Tuesday
2:46 PM
Somewhere in Free Country
Strong Sad walked around the empty fields of his hometown. He glanced around at the open space, thinking. Thinking about his chance to make it big. Thinking about his chance to rich and famous. Thinking about showing all the Free Country residents that they shouldn't have shunned him. But mostly, just thinking.
Eventually, he looked up and found himself at the King of Town's castle. He paused. He began to walk in.
His friend had given him a legal document that he had received from the Sacramento legislature. It was a document that, if signed by both Strong Sad and the King of Town (who the government regarded as the legal mayor of Free Country), would give the entire legal custody of the town of Free Country over to him. He pushed open the door and looked around. He was in a large stone room with torches mounted on the walls and a tapestry of a roast turkey on the other end of the room. He walked to the other end of the room and went through a door beside the tapestry. He looked in. He found himself in a large room with dozens of other tapestries of food lining the walls. There was a huge table in the centre of the room, with the overweight, stately figure of the King of Town doing what he does best—eating lots and lots of food. Strong Sad was mildly surprised by how much food the King was eating. Here is a list of a few of the things the King was devouring:
Chicken, fried chicken, bacon, cheese, turkey, corn, lettuce, broccoli, tomatoes, bread rolls, apples, oranges, pears, bananas, rice, French fries, mashed patatoes, baked patatoes, hot dogs, hamburgers, cheeseburgers, chicken burgers, turkey burgers, turkey, fish, marshmallows, grapes, chocolate, gingerbread, muffins, cookies, fish, shrimp, crackers, chips, sandwiches of every kind, cake, fruitcake, strawberries, melon, coconuts, mangoes, pineapples, pie, puddings, plum puddings, beef, ham, jelly, and sausages. Just to name a few.
"Um...King?" asked Strong Sad tentatively. The King looked up from his food for a brief moment to see who was talking. "Oh, hello, Strong Sad," muttered the King, his face stuffed full of food. "What brings you to yon castle?" He then continued engorging himself.
"Well...I wanted to know if you would like to have a lifetime supply of roast beef." Naturally, Strong Sad had already figured out a way to tricking the King into signing the form. The King looked up from his food.
"Do I?"cried the King. "What do I have to do?"
"You have to enter a contest."
"Who's it sponsored by?"
"The ABFA. The American Beef Farmers Association."
"Oh, wonderful! Where do I sign?"
"Right here."
Strong Sad handed the King the custody document. The King was so exited about getting a lifetime supply of roast beef that he didn't even stop to read the paper. He just signed it automatically. He didn't notice that Strong Sad's signature was on the form as well.
"Thanks, King," said Strong Sad, taking the form back from him. "You should receive the results of the contest in a week.
"Oh, I'm so exited!" cried the King. "I'm so exited, I can't even eat!" The King then paused. "Or can I...?"
He immediately began devouring the food on the table again. He was so engrossed with his food that he didn't even notice Strong Sad leaving.
Tuesday
4:38 PM
Somewhere Above California
Strong Sad stared out the window, watching the clouds go by under him. Him and his friend were on an airplane, en route to Sacramento. He needed to go to the state capital to turn in the custody document. He had in his carryon bag. He would not let it get out of his site. His friend was sitting in the seat beside him, reading a copy of En Route magazine. Strong Sad had spent most of the flight staring out the window. You couldn't see it on his face, but he was actually quite exited about this job.
About an hour later, the captain's voice came onto the speakers.
"Ladies and gentleman, this is your captain speaking. He have started our descent into the Sacramento area. The local time here is 4:59 PM, and the temperature is about 72 degrees. We should arrive in about 10 minutes."
Tuesday
5:58 PM
Sacramento Legislature
It had taken a long time, but the custody document had finally been verified, and the entire town of Free Country now legally belonged to Strong Sad. Strong Sad and his friend were walking down the large stone staircase in front of the legislature. They turned to each other, and they smiled at each other. Strong Sad liked smiling. When your life was as terrible as Strong Sad's was, then smiling was a rare treat.
Tuesday
6: 39 PM
Somewhere above California
Strong Sad and his friend were en route to Free Country in another airplane. A few minutes after takeoff, Strong Sad's friend had taken the plane phone from the seat in front of him and dialled a number. He had called Halloway at Olympus Studios again. He told the secretary his name, and he was soon speaking with Halloway.
"So, have you got Free Country?" asked Halloway.
The friend smiled to himself.
"We're coming back from Sacramento."
"Excellent! Notify me when you've got the citizens out of town."
"Will do."
