Chapter Eleven
The Second Task
I think I must have fallen asleep, for in the morning I found myself, stiff and damp, under the same tree. It was a glorious dawn, but I took no joy in it.
I absented myself from lessons that morning in what I must admit was a fit of spite and petulance, because I kicked my self for it as the day went on. Pride kept me from seeking Boromir out and apologizing, though.
After drowsing most of the afternoon so I wouldn't have to think, I took myself up to the not-quite sitting room. Galadriel was conspicuously absent. I had waited for possibly five minutes when she flowed in.
Standing reflexively as she sat, I heard the Lady sigh almost inaudibly. "Your departure from Lorien is nigh, daughter of earth. I shall explain my remarks of yestereve."
I dropped to the couch with a whumph, hundreds of protests running through my head. But I stayed silent.
Galadriel leaned forward slightly. "Do you not desire to go with the Fellowship?"
I nodded, trying to keep my hopes down and failing.
"Can you act with honor in their company?" Stern, pale eyes captured mine.
Honor? It occurred to me then that I would be traveling with eight males. "I can, lady."
"It will be a hard road. Will your conduct remain civil, no matter the toil asked of you?" I remained in the grasp of those eyes.
Good grief, she was asking me to behave. "It will, lady."
Galadriel looked down at her slim, white hands, and spoke softly. "You see only the adventure, and none of the pain. But perhaps that is how it must be. I send you with them, Firiel, that the Fellowship may remain whole, and I lay on you another task, like to the first: watch always, and seek peace between the others."
"My lady," I began, hating myself for not being able to lie, "I must tell you that I have been told quite plainly that I am neither needed nor wanted on this quest."
Galadriel smiled like a cat: a soft, dangerous turning-up of the lips. "They will, I think, accept you as my emissary." She stood. "Remain here until you are summoned." The Lady swept out, disappearing from view.
I puzzled over this brusque statement, and then my curiosity got the better of me. Tiptoeing out, I sneaked after her. Trailing Galadriel's train led me down to the talan with a house on. Or rather, a small white castle trying to be a house. Its great doors opened as she swept through. I peeked after her, watching her take a seat beside Lord Celeborn in the midst of many other elves.
A decidedly un-Elvish tread sounded on the stairs that spiraled up to the entrance. Looking down, I saw the entire Fellowship trooping up. Sam, trying to look everywhere at once, saw me. I put my finger to my lips in a plea for silence, and scrambled backwards.
From safe in the receiving room, I heard them march in. I waited for the creak of closing doors, but none came, so I crept back down and stationed myself out of sight by the entrance.
From my post, I caught perhaps one word in three of Celeborn's speech, sonorous as his basso tones were, He seemed to be offering the members of the company a choice, whether leave or stay in Lothlorien. All of them must have decided in silence, for Galadriel next spoke of everyone's decision to go forward. Boromir confirmed it, and the sound of his voice made something in my middle twist.
What Galadriel had spoken to me about earlier became clearer as I listened: the Fellowship was divided about their destination. Celeborn refused to chose for them, but offered the company boats to aid their journey down the river.
As Aragorn thanked him, the Lady's voice sounded in my head, something I thought I'd never get used to. We require your presence, daughter of earth. I counted to twenty, in an attempt to make it appear that I had descended from the talan above, before stepping around and through the doors.
Standing just inside, perhaps fifteen feet behind the Fellowship, who had their backs to me, I heard Galadriel tell them, "Upon it's departure from Imladris, the company numbered nine, and I would not send you from my land shorthanded. Therefore, I offer to complete your number."
From what I could hear of the group's murmurs among themselves, it was clear that they expected to leave Lorien in the company of a great elf-lord who would aid them in their quest. My heart made a valiant attempt at burrowing when I realized what a disappointment I would be after such expectations.
Then Galadriel spoke my name aloud, and the assembly turned. I fixed my eyes on those of the Lady but saw Boromir's face twist with the rage of betrayal and then assume a blank mask. She beckoned me forward, and the company parted for my approach. "Your companion, gentlemen." But though she said it, I neither felt nor believed it.
Celeborn informed us that all would be ready at the haven for our departure tomorrow noon, and we bowed and left as one. Descending as one proved to be a bit of a problem, however. The bits where stairs spiraled around the mallorn trunk were manageable, although I got pushed to the end. No, the crush came when we were confronted with ladders. Having one's fingers trod on by hairy hobbit feet while dangling two hundred feet in the air was not an experience to be repeated. I confess to poking Pippin once or twice.
Following the tide to the Fellowship's pavilion, I watched Aragorn and Boromir together in hushed but animated discussion. I caught Strider hissing once, "You cannot defy the Lady," and knew my coming was being discussed.
