My Darling Love
Chapter 24 – The Good George
"If there be trouble let it be in my day that my child may have peace."
-Thomas Paine
"Wendy!" Mary bolted awake and to the children's beds.
They were empty, and now she was the one that felt lost. George awoke also and followed her about the room while she pulled back the blankets and made sure the children were not hiding under the covers. "Mary, are you alright, did you hear them return?" George asked, seemingly as lost as she.
Mary turned to George and remembered Captain Hook's words, and then she looked down horror-struck at her nightgown, stained with blood. "It's just your monthly, Mary," George offered as she rushed to the washroom and drew a boiling hot bath.
"It can't be my monthly, George, I haven't had one in years!" she wept as she undressed to get in. It was indeed just her monthly, but its coming was frighteningly coincidental to what had just taken place in her dream.
"The physician said once your organs were completely healed, there was a chance they would at times return, and this isn't the first time, Mary. You just had one in the fall, and before that last spring and there were other times before that as well. They don't come every month, but they do come. You are just better now, and maybe they will come back more regularly," George reasoned as he watched her ease into the hot water.
"But I will never have any more children..." Mary whispered sorrowfully to George who shook his head.
"No, Mary, no more children."
When she was bathed to her own satisfaction, and nearly scalded, she returned to the nursery. George sat on Wendy's bed waiting for her with the most innocent and unsuspecting face she had ever seen him wear. "George, I have to ask you something, and I want you to be honest. As honest as if your life depended upon it."
George fixed his glasses on his face and sat up straight, ready to be interrogated. He nodded to his wife when he felt prepared enough and she began.
"Why did you allow Peter's wife, Eve, to engage you in your tryst?"
George bowed his head, feeling the total disgrace. Any question but that one he was ready to answer. Unprepared, he became defensive, and countered very sternly, "It was your idea, you wanted me to. I thought we agreed never to speak about it again, Mary. I told you it would never happen again and that should be good enough."
Mary walked to her armchair and sat down casting her eyes out of the open window toward the cold twinkling stars. "Leave me alone, I want to wait for the children by myself," she said softly, more as a request for mercy than a demand made in anger.
"No, I want to wait here for them too. After all it is my fault they ran away." He planted himself back down at her feet and watched out the window. Mary could not get past George's aversion to discussing his one stray from her. Even experienced in marriage and with him, she couldn't see it. Doubts filled her mind at lightening speed. Finally when she could no longer bear the voices in her head, she yelled, "If you don't tell me why, the children will never come home and then it will be your fault!"
George's head sank again, and he closed his eyes. This time, he removed his spectacles and really gave his unfaithfulness some thought. He, too, had put it out of mind and had not thought deeply about it. In himself, he truly did not want to know the reason, for it hurt him so deeply that he'd done it. He started with, "I was drunk..." Mary waited, wisely knowing there was more. After a minute or so he continued, "She told me she had your permission, and I thought that meant you wanted me to." Seeing Mary's expression and knowing blaming her was not the right road to venture down he dug deeper.
"I know that I should have been as insistent as you were about Peter, but maybe I'm weak. No other woman but you has ever held the slightest interest in me. I was, well, curious -- I admit it.
"I had a completely different life in Paris than here, no rules, and no responsibilities, no ledgers to balance. It was like I was a child again, and I could have whatever my heart desired. Peter told me that whatever happened in Paris would stay in Paris, and I was foolish enough to believe him. He told me I should let myself go and have all the fun I wanted, for it was all free, paid for, and it was all for the taking, even his wife." He paused, remembering. "He was always after you, Mary. Maybe I thought that by having a go at her, I could one up him, sure that you would never bed him. And I was right and I was very wrong in my thinking. I forgot to calculate the expense and see what my actions would cost.
"Now I see that something that meant absolutely nothing to me could cost me everything. And now I will have to spend the rest of my life repaying a debt that, if I had been wiser, I would never even have owed. The worst part is, there is no amount of money that will buy back the simple fact of you, Mary, being the only woman that I have ever been with in that way. So knowing that I had at his wife, and he will never have at mine is totally irrelevant. He wanted you to begin with, before we were married, so in that matter, I had already 'won' and there was no competition, only the one I created. I was greedy, and I wanted that extra something that would prove to him I was better than he.
"And all that time, I was already the better man, already the luckier man, and I should have been more concerned proving that to myself and my wife."
"Did you make love to her? You just said you had at her. Did you?" Mary asked, still keeping her eyes out the window into the night.
"In order to make love to her, I would have to love her. I told you she only put it in her mouth, she was still dressed,' George responded miserably, watching his wife's distant gaze.
"But you wanted to, had she not wanted to taste you first, you would have," Mary said looking at him, her heart broken along with his.
