Hello honourable readers/writers,

I've been concentrating mostly on this fic for the last couple of weeks, 'cause it's so hard to decide if it's good enough to satisfy myself. It's not that I want it to be perfect (God knows it is far from that), but I just wanted to make sure I've got a decent story on my hands before posting it.

Just want to inform you that this story is mostly focused on Pan, and her efforts. I like the girl, simply because she isn't a giggling airhead like Krillin's ex-girlfriend Maron. She's just a down-to-earth kinda woman, who is serious in her studies and life, but also realizes the meaning of the word 'fun'.

Action and a little bit of adventure sprinkled all over, angst plays a huge part later on. Eventually I will let romance play a part - either in this story or possibly a sequel - but for now there's just no place for it.

Rating: PG13 for this part (just in case); overall R.

Warnings: None for now.

Almost Doesn't Count

Chapter 1 - Desperate

Pan snarled and kicked the heavy air, wishing she could actually force it away from her. Unfortunately this was not the case; the heat still attacked her full force, unrelenting in its intensity. She had long since mentally drifted away from her body, a deep frown etched on the contours of her beautiful face.

Any observer could have thought it was a frown of concentration, or maybe a frown of anger if they were to judge by the sharpness of her movements. Perhaps it was a frown of irritation, or of some disturbing thought. Or perhaps it was a combination of all the above.

But Pan didn't care for the world around her at the moment.

Another extremely hot night had passed, and with that had come a whole new wave of pain, a grief so deep that she couldn't possibly comprehend it. And it wasn't her own. Of course, she missed her Grampa Goku terribly, her heart ached to have him back, but it was almost nothing compared to this, to what her Grandmother felt.

Every night Pan heard Chi Chi crying herself to sleep, tears of endless grief. If this kept going the way the way it currently was, then her grandma would die because of it. And Pan would be damned if she would let that happen. There just had to be a way to get him back!

She continued to spar with thin air, occasionally wiping the forming sweat from her forehead with the back of her equally sweaty hand. It was no use. The heat was too much, but her stubbornness would not allow her to stop once she'd started something. Now she was just ignoring the heat. Or at least trying to.

Goku had been gone for about 7 years now, years that Pan had spent at the original Son house. Her mother had protested against her idea of moving in with her grandmother and away from home, but she had held firm. She would not let Chi Chi be lonely while nobody paid any attention to her, all floating in ignorant bliss that Chi Chi had moved on. It was exactly the opposite, Pan had noticed immediately. There was just an emptiness in her eyes, a void that had once been filled with a fire, a passion, a love. Homestudies had seemed the only option for her.

Now she heard her grandmother every night, and saw her act happy in front of everyone in the light of day. It was total agony for Chi Chi, Pan could see it in her whole demeanor and in turn it was killing her inside. They were in a vicious circle, and it couldn't go on like this. Something had to be done.

But what?

Pan landed quietly and grabbed a fluffy white towel from the washing line, wiping her face and neck roughly before draping it over her shoulders and picking up a bottle of water. Setting it to her mouth, she took huge gulps and relaxed her strained muscles a bit.

All options had led her to nowhere. The Earth Dragonballs were gone and she had absolutely no idea where New Namek was. That ruled out all possibilities-

"Pan? Your parents and your brother are going to arrive in a half an hour and you still need to take a shower." Chi Chi's soft voice interrupted her thoughts, and Pan looked up to see the other woman standing in the threshold of their domed house. She forced a smile that did not quite reach her eyes and then nodded.

The other woman could be so strong-willed and spirited at times, but with only Pan around she had changed a great deal. It was like her Grandmother let her guard down when she was practically alone, but felt that she had to keep up a good front in front of others. And Pan couldn't blame her for that, she had long ago realized, because it was exactly what she did herself.

Pan slowly made her way into the house as Chi Chi walked into the small kitchen to continue preparing dinner. Trudging down the hall she tried to clear her mind and closed her eyes. Now was not the time to think upon a solution for her problems, she would do so later when her mind wasn't so jumbled and her body not so tired.

"Pan!" A little boy yelled as he practically jumped up the stairs. Pan stepped out of the bathroom, toweling her shoulder-length black hair vigorously when she heard him. A tiny smile tugged at her lips at hearing her young sibling. Her little brother jumped into her arms when he saw her and she gladly returned the gesture of affection.