Once we reached the pavilion, the hobbits cast themselves down, protesting in various ways that their kind weren't meant to climb anything. When they discovered the evening meal that had been left for us, though, they shut up. The two men remained closeted together, and since Legolas and Gimli were as thick as thieves, I plopped on the soft grass, reminding myself that I didn't cry. My eyes were squeezed tight shut when I sensed that the discussion had become general: the topic that of our destination. I faced everyone, not planning to add my two cents. In doing so I caught Boromir's eye, and, quailing under his murderous scowl, looked down quickly.
Frodo, the Ringbearer, was silent, and Aragorn, our fearless leader, seemed of two minds. Nothing was being accomplished. Finally, Boromir announced that his duty was to go to Minas Tirith, and he would go alone if need be. I wanted to stand and declare that he would not go by himself, but I remained silent, not sure if he wanted my company or my aid to save his city.
Boromir continued, saying that if we wished only to destroy the Ring, then his city could not help, but if we wished the Dark Lord destroyed, then we should not go alone and not throw away. Throw away what, I wondered. Lives, he amended, though I did not think that was what he had originally meant to say. He ended by telling us it was a choice between going to death and defending a strong place.
I opened my mouth to second this, and then snapped it shut, sure that my approval would hinder rather help his cause. Then, watching him stalk off to the end of the shadowed lawn, I became annoyed at my own cowardice, so I popped up and followed. Boromir threw himself down, one knee drawn up to his chest, brooding.
"My lord," I tried, kneeling beside him. He ignored me. "My lord, I know I have displeased you, but give me leave to speak, that I may answer for my actions. Please."
"Begging does not become you, Firiel," came the answer in a heartbreaking monotone.
I launched into my explanation. "The Lady thought to send me, lord, truly, though I confess I did greatly desire to journey with you."
"And now you must journey. By happy chance your wish is granted. I shall not gainsay the Lady." Boromir cut his eyes at Aragorn, scowling.
"But that wish had not your blessing, lord," I protested, uncomfortably aware that what I had wanted had been handed to me, only now I didn't want it anymore. Somehow, pleasing Boromir meant more to me than pleasing myself.
"I only thought to protect you from harm." His voice was weary. "It will be a comfort to have you along."
So I 'was' some help as a squire! But still. . . "Not a burden, lord?" I wanted to know.
"A comfortable burden." Very reassuring, that. "The hour is late," Boromir ended. "You are to sleep here?" I could see that the propriety of this arrangement did not please him.
"Aye, lord." I sketched a bow and dashed away, skinning up to my talan and back down, collecting my things in record time. Panting, I spread my blankets beside him, a little distance away. And for the first of many nights, I fell asleep with Boromir watching over me.
The Second Task
I think I must have fallen asleep, for in the morning I found myself, stiff and damp, under the same tree. It was a glorious dawn, but I took no joy in it.
I absented myself from lessons that morning in what I must admit was a fit of spite and petulance, because I kicked my self for it as the day went on. Pride kept me from seeking Boromir out and apologizing, though.
After drowsing most of the afternoon so I wouldn't have to think, I took myself up to the not-quite sitting room. Galadriel was conspicuously absent. I had waited for possibly five minutes when she flowed in.
Standing reflexively as she sat, I heard the Lady sigh almost inaudibly. "Your departure from Lorien is nigh, daughter of earth. I shall explain my remarks of yestereve."
I dropped to the couch with a whumph, hundreds of protests running through my head. But I stayed silent.
Galadriel leaned forward slightly. "Do you not desire to go with the Fellowship?"
I nodded, trying to keep my hopes down and failing.
"Can you act with honor in their company?" Stern, pale eyes captured mine.
Honor? It occurred to me then that I would be traveling with eight males. "I can, lady."
"It will be a hard road. Will your conduct remain civil, no matter the toil asked of you?" I remained in the grasp of those eyes.
Good grief, she was asking me to behave. "It will, lady."
Galadriel looked down at her slim, white hands, and spoke softly. "You see only the adventure, and none of the pain. But perhaps that is how it must be. I send you with them, Firiel, that the Fellowship may remain whole, and I lay on you another task, like to the first: watch always, and seek peace between the others."
"My lady," I began, hating myself for not being able to lie, "I must tell you that I have been told quite plainly that I am neither needed nor wanted on this quest."
Galadriel smiled like a cat: a soft, dangerous turning-up of the lips. "They will, I think, accept you as my emissary." She stood. "Remain here until you are summoned." The Lady swept out, disappearing from view.
I puzzled over this brusque statement, and then my curiosity got the better of me. Tiptoeing out, I sneaked after her. Trailing Galadriel's train led me down to the talan with a house on. Or rather, a small white castle trying to be a house. Its great doors opened as she swept through. I peeked after her, watching her take a seat beside Lord Celeborn in the midst of many other elves.
A decidedly un-Elvish tread sounded on the stairs that spiraled up to the entrance. Looking down, I saw the entire Fellowship trooping up. Sam, trying to look everywhere at once, saw me. I put my finger to my lips in a plea for silence, and scrambled backwards.