"Mary, dearest, can we not put this all behind us and forget it ever happened? I am not that man from Paris -- that man was left behind! I am your George, the one the one you married. You must forgive me, Mary. You must! We agreed to leave all that behind in the past, please, can we not do that? I swore to you it would never happen again and it won't, I will not even speak with my brother Peter again either. You are my family, you and our children -- please forgive me, Mary. Please!" George held her hands and she turned her eyes back to him once more when he knelt before her. "Mary, if you don't forgive me and forget, knowing how repentant I am for my sins, that anger you hold within...God will never send the children back to us." His eyes now begged for compassion, and so she nodded her head.
With all that was said, she closed her eyes, and both George and Mary said a prayer, "Dearest God, please help us find our children, lead them back to us as we are truly lost without them, guide us on our quest to bring them home...."
Mary drifted back to sleep. When she landed in the dream world, Captain Hook was waiting and as she approached, he met her unexpected surprise with, "Ah, Madam, back again so soon?"
"Wendy, the magic of being a child does not end when you grow up. More so, you will see it becomes more powerful as it changes in your adulthood. You have simple emotions now, you are happy or sad or excited or angry. But when you become a woman, those emotions will run deeper because you will no longer be self-centered in your world. You will care about other people, most of them you will love more than yourself. Instead of only seeing how your choices affect yourself you will see and feel how your actions affect others as well. It is a great responsibility, but with care and love the rewards are endless." Those words came to Gwendolyn Angelina Darling from the most unlikely of sources. Not only did they give her thoughts of the grown up world awaiting her, they made her instantly homesick.
In Neverland, Wendy and her brothers slept in the green grass. It had only been a few days, but strangely, she already wanted to go home. She missed her mother and her father, Grandpa Joe, Nana, and even Aunt Millicent. She missed her friends and her schoolwork; she missed her nursery and her warm bed.
"Dreams are wonderful, because they are always perfect. They only exist in your mind and you can make them whatever you want them to be. If there is something you don't like, you can change it. There is no need to be sad that they will never really be real, because you can carry them with you forever and relive them at your leisure. It would be so sad if they came true, and things did not come to pass as you had wanted, then you would always have the memory of your disappointment where your dreams used to be." Thus Captain Hook informed Wendy when she asked him when her fairy tale adventures of being a pirate would begin. Even though she was having a glorious time, Wendy was regretting that she was now living her dream. Already she faced disenchantments. Peter was a boy who would never grow up. He would never be a man that got married and made babies with his wife.
"Oh tis a thankless job of father and husband, that is why Peter Pan doesn't want to grow up. He's afraid of growing old. But growing up is natural part of childhood. Who wants to stay young forever? After a while, it gets tiresome without change. But to stay here stranded as a child forever is Peter Pan's choice, not yours, dearest Wendy. If you stay here in Neverland there will never go to elegant cotillions and dinner parties, there will never be dancing and music and fun. You will never be married or have babies or see your own babies have babies or go anywhere but here. And is here where you really want to stay? Forever? Oh no, I should think not, who would want to stay with a boy when she can go home, grow up an marry a man who is real and made a choice to be that way," Captain Hook tempted her as he led her back on shore to safety.
Wendy watched as he slowly made his way on his launch with Mr. Smee. Peter had said he was dangerous, and she should never try to engage him in battle. "Let me handle Hook," he'd told her the day she arrived. Now, as the man hoisted himself back aboard the Jolly Roger without ever threatening her or slashing her from navel to neck, she realized she was not at all afraid of Captain Hook, rather, she found herself entranced.
For the first time in her life, Wendy began to understand her father. She understood why he made her mother happy. He was a grown up who wanted to marry her and kiss her; he gave her children. George worked for his family, he gave them warmth and shelter and love. Her father never asked for anything in return but their respect for his hard work and appreciation for the sacrifices he had made for them. Wendy felt guilty for thinking him a cowardly king.
If anyone was a coward, she saw now it was Peter Pan. As brave as he seemed and fearless in battle with the dread pirate Captain Hook, he was afraid to grow up. Wendy was not afraid and now she was ready. She opened her eyes and poked John awake. He rubbed his eyes and looked at his sister. "I want to go home," she said and he nodded his head in agreement.
"Me too," John whispered.
Michael fell in with, "I miss Mother's muffins and Grandpa Joe's pancakes. And I know this sounds strange, but I don't feel safe anymore without father around to protect us...."
Captain Hook sat on a rock near the beach and watched with great interest as Mary approached. He rose and bowed to her, and then sat back down as she drew nearer to where he waited. "I was hoping you would return, Madam." He offered her his arm, and she accepted it as they proceeded to the small launch that would take them back to where the Jolly Roger had run aground and was rotting in the ocean. "I'll assume you feel to be a wife and mother is a bore. If adventure out there on the high seas is what you desire we will find it together." Captain Hook stepped into the boat and extended his arm to aid her entry, but she refused shaking her head. "I see, Madam, you have not come for me, but for your children."
