I might be able to help more than just throwing money at her," George told Mary over his tea.
"I do respect you, George, and there is nothing else I am doing behind your back. But I won't respect you if you ever hit me again. I never thought of us as partners and equals, but to know you think of us that way, well, there are just no words to describe how happy that makes me. I don't want you to be suspicious of me, and the last thing I want is to lose your trust. I didn't ask for the money because I didn't want to bother you about it, and I didn't think you would mind. But you are correct; I should have spoken with you first. As I think on it now, I can't even think of a good reason for hiding it from you, except that Penny and her husband are not getting along, as they should. I was worried that you might loan money to him, and he would use it for other things such as gambling and drinking as opposed to where it needs to go. Penny is having a very hard time right now; I just wanted to ease her suffering a little. I am sorry, it will never happen again, please forgive me."
Mary gazed at George over her tea. She was sorry, and, indeed, it never did happen again. George forgave her. From that moment on, whenever the thought of hoarding money away from George came back into mind, Mary would get sick to her stomach.
"I love you, Mary, more than myself, more than our children. Everything I do is for you. I am sorry that I hit you. That was bad advice from my mother, and I should have known better. I promise it will never happen again. You must please forgive me." He was sorry and she forgave him. From that moment on, whenever the thought of Mary and the children not spending a night at home safely in their beds where they should be, George would feel ill.
They sealed their sacred vows quickly on the sofa in their formal parlor before the house awoke. Their passion exchanged with both still dressed in their clothes, unfastened zipper and undergarments shifted out of way was hidden by Mary sitting with her legs spread and George moving quickly between them whispering, "Do you think its all right if I just..." He did anyway, and it was all right for Mary's monthly began that afternoon.
When Grandma Josephine descended the stairs to breakfast, Mary's hair, mussed and untidy, and George's pants and shirt, wrinkled and disheveled, were the only proof she needed that her son and his wife had made up. The smile on George's face and the grin on Mary's as they gazed at one another over eggs and bacon were the evidence Grandpa Joe wanted to see. So there it was. "To be young lovers in love..." Grandpa Joe said to Mrs. Darling as her expression of victory faded to a grimace of defeat.
The children were sad that the game "hide and go seek" was over, but were happy again when Mary told them she would play it with them later. On Sunday, the family went to church. There, just to make sure it never happened again and that God forgave their sins as well, both George and Mary went to confession and did their penance. With the events of the day behind them, they forgave each other, but never forgot. They kept it in mind to remember how easy it was to hurt the other.
Grandpa Joe forgave George and began to like him, not only respect him. He watched how uncomfortable George was around the children when they played in their imaginary world and it made him chuckle. "Something about a man that age that makes it impossible to relate to those innocent creatures," he would tell his daughter. "Had the same problem myself with you."
Grandma Josephine held her tongue and forgave no one, especially Mary.
By September, Mary's best friend Penny was two weeks overdue and bedridden. When her labor finally began, it was worse than the time Mary had Wendy. In the middle of the night, Penny's husband came calling at the Darling Residence and woke the house asking for Mary to help. "She's been asking for you Mary, actually, she's been begging," he told her as George helped her with her coat and hat. "She's doing real bad, never seen nothing before it in my life, and I'm the oldest of seven."
Her husband did not exaggerate; Penny was doing very poorly; she was pale and could not keep her breath. The pain of contractions that normally subsided and gave a moment's rest was constant. She screamed in agony, now running a dangerously high fever, sweating so profusely she soaked the bed sheets. Mary sat with her all night and into the morning, cooling her best friend with damp cloth, and praying for God's mercy on her rosary.
George dropped the children to her on his way to work and they were told by their father with a finger to each child's nose to "sit quietly with Margaret, don't make even peep not even to call for your mother." All day. A very difficult request for a three-year-old and one-year-old to comprehend, but they tried their best.
They sat on the sofa with Penny's daughter and listened to the moaning and crying out in the other room. The midwife arrived, and Mary paid her in advance, as Penny's debts were well known around the seedy section of London, and the midwife would not deliver the baby without being paid first. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Darling, I will extend that woman no credit, her husband hasn't even paid me for the last baby of hers I delivered."
Mary sent for Grandpa Joe, who came later in the morning to help with the children. She sent word to George, and he removed the funds from their savings, dispatching with it a note to Mary telling her how much he loved her and hoped her friend was well.
But in spite of Mary's prayers and tender ministrations, Penny began bleeding, and by nightfall there was nothing that could be done for her or her baby. She died that night with her baby still inside of her. The undertaker that George had worked for when he and Mary were first married came and removed the body. "She'll be buried in potter's field if no one can pay the bill. I'm sorry, Mrs. Darling," he said holding his hat as his assistant carried Penny out wrapped in the sheet she died in.