"Goku," She paused and inhaled the familiar scent of her brother, closing her eyes. His face was buried in the crook of her neck and she could feel his heart beating. At least one Goku was still alive as ever, though it was a younger version of 5 years old, "Are you alright?"

Goku pulled back and grinned happily at her, nodding, his eyes twinkling with innocent joy. It reminded her so much of her Grandfather that it startled her, but she didn't let it phase her outwardly. She should be used to it by now. Right?

Before she had time to react he suddenly began to pull her down the stairs hurriedly. The smell of all kinds of foods penetrated the muggy air and made both their mouths water in anticipation. Pan often wondered how it was possible that her Grandmother Chi Chi was so good at cooking and she herself was such a disaster in the kitchen, but she guessed it was due to the fact she didn't pay much attention to cooking. She sighed tiredly. Maybe a training session hadn't been one of the greatest ideas today after all.

"Hey Panny! Hon, how are your studies?" 'Very subtle, Dad,' she thought as she plopped down into a vacant chair. Sure, everything was going great, her grandmother wouldn't have it any other way. A tiny smirk surfaced on her face as her mother scolded little Goku for attempting to steal a chicken leg, while her father was intently staring at her, waiting patiently for an answer in the affirmative that he knew she would give.

Meanwhile, Chi Chi was standing at the counter, staring outside listlessly. She looked so drained, so exhausted. Nobody noticed it but her and it frustrated Pan immensely. Without her grandfather, things would never be the same, and this only strengthened her resolve; she had to find a way to bring him back. Not just for Chi Chi's sake, but for everybody's. She could see it eating away at everyone, even Vegeta had a somewhat disturbed look in his eyes whenever they talked about his foe-turned-friend.

Pan reverted her stare back to Gohan's face and smiled slightly for his sake.

"Everything's going great, Dad, just great."

:.:Next Day:.:

"No, Grandma, let me do it." Pan grabbed the towel from the other woman and a plate from the drying rack and began to do the dishes by herself. From the corner of her eyes, she could see Chi Chi leave the kitchen and she let out a weary sigh. The spirited woman had finally given up trying to convince her granddaughter that it wasn't necessary to do the nasty chore. But Pan wasn't deterred; Chi Chi had done enough for today.

She gazed out the window and pondered some more. Maybe the whole thing was out of her hands? Maybe she wasn't capable of bringing Goku back to life. Shaking her head, Pan continued to dry the plates in an absent manner. Of course she would be able to do this, she would never give up on trying.

The phone rang as she finished the last of the dishes and she trudged over to it. Once she was there she quickly picked it up, slightly irritated that somebody called in the middle of her thinking of a plan.

"What?" Pan grumbled, ballencing the phone between her ear and shoulder while hurriedly wiping her hands dry on a cloth to prevent said phone from falling. However, a familiar chuckle on the other end halted her movements for a moment.

"Well, that's a nice way to greet your favourite friend. Though a simple 'hello Trunks' would've been sufficient." She rolled her eyes in agitation and switched the phone to her other ear. Sitting down on the couch with the cordless phone, Pan got comfortable in front of the tv.

"But that would be so boring, now wouldn't it, boxer boy?" She snickered as she heard him suck his teeth in anger at her nickname for him. He simply hated it; she of course loved it and used it as often as possible to nag him. However he always called her 'Panny' or something akin in return. This time she prevented him from replying by cutting him off quickly.

"By the way, whatever gave you the idea that you are my favourite?" She heard a snort on the other end, and a smile tugged at the corner of her lips in response. She was slightly curious at his reason for calling, but she had a vague hunch. Her shoulders slumped in disappointment before he even said the words.

"It's pretty obvious. Now, anyway, I called because, well, I can't spar with you tonight like I promised I would." His voice was full of regret and guilt as he spoke. Pan frowned; she'd been looking forward to sparring with him, for various reasons. His fighting style was unpredictable and nearly flawless. All in all, he was a real challenge.

"I'm sorry. You see, I-"

"Never mind. It's fine, I should be used to it by now," she growled, "bye."