"I am a wife and mother, by my choice. I decided a long time ago to grow up and be an adult with responsibilities. Responsibilities to others that I love."
When Mary said the word love Captain Hook stuck out his tongue as if he would retch at any moment. "Love is such a unusual emotion, it always seems to be wasted on those who will never appreciate it. Does your husband love you?"
Mary tilted her head and replied, "Yes, he does, and you give the impression of someone who knows nothing of true love. I wonder, has anyone loved you in your entire life?"
"Yes," he answered raising his head proudly.
"Who, your men? They feared you. They did not love you. If they loved you, they would have never left you behind. They were rats who escaped the sinking ship." She turned his attention with her finger to the Jolly Roger that as she spoke had begun to sink, hull first into the ocean.
"My men do love me, and appreciate me. That, Madam, is not the Jolly Roger, that is the vessel they came to me on when they arrived." Captain Hook made as if to speak, to offer her an enlightenment of his love, but then thought better of it. "Just go back to your life, Madam, with your husband in your house and be happy!" he shouted, yanking her by the arm into the launch.
She fought him all the way into the boat and began kicking him in defense. Captain Hook caught her neatly by the arms from behind, making her ineffective. "Wendy thinks that you love me. She asked me to save to save you? Why?"
"Because my daughter is a child, with a child's heart. She does not see the evils in the world. She is entranced by danger and easily misled by others with wicked motives unseen by innocent eyes. And it is not her right to decide who is to save me! Now tell me where you have my children."
He pushed her forward away from him, "After what you just told to me, 'easily misled by others with wicked motives unseen by innocent eyes,' and all you've seen with your own eyes, how could you possibly think I would be the one trying to keep your children here!" In his anger he picked her up and flung her overboard, Mary landing in the waist high water. "Go home, Madam, only your husband can save your children now. I wonder where he is?" The waves were crashing into Mary and she could not keep her balance. "The tide is coming in, and soon you will be swept out to sea with the undertow. Now where is that valiant husband of yours when you need him? With his sister-in-law still? Getting a little more variety? You know, Madam, your brother-in-law said variety is the spice of life."
There was no doubt now; she was drowning in the seas that suddenly changed from calm waters to a violent churning that swept her under. "Help me, save me!" Mary shouted to the pirate captain.
Captain Hook yanked Mary up by her hair one final time and whispered in her ear, "There are worse hells that are to come to you, Madam, from which I will not be able to save you, because, after all, I am not George Darling. But you must always remember, Madam, because of me, God keeps you in the corner of his eye."
He released Mary who was immediately knocked down by another wave and, she fought hard against the salt water that flooded over her. Just when she regained her footing, another wave rushed in and over her. She closed her eyes and held her breath as the waters began to take her farther and farther from shore. Captain Hook watched with an odd expression of loss as she sped past him on the heel of an upsurge. "Fear not the waters, Madam, you will be back to your husband in the safety of your home before you open your eyes," he called out to her and she went under once more.
When she opened her eyes she was sitting on her bed in her room. Pebbles hit the window, and she ran to it, expecting to see the children waiting below. "Open the door Father, the children are home!" she called out, but no one answered. She threw up the window and there standing in the street she saw George waving up to her.
"Mary Elizabeth Baker Darling, I love you and I want to save you! I'm not rich but I have enough money to make you comfortable in a small home with three children, a dog, and Grandpa Joe. Even your Aunt Millicent is always welcome over for dinner, even though we never invite her. I know it is not a lot to offer a grand lady such as you, and if you want to be saved by Captain Hook, I will understand and leave, but you must remember God sent me specially to you. You asked for me and here I am. I will never be allowed enter into heaven if I didn't at least ask you to reconsider..."
Mary, in her bathrobe, immediately climbed out the bedroom window and down the trellis to the street, calling out for George as she went. A few feet from the sidewalk she missed her footing and fell. She landed safely on top of her husband, who was also in his pajamas. "George!" she shouted to his unconscious body below her.
"Mary?" he groaned back.
"You saved me, you saved me!" She hugged him tightly as he moaned again in pain.
"What were you doing climbing down the trellis, the front door would have been much faster and safer, Mary Elizabeth!" Grandpa Joe shouted as he also ran out in his pajamas.
"Where are the children?" Mary asked her father as he helped George to his feet.
"We were just about to ask you the same thing. Where did you see them?" Grandpa Joe asked as he helped George into the house and lowered him onto the sofa.
"I thought they were the ones throwing pebbles at my window. But it was George," Mary responded, removing George's robe and finding a piece of wood from the trellis caught in his side.