Mary sat alone in Penny's room for quite some time before she sent for anyone. The bed where Penny died was the bed where Mary and George had made Wendy. The children cried on the other side of the door, "Mommy we're hungry, John needs his nappy changed and Grandpa Joe doesn't know how, he smells awful! Mommy, please come out, we're lonely without you!"
Mary regained her composure, making supper for Penny's husband, their child and her children. She wrote George a note, "Please, George, I need you to do this for me, she deserves better than potter's field and her husband does not have the money." Mary dispatched it home with her father, and then did the dinner dishes and straightened the house while the children played. Penny's husband sat with a lost expression, holding his head in his hands. He was not there when she passed, and he never got to say good-bye.
Grandpa Joe returned later to collect the children and bring them home, "George said you should stay the night for Margaret. He already went to the Undertaker to pay the bill, so Penny can have a proper burial. You didn't even have to ask, Mary Elizabeth." Grandpa Joe now loved George and respected him. Mary spent the night in bed, caring for Margaret who cried for her mommy and Penny's husband spent the night at the pub.
In the early hours of the morning, Penny's husband came home. He was a tall, handsome man with long blonde hair, straight as an arrow. Had he come from a rich family, he would not have ended up working with his bare hands doing manual labor. Unlike George in every way, he had calluses on his hands and always stank of tobacco from the cigars he smoked. "We don't have any money to pay the bills, but he has enough money to always have his cigars and his drink," Penny had complained frequently.
Her husband was a selfish man, and this morning, he reeked of whiskey from drinking away his misery all night long. "Just make sure you're never alone with him, Mary," Penny had told her one afternoon, watching the children playing. "He's a whoremonger, always with the tramps down at the pub. I wouldn't put it past him to try something on you, and if anything ever happened to you because of him I would never forgive myself." Mary had never told a soul, but Penny's husband had always leered at her as inappropriate fantasies of his wife's best friend ran through his mind. Penny knew the truth of it, and gave her warning. George never looked at Mary that way, and she was thankful for that. Mary got up as he came in and went to the kitchen to brew coffee and make him something to eat to soak up the liquor that filled his stomach, feeling it her final duty to the her best friend's husband before departing.
Penny's husband's name was James, and because of what was about to happen to her, from that moment on Mary would never like that name on a man. As she stood at the stove, he slowly came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "I knew George in school. All the other boys used to make fun of him because he had never been with a girl. He was always too shy to talk to girls, his mother used to come and pick him up, making him hold her hand as they walked home, momma's boy that I gather he still is. I remember your first time with him in my bed. I listened to him plow into you. It was probably the first time for him too, I'm sure, from the sound of it. Him grunting like a filthy pig, moving on top of you like you were just a hole in the mattress. It was over quickly too if I remember correctly, made Penny and me laugh in hysterics. It'd been cheaper for him just to spend some of that hard earned cash he's always saving and get himself a nice little whore, they come young and cheap nowadays. That way he could have one off finally and been done with it. But I guess that's not what you wanted, maybe you're smarter than everyone gives you credit for Mary. Making a baby to tie a man down, I hear you're very good at that," he whispered in her ear.
Mary had always thought him good-looking, but knew he was no gentleman. She listened to his speech, holding her eyes dead centered in front of her without giving a retort. She thought that best, better to let him have his say, then egg him on with her own insults, she wished at that very moment to cast. She loved Penny like a sister, and for that reason alone, she held her tongue. Mary pushed his hands away and stepped aside to disallow his further exchange, keeping her silence. But he was persistent, and soon turned her to face him, rather harshly by grabbing her by the shoulders.
"George is a fool, I bet you he just lifts your leg while you're asleep and does his business, apologizing in the morning for disturbing your slumber, all polite and proper. 'Sorry dearest Mary, but it is my right at your husband and your duty as my wife, but worry not for it is only once a month,'" said James, mocking George's voice, a horrible impression Mary did not find the least bit humorous.
No one knew what George and Mary did in their bed because it was their business, and no, George never took Mary while she was asleep, but she did not feel the need to tell Penny's husband that. So again she pried herself from his grip and began savaging the cupboards for bread. "Does George ever give you pleasure, Mary?" A most tasteless and unbecoming question from a distraught husband whose wife had only passed a few hours before, Mary remained silent.
"You don't even know what I mean, do you? Poor girl. You've got two babies by him so I know he sure does. Does he grunt like the dirty pig he is the whole time or just when he dumps himself inside of you?" He sneered as he grabbed the can Mary was stretching on her tiptoes for.
"What a waste of a beautiful woman. You know, if you were my wife, you'd be begging me for it, just like Penny. Sometimes I had to beat her off of me with a stick." He pulled up a chair at his table and began wailing at her loss. He was drunk and Mary knew that. He was in a foul manner and impolite to her, and she knew it. He had an ulterior motive that Mary would have been blind not to see. She had her vision and her senses, and so she leaned back against the counter and crossed her arms. "You want to have a go at me then?" Mary asked. It was a peculiar voice, neither James nor George, nor even Grandpa Joe had ever heard her use before.