Tuesday
8:01 PM
Outside the King of Town's Castle, Free Country
Upon arrival in Free Country, Strong Sad had showed the King what he had really signed, and told him that the government had verified it. The King had been horrified. Strong Sad had told the King that he must announce his mistake to the citizens of Free Country. The King had sadly agreed. Strong Sad had not told him about the presence of his friend in Free Country, nor would he tell anyone else. At the current time, The King of Town had gathered all the townspeople outside his castle. In his invitations, he had said nothing about his speech but that everyone in Free Country was obligated to come.
The King surveyed the crowd in front of him. He saw all the townspeople. He saw Homestar, Marzipan, The Cheat, Strong Bad, Strong Mad, Pom Pom, Bubs, Coach Z, The Poopsmith and Homsar. They all looked pretty confused that the King had gathered them all.
The King himself was standing behind a podium that Strong Sad had set up. Strong Sad was sitting on a chair beside the King. No one knew why he wasn't in the crowd like everyone else.
"Citizens of Free Country," began the King. "I regret to inform you that I no longer own legal custody of our town."
There was a gasp from the audience.
"I must tell you that the owner of
Free Country, USA is now...Strong Sad."
There was an even louder
gasp.
"Uh...come again?" said Strong Bad.
"Yes, it's true," admitted the King. "He tricked me into thinking that I was signing an application form to a contest to win a lifetime supply of roast beef, so I signed it. But it was really a legal document that I signed, and when I signed it, I was thereby giving the ownership of Free Country over to Strong Sad."
Everyone in the audience stared at him.
"Um...my mistake?" said the King.
The audience continued to stare at him. There was a long silence.
Strong Sad stood up and walked up to the podium.
"Hello, citizens of Free Country. As my first act as mayor of Free Country, I hereby order the entire population of this town to leave, immediately."
There was an even louder gasp.
"You can't do that!"
"Oh, yes I can," said Strong Sad. "It's entirely within my power."
"That can't be true!" cried Bubs.
"Oh, but it can!" countered Strong Sad. "Ask the governor of California, if you'd like. He'd tell you that it's within my power, too."
There was a humongous pause. Eventually, Strong Bad broke the silence.
"YOU CRAPPY CRAP FOR CRAP!" he roared. He was just about to run up to Strong Sad and pound the crap out of him, when Strong Sad suddenly yelled, "Stop! That's against the law!"
Strong Bad came to a halt. "What?"
"Yes, it is! It's against the law to perform assault on the mayor! So either do what I say, or go to jail for a maximum of 15 years!"
Strong Bad paused, and then reluctantly retreated back into the crowd.
"Now, as I said, I hereby order that all residents of Free Country must leave the premise immediately. None of the residents are allowed to take any personal belongings with them, including money. This law is effective at the end of this sentence."
There was a very long pause. Everyone just stared at him.
"Go away or go to jail!" Strong Sad yelled.
No one said anything. After a few seconds, they all began to walk off from their town. Within twenty minutes, Strong Sad could not see their silhouettes against the sun anymore.
Strong Sad's friend had been watching the entire thing from a tower in the King's—well, former King's castle. After he could not see the Free Country citizens anymore, he took out his cell phone and dialled the number to Halloway's office. After a few seconds, he was talking with Halloway.
"Hello again! Has your friend Song Strad got the townspeople out of town yet?"
"Yes he has, and it's Strong Sad, not Song Strad."
"Whatever. The important thing is that is that the townspeople are out of the way. We'll send in a demolition crew tomorrow."
After a few minutes of talking, the conversation ended, and Strong Sad's friend hung up his cell phone.
The friend hung up. He looked back outside the window to the field where Strong Sad was still standing.
"Hey, Sad!" he called down to him.
Strong Sad looked up to the castle.
"I've sealed the deal with Olympus. They're gonna send a demolition crew tomorrow to get rid of all these building, and then they'll start building the studio."
"Oh, that's great!" called Strong Sad to him. "I can't wait!" He then paused. "Wait a second...they won't demolish my house, too, will they?"
"No, of course not! I'll get them to leave your house! But they'll only do it on one condition."
"Yes?"
"Would you be willing to let them keep all of your house intact, except your brother's rooms?"
"Oh, of course! That's fine!"
"Good! I'll tell them that!"
Strong Sad's friend watched him walk off towards his house. The friend then paused, looked around, and then said, "Well, I might as well sleep here. It's not like I have anything else to go. I guess I should have thought of where I was gonna sleep before I came here..."
Tuesday
10:55 PM
Strong Sad's House
Strong Sad lay in his bed, his eyes closed. He fell asleep to the sound of his own joyful thoughts.
I'm going to be rich...
I'm going to be famous...
I'm going to be able to show my genius to the world...
No Strong Bad...
No Strong Mad...
No one to push me around...
I'm going to run the show around here...
He smiled, and then he fell asleep.