"No, Pan, wait, I-" But she had already slammed the phone on the hook. She couldn't figure out why she was this angry, but she just was. After sitting on the couch for a few minutes more, Pan shrugged it off. Maybe it wasn't that bad that he couldn't, because now she'd have time to find Dende and ask him about what she needed to know.

She decided to go to bed early; tomorrow promised to be a long day. Getting up, she yelled to her grandmother she was going to take a shower and then go to bed. The stairs seemed endless as she trudged upward, many things weighing on her tired mind.

Yes, a hot shower seemed like the perfect idea.

Trunks frowned as he placed the phone back on the hook. He'd just called Pan to tell her that he wouldn't be able to make it, and he had planned to make another appointment with her. That had suddenly seemed impossible, for she had hung up before he had a chance to explain himself.

His frown deepened as he remembered her tone of voice; it'd been void of emotion. He would really have to make it up to her soon. Oh well, he would swing by her later and appologize. Right now he had other things to do.

"Trunks? Honey, are you in the living room?" The gorgeous brunette hesitantly walked into the room before smiling a dazzling smile at him. Trunks smirked and motioned for her to sit next to him. The woman gladly did so and plopped down next to him, cuddling into his side, settling down to watch a movie with him.

"What's on your mind?" Athena asked, looking up and gazing deeply into his endless depths. He was suddenly remembered of the first time he gazed into those orbs. She was a publisher, and he had met her at a restaurant after a business meeting. The beauty had all he needed and wanted; she was smart and nice and modest and sweet. He really liked her and was glad she liked him too.

"Oh, it's nothing important." With that he pushed a button on the remote and the movie started up. Athena rested her head on his shoulder and relaxed, and with her he followed.

Worries would have to wait until later, he decided as he rested his head comfortably on hers, deeply inhaling her familiar scent.

"Well, you see it's right there. It's only a little ways away," Dende had a proud smile on his face as he placed one of his green pointer fingers on the huge star map. It seemed to please him greatly that someone showed interest in his homeplanet - especially the daughter of one of his bestest friends.

New Namek was about 3 days away from Earth, Dende had told her, and it had two suns and three moons. It's environment was very similar to former Namek. That is why his people had survived this long.

"I'm surprised that you would be interested in my planet, Pan. What brought this on?" Pan smiled at the green Namek and walked over closer to the table where the map was lying. She quickly wrote the coordinates down on a little piece of paper, without him seeing it and turned back to Dende with a secretive Son grin on her lips.

"It's just been so boring around here lately and I'm very curious about your planet and culture." Dende nodded in understanding - especially in comparison to their earlier adventures he could understand that it might be a little.. boring, though he personally was pretty grateful for the peace on Earth for that same reason.

Pan didn't like to lie, even if what she had said was partially true. She'd decided not to tell him of her real plans; he would just tell her father and then she wouldn't be able to go. Her father was so protective sometimes, it drove her plain mad.

"I'm sorry, Dende, but I have to go now, otherwise I'm going to miss dinner!" He nodded and led her out of the domed structure. They talked a little more before Pan lifted into the air with a smug grin on her face. Finally. Now all she needed was a ship.

Fortunately she knew exactly where to look.

Dende frowned thoughtfully - something felt wrong. The look in Pan's eyes had held a secret, he had sensed it the minute she had landed on his Lookout. Something was in her eyes, a secret, a foresight of definite change, but he didn't know what to make of it.

Kid, I need to talk to you, Piccolo's voice suddenly resounded in his head, which inadvertently brought a smile to the God's young face.

Hello, Piccolo. How are things down there? Dende walked over to the edge of his plateau and looked down at the people on Earth, keeping a special eye on his friends. The security guard of Hell snorted.

Nothing out of the ordinary. What I contacted you for, however, is a possible problem. Son Gohan's daughter's up to something. Dende raised an eyebrow. He had always known Piccolo to have a soft spot for Gohan, but that he actually came to warn him to keep a protective eye on his old student's daughter was a little surprising.

I know, she just visited me, Dende frowned in thought, She wanted to know about New Namek. I have a feeling it wasn't just so she could learn about our culture. Piccolo was quiet for a minute. After a couple of seconds he spoke once again in a booming voice.

I sensed her feelings and thoughts during my meditation. I have a distinct feeling that Gohan's not going to be pleased with her plans.