From safe in the receiving room, I heard them march in. I waited for the creak of closing doors, but none came, so I crept back down and stationed myself out of sight by the entrance.
From my post, I caught perhaps one word in three of Celeborn's speech, sonorous as his basso tones were, He seemed to be offering the members of the company a choice, whether leave or stay in Lothlorien. All of them must have decided in silence, for Galadriel next spoke of everyone's decision to go forward. Boromir confirmed it, and the sound of his voice made something in my middle twist.
What Galadriel had spoken to me about earlier became clearer as I listened: the Fellowship was divided about their destination. Celeborn refused to chose for them, but offered the company boats to aid their journey down the river.
As Aragorn thanked him, the Lady's voice sounded in my head, something I thought I'd never get used to. We require your presence, daughter of earth. I counted to twenty, in an attempt to make it appear that I had descended from the talan above, before stepping around and through the doors.
Standing just inside, perhaps fifteen feet behind the Fellowship, who had their backs to me, I heard Galadriel tell them, "Upon it's departure from Imladris, the company numbered nine, and I would not send you from my land shorthanded. Therefore, I offer to complete your number."
From what I could hear of the group's murmurs among themselves, it was clear that they expected to leave Lorien in the company of a great elf-lord who would aid them in their quest. My heart made a valiant attempt at burrowing when I realized what a disappointment I would be after such expectations.
Then Galadriel spoke my name aloud, and the assembly turned. I fixed my eyes on those of the Lady but saw Boromir's face twist with the rage of betrayal and then assume a blank mask. She beckoned me forward, and the company parted for my approach. "Your companion, gentlemen." But though she said it, I neither felt nor believed it.
Celeborn informed us that all would be ready at the haven for our departure tomorrow noon, and we bowed and left as one. Descending as one proved to be a bit of a problem, however. The bits where stairs spiraled around the mallorn trunk were manageable, although I got pushed to the end. No, the crush came when we were confronted with ladders. Having one's fingers trod on by hairy hobbit feet while dangling two hundred feet in the air was not an experience to be repeated. I confess to poking Pippin once or twice.
Following the tide to the Fellowship's pavilion, I watched Aragorn and Boromir together in hushed but animated discussion. I caught Strider hissing once, "You cannot defy the Lady," and knew my coming was being discussed.
Once we reached the pavilion, the hobbits cast themselves down, protesting in various ways that their kind weren't meant to climb anything. When they discovered the evening meal that had been left for us, though, they shut up. The two men remained closeted together, and since Legolas and Gimli were as thick as thieves, I plopped on the soft grass, reminding myself that I didn't cry. My eyes were squeezed tight shut when I sensed that the discussion had become general: the topic that of our destination. I faced everyone, not planning to add my two cents. In doing so I caught Boromir's eye, and, quailing under his murderous scowl, looked down quickly.
Frodo, the Ringbearer, was silent, and Aragorn, our fearless leader, seemed of two minds. Nothing was being accomplished. Finally, Boromir announced that his duty was to go to Minas Tirith, and he would go alone if need be. I wanted to stand and declare that he would not go by himself, but I remained silent, not sure if he wanted my company or my aid to save his city.
Boromir continued, saying that if we wished only to destroy the Ring, then his city could not help, but if we wished the Dark Lord destroyed, then we should not go alone and not throw away. Throw away what, I wondered. Lives, he amended, though I did not think that was what he had originally meant to say. He ended by telling us it was a choice between going to death and defending a strong place.
I opened my mouth to second this, and then snapped it shut, sure that my approval would hinder rather help his cause. Then, watching him stalk off to the end of the shadowed lawn, I became annoyed at my own cowardice, so I popped up and followed. Boromir threw himself down, one knee drawn up to his chest, brooding.
"My lord," I tried, kneeling beside him. He ignored me. "My lord, I know I have displeased you, but give me leave to speak, that I may answer for my actions. Please."
"Begging does not become you, Firiel," came the answer in a heartbreaking monotone.
I launched into my explanation. "The Lady thought to send me, lord, truly, though I confess I did greatly desire to journey with you."
"And now you must journey. By happy chance your wish is granted. I shall not gainsay the Lady." Boromir cut his eyes at Aragorn, scowling.
"But that wish had not your blessing, lord," I protested, uncomfortably aware that what I had wanted had been handed to me, only now I didn't want it anymore. Somehow, pleasing Boromir meant more to me than pleasing myself.
"I only thought to protect you from harm." His voice was weary. "It will be a comfort to have you along."
So I 'was' some help as a squire! But still. . . "Not a burden, lord?" I wanted to know.
"A comfortable burden." Very reassuring, that. "The hour is late," Boromir ended. "You are to sleep here?" I could see that the propriety of this arrangement did not please him.
"Aye, lord." I sketched a bow and dashed away, skinning up to my talan and back down, collecting my things in record time. Panting, I spread my blankets beside him, a little distance away. And for the first of many nights, I fell asleep with Boromir watching over me.