Chapter 1

Early in the morning Harry woke up by thehorrible stench of Dudley's farts.

"Dudley, stop that right this instant!" shouted Uncle Vernon.

"Can't, I'm full of gas."

"Well don't have him near any sharp things or he'll blow up, and we don't want that do we." Harry thought.

"Wake up!" Petunia shouted slamming her skinny boney hand on the door, "Time for school!" still slamming on the door, Harry thought those would break any minute. Just thinking of school made him tired, it is obvious that there is another freaky adventure that lies ahead of him.

"I'm coming!" Harry got dressed and opened the door when Petunia's fist was hitting Harry's face." Ow! Those feel like rocks!"

"Finally, I was about to get the sledgehammer."

"I hope Hermione has a spell to heal my bruises."

One Day at Hogwarts Harry, Hermione and Ron were at the library reading spell books.

"This is boooooring Hermione I would have had more fun being shouted at by Snape." cried Harry.

"Hey Harry, lets go bother Snape!" shouted Ron.

"Last one to jump on Snape is a rotten wizard!"

And they skipped of singing "The Wonderful Wizard of Oz"

"What a pair of idiots. I forgot how we became friends." thought Hermione.

Later on the day Hermione was looking for Harry and Ron, and she thought just the place. It was time for lunch and Hermione went to the Great Hall and found Harry and Ron wolfing down the food.

"Better eat quickly or there will be no food left, and watch out for Harry and Ron's mouth." she thought.

After lunch Harry and Ron moaned,"I'm bloated, does anyone have Gas-X?"

At Professor McGonagall's class Harry and Ron were late, again.

"What do I have to do to make you two be on time at least once!"

Ron shouted,"Turn me into a Tiger!"

"I'd rather turn you into a hamster it matches your intelligence."

"Wha?"

"Never mind, go to your seats."

After class the group met up at the Great Hall.

"I've go to go read some more books at the library they said that they have new copies on spell books." said Hermione and ran off.

"Let's go play Quidditch!" shouted Harry and Ron.

After the game Harry moaned, "I'm pooped."

"Hey don't rub it in." said Ron.

"Oh yeah you fell and rolled in dog poop, that was hilarious. But at least you distracted the other team."

"You mean the whole place. I need a shower."