Some minutes later Pan landed soundly in the back yard of the CC compound and quietly walked in. She wryly remembered that Trunks probably wouldn't be home right now because of his other 'priorities'. A snort escaped her as she grabbed the orange juice from the overstocked fridge and a glass from one of the many cabinets before sitting down at the huge table.

"Probably some girl again. Why women continue to throw themselves at him so unreservedly will always remain a mystery to me," she muttered while pouring the juice into a glass and drinking, staring vacantly ahead. She was glad that her mind was pleasantly blank for a minute or so before the thought of herself mooning over some guy, like Trunks, made her produce an inevitable snort of disbelief. No way, not ever.

She took another sip from the juice as she let her mind wander. This house was like a second home to her. She used to come here all the time and now she had to leave. Oh well, it would only be for a short time, but when she was back her Grampa would be here and everything would be back to n-

"Pan? What are you doing here? I thought I told you I couldn't spar tonight?" Trunks' voice interrupted her moment of peace and she rolled her eyes in annoyance. Then she noticed the overly hurried tone he was speaking in and she smiled wickedly; she just loved teasing him and this would be the perfect opportunity. He was arrogant and it wasn't very often that she could find an opening to take him down.

"Oh can it. I'm not here for you," Trunks was surprised, but walked over to the other side of the table and sat down, uncharacteristically fidgeting while avoiding her eyes. Her smile broadened; his date must arrive soon so he wanted to get rid of her. Well, she thought ironically, he'd get what he wanted in every possible sense of the word - at least for quite a while.

"Well, for who then?" Trunks' tone steadied, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair. He looked up as she got up and walked over to the counter and placed the empty glass in the sink. Then she walked over to the back door, but not before looking back once more.

"What do you care? All you want is for me to leave before your date arrives or I might ruin your plans, right?" His eyes widened and he quickly shook his head in denial. She smiled again, "That's alright Trunks, I'll be leaving anyways, don't worry."

And with that she walked out the door and over to the labs. Pan slightly lowered her face to the panel and passed through a retinal scan. Bulma had given her access to these labs a long time ago because Pan loved to help her with her projects. Now it was very convenient, for she knew about the relatively old spaceship in the back of the storage room. It would suit her plans perfectly.

The long halls led her past doors of all kinds - with nameplates, and without. Fortunately the one she was looking for was at the end. Another retinal scan and she was granted access to a huge room filled with old inventions and parts of new ones. On the right there was a huge closet with all kinds of capsules, variating from ridiculously small ones, to box sizes.

The air was unbelievably hot and muggy, because there was no air conditioning needed in this room - almost nobody came here. Nonetheless, Pan took a deep breath and let her eyes roam the closet with capsules. She needed one perticular capsule, slightly larger than the rest with a yellow label, number...

"Ah, number 358."

She pushed one of the buttons on the right side and the glass panel opened for her. With the right capsule in hand she walked out of the compound, leaving everything behind the way she'd found it. Well, except for the capsule of course, but that was a tiny detail that would never be missed. Besides, she'd be long gone by the time they found out.

Walking along the side of CC Living Quarters Pan let her eyes wander around the yard. The many flowerbeds of Mrs. Briefs, Trunks' Grandmother, were scattered all around and the GR had long since been attached to the main dome for easier access. She smiled fondly at the thought of little Gojita, the son of Goten and Bra, sparring in the room with his grandfather Vegeta.

Though she loved the little guy as much as if he were her own little brother, she wasn't ready to have a child of her own. There was still too much wildness and recklessness in her soul for her to bear that kind of responsibility.

She walked along until she came at one of the windows to the living room. Through it, Pan could see Trunks sitting on the couch with an arm wrapped around the waist of a 'cute' brunette. She scrunched her nose in disgust at the picture; it was so typical of Trunks. But she felt kind of hurt at the realization that he rather wanted to be with another woman than her. She looked down at her hands and then back up at Trunks' smiling face. He'd made her a promise and he'd broken it once again.

With a final glance, Pan lifted into the air and went back to her house to prepare for her departure.

"Grandma! I've got to go." Pan whined.

Chi Chi had been nagging her for information about her whereabouts of that afternoon for a while now. Pan had apparently missed lunch and this greatly worried and displeased her grandmother. Now she was desperately trying to get out of there with some lame excuse.