"I knew you were a wanting whore Mary, and now you are finally get to what you know you've always been after..."
James stood and turned to Mary, moving her around quickly, lifting her to the table. He slobbered at her neck moving his face against hers in an attempt to reach the kiss she had in the right hand corner of her mouth that belonged to George. He held her arms tightly and she was fragile in that way, not wanting him to break her in two as he threatened, "I can do this easy, Mary, or I can do this hard, I think you'll like it hard once its inside, but will prefer it easy before I get there, now let me taste your mouth just once before I do any damage that your husband might see." Mary released a kiss, not the one George put there but another she held in reserve for the bigger fish that no one knew of.
He rudely fondled her breasts through her night robe and began to force her down on her back. "I going to teach you how to come, Mary, and you're going to love it, you'll be back the minute George trots off to work in the morning pleading with me to give you your next lesson." He already had his pants down and certain private parts she did not want to see exposed. Holding both her hands above her head, he yanked her robe open and ripped the delicate top of her nightgown straight down.
The last thing protecting her womanhood was her full undergarment, which he was having quite a lot of trouble removing with only one free hand. Mary was naïve in certain matters but experienced in others, and now that she was a married women with two children, she knew what came next. George had always been the only one and she was intent on keeping it that way. She freed a hand and grabbed the pewter mug she had poured his coffee in and thumped him in the head with it as hard as she could.
The first hit stunned him, the second and third left him unconscious, the fourth and fifth were his punishment for truly being the foul creature Penny warned he was, the sixth was for Penny and the hell he kept her trapped in from the moment they met, the seventh for his daughter Margaret, the eighth for George, who to Mary, was the finest lover in all of London, and remaining two, totaling ten were for good measure. And that is exactly what she yelled at him as she beat him about the head in that same mysteriously sinister voice she had tempted him with. He fell from her and off the table to the floor below, a bloody, bludgeoned mess.
Mary never dressed so fast in her life, nor had she ever dressed a child so quickly either. She took his child, Margaret, from his house, still groggy from being awoken by Mary, pulling a shirt clumsily over her head and ran all the way home.
George was just leaving for work when she arrived, and not having checked her reflection in the mirror, she had missed the first thing he noticed. On her neck, was a strange bruise that was reddish purple and circular. He moved her hair from off her shoulder and touched it with interest. Mary shook her head when she told him she was allergic to something she ate, leaving him with a puzzled look of non-belief. To make matters worse, as George went to kiss her, to retrieve his kiss, he smelled the whiskey and tobacco on her. He moved in to brush his lips to hers but withdrew before touching her awaiting mouth without saying a word, walking out from the house still holding a bewildered expression. Mary called after him with Penny's child still cradled in her arms, but he just kept his pace as if he didn't hear her.
Mary left the children to play after serving them breakfast in the care of her father and went upstairs to the privacy of the washroom and bathed. She scrubbed every part of her body till her skin burned, and scoured the parts Penny's husband had touched twice as much. "Love bite," Penny called them when Mary inquired after the odd mark left on her neck. "James is famous for them, that's how I know when I go to the pub to pay his tab how many of the girls he's been at."
Mary had been jealous that George never branded her that way, but she did describe to him in great detail what they looked like and how they were received. George was horrified when he heard, as was Mary, who finally had one on her neck. She fixed her hair to cover it, and dressed in another outfit, scrubbing her nightgown and robe on the washboard till she reduced the delicate material to tatters. It was already ruined before she submerged it in boiling water, but she needed to cleanse it just the same. When she was done and it was unrecognizable as something one would sleep in, she threw it in the fireplace and watched it burn to ash.
George returned in the evening with the same blank expression he had left with. He sat and ate supper without saying a word, looking only at his plate. Instead of reading the paper in the kitchen while Mary did the dishes, he sat in the parlor with his mother and her father. She bathed the children and put them to sleep, and by the time she descended the stairs to explain what had happened, he had already retired to their bed.
Back up the stairs she went to him, and nudged him until he stirred. He seemed oblivious to what she meant when she asked if he were angry. "I'm not angry with you Mary, I am just tired from a long day." She gave him the intimate details of what happened that morning with Penny's husband and did not lie. He watched her without his spectacles on, nodding and looking from side to side with no noticeable concern or reaction. When she had finished her story, he asked her if she was done, and turned over and returned to slumber without a word.
Mary sat on the edge of the bed and watched George lying with his eyes closed, comfortable on his pillow, under the blankets. With his back turned, he asked her to turn off the light, "and please wind my pocket watch so it keeps correct time in the morning." She did, and still stayed where she sat, staring at him. Incomprehensibly, George began to snore, so Mary rose up and left the room.