"George must have run out when he heard you call that the children were home," Aunt Millicent said, before fainting at the sight of blood that poured from George.
"Oh my God, George." Mary clutched him to her. His glasses were broken and blood leaked from his mouth. "Please don't leave me, I can't go on without you," she pled as he again drifted into unconsciousness.
"Best call for the doctor," Grandpa Joe added as he put on his coat and fled out into the night. "Stay with him!" Grandpa Joe shouted as he broke into a run as soon as he reached the sidewalk.
"George, you saved me again. I was drowning and you rescued me. I love you so much, please don't go."
George opened his eyes and gave a weak smile to Mary. "Its not that bad, Mary, it's only a scrape."
Mary wiped the blood from his mouth and cried harder. "I bit my tongue when you fell on me, that's why my mouth is bleeding. Really, I'll be fine." And in an hour he was fine, very sore and in need of several stitches in his side, but fine nonetheless. The doctor and Grandpa Joe brought him to his bed and gave him a shot of morphine to dull the pain. In only minutes he was in a deep sleep. "Try not to climb out anymore windows, Mrs. Darling. You know, dear, you are not a young girl of eighteen anymore," the doctor offered as he tipped his hat and left.
Mary returned to the nursery and sat in the chair by the window. Something was oddly incorrect; there was no cold breeze. She was up in a heartbeat to the window; she unlatched it and yanked it up high.
"Mother, it's cold in here. Must we keep the window open?" Michael whined from his bed.
Mary spun around to see all three of her children lying snuggly in their beds, covers pulled to their necks.
She ran to each one of them and snatched them up in her arms, kissing them from head to toe. "My babies! My precious babies, you've come back!" She cried tears of joy and made them stand before her so she could memorize them just as they were. Definitely different from the last time she saw them, they were filthy and their nightclothes were torn and stained. She did not ask them where they were or where they went, but just kept hugging and kissing them, wanting to forever.
"Where is father?" John asked. "Is he mad and doesn't want to see us?" Wendy said nothing, only showing a sad face.
"No, your father saved me tonight, children."
Mary brought them all into her room and showed the children their father lying in bed. She removed the bed sheet and unbuttoned his pajama top exposing the bandaging that the doctor had wrapped around his wound. Both John and Michael looked with mouths gaped wide to Wendy who was crying. "You were right, Father was the courageous knight who saved us, Peter Pan, and mother from Captain Hook and his pirates, Wendy," John managed.
Grandpa Joe came upstairs when he heard the pitter patter of little feet scurrying around above his head. He too rejoiced at their return, squeezing them together so tightly in his grandfatherly hug that none of them could breath.
The children were bathed and fed a midnight feast of pancakes and muffins. Even Nana got to sit at the table and enjoy the laughter and happiness of the family reunited.
Aunt Millicent awoke from her fainting spell only to pass out again when the children jumped on her to announce their homecoming.
Normally, the children never wanted to go to bed, but tonight they could not wait to retire. They snuggled up in their warm beds, and Mary waited until they all were fast asleep before she left them. Not only did she lock the nursery window, she barricaded it, closing it off with the children's bookcase, dresser and another dresser just for good measure. As they slept in their own beds, Mary knelt on her hands and knees and prayed, "Dearest God, thank you for giving me George, thank you for returning my children safely to me, and thank you...I don't know why, but thank you for whatever it was that Captain Hook did that made my babies want to come to me and George."
God heard her prayer and smiled down on her appreciation even if she didn't truly understand its merit.
Mary went to her room to remove a key from George's coat pocket and went downstairs to his desk. She opened his "dreams" drawer and gazed at the contents within. There were several clippings from the newspaper, listings for larger homes and estates for sale. On one sheet of ledger paper, he had figured out the expenses of having a full time maid, nanny and cook. On another ledger sheet, he had written how much money he wanted for each of his children to be saved by their eighteenth birthday, and each week he listed a new deposit making his goal almost reachable by the time they were ten years old. He had well surpassed the amount he wished for, and still every week he added more cash into their accounts making the totals higher and higher. The last item in the drawer was a file folder filled with legal documents. It took Mary all night to read through it, and by dawn she finally reached the last page dated only the day before, the last lines stated.
Mr. James Shipman has acknowledged receipt of your final payment. You can take custody of his only child, a daughter Margaret Penelope Shipman, on March 15th of this year. He will sign and relinquish his parental rights on or before that date. Please see enclosed documents to have the child's name changed to Margaret Penny Darling.
There were no enclosed documents, so Mary knew George had already filled them out and sent them away. She exhaled deeply and inhaled just the same. "Penny..." she said softly to the quiet house. "It was supposed to be a surprise, Mary." Grandpa Joe said as he bent down and kissed his only daughter on her head.
Author's Note: This is not the end of the story, far from it...