"Why?" The woman momentarily stopped her rantings to listen to her granddaughter. She was very worried; it wasn't common for her to stay away the whole afternoon, let alone leave again.

"I need to focus on my training, I can't do it here," Pan lied straight through her teeth; she didn't want to tell anybody of her plans, for what if they failed? Then she would disappoint everyone, "I'm going to go away for a couple of days." Pan let out a sigh as Chi Chi's eyes widened. She hadn't been looking forward to this.

"Why? Where?" Her voice was panicky and tight, making Pan cringe on the inside. Suddenly pain became evident in the older woman's eyes and Pan frowned deeply. No, this was not going the way she wanted it to go. Not at all. This was not what she had wanted!

"I'm sorry, Grandma, I just need some time by myself. I promise I will be back soon, I promise. It'll only be a couple of days." Before she had time to rethink her decision, Pan ran out of the house, a small bag with capsules slung over her shoulder.

Chi Chi kept scowling at the door long after Pan had closed it behind her. At first when Pan had told her of her plans, she had been shocked. Feelings of old came back to her like a cold shower; somebody was leaving her again. Just like-

"No! No, not again.." A despaired yell penetrated the silence of the little house, but it was not to be heard by any other than herself. Goku had been gone for 7 long years, and she couldn't be mad at him - she never could. Now she had no hope left of ever reviving him, of ever seeing, touching, feeling him again. She had come to terms with herself and realized that the only thing she had left was her family.

Her sadness had long since turned into helpless anger. She'd pushed the fear and memories from her mind and had begun her daily activities. She would be damned if she was going to put up with this for much longer. As soon as Pan was back she was going to have a long talk with the young lady about her responsibilities. She would not allow her granddaughter to slack off from studying any time in the near future.

"Three.. Two.. One... Lift off!" She almost puked as she felt her brain pulled through her feet, but fortunately it was over just as quickly. When she was out of Earth's atmosphere Pan unstrapped herself from the uncomfortable chair and got up. After stretching she went to her bedchamber and plopped down on the huge bed tiredly.

She couldn't deny that she felt guilty for leaving her grandmother and the others without a decent explanation for her sudden disappearance. She could only hope that they would all take good care of Chi Chi and not neglect her like the past few years. It wasn't that her family and friends did not care for the once spirited woman - they just believed she was alright as she was.

A tiny smile touched Pan's lips as she thought about all their reactions when Goku would be back. Goku Jr. and Gojita would look at him with huge eyes that told of millions of stories she had told them over the years of their tiny existence - she had felt it her duty to keep the memory of her grandfather alive, even if nobody else would because of the pain it brought.

Goten would be so happy to have another chance with his father, it would shine in his eyes. Her father would be equally happy, especially since she knew that he had always harbored some kind of guilt towards his distruction at the hands of that Cell creature.

Vegeta would wear that challenging smirk - he would be happy though he wouldn't show it outwardly. And Bulma would be overjoyed and immediately throw the biggest party ever. Trunks and Bra would not act very different from their parents. And Krillin, she'd always liked him for he was once best friends with Goku, would be so glad to see his lifelong friend again.

And her grandmother..

There would not be words to describe what Chi Chi would feel or how she would act. To see her husband again after so many lonely years, months, days, nights - hours! She couldn't even imagine it, but it was what she strived for; to find out. To see her glow with happiness together with her grandfather.

Her fantasies had always kept her trying to find a way. Not once had she doubted her capabilities to make this succeed. But she didn't know how she herself would react. There were so many things she wanted to talk to him about, to explain how much she'd missed him, to hug him again, to see him and her grandmother happy like they should be.

That she had dedicated these years of her life to this cause had kept her busy and she didn't mind it. That she had to give up her own search for happiness and love had not even crossed her mind. Or maybe it had, once or twice. But it didn't matter, because in some deep hidden part of her Pan knew she had done it just for that purpose. To forget about herself.

After all, she wasn't that important right now.

Hm. I surely hope it isn't boring. If you think it is, wait for the next chap. This is just a bit of prepping for the action, ya know? Oh, and if you see any things you don't understand, email me.

Comments and criticism are welcome.