She went downstairs to the parlor and sat in her father's favorite chair and wept. She cried for Penny and her child Margaret, just still an infant now left without her mother's protection. She cried for the newborn that never saw daylight. She cried for herself for being jealous of the life she thought her friend had. She cried for the kiss that was stolen, that she allowed to be thieved. She cried for George, who even though put on the greatest performance of a man asleep, she knew was still awake wiping tears on his pajama sleeve.
Mary never slept a wink that night, and neither did George. He wasn't upset with Mary but at himself for allowing his wife to be put in that most unfortunate situation. Penny had warned him, too: "George, just be careful with having Mary stop in when I am not there. I know this sounds frightful, and God forgive me for speaking ill of my husband, but I don't trust James alone with her, especially when he's been drinking." He believed her when she said nothing had happened, he believed her when she said she defended herself and he believed her when she told him that the kiss he left everyday on the right-hand corner of her mouth just for him was still there.
What George could not believe was the lack of courage he found within himself to walk up to Penny's husband and punch him in the jaw. He thought about it all day at work. Every time he gathered the nerve to do it, someone left something on his desk that "is a matter that requires your immediate attention." George was up for a promotion and knew what the extra pay would mean for his family. He knew the cost of a black eye that Penny's husband, a larger and stronger man especially one drunk, grief stricken, and already hostile after being attacked by a woman could inflict.
His two choices were: the new baby he wanted with Mary or an abrasion that would cost him a better position at the bank. He chose the baby, and the felt the coward and believed, far worse, Mary felt him the same.
In the morning, the bell to the Darling residence rang, and George answered. It was Penny's husband, and aside from the bruises he had on his face and a considerable amount of blood dried in his dirty hair, he was packed and ready to retrieve his child and drop her at his sister's. "I have an opportunity to be a crewman on a ship," he explained to George. This, after shaking George's hand and saying sorry for being rude and impolite to his wife. "I was drunk, George, and I said some things to Mary that may have offended her. I was surprised to find myself on the floor of my kitchen beaten with a pewter mug, so I guess I did a little more than offend her. I offer you a gentleman's apology."
George offered to keep his child there, actually, Mary begged for it, but Penny's husband would not hear of it, "You and Mary have done enough and I'm sure you'll be wanting more babies of your own."
Margaret was not happy to go, and cried when her father told her to say "good-bye." Mary hugged the child, "Don't fret, Margaret, I will stop in and visit with you often," and nodded to her father, inquiring of Penny's funeral mass that George had generously paid for.
"My ship leaves in only an hour. I'll just have enough time to drop the girl off and make it to the port. Margaret won't remember her mother when she gets older. Anyway, me and God in the same house is not my idea of a pleasurable afternoon."
He winked to Mary, thereby giving George one more insult, and one more opportunity to knock his lights outs. Still, George refrained, acting as if he did not see the lewd grin James taunted his wife with. Instead, George slammed the door in his face, hurting Margaret's feelings more than her reprobate father's.
Mary and George went to Penny's funeral alone, and left the children with Grandpa Joe. George may not have been strong enough to beat up Penny's husband, but he was strong enough to support his wife when her knees went weak as her best friend was lowered into the ground. He took her to a quiet restaurant in London afterwards, and then for a moonlight walk in the park where they first kissed.
They returned home. George bathed the children and put them to bed. "I'll take care of the children tonight Mary, you just relax."
Mary went to their room and sat by the window, remembering all the good times she had with Penny from when they first met as children. Penny taught her how to cook and clean, do grocery shopping; mend George's socks and the children's clothes. She told her what it was to be a woman, and was her most trusted confident, sharing secrets with her not even George knew. And now, Penny was gone, and there was no one else that Mary knew as best friend.
Through her grief, she listened to George entertain the children in the bath. They splashed their father, soaking him, laughing and giggling as in return he dunked them under the soap bubbles. Mary sat and watched as George had a difficult time getting the children to sleep. He didn't know any stories, and so Wendy had to teach him. Mary gazed at the children in awe as they guided their father through a story about pirates and a fair maiden stranded on a deserted island rescued by the pirate captain. With the children drifting off to their dreams, George and Mary went downstairs to the kitchen and sat at the table and held hands until Grandpa Joe and Grandma Josephine retired to their rooms and the house was silent.
George looked at Mary and the right hand corner of her mouth where his kiss was stored for times like these when he needed it. He kissed her, and then kissed her again. George was strong enough to carry her upstairs to their bedroom. He consoled her loss and made love to her all night long. Penny's husband was incorrect in his assumption, George always gave Mary her pleasure. Her beauty and body were not wasted, but enjoyed and filled with life, as it should be. He left his seed in her over and over again that night without thinking of it even once, and as they slept, another baby came to be in her womb and waited to bloom.